Dumb tuning question

[Winter.M3]

I'm really new to tuning. I want loud pops when revved, but not a burble on my e92 m3 with a valvetronic axle back and test pipes. Is there a flash tune that can do this? Or do I have to take this to a BMW tuner.

Of course a bmw tuner will be able to do what I like, but there's none near me.

Thanks!

[DukeofAlexandria]

You shouldn't be popping or 'burble' tuning any engine really. It offers NO benefits and is atrociously annoying. You'll burn up O2 sensors and cats.....though you're going test pipes so I guess it doesn't matter.

Either way, you'll be igniting unburnt fuel(effectively how both tunes work), but the difference with a 'pop' tune is the additional back pressure from massively retarding the ignition timing (for pops) and could cause permanent damage since it's delaying the ignition vs. just dumping extra fuel for a burble.

I've never heard of someone wanting this, why do you?

-Duke

[pbonsalb]

It sounds cool to kids.

[tbuck]

Originally Posted by pbonsalb

It sounds cool to kids.

^This.

My direct-injected Mini JCW does this, but that is a by-product of the direct injection. Doing it on a port-injection car like the E9x is a very bad idea, as mentioned above. It sounds good enough as it is....

[Winter.M3]

Originally Posted by DukeofAlexandria

You shouldn't be popping or 'burble' tuning any engine really. It offers NO benefits and is atrociously annoying. You'll burn up O2 sensors and cats.....though you're going test pipes so I guess it doesn't matter.

Either way, you'll be igniting unburnt fuel(effectively how both tunes work), but the difference with a 'pop' tune is the additional back pressure from massively retarding the ignition timing (for pops) and could cause permanent damage since it's delaying the ignition vs. just dumping extra fuel for a burble.

I've never heard of someone wanting this, why do you?

-Duke

Backfire just sounds cool in my opinion. It makes a cars exhaust stand out more... and the louder the better. But not too much. I don't want to be annoying.

[Winter.M3]

Originally Posted by tbuck

^This.

My direct-injected Mini JCW does this, but that is a by-product of the direct injection. Doing it on a port-injection car like the E9x is a very bad idea, as mentioned above. It sounds good enough as it is....

True, I just like backfire haha. When I bought my car at 55k miles. The sparkplugs hadn't been done and in result made some cool pops. Of course I replaced them, got a proper exhaust and now it doesn't pop, except for a few small burbles that equate to my friends 325ci with a muffler delete. They're boring

[Winter.M3]

Originally Posted by pbonsalb

It sounds cool to kids.

Well, I am 19. So of course I want the "coolest" sound, I'm just stubborn haha. Clout is a big thing at this age I guess, even though I don't try to flex my car I still want it to stand out.

[SYT_Shadow]

I see in a few months we'll have a thread about a blown engine after running full E85 and a burble tune...

[DRLane]

Originally Posted by SYT_Shadow

I see in a few months we'll have a thread about a blown engine after running full E85 and a burble tune...

But those bangs...

[M43S7RO]

Need a way to track these cars so that I know which not to consider for purchase in the future!

[tbuck]

Originally Posted by Winter.M3

True, I just like backfire haha. When I bought my car at 55k miles. The sparkplugs hadn't been done and in result made some cool pops. Of course I replaced them, got a proper exhaust and now it doesn't pop, except for a few small burbles that equate to my friends 325ci with a muffler delete. They're boring

I guess the point is two fold, it is damaging to your car and it serves no purpose other than to show off. So in effect you will be spending a large amount of money to potentially destroy your engine while announcing to everyone that you are doing so by making your once $70k car no better than a $30k Honda Civic.

Look, I was once 19 as well, long ago though it may be. So I get it, really. But if you want to make a statement you may have picked the wrong car, as these are rather understated cars to begin with, even with all the ///M bling. Not to mention, that aforementioned Civic might be able to leave you in a cloud of dust these days as just about everything has more power than we do. Also, this is mainly an OE+ type forum, so adding some rice to your BMW will generally lead to the need for a flame suit.

Anyway, just an old farts $0.02. Good luck!

[DukeofAlexandria]

Originally Posted by tbuck

I guess the point is two fold, it is damaging to your car and it serves no purpose other than to show off. So in effect you will be spending a large amount of money to potentially destroy your engine while announcing to everyone that you are doing so by making your once $70k car no better than a $30k Honda Civic.

Look, I was once 19 as well, long ago though it may be. So I get it, really. But if you want to make a statement you may have picked the wrong car, as these are rather understated cars to begin with, even with all the ///M bling. Not to mention, that aforementioned Civic might be able to leave you in a cloud of dust these days as just about everything has more power than we do. Also, this is mainly an OE+ type forum, so adding some rice to your BMW will generally lead to the need for a flame suit.

Anyway, just an old farts $0.02. Good luck!

This^.

If you wanted some hot boi shit, go buy a civic with a snail and pop to your hearts content, but this isn't the car to do that with and for very good reasons - mostly from a mechanical standpoint which you basically glossed over from my original post.

The irony of all this is that by your own admission (read thread title), you know jackshit about tuning/engines, yet your replies have basically been "well it sounds dope dawg!". 4-5 other members have stated the reasoning why this is horrible idea (not only from a sheer annoyance standpoint, but a mechanical engineering standpoint). If you're going to ignore the LITERAL 50+ years of combined wisdom between just the few of us who have posted, why bother asking at all? Just go do what you wanna do man and then post the story of your engine blowing up.

