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      05-01-2007, 07:54 AM   #67
fire-n-ice
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Hell forget the money, what about all that worry and heartache? The sleepless nights - the sacrificial sex???**shudders*
The thought makes me wanna
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      05-01-2007, 01:08 PM   #68
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The author of the original question is almost a mirror of myself about 5 years ago. (as with other posters)

I went to JHU - Moved to NYC (Bought an apt) and was married at 28.

Wife works at an Investment Bank and I worked at a large mgmt consultancy (big 4) Now work for a Fortune 500 place.

Having kids is not so much an impact on the wallet as it is an impact on the lifestyle. However, they tend to go hand in hand

Here's a breakdown of what happens:

Move to the burbs - from 350-1Mill depending on house
Bought 2 cars (as opposed to 1 in NYC) 80K
Get your Suburb admission pass - A Costco Card ~ 100 initial fee + ~ 200 every couple of weeks
Nanny to take care of the kid(s) ~500/week
Wife stops working - negative cash flow

Now - Having said all these things, I personally would do it all over again. My kids are awesome/everything to me
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      05-01-2007, 01:32 PM   #69
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Don't fool yourself..they are expensive. My sister and brother in law have already dropped $72k into their two boy's 529 plans ($12k/yr per child). Moved to the burbs ($1MM+ mtg), 2 cars (MDX and Pickup $60k each but paid for).

They say a 4yr degree is going to cost upwards of $400k.

NFW am I going to have kids.
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      05-01-2007, 02:00 PM   #70
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My $0.02 cents, FWIW...

If you want to be a parent, be a good one, regardless of money, social stature, what you drive, where they go to school, and how you live.

Too many 'kids' nowadays see 'parents' on TV and end up total losers.

I'm 32, my wife is 29, when we feel the time is right for kids, we'll jump into it with love and support, no reservations. I make a nice living, but it doesn't matter to me how I live. I drive an e92, but I don't drive one for the benefit of my future kids or anyone for that matter, I drive it for me. Kids are expensive, sure, but the real investment is time, interest, education, and LOVE. Kids are treated in our society today as an accessory. There strikes me to be SO MANY awesome parents among the members of this forum, folks whose love for their BMW is only outdone by their love for their families. Be one of those Dads, that's the only answer to this question you pose. It doesn't matter if you live on Long Island or a cardboard box.

"Our" generation is lacking in parenting skills b/c we still want to be rich, famous, and do whatever it is we want to do...be one of those Dads that makes a difference in your child's life and that's the greatest gift you could ever 'buy' for your future child.

I grew up pretty poor, in a very wealthy area. My parents did not have a BMW, although my father always wanted one. He worked too hard and made too little. I cannot wait for the day when I can buy him one, and I feel selfish having one when he doesn't...but what matters is that my father made me a smart person, who grew up to be able to EARN the things I have. Every time I get in my car, I thank my parents for their love, direction, and vigilence in a small way...I look forward to passing that on to my child, when that day comes...

There's your answer...it costs YOU nothing but what you want to give to your child.
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      05-01-2007, 02:07 PM   #71
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I could not imagine my life without my kids but they are very expensive and not just in cash but in time.

I found it amazing how quickly my priorities changed when I had kids.

The office vs home? Home always won after the kids.

New car or private school? No contest, private school.

Nice island vacation with the wife or Disneyland? Hello Mickey Mouse.

The investment pays off though every time one of them says, "Love ya dad."
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      05-01-2007, 02:16 PM   #72
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My Old English Mastiff tells me she loves me every time I come home from work! She spins around in circles and dances, hops in the air and wags her tail long after I'm home. She's never mad at me, loves me unconditionally and stays with me every second when I don't feel well.

Now that's amore, just look at that face would you?!
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      05-01-2007, 02:32 PM   #73
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fire-n-ice View Post
My Old English Mastiff tells me she loves me every time I come home from work! She spins around in circles and dances, hops in the air and wags her tail long after I'm home. She's never mad at me, loves me unconditionally and stays with me every second when I don't feel well.

Now that's amore, just look at that face would you?!
a face only a mother would love...

j/k. that's an awesome dog.
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      05-02-2007, 03:44 PM   #74
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It's ridiculously expensive to raise kids in the NYC suburbs, if you want to live well. Tons of sacrifice. You will never be rich enough to afford it.

That said, yeah, it's done every day, by people that are much less 'well off' than you. The parental rewards are not monetary. I grew up in the NYC suburbs, best upbringing ever, public school in a small town.

By the way, my third child is due in Sept. Amnio results were normal (wife 37), received results yesterday. Some of my friends and relatives are having difficulty conceiving - 2 close friends and sister-law; factor that into your equation.

OT, I was in NYC this weekend, friend's bachelor party. What's up with all the BMW's in Manhattan? Every fifth car was a bimmer. Great weather, ate at the Knickerbocker (good shell steak!).
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      05-02-2007, 07:44 PM   #75
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neurorad View Post
It's ridiculously expensive to raise kids in the NYC suburbs, if you want to live well. Tons of sacrifice. You will never be rich enough to afford it.

That said, yeah, it's done every day, by people that are much less 'well off' than you. The parental rewards are not monetary. I grew up in the NYC suburbs, best upbringing ever, public school in a small town.

By the way, my third child is due in Sept. Amnio results were normal (wife 37), received results yesterday. Some of my friends and relatives are having difficulty conceiving - 2 close friends and sister-law; factor that into your equation.

OT, I was in NYC this weekend, friend's bachelor party. What's up with all the BMW's in Manhattan? Every fifth car was a bimmer. Great weather, ate at the Knickerbocker (good shell steak!).
You can be rich enough to afford kids... look at Paris Hilton, she turned out well. Hell, she even made home movies that daddy would be proud of!
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      05-02-2007, 09:34 PM   #76
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ganeil View Post
I could not imagine my life without my kids but they are very expensive and not just in cash but in time.

I found it amazing how quickly my priorities changed when I had kids.

The office vs home? Home always won after the kids.

New car or private school? No contest, private school.

Nice island vacation with the wife or Disneyland? Hello Mickey Mouse.

The investment pays off though every time one of them says, "Love ya dad."
+1
Agreed. However, whoever wonders what the impact is on finances-it is there and it is not insubstantial. On the other hand I would be emptier inside and lonelier without my familly, and the Porsche GT3 in the garage would not make up for that.
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      05-02-2007, 09:37 PM   #77
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If I ever have kids they will probably end up on "America's Most Wanted"
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      05-02-2007, 09:59 PM   #78
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Hey...thanks to everyody who contributed to this thread...you guys have taught me a lot...
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      05-04-2007, 12:58 PM   #79
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Hey...thanks to everyody who contributed to this thread...you guys have taught me a lot...
Curious...what did you take away from this e-discussion?
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      05-04-2007, 01:28 PM   #80
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ganeil View Post
I could not imagine my life without my kids but they are very expensive and not just in cash but in time.

I found it amazing how quickly my priorities changed when I had kids.

The office vs home? Home always won after the kids.

New car or private school? No contest, private school.

Nice island vacation with the wife or Disneyland? Hello Mickey Mouse.

The investment pays off though every time one of them says, "Love ya dad."
Well put! They can become expensive but like you said its all worth it everytime they tell you " I love you dad/mom". That is priceless! Have children if you can afford to raise them in today's society. Don't have kids and not be able to offer them a life that is not atleast the same or should be better than yours!
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