Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

We've all been there at least once man. Everybody has that one that just completely ripped their heart out through their knee caps.

We all have, but don't be afraid to love completely. Life is too short to be afraid. We all get hurt, but being emotionally unavailable is also just as damaging to yourself and relationships.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

We all have, but don't be afraid to love completely. Life is too short to be afraid. We all get hurt, but being emotionally unavailable is also just as damaging to yourself and relationships.

I agree and i think its only fair that person your with deserve a chance to be love without holding back. What happen in the past, should stay in past but never forget. True happiness comes when you let all that go, allow yourself to fall in love, and be loved without fear. Living life with fear of being heart broken, or in general will only set you back.

ok im finish, gotta do some work

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

We all have, but don't be afraid to love completely. Life is too short to be afraid. We all get hurt, but being emotionally unavailable is also just as damaging to yourself and relationships.

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

I agree and i think its only fair that person your with deserve a chance to be love without holding back. What happen in the past, should stay in past but never forget. True happiness comes when you let all that go, allow yourself to fall in love, and be loved without fear. Living life with fear of being heart broken, or in general will only set you back.

ok im finish, gotta do some work

I wouldn't say that I am afraid or that I do not love her completely. What happened in the past has only allowed me to love her in a more healthy way. I have let the past go from an emotional standpoint, but I will not forget what it did to me. I do very much love the girlfriend and I love her without fear. In the event that something happens to our relationship, it most definitely will hurt when it ends; however, I will never allow myself to get so fully wrapped up in someone again, that it almost destroys me. Loving someone else is great, but loving yourself enough to have some self preservation is much more important.

Think of it this way. If you care so much about everyone around you, that you are constantly filling everyone else's glass before you fill your own; at the end of the day, everyone else has a full glass but you. I've learned to fill my glass first, then fill theirs with the overflow of my glass. Their glass is full, but mine isn't empty in the process.

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

Think of it this way. If you care so much about everyone around you, that you are constantly filling everyone else's glass before you fill your own; at the end of the day, everyone else has a full glass but you. I've learned to fill my glass first, then fill theirs with the overflow of my glass. Their glass is full, but mine isn't empty in the process.

You need to put your own wants and needs before someone else's. And that is not being selfish. I am considerate to a fault. For so long I worried about what leaving and the divorce would do to him, and by doing so made myself a wreck. Your well being always needs to come first.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

I wouldn't say that I am afraid or that I do not love her completely. What happened in the past has only allowed me to love her in a more healthy way. I have let the past go from an emotional standpoint, but I will not forget what it did to me. I do very much love the girlfriend and I love her without fear. In the event that something happens to our relationship, it most definitely hurt when it ends; however, I will never allow myself to get so fully wrapped up in someone again that it almost destroys me. Loving someone else is great, but loving yourself enough to have some self preservation is much more important.

Think of it this way. If you care so much about everyone around you, that you are constantly filling everyone else's glass before you fill your own; at the end of the day, everyone else has a full glass but you. I've learned to fill my glass first, then fill theirs with the overflow of my glass. Their glass is full, but mine isn't empty in the process[/COLOR].

oh i definitely understand what you mean. I have to admit I did this with my immediate family but thats whole different thread lol
i stop being the waiter.

[Kelse92]

Originally Posted by Dang3r

Whadd'ya mean with extremely independent? Some men want to keep her funnier looking half everytime around them, for what reasons ever, my personal nightmare. I like independent women very much because they would never give me the feeling to surround me too much and they're be able to go their own way in between a relationship. Most important for me is the fact that at all differences at least that the scissor is narrowing at the end so to speak.
It may sound a bit too wise but as a young man I'd looked at girls to get with the most matches in hobbies etc., now as very older I admit that the lowest sum of potential angers are the aim of a really good relationship.
Time is too short to waste it with constant troubles into my private life.

Lol you’re definitely outside the norm that I’m used to! But maybe it’s a product of my living in the south?? I feel like the culture is much different here than if I were to live in NYC, Chicago, or LA
And I agree the hobby thing can go either way. It can go fantastic where it something you enjoy doing together, and it can also go very sideways and result in resentment as well. Fine line to walk on there.

[Rmtt]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

oh i definitely understand what you mean. I have to admit I did this with my immediate family but thats whole different thread lol
i stop being the waiter.

