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Why Men Rule.
1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. You know stuff about rifles, tanks, motorcycles, and airplanes.
3. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
4. You can open your own jars.
5. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
6. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
7. You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.
8. You can leave the motel bed unmade.
9. You can kill your own food.
10. You get extra credit for the slightest of thoughtfulness.
11. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
12. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
13. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
14. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
15. Everything on your face stays its original color.
16. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
17. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
18. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
19. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
20. Same work...more pay.
21. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
22. Wedding dress: $2000. Tuxedo rental: $75
23. You don't mooch off others desserts.
24. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
25. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might just become lifelong friends.
26. Your pals can be trusted to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"
27. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
28. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
29. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
30. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
31. You don't have to shave below your neck.
32. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
33. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
34. You can "do" your nails with a buck knife.
35. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
36. All your Christmas shopping in 45 minutes on December 24th.
Of course, women do have one thing over us: They have tits. Hell, if I had tits, I'd never leave the house.
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