I'll bring the popcorn for that story, tbuck, pick up those little twizzler bites, love those things.

-Duke

[akkando]

Originally Posted by Winter.M3

Backfire just sounds cool in my opinion. It makes a cars exhaust stand out more... and the louder the better. But not too much. I don't want to be annoying.

It's always annoying, and you could wash a cylinder and destroy the engine, it's happened before.

[akkando]

Originally Posted by tbuck

I guess the point is two fold, it is damaging to your car and it serves no purpose other than to show off. So in effect you will be spending a large amount of money to potentially destroy your engine while announcing to everyone that you are doing so by making your once $70k car no better than a $30k Honda Civic.

Look, I was once 19 as well, long ago though it may be. So I get it, really. But if you want to make a statement you may have picked the wrong car, as these are rather understated cars to begin with, even with all the ///M bling. Not to mention, that aforementioned Civic might be able to leave you in a cloud of dust these days as just about everything has more power than we do. Also, this is mainly an OE+ type forum, so adding some rice to your BMW will generally lead to the need for a flame suit.

Anyway, just an old farts $0.02. Good luck!

It's not that understated. ACM exhaust mod and delete the cats, it's nasty. Or go all in on an IPE f1 exhaust.

[DukeofAlexandria]

Originally Posted by akkando

It's always annoying, and you could wash a cylinder and destroy the engine, it's happened before.

Ohhhh, that's an EXCELLENT point. I didn't even think about washing a cylinder but that is effectively what you're doing when you throw on a 'pop' tune, retard the timing, and then let it bang out late on the downstroke, good catch!

Yet ANOTHER point as to why not to do this kind of crap.

-Duke

[tbuck]

Originally Posted by akkando

It's not that understated. ACM exhaust mod and delete the cats, it's nasty. Or go all in on an IPE f1 exhaust.

I was referring to these cars in general, and BMW specifically, but you are of course correct. You can make the exhaust just as loud and crazy as your local noise ordinance will allow! Mine has the stock mid-section with the MPE v2 axle-back, and while it is not super loud it has a very satisfying growl at WOT.

[Winter.M3]

You guys are right I guess. I've seen backfire on plenty of cars and I had it as a biproduct of bad sparkplugs so I figured it wasn't too bad. Like I know backfire isn't great, but to me it would be worth it to an extent. But. A full straight pipe exhaust will be plenty good enough. Thanks!

[DukeofAlexandria]

Originally Posted by Winter.M3

You guys are right I guess. I've seen backfire on plenty of cars and I had it as a biproduct of bad sparkplugs so I figured it wasn't too bad. Like I know backfire isn't great, but to me it would be worth it to an extent. But. A full straight pipe exhaust will be plenty good enough. Thanks!

It's not about being right, it's about you understanding WHY this isn't the best idea because of the mechanical tolerances of this specific engine. If you don't understand the fundamentals, I'd suggest reading up on the bearing issues and other trouble areas in these cars throughout the forums.

We are MORE than happy to help you understand something, but approaching it with the "it sounds cool dude" attitude without acknowledging the inherent risk issues that backfiring causes is a sure fire way of getting yourself flamed to high heaven hah.

Has the car had the bearings done yet or do you have a service history? Additionally, if you put test pipes, a tune, and a good loud aftermarket exhaust, it will be plenty loud, I promise you.

-Duke

[pbonsalb]

The parents and neighbors might not like the loud exhaust, but that is another matter. My wife and neighbors do not like my loud exhaust.

[Dagamus_NM]

Originally Posted by DukeofAlexandria

It's not about being right, it's about you understanding WHY this isn't the best idea because of the mechanical tolerances of this specific engine. If you don't understand the fundamentals, I'd suggest reading up on the bearing issues and other trouble areas in these cars throughout the forums.

We are MORE than happy to help you understand something, but approaching it with the "it sounds cool dude" attitude without acknowledging the inherent risk issues that backfiring causes is a sure fire way of getting yourself flamed to high heaven hah.

Has the car had the bearings done yet or do you have a service history? Additionally, if you put test pipes, a tune, and a good loud aftermarket exhaust, it will be plenty loud, I promise you.

-Duke

This.

I have test pipes, tune, and modified stock exhaust on mine and it is mellow when cruising without droning and ear splitting loud when it should be. Very fun without sounding like something is wrong with it.

[Winter.M3]

Originally Posted by DukeofAlexandria

It's not about being right, it's about you understanding WHY this isn't the best idea because of the mechanical tolerances of this specific engine. If you don't understand the fundamentals, I'd suggest reading up on the bearing issues and other trouble areas in these cars throughout the forums.

We are MORE than happy to help you understand something, but approaching it with the "it sounds cool dude" attitude without acknowledging the inherent risk issues that backfiring causes is a sure fire way of getting yourself flamed to high heaven hah.

Has the car had the bearings done yet or do you have a service history? Additionally, if you put test pipes, a tune, and a good loud aftermarket exhaust, it will be plenty loud, I promise you.

-Duke

I have bearings done. I know that backpressure isn't good to the valves and head in general. Don't understand it exactly. I'll be fine when I straight pipe it

[Winter.M3]

Originally Posted by pbonsalb

The parents and neighbors might not like the loud exhaust, but that is another matter. My wife and neighbors do not like my loud exhaust.

Haha yeah... I'm getting another car soon so I can park my M3 at my friends house. He doesn't live in an hoa and no one likes him already because of his loud cars. So I'll be alright there. Besides, I do have valvetronic, so it won't be too loud.