I had to go through this same issue as well. Of course I ended up looking like the bad guy and was shunned for awhile....but the next time they needed something which wasn't to long afterwards...they were calling me again.

[MKSixer]

Here is my situation. Been dating a Brazilian girl...former model. Very nice, 5-10 with all the parts in the right place and right ratios. We have a great time out and I am enjoying spending time with her. I've been to her place in Houston and she's been to mine here in South Louisiana. She's met my 2 best friends and my brother and inadvertently met my dad while we were on the way to watch the German GP at the casino.

Everything is good but not the spark I'm looking for.

A while back I was dating someone whom I'll just call, the Bikini Model. We broke up because her daughter couldn't handle her dating someone that wasn't in their race. I told her to handle it and reach out to me when she did. Well...she handled it. She reached out to me about 2 weeks ago and brought me up to speed. I put her off for about 10 or 12 days and met her for a quick drink.

SPARKS. Fireworks!!

What shall I do?!?!

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Here is my situation. Been dating a Brazilian girl...former model. Very nice, 5-10 with all the parts in the right place and right ratios. We have a great time out and I am enjoying spending time with her. I've been to her place in Houston and she's been to mine here in South Louisiana. She's met my 2 best friends and my brother and inadvertently met my dad while we were on the way to watch the German GP at the casino.

Everything is good but not the spark I'm looking for.

A while back I was dating someone whom I'll just call, the Bikini Model. We broke up because her daughter couldn't handle her dating someone that wasn't in their race. I told her to handle it and reach out to me when she did. Well...she handled it. She reached out to me about 2 weeks ago and brought me up to speed. I put her off for about 10 or 12 days and met her for a quick drink.

SPARKS. Fireworks!!

What shall I do?!?!

In situations like this someone will get hurt, it cant be avoided.
Honesty is best policy, cut ties with brazilian and follow the spark.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Here is my situation. Been dating a Brazilian girl...former model. Very nice, 5-10 with all the parts in the right place and right ratios. We have a great time out and I am enjoying spending time with her. I've been to her place in Houston and she's been to mine here in South Louisiana. She's met my 2 best friends and my brother and inadvertently met my dad while we were on the way to watch the German GP at the casino.

Everything is good but not the spark I'm looking for.

A while back I was dating someone whom I'll just call, the Bikini Model. We broke up because her daughter couldn't handle her dating someone that wasn't in their race. I told her to handle it and reach out to me when she did. Well...she handled it. She reached out to me about 2 weeks ago and brought me up to speed. I put her off for about 10 or 12 days and met her for a quick drink.

SPARKS. Fireworks!!

What shall I do?!?!

Sir, you already know what to do. Now on to the difficult part, putting it in motion. We already share a brain so I feel like no explanation is required here.

After careful consideration....I shall revise my response. Introduce the two of them....again, I feel further elaboration is not needed.

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Here is my situation. Been dating a Brazilian girl...former model. Very nice, 5-10 with all the parts in the right place and right ratios. We have a great time out and I am enjoying spending time with her. I've been to her place in Houston and she's been to mine here in South Louisiana. She's met my 2 best friends and my brother and inadvertently met my dad while we were on the way to watch the German GP at the casino.

Everything is good but not the spark I'm looking for.

A while back I was dating someone whom I'll just call, the Bikini Model. We broke up because her daughter couldn't handle her dating someone that wasn't in their race. I told her to handle it and reach out to me when she did. Well...she handled it. She reached out to me about 2 weeks ago and brought me up to speed. I put her off for about 10 or 12 days and met her for a quick drink.

SPARKS. Fireworks!!

What shall I do?!?!

I don't know. Depends on what you mean by not the spark you're looking for. No spark, or not enough spark? If there is no spark, you have your answer. Is she boring and you have nothing in common but she has a hot bod? Or is she just not as exciting bikini model?

Sometimes SPARKS and fireworks are crazy bastards and you get burnt.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Here is my situation. Been dating a Brazilian girl...former model. Very nice, 5-10 with all the parts in the right place and right ratios. We have a great time out and I am enjoying spending time with her. I've been to her place in Houston and she's been to mine here in South Louisiana. She's met my 2 best friends and my brother and inadvertently met my dad while we were on the way to watch the German GP at the casino.

Everything is good but not the spark I'm looking for.

