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      07-19-2013, 06:15 PM   #331
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Originally Posted by UMBC2015 View Post
Haha, yeah, but at least I won't have to deal with stuff like this. She will hopefully just stay at home and raise our kids. I can deal with the drama desi chicks bring, but not the divorce and cheating crap.
Bro you are in a denial if you think desi chicks don't cheat after marriage. Of course not most of them, but very good percentage of them do. Haha.
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      07-19-2013, 06:17 PM   #332
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To OP, if you are happy now then that is all that matters! Enjoy a 2nd chance at life and may you have sex with countless women.
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      07-19-2013, 06:35 PM   #333
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Originally Posted by UMBC2015 View Post
Yeah, cause most desi dudes are overweight and can't perform well in bed... Hahah stereotyping, ftw.
On the point though! Of-course I find out they were married after the deal has been done. Reason for doing it- they were not happy in bed with their uncle looking husband's. They had to satisfy their hunger. Anyways, back to the OT!
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      07-19-2013, 07:26 PM   #334
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Originally Posted by mylydiamy View Post
Hey everybody,

Quick update :

it has been almost 4 months since my divorce. My X bought the house from me very low price. I knew I was losing tons of money but I wanted my daughter to live at the same place when she was with her mother.

I have been giving her 4K a month and she is enjoying every penny of it: Taking vacations with her new boyfriend, spending more time at the malls than at home...

But at the end, I am a lot happier than I have every been in the last 15 years yes, I had to change my life style because of losing decent part of my income and not buy certain things that otherwise I would have bought. But it is all worth it.

So this is my advice to those whose marriage has no chance to get better : GET OUT OF IT AS SOON AS YOU CAN. THE SOONER THE BETTER!!!!

Good luck all...

Look at it this way...

You said you haven't been this happy in 15 years.
And IMO, happiness is kinda priceless.


So @ $4K a month, I'd say thats totally worth it.
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      07-19-2013, 07:35 PM   #335
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damn brother, i'm glad you are keeping us updated, sorry to hear bout the financial loss but like others said what you lose in fiscal value you are making up for in happiness so enjoy it! if u were local i'd buy you a drink
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      07-19-2013, 08:44 PM   #336
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UMBC2015 View Post
Yeah, cause most desi dudes are overweight and can't perform well in bed... Hahah stereotyping, ftw.
Well as you can see from my user name I am desi and trust me bro, desi girls are notorious cheaters lol! I used to promote for a long time in dc worked in almost every club and it'll open your eyes. No relationship is safe, just have to hope and pray life goes well. And if not, get out like OP.

I am glad you are feeling better!
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      07-19-2013, 09:37 PM   #337
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That's because desi girls are sluts. Plain and simple.
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      07-19-2013, 11:23 PM   #338
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OP, I would have just killed her and buried her in a desert somewhere and reported her missing...fuck paying that bitch! n Glad you're happier now though.
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      07-20-2013, 11:40 AM   #339
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A divorced friend once told me: You know why divorce is so expensive?

Because it's worth it.

Enjoy your new peace of mind!
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      07-20-2013, 01:26 PM   #340
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Originally Posted by ///My5UV
A divorced friend once told me: You know why divorce is so expensive?

Because it's worth it.

Enjoy your new peace of mind!
A friend of mine once told me " Do you know why w h o r e s cost so much these days? because in the end it is cheaper". Some people prefer to shop and cook at home while others prefer to eat out. Some people take their car to the shop to repair or wash while others take pride in repairing it themselves or washing it themselves. Some find doing things themselves to be a headache and hassle while others find it more involving or interesting. There are those that like to carry 20 books and flip each page manually while others who just download 20 books onto their iPad and have a fraction of the weight to carry around (others do not mind the weight). The same goes for CD's. Some do not mind carrying around 1000 CD's while others have everything on one iOuch or iPad etc.. Cooking is the same. You need to buy and prepare 10-20 items to cook one meal while others prefer to go out and eat.
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      07-20-2013, 03:25 PM   #341
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Sad story OP. You learned a lot from it and have grown emotionally and mentally stronger from the outcome I can see.

I read a lot of anecdotes on here from those have have gone through divorce... seems like the recurring theme is that at some point, it was felt that the relationship was unequal and that's when it took a nosedive. Either way, after time, a partner or both partners changed their mindset, outlook, personality, or whatever and the perception and thus the reality of the relationship begun to deteriorate.
Change is inevitable- from both sides. If you can't deal with your own changes or her changes together, chances are divorce will be the likely outcome. I think that both partners need to know themselves well enough and have some decent relationship experience already to even have a chance at a lasting marriage.
It has nothing to do with whether the man pushes his weight around or bosses his lady and reminds her who is "boss". Yes, I believe that there should ultimately be a leader of the household, but that does not mean a dictator- unless you like weak-minded women, in which case the relationship is already doomed. Equal perceived share of responsibilities is necessary... There are various way to determine this and everyone has different ideas of what is equal so I suppose it's important to establish those early on in the relationship and continue to reestablish them as things change down the road.

