BMW M3 Forum (E90 E92)

BMW Garage BMW Meets Register Today's Posts


Go Back   M3Post - BMW M3 Forum > BIMMERPOST Universal Forums > Off-Topic Discussions Board
 
BPM
Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      09-23-2016, 05:59 AM   #39535
jtodd_fl
2nd Asst to Dept Undersecretary
jtodd_fl's Avatar
6707
Rep
1,298
Posts

Drives: People crazy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Florida

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2015 F82 M4  [9.00]
2016 F87 M2  [0.00]
2011 E92 M3  [0.00]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Axius
Quote:
Originally Posted by Biorin View Post
And even the not close OT friends, so that we can be drunk and obnoxious and fuck shit up.
OOoooooo I love car friend weddings! When I went to my friends in MI I took pics with the bartender in the photobooth and somehow ripped the seam down the middle of my favorite CK slacks.


Gotta do weddings hard, cha mean?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jtodd_fl View Post
Well. It's not an IT nerd with BO. It's some 300 lb dude who smells like a urinal cake. Wtf is that smell? Literal "eau de toilet"?
Flight 101: Ear buds for music, crown royal shooters, rubber band and paper clips to shoot at people, ( 2 ) black ice little trees for the stinkys.
Now you tell me. I only had the earbuds. Missed the good stuff.
__________________
This space for rent.
Appreciate 1
MKSixer34102.00
      09-23-2016, 06:05 AM   #39536
Axius
Banned
Seychelles
4199
Rep
216
Posts

Drives: 612 Scaglietti
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Watch Me NayNay

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by jtodd_fl View Post
Now you tell me. I only had the earbuds. Missed the good stuff.
Keep that list for future reference. Flying sucks, so have to be prepared. Smelly Indian made me keep a little tree in the carry on. Shooters because who doesn't like drinking on a plane. Earbuds because fuck children. Hustler because it makes the person next to you really uncomfortable (but you're only reading it for the articles anyways).
Appreciate 1
MKSixer34102.00
      09-23-2016, 06:10 AM   #39537
jtodd_fl
2nd Asst to Dept Undersecretary
jtodd_fl's Avatar
6707
Rep
1,298
Posts

Drives: People crazy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Florida

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2015 F82 M4  [9.00]
2016 F87 M2  [0.00]
2011 E92 M3  [0.00]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Axius
Quote:
Originally Posted by jtodd_fl View Post
Now you tell me. I only had the earbuds. Missed the good stuff.
Keep that list for future reference. Flying sucks, so have to be prepared. Smelly Indian made me keep a little tree in the carry on. Shooters because who doesn't like drinking on a plane. Earbuds because fuck children. Hustler because it makes the person next to you really uncomfortable (but you're only reading it for the articles anyways).
See, you were holding out on me. Hustler eh? Do you put a little blanket over your lap and keep a hand on there just to increase your neighbor's anxiety level?
__________________
This space for rent.
Appreciate 1
MKSixer34102.00
      09-23-2016, 06:43 AM   #39538
Axius
Banned
Seychelles
4199
Rep
216
Posts

Drives: 612 Scaglietti
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Watch Me NayNay

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by jtodd_fl View Post
See, you were holding out on me. Hustler eh? Do you put a little blanket over your lap and keep a hand on there just to increase your neighbor's anxiety level?
Well, it's mostly on the lap because those little air blaster things can get chilly (yes, well aware they are able to be closed).

Feeling adventurous? Use your shakeweight under the blanket so you can work out on the plane while reading your favorite magazine. Feeling classy? Change that Hustler to High Society!
Appreciate 1
MKSixer34102.00
      09-23-2016, 06:54 AM   #39539
nyalpine90
Lieutenant General
nyalpine90's Avatar
7418
Rep
11,885
Posts

Drives: MY24 G01 AW Msport
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: L.I. NY

iTrader: (4)

Garage List
2016 BMW X4  [9.33]
TGIF
Appreciate 0
      09-23-2016, 07:22 AM   #39540
jtodd_fl
2nd Asst to Dept Undersecretary
jtodd_fl's Avatar
6707
Rep
1,298
Posts

