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      12-19-2013, 01:32 AM   #1
Darkone
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Are you a hypobearinac?

Are you a hypobearinac? Bearing threads, keeping you up at night, do you find yourself listening to every noise your engine generates? Are you convinced that these noises are a symptom of bearing failure? Are you having nightmares and telling visual stories in your head of how you see yourself on a dark, rainy night calling a tow truck holding a broken connecting rod?

Come to our clinic at 500 Bearing lane on the corner of Connecting rod clearance pl and Don't go off warranty rd.

Here we can help you to cope with bearing trauma, fear, phobia and bearing panic attacks.

Our system will lead you through multiple threads on this issue until your sure your car is about to blow up. You will then write and repeat 1000 times a day that you might have bearing problems, until you realize that its okay to have some bearing wear.

At our center we will essentially starve you. However when we do feed you, we will put you in a very tight closet space, with tight pants while someone massages your hairy back. At the same time we will make you drink water and liquid food through really small straws. This way you can feel what your bearings are feeling. You will feel the bearings pain and you will become the bearing. Once you become the bearing, you will no longer fear the bearing.

We will then put you through engine listening drills, for 5 days straight we will wake you up from a peaceful sleep, pull you away from your favorite TV show, and your family and make you listen to your engine, primarily on startup to scare the hell out of you. Then we will show you that the majority of noises you hear are simply your injectors and valve train.

Finally, we put you on a special medication called Budweiser. This will help you to not care anymore, it works, I use it all the time.

Cost for this healing process is only 3,000 dollars. just enough so I can get my bearings changed with your money.

Hulk hate bearings, hulk smash puny bearings

Last edited by Darkone; 12-19-2013 at 09:17 AM.
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      12-19-2013, 01:36 AM   #2
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Disclaimer: This is a useless thread only designed to hopefully make one or two serious people smile.
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      12-19-2013, 01:46 AM   #3
e-solo
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I smirked a bit.
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      12-19-2013, 08:57 AM   #4
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I smiled!
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      12-19-2013, 09:52 AM   #5
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Haha! Funny read, thanks for posting.
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      12-19-2013, 10:10 AM   #6
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      12-19-2013, 10:40 AM   #7
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      12-19-2013, 10:46 AM   #8
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Brilliant. It made me laugh.
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      12-19-2013, 11:52 AM   #9
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how do we sign up?
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Last edited by 1MOREMOD; 12-19-2013 at 11:57 AM.
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      12-19-2013, 11:55 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow Snow View Post
Brilliant. It made me laugh.
I completely agree,

This way you can feel what your bearings are feeling. You will feel the bearings pain and you will become the bearing. Once you become the bearing, you will no longer fear the bearing
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      12-19-2013, 05:32 PM   #11
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I looked up hypobearinac on the National Medical Registry website and did not find anything. I think this might be a scam.
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      12-19-2013, 08:06 PM   #12
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      12-19-2013, 09:31 PM   #13
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Awesome.
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      12-19-2013, 10:32 PM   #14
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are you guys affiliated with Cowbell Noises Inc in any way?
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      12-20-2013, 10:54 AM   #15
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I enjoyed.
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