Ten questions for Roastbeef

[Freiheit]

After three years here and reading tens of thousands of posts, two things have become permanently etched in my brain: we really like these cars, and Beef reeeeaaaally likes his cars to lose weight. Keeping that in mind, I've made up this list of questions for our favorite M3 fat-loss guru:


1. Do you cringe when you fill up the tank and see your M3 settle down from the added weight?
2. If you allow passengers, is there an approval process that requires them to shed weight prior to the ride?
3. Do you read the weights on detail products before using them?
4. Would you put off driving your M3 for a few hours if it meant you could poop at least once more?
5. Do you shop in your other vehicles and only use the M3 to return things, so its lighter on the way home?
6. Is the window glass in your M3 really lightweight transparent aluminum?
7. Do you silently damn every bug that dies stuck to that windshield while you add up the grams they add to the car?
8. Have you weight-drilled your battery yet?
9. Is it true that you’ve experimented with your own weight saving carpet spec made up of beard hair and fireplace ash?
10. Are you the one who keeps bothering Alex@Alpine for a “lightweight tune”?

[SYT_Shadow]

awesome list! get in here roastbeef

[DRLane]

@roastbeef Forum is demanding an AMA!

[TNTMYM3]

Rofl, I am such a troll for this post!

[roastbeef]

Originally Posted by Freiheit

After three years here and reading tens of thousands of posts, two things have become permanently etched in my brain: we really like these cars, and Beef reeeeaaaally likes his cars to lose weight. Keeping that in mind, I've made up this list of questions for our favorite M3 fat-loss guru:

some questions have legit answers, so enjoy!

1. Do you cringe when you fill up the tank and see your M3 settle down from the added weight?
i don't cringe from fill-ups, but i get happier as the fuel burns....

2. If you allow passengers, is there an approval process that requires them to shed weight prior to the ride?
there is only one seat for a passenger now, and when i have another person in the car, the losses are negated, so it sadly doesn't matter.

3. Do you read the weights on detail products before using them?
no, but you just made me stop and think about it for a sec.

4. Would you put off driving your M3 for a few hours if it meant you could poop at least once more?
i take a nervous caffeine poop before each track day. the cold of the morning and the chill of the seat while trying not to let my weiner fall in the water helps to get my right-left brain synapses firing together.

5. Do you shop in your other vehicles and only use the M3 to return things, so its lighter on the way home?
i run errands in a 1,900 lb smart car. sadly, the m3 will never be that light.

6. Is the window glass in your M3 really lightweight transparent aluminum?
not yet. https://www.plastics4performance.com...126&model=1917.

Do you silently damn every bug that dies stuck to that windshield while you add up the grams they add to the car?
you're going to make me weigh them...

8. Have you weight-drilled your battery yet?
its already 7lbs, but i suppose i could drill the plastic case. its held in (quite securely, might i add) with a velcro strap i slipped under the tac welded battery tray. the battery is going to eventually be relocated to behind the passenger seat to lower the center of gravity, and move the center of gravity more towards the center of the car, and add lightness though less battery cable.

9. Is it true that you’ve experimented with your own weight saving carpet spec made up of beard hair and fireplace ash?
there won't be much carpet in the car soon.

10. Are you the one who keeps bothering Andy@Alpine for a “lightweight tune”?
he's trying to keep it to himself.

[Freiheit]

Originally Posted by roastbeef

i take a nervous caffeine poop before each track day. the cold of the morning and the chill of the seat while trying not to let my weiner fall in the water helps to get my right-left brain synapses firing together.

That would be a great name for a band.

[Kelse92]

Originally Posted by roastbeef

Do you silently damn every bug that dies stuck to that windshield while you add up the grams they add to the car?
you're going to make me weigh them...

OMG Please do!

[///Mobbin]

roastbeef is so committed to shedding weight that he leaves his keyfob in the paddock while on track.

[GeorgeA]

Originally Posted by roastbeef

some questions have legit answers, so enjoy!