Drives: People crazy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Florida

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2015 F82 M4  [9.00]
2016 F87 M2  [0.00]
2011 E92 M3  [0.00]
God, listening to two dudes play one-upsmanship on places they've visited is so fucking boring. Blah blah blah. No
One cares. /rant
__________________
This space for rent.
Appreciate 2
bimmette6432.50
Aatish3471.00
      09-23-2016, 07:36 AM   #39541
MKSixer
Lieutenant General
MKSixer's Avatar
34102
Rep
11,637
Posts

Drives: 2015 BMW i8, E63 M6, 328d
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Southeast United States

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2016 M4 GTS (Allotted)  [0.00]
2013 BMW 328d  [0.00]
2007 BMW M6  [10.00]
2015 BMW i8  [10.00]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Axius View Post
OOoooooo I love car friend weddings! When I went to my friends in MI I took pics with the bartender in the photobooth and somehow ripped the seam down the middle of my favorite CK slacks.


Gotta do weddings hard, cha mean?



Flight 101: Ear buds for music, crown royal shooters, rubber band and paper clips to shoot at people, ( 2 ) black ice little trees for the stinkys.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jtodd_fl View Post
Now you tell me. I only had the earbuds. Missed the good stuff.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Axius View Post
Keep that list for future reference. Flying sucks, so have to be prepared. Smelly Indian made me keep a little tree in the carry on. Shooters because who doesn't like drinking on a plane. Earbuds because fuck children. Hustler because it makes the person next to you really uncomfortable (but you're only reading it for the articles anyways).
Quote:
Originally Posted by jtodd_fl View Post
See, you were holding out on me. Hustler eh? Do you put a little blanket over your lap and keep a hand on there just to increase your neighbor's anxiety level?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Axius View Post
Well, it's mostly on the lap because those little air blaster things can get chilly (yes, well aware they are able to be closed).

Feeling adventurous? Use your shakeweight under the blanket so you can work out on the plane while reading your favorite magazine. Feeling classy? Change that Hustler to High Society!
Quote:
Originally Posted by jtodd_fl View Post
God, listening to two dudes play one-upsmanship on places they've visited is so fucking boring. Blah blah blah. No
One cares. /rant
Amateurs.

I've seen them stagger on the plane at MSY still clutching the empty Hurricane glass and wearing the same clothes I'm certain they arrived in while dry heaving.

Here's what you need:
1. Gallon-sized zip lock bags. Some $h1t may come your way.
2. 2 1 foot nylon zip ties. (Listen, asshole...keep your freaking elbows on your side of the flip up arm rest or I'll lash your wrists together.
3. Lysol minis. (Spray dem fuq'rs down.)
4. Bluetooth speaker. Someone talking too loudly, connect and broadcast. I highly recommend the Beats pill. Their headphones suk but the pill is great!
5. Another Lysol mini. (More stinky's just boarded)
6. Battery powered fan. (Blow the lysol at the stinky's)
7. Baby wipes.

If you can think of anything else, please add to the list.







Just kidding. I don't need any of this crap because I only fly 1st class. Sorry.
__________________
Several actors have played James Bond, Sean Connery IS James Bond...
Sir 7ewis, 7X FIA Formula One World Championship, World Driving Champion. 100 Wins. 101 Pole Positions. 54 Fastest Laps. Actual Rain Master. Leave me to it, Bono. One Race Win in each of his 15 years in F1. Most Laps Led in Formula One. The Centurion.
Appreciate 1
Axius4199.00
      09-23-2016, 08:07 AM   #39542
Axius
Banned
Seychelles
4199
Rep
216
Posts

Drives: 612 Scaglietti
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Watch Me NayNay

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by MKSixer View Post
Amateurs.

I've seen them stagger on the plane at MSY still clutching the empty Hurricane glass and wearing the same clothes I'm certain they arrived in while dry heaving.

