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      10-23-2018, 11:50 AM   #1277
Never_Enough
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Helluva confession.
Just wait till that shifter slides inside you. Wait...
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      10-23-2018, 01:44 PM   #1278
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My one-word confession: Nicorette (or generic equivalent).

It's been 22 years since my 6-year-old son caught me sneaking a cig with a neighbor, started crying, and said, "Daddy, don't die!" It was a serious guilt trip, since then assuaged by the gum.

Tobacco in all its forms is the only drug I haven't been able to quit. I did indeed look like my George Carlin avatar at one time. According to my MD neighbor, nicotine gum has few harmful long-term effects. Of course, he was the guy who gave me the cig.
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      10-23-2018, 03:49 PM   #1279
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There's a 45 yr old virgin that I work with that's showing interest in me. And when I say 45yr old virgin I mean that this person has never even romantically shared a bed with someone else. I visited the home and it's like a museum for Star Wars.

Now I'm not LOOSE but when I've been with someone we've fkd until the cows came home...like THOUSANDS of times...literally.
Day, night, gas stations, off road trails when we were off roading in my SUV, behind apartments, the house next door when it was empty...no lube. I get it in when it needs to be GOTTEN!

I've been on a dry spell but this one is different. How TF do ya deal with a virgin at 45yrs old? I like Love and all that but as I rapidly approach 40 I can GUARANTEE that I'm not gna stick around and hearts are sure to be broken the next time a tall skinny Latin or Arab says "what's up".

We're friends and all but I know ME!
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      10-23-2018, 04:10 PM   #1280
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I declined having my home cleaned by very attractive lady. She offered to clean my entire home for $80....wearing next to nothing.

Although $80 for maid service to be done twice a month equating to $160/month is a steal, I have to say that if I found out the girlfriend was having her home cleaned by a stripper I would be less than pleased; so I declined.

In the event that the girlfriend and I breakup, let's just say that my amount of domesticated cleaning duties will be drastically reduced.
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Originally Posted by Never_Enough View Post
Does this lady have a site for her business or perhaps a branch in PA?
same question but for FL
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      10-23-2018, 04:14 PM   #1281
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth One View Post
same question but for FL
If you could only see this girl....

If she had the money to branch out, find attractive women like herself to do this in major cities and allow me to market her business, it would grow quickly.
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      10-23-2018, 04:34 PM   #1282
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Not_Judy View Post
If you could only see this girl....

If she had the money to branch out, find attractive women like herself to do this in major cities and allow me to market her business, it would grow quickly.
If I come visit would she clean my hotel room?
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      10-23-2018, 04:35 PM   #1283
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dinonz View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Not_Judy View Post
If you could only see this girl....

If she had the money to branch out, find attractive women like herself to do this in major cities and allow me to market her business, it would grow quickly.
If I come visit would she clean my hotel room?
We could find out!
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      10-24-2018, 08:22 AM   #1284
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sharts. they're normal and not uncommon, right? all responsible adults do get them at one point or another, yes?

hypothetically, one should feel lucky that he experienced it in the comfort of his own home, sitting next to his wife watching Iron Fist? as opposed to somewhere more public and more inconvenient.

asking for a friend.
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      10-24-2018, 08:48 AM   #1285
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyngofpop View Post
There's a 45 yr old virgin that I work with that's showing interest in me. And when I say 45yr old virgin I mean that this person has never even romantically shared a bed with someone else. I visited the home and it's like a museum for Star Wars.

Now I'm not LOOSE but when I've been with someone we've fkd until the cows came home...like THOUSANDS of times...literally.
Day, night, gas stations, off road trails when we were off roading in my SUV, behind apartments, the house next door when it was empty...no lube. I get it in when it needs to be GOTTEN!

I've been on a dry spell but this one is different. How TF do ya deal with a virgin at 45yrs old? I like Love and all that but as I rapidly approach 40 I can GUARANTEE that I'm not gna stick around and hearts are sure to be broken the next time a tall skinny Latin or Arab says "what's up".

We're friends and all but I know ME!
I somehow missed this post. There are few times that I am at a loss of words. I'd like to know more about this situation. Without knowing anything of the guy I would stay far away from that. You can't possibly expect it to be worth him fumbling around to figure it out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth One View Post
sharts. they're normal and not uncommon, right? all responsible adults do get them at one point or another, yes?

hypothetically, one should feel lucky that he experienced it in the comfort of his own home, sitting next to his wife watching Iron Fist? as opposed to somewhere more public and more inconvenient.

asking for a friend.
I trust no man or woman who can't honestly admit to shitting their pants as an adult. These are also the people that say they have never masturbated, avoid these people at all costs.

Happened to me while working at a car lot a few years back....middle of the lot, I had on light khaki dress pants....it was no secret as to what happened to anyone within view. I walked straight to my car, called my boss explained what happened and that I was going home to change. Oddly enough, he told no one, which was cool of him. We actually joked about it when I got back to work. It's somewhat of a rite of passage for old men.
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      10-24-2018, 09:03 AM   #1286
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Not_Judy View Post
These are also the people that say they have never masturbated, avoid these people at all costs.
May have to put this quote in my signature!!
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Last edited by kscarrol; 10-24-2018 at 02:47 PM.
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      10-24-2018, 11:23 AM   #1287
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I haven't sharted since I quit putting Vick's on the Maglite I was shoving in my butthole back in high school.
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      10-24-2018, 11:28 AM   #1288
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UncleWede View Post
I haven't sharted since I quit putting Vick's on the Maglite I was shoving in my butthole back in high school.
Now there's a signature worthy quote
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      10-24-2018, 11:30 AM   #1289
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I cannot eat a banana without first removing ALL those strings on its side.

And eating it without the peel is a little messier but makes it taste better.
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      10-24-2018, 11:34 AM   #1290
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OnerDriver View Post
I cannot eat a banana without first removing ALL those strings on its side.

And eating it without the peel is a little messier but makes it taste better.
That would be almost as bad as eating the booger without first removing the hairs <shudders>
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      10-24-2018, 12:01 PM   #1291
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UncleWede View Post
I haven't sharted since I quit putting Vick's on the Maglite I was shoving in my butthole back in high school.
starting early today?
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      10-24-2018, 12:53 PM   #1292
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starting early today?
Caf-Fiend Day, 2 cups of leaded
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      10-24-2018, 01:13 PM   #1293
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth One View Post
sharts. they're normal and not uncommon, right? all responsible adults do get them at one point or another, yes?

hypothetically, one should feel lucky that he experienced it in the comfort of his own home, sitting next to his wife watching Iron Fist? as opposed to somewhere more public and more inconvenient.

asking for a friend.
We've all sharted. My IBS loves to fuck with me
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      10-24-2018, 01:15 PM   #1294
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I've had this forum open on my second monitor all day at work today.




I did manage to get everything done I needed to though, and a bit more.
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      10-24-2018, 01:19 PM   #1295
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i do miss the days of having pagers/beepers lol
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      10-24-2018, 01:31 PM   #1296
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i do miss the days of having pagers/beepers lol
ban
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      10-24-2018, 01:31 PM   #1297
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^This is designated a safe space

BAN
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      10-24-2018, 01:32 PM   #1298
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^ Bringing liberal terminology to a cisgender forum.

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