4. Would you put off driving your M3 for a few hours if it meant you could poop at least once more?
i take a nervous caffeine poop before each track day. the cold of the morning and the chill of the seat while trying not to let my weiner fall in the water helps to get my right-left brain synapses firing together.

HAHAAA!!

[DRLane]

Originally Posted by ///Mobbin

roastbeef is so committed to shedding weight that he leaves his keyfob in the paddock while on track.

[IMG]https://f10.5post.com/forums/attachm...8;d=1378530646[/IMG]

We doing "Roastbeef is so anti fatM3" jokes now?

[Freiheit]

Originally Posted by DRLane

We doing "Roastbeef is so anti fatM3" jokes now?

Roastbeef is so anti-fatM3, he buffs his car every day with a coarse pad to shave paint weight

[wyatth]

Hilarious!!

@RB, what's your wet weight down to now?

[roastbeef]

Originally Posted by wyatth

Hilarious!!

@RB, what's your wet weight down to now?

No idea, she's never been on scales. It's still porky though, I still have speakers and oem front seats. I'll hassle my mechanic to break the scales out next time I'm in for an oil change.

[shimmy23]

I heard he's contemplating attending his next track day naked. Who's going with me?!!:

[roastbeef]

.

[b4hand]

I think we need a "beefspec" for building any car

beefspec - "Yeah you can get TI bolts for that"

[RedScytheM3]

Originally Posted by roastbeef

some questions have legit answers, so enjoy!

1. Do you cringe when you fill up the tank and see your M3 settle down from the added weight?
i don't cringe from fill-ups, but i get happier as the fuel burns....

2. If you allow passengers, is there an approval process that requires them to shed weight prior to the ride?
there is only one seat for a passenger now, and when i have another person in the car, the losses are negated, so it sadly doesn't matter.

3. Do you read the weights on detail products before using them?
no, but you just made me stop and think about it for a sec.

4. Would you put off driving your M3 for a few hours if it meant you could poop at least once more?
i take a nervous caffeine poop before each track day. the cold of the morning and the chill of the seat while trying not to let my weiner fall in the water helps to get my right-left brain synapses firing together.

5. Do you shop in your other vehicles and only use the M3 to return things, so its lighter on the way home?
i run errands in a 1,900 lb smart car. sadly, the m3 will never be that light.

6. Is the window glass in your M3 really lightweight transparent aluminum?
not yet. https://www.plastics4performance.com...#38;model=1917.

Do you silently damn every bug that dies stuck to that windshield while you add up the grams they add to the car?
you're going to make me weigh them...

8. Have you weight-drilled your battery yet?
its already 7lbs, but i suppose i could drill the plastic case. its held in (quite securely, might i add) with a velcro strap i slipped under the tac welded battery tray. the battery is going to eventually be relocated to behind the passenger seat to lower the center of gravity, and move the center of gravity more towards the center of the car, and add lightness though less battery cable.

9. Is it true that you've experimented with your own weight saving carpet spec made up of beard hair and fireplace ash?
there won't be much carpet in the car soon.

10. Are you the one who keeps bothering Andy@Alpine for a "lightweight tune"?
he's trying to keep it to himself.

RB: Hmmm should I add another coat of wax?
RB: Naah, too much weight.
RB: ...
RB: *strips all the wax off the car*



Also, the nervous caffeine poop killed me. I'm terrified of my weiner taking a dip

[Redd]

Thread of the month! 😂

[DRLane]

Originally Posted by Redd

Thread of the month! 😂

Yeah, I hope this makes the front page. Or at least gets a sticky!

It's comforting to know we all together in our caffeinated track poops.

[roastbeef]

Some say he gets a haircut and shaves his body before a track day...

[Freiheit]

... and there are others who say he has his track suit and shoes tattooed on his body so he can save clothing weight.

[6ixSpd]

This is a M3 Post HoF thread.