Here's what you need:
1. Gallon-sized zip lock bags. Some $h1t may come your way.
2. 2 1 foot nylon zip ties. (Listen, asshole...keep your freaking elbows on your side of the flip up arm rest or I'll lash your wrists together.
3. Lysol minis. (Spray dem fuq'rs down.)
4. Bluetooth speaker. Someone talking too loudly, connect and broadcast. I highly recommend the Beats pill. Their headphones suk but the pill is great!
5. Another Lysol mini. (More stinky's just boarded)
6. Battery powered fan. (Blow the lysol at the stinky's)
7. Baby wipes.
8. M203 launcher with smoke grenades
9. Hot flight attendant to bang in the bathroom
10. Cocaine
11. 9 iron
12. Pumpkin Spice Latte
13. Sour Patch Kids


If you can think of anything else, please add to the list.







Just kidding. I don't need any of this crap because I only fly 1st class. Sorry.
I hope you find my additions to be acceptable.


Also, who the hell would want to fly first class, the best is to sit way in back so when the plane goes down you watch everyone die first.
Appreciate 1
MKSixer34102.00
      09-23-2016, 08:12 AM   #39543
Dang3r
Schmollbraten
Dang3r's Avatar
Germany
12483
Rep
1,985
Posts

Drives: M4CPC // HP4 Comp.
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Liandri Central Core

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Axius View Post
Hustler because it makes the person next to you really uncomfortable (but you're only reading it for the articles anyways).
Only if its the uncensored US edition
Aside from that, I prefer bigger picture books of aircraft disasters, if you got a neighbor whos biting his finger nails caused by scared-to-fly, well, if them are short enough he would continue the the feet, hehehe^^
__________________
Citizen of ///M - Town, where too much is just right

Some say, that my scrotum has its own small gravity field and when Im slowing down that brake lights come on at my buttox
Appreciate 0
      09-23-2016, 08:43 AM   #39544
Axius
Banned
Seychelles
4199
Rep
216
Posts

Drives: 612 Scaglietti
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Watch Me NayNay

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dang3r View Post
Only if its the uncensored US edition
Aside from that, I prefer bigger picture books of aircraft disasters, if you got a neighbor whos biting his finger nails caused by scared-to-fly, well, if them are short enough he would continue the the feet, hehehe^^
Is there a censored version? That's fucking lame.


Also..., do people really still buy porno mags? I have two, and the cover of one got mailed to one of my best friends because he likes blondes.
Appreciate 0
      09-23-2016, 09:23 AM   #39545
nyalpine90
Lieutenant General
nyalpine90's Avatar
7418
Rep
11,885
Posts

Drives: MY24 G01 AW Msport
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: L.I. NY

iTrader: (4)

Garage List
2016 BMW X4  [9.33]
i dont want to workkk
Appreciate 0
      09-23-2016, 09:33 AM   #39546
RJ_
Baby-faced Assassin
RJ_'s Avatar
No_Country
1204
Rep
152
Posts

Drives: when car isn't broke.
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Department of the Posterior

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Axius View Post
Is there a censored version? That's fucking lame.


Also..., do people really still buy porno mags? I have two, and the cover of one got mailed to one of my best friends because he likes blondes.
That's a true friend right there.
Appreciate 0
      09-23-2016, 09:47 AM   #39547
Axius
Banned
Seychelles
4199
Rep
216
Posts

Drives: 612 Scaglietti
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Watch Me NayNay

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ_ View Post
That's a true friend right there.
Just trying to do the Lord's work.
Appreciate 2
MKSixer34102.00
      09-23-2016, 12:01 PM   #39548
Dang3r
Schmollbraten
Dang3r's Avatar
Germany
12483
Rep
1,985
Posts

Drives: M4CPC // HP4 Comp.
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Liandri Central Core

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Axius View Post
Is there a censored version? That's fucking lame.
Yeah, into Germany you only could by a european version where special delicate parts are hidden. The original version is only sealed available and more expensive...as long as you're not working here into a US facility or military
__________________
Citizen of ///M - Town, where too much is just right

Some say, that my scrotum has its own small gravity field and when Im slowing down that brake lights come on at my buttox
Appreciate 0
      09-23-2016, 12:26 PM   #39549
Axius
Banned
Seychelles
4199
Rep
216
Posts

Drives: 612 Scaglietti
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Watch Me NayNay

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dang3r View Post
Yeah, into Germany you only could by a european version where special delicate parts are hidden. The original version is only sealed available and more expensive...as long as you're not working here into a US facility or military
That reminds me of this Asian porn link I clicked on the other day, they blurred her vagina and stuff..., does this mean you have to pay to make the blurr go away?