A while back I was dating someone whom I'll just call, the Bikini Model. We broke up because her daughter couldn't handle her dating someone that wasn't in their race. I told her to handle it and reach out to me when she did. Well...she handled it. She reached out to me about 2 weeks ago and brought me up to speed. I put her off for about 10 or 12 days and met her for a quick drink.

SPARKS. Fireworks!!

What shall I do?!?!

I'll share something my performance coach told me when I asked him whether I should go into industry (which I was curious about) or just go out on my own (which is where I thought I'd end up).

He said, why would you go from point A, to point B, to point C, if you ultimately want to end up at C and you don't have to travel to point B to get to point C.

Framed to your question - why waste time on Brazilian if you are ultimately most interested in the former flame and will likely land there because the Brazilian isn't causing that spark?

You are risking that she'll get into a relationship with someone else if you wait.

Guess depends a little on the spark though - is it just short term lust or is there something deep you could easily see there.


Edit: If it helps at all, I totally ignored my performance coach and went into industry and sure enough, wound up resigning and working for myself. I learned. LOL

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Here is my situation. Been dating a Brazilian girl...former model. Very nice, 5-10 with all the parts in the right place and right ratios. We have a great time out and I am enjoying spending time with her. I've been to her place in Houston and she's been to mine here in South Louisiana. She's met my 2 best friends and my brother and inadvertently met my dad while we were on the way to watch the German GP at the casino.

Everything is good but not the spark I'm looking for.

A while back I was dating someone whom I'll just call, the Bikini Model. We broke up because her daughter couldn't handle her dating someone that wasn't in their race. I told her to handle it and reach out to me when she did. Well...she handled it. She reached out to me about 2 weeks ago and brought me up to speed. I put her off for about 10 or 12 days and met her for a quick drink.

SPARKS. Fireworks!!

What shall I do?!?!

of daughter

Seriously though, can you confirm daughter is ok with this? Have you met BM's extended family? Is that an uphill battle that you want to take on at this point in life? Ask the head on your shoulders

[Rmtt]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

I'll share something my performance coach told me when I asked him whether I should go into industry (which I was curious about) or just go out on my own (which is where I thought I'd end up).

He said, why would you go from point A, to point B, to point C, if you ultimately want to end up at C and you don't have to travel to point B to get to point C.

Framed to your question - why waste time on Brazilian if you are ultimately most interested in the former flame and will likely land there because the Brazilian isn't causing that spark?

You are risking that she'll get into a relationship with someone else if you wait.

Guess depends a little on the spark though - is it just short term lust or is there something deep you could easily see there.


Edit: If it helps at all, I totally ignored my performance coach and went into industry and sure enough, wound up resigning and working for myself. I learned. LOL

+1. What kind of spark depending on where you want it to head. Plus the daughter won't always be in the house and she can learn to change if she see her Mom happy.

Life is just to short to settle and be content....and then be left with wondering "what if"?

I can relate. Not trying to sound boastful....but I have dated quite a few "10's" in my time. All it did was confirm to me that looks really aren't everything although I did all I could to disprove that theory!

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

In situations like this someone will get hurt, it cant be avoided.
Honesty is best policy, cut ties with brazilian and follow the spark.

I know. I have been struggling with this.

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

Sir, you already know what to do. Now on to the difficult part, putting it in motion. We already share a brain so I feel like no explanation is required here.

After careful consideration....I shall revise my response. Introduce the two of them....again, I feel further elaboration is not needed.

See above. On the edit: Don't think it didn't cross my mind!!

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

I don't know. Depends on what you mean by not the spark you're looking for. No spark, or not enough spark? If there is no spark, you have your answer. Is she boring and you have nothing in common but she has a hot bod? Or is she just not as exciting bikini model?

Sometimes SPARKS and fireworks are crazy bastards and you get burnt.

The Brazilian isn't as sophisticated as I'm accustomed to which has been a learning experience for me. For instance...cuff links. We were behind schedule for dinner and I grabbed mine and we jumped into the car. I asked her to assist me while I was driving and she looked at me completely lost. No one in her family or anyone she's dated or been married to ever wore cuff links. I taught her how to use them and she was all smiles after that. It was cute.

Originally Posted by Joekerr

I'll share something my performance coach told me when I asked him whether I should go into industry (which I was curious about) or just go out on my own (which is where I thought I'd end up).

He said, why would you go from point A, to point B, to point C, if you ultimately want to end up at C and you don't have to travel to point B to get to point C.

Framed to your question - why waste time on Brazilian if you are ultimately most interested in the former flame and will likely land there because the Brazilian isn't causing that spark?

You are risking that she'll get into a relationship with someone else if you wait.

Guess depends a little on the spark though - is it just short term lust or is there something deep you could easily see there.


Edit: If it helps at all, I totally ignored my performance coach and went into industry and sure enough, wound up resigning and working for myself. I learned. LOL

Jeeze...you're scaring the F out of me because that is nearly the same advice my dad gave me when I was struggling to figure out what I wanted to do in life.

Originally Posted by UncleWede

of daughter

Seriously though, can you confirm daughter is ok with this? Have you met BM's extended family? Is that an uphill battle that you want to take on at this point in life? Ask the head on your shoulders

I have met a close friend and the daughters know about me. We are at 2 months which I consider fish or cut bait time.

Originally Posted by Rmtt

+1. What kind of spark depending on where you want it to head. Plus the daughter won't always be in the house and she can learn to change if she see her Mom happy.

Life is just to short to settle and be content....and then be left with wondering "what if"?

I can relate. Not trying to sound boastful....but I have dated quite a few "10's" in my time. All it did was confirm to me that looks really aren't everything although I did all I could to disprove that theory!

I'm looking for permanence. Dating sucks.
The daughter is out of the house and has her own pad. This is why she reached out to me. Ironically, I was with my atty about a week before she reached out and he asked about her because we all attended the 4th of July celebration in 2018 together. He said that it was the happiest he's ever seen me as had my car buddies also shared. I think I'm getting closer to my answer.

On dating...go big or go home. Always 9s and 10s keeping in mind that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I can be childishly sophomoric on this. I have always been attracted to beautiful women that many would consider unobtainable but I have always done well. Nothing a rakish smile and a devil-may-care attitude can't accomplish!

Thanks for the input. Even you UncleWede

[Dang3r]

Originally Posted by Kelse92

Lol you’re definitely outside the norm that I’m used to! But maybe it’s a product of my living in the south?? I feel like the culture is much different here than if I were to live in NYC, Chicago, or LA
And I agree the hobby thing can go either way. It can go fantastic where it something you enjoy doing together, and it can also go very sideways and result in resentment as well. Fine line to walk on there.

Im the more outta your norm because I live overseas in Germany, here most habits are differing from your traditional known ways
Hobbies could be shared if present at both partners but its also be good to have some space left for own belongings and needs. I couldn't stand it to got drowned with love and care.
Last year during my 3 week holiday at the west coast I got lots of opportunities to talk to private people by using Air BnB, best livetime experience so far, met them in their own environment and they feel comfortable and free to talk their personal way. That was a new approach aside of the sometimes encountered superficial chats.
But it had never led to closer friendships, I think that was way too keen for both nations

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by Kelse92

It might hurt for a bit, but I bet with a little time she’ll reach back out, cause it’s not that she’s not thinking about you, she just needs to do it on her own terms.

very helpful insight, thank you.

[adc100]

Last time I dated was 1966. That was OK. Dumped her when she got to serious. One before that..I dated once..she didn't care for me. One date and that was that. Good thing she was about a 5 out of 10.

One before that I dated 3 years. She dumped me..never forgot her. We are on speaking terms now..long distance.

Wound up marrying the last one...seven months after our first date. Still married to her.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by adc100

Last time I dated was 1966. That was OK. Dumped her when she got to serious. One before that..I dated once..she didn't care for me. One date and that was that. Good thing she was about a 5 out of 10.

One before that I dated 3 years. She dumped me..never forgot her. We are on speaking terms now..long distance.

Wound up marrying the last one...seven months after our first date. Still married to her.

So you married the one you dated in 1966 that was "ok?"

The dating was just "ok" but you've been married for 53 years? My hat's off to both of you. It takes a lot to keep a marriage going; especially for that long.

[RnmEvo9]

LOL this thread is further reassurance of why I will never set foot in an altar.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by RnmEvo9

LOL this thread is further reassurance of why I will never set foot in an altar.

Lords work has been done in these 200+ pages. I feel like this thread should be required reading for all males 18-30......and for the women who truly want to understand the male perspective on dating, women and life in general.

[Dang3r]

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

Lords work has been done in these 200+ pages.

Don't blame it onto a fantasy figure when real mishaps and mistakes are got taken, my friend.