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      04-19-2011, 09:50 PM   #1
CollinsE90
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Best/Funniest Facebook status thread

I have made a few in the past that I find pretty funny, wanted to see what everyone else has seen.

Iron Man is a super hero, Iron Woman is a command.

You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

Thank you Bruce Almighty, for helping me remember how to spell b-e-a-utiful

Women think having a baby is hard, trying playing Call of Duty with a lagging connection

Someone call Kanye and tell him to interrupt the middle east revolution so our gas prices will go back down

Fat girls comment on this status, so I can delete you easier
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      04-19-2011, 09:52 PM   #2
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Lol!!
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      04-19-2011, 09:58 PM   #3
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-"If you got tourette problems i feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but a twitch aint one"

This is what happens when my friend's accounts get hacked....

-"god masterbating with these tweezers sux, especially while i stroke my nipple"

-"My name is **** and I love touching little boys."

-"is fucking in the back seat of a car."

-"ugh, mexican food really does not agree with me :/ looks like another long night shitting in the bathroom..." (I think it was hacked)

I've also seen a hundred statuses that say something like "I'm gay". NEVER leave your Facebook accounts unattended!!
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      04-19-2011, 10:03 PM   #4
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You don't get enough attention on FB and have to post this here?

BTM hates everything
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      04-19-2011, 10:10 PM   #5
CollinsE90
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BTM View Post
You don't get enough attention on FB and have to post this here?

BTM hates everything
you caught me, I have no friends and was disappointed with the lack of "likes" and comments on the ones I did, and wanted more people to recognize me so I posted here

do you really have to hate everything

Not a big fan of fb, and there are 2 types of posters. Motivational quote posters, people who post their entire lives. I like to post the occasional funny because I dont like sharing my personal life with everyone, and motivational quotes are retarded
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Last edited by CollinsE90; 04-19-2011 at 10:18 PM..
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      04-19-2011, 10:20 PM   #6
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"someone said i look like 50 cent, but i think im a million dollars"
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      04-19-2011, 10:26 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BTM View Post
You don't get enough attention on FB and have to post this here?

BTM hates everything
no worries i give him shit on there too
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      04-19-2011, 10:37 PM   #8
CollinsE90
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OK, so apparently its "rude" to make "whoosh" sounds when an asian person hands you something. I honestly thought they would appreciate the Ninja sound effects.

So a homophobe, a rapist, and a black guy walk into a bar, and everyone's like "Can I have your autograph, Kobe?"

"Women can fake orgasms, but Men can fake entire relationships"
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      04-19-2011, 10:42 PM   #9
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
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I think my favorite one I wrote was:

Obama is now president. Race card is off the table, bitches. Time to get a job Jesse Jackson.
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      04-19-2011, 10:44 PM   #10
CollinsE90
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ferrari355fi View Post
I think my favorite one I wrote was:

Obama is now president. Race card is off the table, bitches. Time to get a job Jesse Jackson.
that just reminded me of one

"The only positive thing Cash for Clunkers provided, was it got rid of 80% of Obama '08 bumper stickers"
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      04-19-2011, 10:59 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CollinsE90 View Post
that just reminded me of one

"The only positive thing Cash for Clunkers provided, was it got rid of 80% of Obama '08 bumper stickers"
LOL!
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      04-19-2011, 11:01 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CollinsE90 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by ferrari355fi View Post
I think my favorite one I wrote was:

Obama is now president. Race card is off the table, bitches. Time to get a job Jesse Jackson.
that just reminded me of one

"The only positive thing Cash for Clunkers provided, was it got rid of 80% of Obama '08 bumper stickers"
This.
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      04-19-2011, 11:08 PM   #13
CollinsE90
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if cats always land on their feet and toast always lands jelly side down, then a cats feet glued to jellyside toast will hover in quantum indecision.

If the zombie apocalypse ever happens, im just going to surround my house with outward facing treadmills. I should be fine.

Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with "according to the prophecy"
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      04-19-2011, 11:10 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SchlauCow View Post
"someone said i look like 50 cent, but i think im a million dollars"
lmao
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      04-19-2011, 11:10 PM   #15
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So I'm just a looker on this discussion board, but I fucking love OT and all of you that participate in it. Literally make my days go that much faster and makes them alot more enjoyable. Fucking awesome I'll join the mix sooner or later
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      04-19-2011, 11:19 PM   #16
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
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Dear HIV/AIDS, Congratulations. You have a new African country to add to your infection list. Welcome South Sudan.
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      04-19-2011, 11:26 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flashprats128i View Post
So I'm just a looker on this discussion board, but I fucking love OT and all of you that participate in it. Literally make my days go that much faster and makes them alot more enjoyable. Fucking awesome I'll join the mix sooner or later
the fuck kinda status is this??
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And BMWM3 ..I will be filing a harrasment suit against you and/or charges. See you in court very very soon. Thanks.. Have fun with your nonsense.
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      04-19-2011, 11:49 PM   #18
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Damn, bad trip. I guess theres my welcome to OT.. Lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by bmwmthree View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by flashprats128i View Post
So I'm just a looker on this discussion board, but I fucking love OT and all of you that participate in it. Literally make my days go that much faster and makes them alot more enjoyable. Fucking awesome I'll join the mix sooner or later
the fuck kinda status is this??
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      04-19-2011, 11:53 PM   #19
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which status so far will get me the most likes?
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      04-19-2011, 11:55 PM   #20
CollinsE90
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"Today I realized if you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a women who learns her place"

Do real army rangers get pissed when their bros are campers?
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      04-20-2011, 12:44 AM   #21
bmwmthree
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flashprats128i View Post
Damn, bad trip. I guess theres my welcome to OT.. Lol
lol woops, welcome. enjoy your stay.
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And BMWM3 ..I will be filing a harrasment suit against you and/or charges. See you in court very very soon. Thanks.. Have fun with your nonsense.
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      04-20-2011, 01:32 AM   #22
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Not too long ago I went on my buddy's FB and changed everything on there. One of the funniest things I did was change his religion to:

Religion: Dick Worship
Description: Because I love to worship the most powerful thing in the Universe.


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