Damn.
Appreciate 0
      09-23-2016, 12:32 PM   #39550
Dang3r
Schmollbraten
Dang3r's Avatar
Germany
12483
Rep
1,985
Posts

Drives: M4CPC // HP4 Comp.
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Liandri Central Core

iTrader: (0)

No, the chinese and other asian regions are forbid to show this details by law. They have special black channels where uncensored porn is shown. But sssshhh, dont make 'em cum out there
__________________
Citizen of ///M - Town, where too much is just right

Some say, that my scrotum has its own small gravity field and when Im slowing down that brake lights come on at my buttox
Appreciate 0
      09-23-2016, 01:01 PM   #39551
Axius
Banned
Seychelles
4199
Rep
216
Posts

Drives: 612 Scaglietti
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Watch Me NayNay

iTrader: (0)

What if I make an Asian porn, do I have to follow their law out of respect, or do you plaster it all over the internet and CC Kim Jong Un?
Appreciate 0
      09-23-2016, 01:10 PM   #39552
Joekerr
Banned
7914
Rep
1,923
Posts

Drives: 2017 Audi S6
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toronto, ON

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Axius View Post
What if I make an Asian porn, do I have to follow their law out of respect, or do you plaster it all over the internet and CC Kim Jong Un?
I'd respectfully suggest you go with option 2 and plaster it all over their internet and CC Kim Jong Un.

It would do wonders in making the citizens of those countries realize their government really was protecting them after all by censoring in the first place.
Appreciate 0
      09-23-2016, 01:19 PM   #39553
Axius
Banned
Seychelles
4199
Rep
216
Posts

Drives: 612 Scaglietti
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Watch Me NayNay

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
I'd respectfully suggest you go with option 2 and plaster it all over their internet and CC Kim Jong Un.

It would do wonders in making the citizens of those countries realize their government really was protecting them after all by censoring in the first place.
Well, to be fair it's not like the blurring would be censoring anything on my end because my wiener is microscopic, plus all the Asian chicks rock bushes so that's censoring on their end.


Guess uncensoring wouldn't do much to achieve my "final solution".
Appreciate 0
      09-23-2016, 01:36 PM   #39554
08njSTEP
Captain
08njSTEP's Avatar
795
Rep
762
Posts

Drives: '07 335i, '66 SS396 Chevelle
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Manchester, NH

iTrader: (0)

US State Dept is going to spend $2.65m to help the citizens of N.Korea in learning about the world outside their border.
Appreciate 0
      09-23-2016, 01:37 PM   #39555
08njSTEP
Captain
08njSTEP's Avatar
795
Rep
762
Posts

Drives: '07 335i, '66 SS396 Chevelle
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Manchester, NH

iTrader: (0)

But probably not porn.
Appreciate 0
      09-23-2016, 01:55 PM   #39556
Axius
Banned
Seychelles
4199
Rep
216
Posts

Drives: 612 Scaglietti
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Watch Me NayNay

iTrader: (0)

Why don't they use the money to invest in the learning of our own nation instead?
Appreciate 0
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
#tagsorass, .anglo is bi-polar, .asbsecu wears depends, .bimmette the ladyboy, .cunning lups, .leg humpers beware lol, allahu akbar to shoei, billups_boobie_fantasy_island, bmw;bmwm;bmwm2, if u dont chew big red then fuq you, ihaznotags, kid getting in way of biorin dates, kitty kat, meow, sara has a horse face, self made sugarskull, several bp members have, severe issues with women, showmeurboobs, skunkwerks rules all, smelly fishie, someone_took_a_shit_on_the_coats, tag less, taglesslikemichaeljordansunderwear, tags are ghey, too many old fucks here are, toting limp dicks, where did all the tags go, which is more than anglo has


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:34 PM.




m3post
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST