Whats the craziest thing you heard at work???

[Yapakanichi]

I still remember when a sweet little old lady (70s) that worked here turned to everyone, as we were having a group discussion (slacking off), and said "What is gaping?" I still remember not being able to contain my immediate laughter and yes why the fudgesicle do you want to know?

Apparently the new girl they had hired was very open about her sexuality....loved to talk about it...very awkward times....

but the new girl quit....after sleeping with one of the married guys here and telling homeboy's wife lol. Not worry though, they are still married and working on it.

So yea whats the craziest thing you've heard at your work?

And before anyone is like sex talk at work?!?! Hey I work in construction, it happens.

[ShopVac]

Ordered out for lunch from some place (typical office thing)...when delivered, secretary asked me if I needed a straw for my drink. Stated to her that I don't use them, as no respecful man should ever use a straw.

She commented back how she could never drink without a straw in a restaurant, as the thought of putting a cup up to her lips that someone had on their lips was too repulsive.

Responded by stating how hard it must be for her to eat in restaurants without a fork.

I don't think she has eaten out since.

[King Rudi]

Long before the South Park Jeopardy episode, one of my sales reps was assisting an older black gentleman. He made the comment, "I hate to be that guy that comes in here complaining and ruining your day" clearly flirting with my ditsy yet very attractive red headed female employee, when she replied with, "Yeah, we don't serve naggers in here."

The room became uncomfortably quiet....his flirtatious demeanor ceased. She was clueless at what she said until after he left.....she was mortified.

[zgood4u]

One of the managers of my department asked the dumbest question I've ever heard...."Are Jews Muslim?". The look on a couple of my co-workers was priceless till we could not stop laughing. Her mother must be proud, she was a teacher and probably not a good one.

[someguywithanm3]

Originally Posted by ShopVac

Ordered out for lunch from some place (typical office thing)...when delivered, secretary asked me if I needed a straw for my drink. Stated to her that I don't use them, as no respecful man should ever use a straw.

She commented back how she could never drink without a straw in a restaurant, as the thought of putting a cup up to her lips that someone had on their lips was too repulsive.

Responded by stating how hard it must be for her to eat in restaurants without a fork.

I don't think she has eaten out since.

Bravo! I don't like using straws and I will use the fork analogy.

[Ross61]

At work we were having fun talking about the trunk monkey commercials and how one would be better than an alarm.

One of the guys pops up with how somebody latey has been messing with stuff on his porch when a third person comments "you need to get yourself a porch monkey."

A Dead and Awkward silence befalls us as we wait for HR to magically appear from around the corner.

The guy truly had no clue of the racial connotations of what he said. One of the black guys on the team gently spoke to him and its meaning.

[ShopVac]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Long before the South Park Jeopardy episode, one of my sales reps was assisting an older black gentleman. He made the comment, "I hate to be that guy that comes in here complaining and ruining your day" clearly flirting with my ditsy yet very attractive red headed female employee, when she replied with, "Yeah, we don't serve naggers in here."

The room became uncomfortably quiet....his flirtatious demeanor ceased. She was clueless at what she said until after he left.....she was mortified.

Holy shit - that's a fire-able offense where I come from...like, instant gone, no warning, don't care how you explain it, gone. Actually happened about 4 months back to one of our job site supervisors...and he only used the term "Monica", trying to be cool with some of the site workers. But that's a story for another day.

For reference, it was wheel of fortune, but I know what you meant. Classic

[ASAP]

The whole PC thing is almost sickening... if you say something by accident that's one thing... if you consistently do it and it bothers people; thats different. If you get fired for the former; your company simply doesn't care about you and you shouldn't be there in the first place...

At my former work place, someone sued for so called "discrimation" because she was called blonde, dumb or something along those lines by a boss (I still don't buy this)... guess; what? She was both blonde and dumb and her business decisions made the company lose very large amounts of business / revenue. When I called out her inability to do her job; no one really thought anything of it... so later she took advantage of the situation and fucked everyone. Now; how is this allowed or legal? Simple... PC regulations have screwed over common sense at this point. If only the CEO listened to me earlier... and took care of the problem earlier.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by ShopVac

Holy shit - that's a fire-able offense where I come from...like, instant gone, no warning, don't care how you explain it, gone. Actually happened about 4 months back to one of our job site supervisors...and he only used the term "Monica", trying to be cool with some of the site workers. But that's a story for another day.

For reference, it was wheel of fortune, but I know what you meant. Classic

Shit, you're right. Yeah, none of us even knew what to say. She didn't mean it the way it came out at all but damn it was uncomfortable in there.

[zx10guy]

The IT/networking geeks will appreciate this.

One of my past jobs. I unfortunately had this clueless manager. What's worse is he is a Fed so my hands were tied about the level I could complain about him. Not only was he clueless, he also felt he knew it all which is a very dangerous combination. One day we were setting up a system and troubleshooting it as to why it wasn't working. He had set up the system. When we asked where he got the IP address information from and why he used what he used, he said this...."Subnet mask....subnet masks don't matter...they're not that important." All of us looked at each other in utter amazement. This is the same guy who's idea of properly running a network cable between racks in the data center was to pull the cable out the front of the cabinet into the front of the next cabinet and then smashing said cable by shutting both rack doors on it.

[wrickem]

All the woman in accounting shared file cabinets. They were all complaining about sticky handles. One weird woman was always doing something sneaky at her desk. One day when she was at lunch the other ones went through her desk. In her top drawer was a very used tube of Vagisil! She was putting it on her cootch under her skirt and not washing her hands and schmegging up the cabinet handles!

[zx10guy]

Originally Posted by wrickem

All the woman in accounting shared file cabinets. They were all complaining about sticky handles. One weird woman was always doing something sneaky at her desk. One day when she was at lunch the other ones went through her desk. In her top drawer was a very used tube of Vagisil! She was putting it on her cootch under her skirt and not washing her hands and schmegging up the cabinet handles!

LOL. Reminds me of my first job. I worked at this computer shop. We got tired of the sales people coming into the service shop constantly taking our broom. So one day, I grab the liquid soap from the bathroom and ran a "stream" of said soap down the handle of the broom. Like clockwork, one of the sales guys came into the shop and grabbed the broom. The look on his face was priceless as he had the WTF look. He looked at all of us as to wanting an explanation of why he had this slimy stuff on his hands. We all did a stroking motion with our hands... He stormed out of there pissed. LOL.

[Lups]

I worked in a shoe shop when I was a student.

A young, very attractive man came in and wanted a pair of specific dancing shoes. I found him a pair that I thought was for for his size.

He took his old shoes off, and it was like from a fucking cartoon. His feet were tiny. He was about 6 inches taller than I, but his feet were as tiny as mine. In European sizes women fit to 36-40, men go from 39-48.

I'm pretty tall and I have the shoe size of a teenager still but he wanted MASSIVE shoes. Like 7 numbers too big.

I sat him down and I explained to him that for dancing, he can just fake those. He could either walk along with stuffed shoes, but for dancing, no. He would have to get a new hobby or live with what God has given to him.

He either switched a hobby or a store.

[Sassicaia]

I was working at a large chain of grocery stores stocking shelves while in college. The manager came in and said "new policy from corporate no one is allowed to use the word "ladies" anymore as some find it offensive."

Who's that for PC going to far?

[1MOREMOD]

One of my coworkers was talking to young Asian customer. They must have had a mutual acquaintance because to end the conversation he said rather loudly dont forget to say hi to zipperhead. Myself and few other laughed. He was oblivious and apparently had a white friend named Zimmerman they called zipperhead.