You guys that have gotten married and divorced sure make it out to seem like hell.. undoubtedly your experience was. But that does not mean that all relationships/marriages are doomed to be. Be smart in your choices, be empathetic in your relationships, and have integrity. Accept no less from your partner. If she ever disrespects you as a man, she is not the one for you.
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      07-20-2013, 04:18 PM   #342
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Congrats!
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      07-20-2013, 04:47 PM   #343
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frryy View Post
Look at it this way...

You said you haven't been this happy in 15 years.
And IMO, happiness is kinda priceless.


So @ $4K a month, I'd say thats totally worth it.
An extra 4k a month could make just about any man pretty happy...
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      07-21-2013, 01:34 AM   #344
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stylinexpat View Post
A friend of mine once told me " Do you know why w h o r e s cost so much these days? because in the end it is cheaper". Some people prefer to shop and cook at home while others prefer to eat out. Some people take their car to the shop to repair or wash while others take pride in repairing it themselves or washing it themselves. Some find doing things themselves to be a headache and hassle while others find it more involving or interesting. There are those that like to carry 20 books and flip each page manually while others who just download 20 books onto their iPad and have a fraction of the weight to carry around (others do not mind the weight). The same goes for CD's. Some do not mind carrying around 1000 CD's while others have everything on one iOuch or iPad etc.. Cooking is the same. You need to buy and prepare 10-20 items to cook one meal while others prefer to go out and eat.
Like WTF? One analogy is enough bro.
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      07-21-2013, 01:38 AM   #345
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To the OP, I've been following this thread for a long time and thanks for the update. I'm happy that you found your freedom even though its at a cost. Money doesn't buy happiness but in this case, $4k does the job quite well. Very happy for you and good luck with the next one if you do plan to settle down again in the future.
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      07-21-2013, 03:46 AM   #346
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mylydiamy View Post
Hey everybody,

Quick update :

it has been almost 4 months since my divorce. My X bought the house from me very low price. I knew I was losing tons of money but I wanted my daughter to live at the same place when she was with her mother.

I have been giving her 4K a month and she is enjoying every penny of it: Taking vacations with her new boyfriend, spending more time at the malls than at home...

But at the end, I am a lot happier than I have every been in the last 15 years yes, I had to change my life style because of losing decent part of my income and not buy certain things that otherwise I would have bought. But it is all worth it.

So this is my advice to those whose marriage has no chance to get better : GET OUT OF IT AS SOON AS YOU CAN. THE SOONER THE BETTER!!!!

Good luck all...
Good to hear OP that makes me sick seeing $4k just gone but glad you are happy! I just started talking with a lawyer about divorce and it is damn rough. I was about to file and my wife broke down an said she would change and do a ton of things different that bugged me so right now we are giving it a month to see what happens.

I guess I would be in better shape then you right now (only married 3 years) so there is only about a 10% chance she would get alimony and she was dead set on having us sell the house (even though after everything is said an done we would probably be negative when the house was sold) and she would try taking the dog. I dont know, I couldnt follow through with it but so far so good. Glad you are happy!
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      07-22-2013, 03:05 PM   #347
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Thank you all for your support and kind words!!!

Life is too short to waste! I realized this after my divorce I feel that I wasted so much time... But I am making sure that I am enjoying every second of it now...

I strongly suggest those who are in a situation that I was in : Do not let money or house or cars whatever to force you stay in a marriage that makes you miserable and has no chance to get better!

Good luck all!
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      07-22-2013, 04:07 PM   #348
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Best of luck op.

I'm happily married but no kids. Never gonna have them plus she makes more money than me so if we get divorced she will have to pay me.

Get yourself a nice whore now.
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      07-22-2013, 04:35 PM   #349
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brunotheboxer View Post
Best of luck op.

I'm happily married but no kids. Never gonna have them plus she makes more money than me so if we get divorced she will have to pay me.

Get yourself a nice whore now.
I try to tell people on this forum that they are doing it wrong.... no one listens. ^^ This is how you do it.
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      07-22-2013, 04:54 PM   #350
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Tonka View Post
I try to tell people on this forum that they are doing it wrong.... no one listens. ^^ This is how you do it.
It's really not rocket science.

Just make sure your girl has at least a masters degree, a strong work ethic, loves to cook, hates kids, loves nice things and is great in the sack.

Plus she's gotta love dogs.
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      07-23-2013, 08:51 AM   #351
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OP, I am glad you are at peace with the situation. I hope you are able to be happy and live your life the way you want to. Enjoy your freedom, sir.
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      07-23-2013, 12:59 PM   #352
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brunotheboxer View Post
It's really not rocket science.

Just make sure your girl has at least a masters degree, a strong work ethic, loves to cook, hates kids, loves nice things and is great in the sack.

Plus she's gotta love dogs.
The problem is, girls like that are few and far between.
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