Quote:
Originally Posted by N0Chill 335i
About 11 years ago I was riding the bus home from work. 10 mins into my 35 min ride I felt a rumbling in my stomach. I thought to myself "no big deal, you can hold it until you get home." About 7 minutes and 2 miles from my house my stomach was like "No sir... It's time to go!"
I stood up and started pacing in the back of the bus, hoping the sensation would go away because I was standing... It did not. The pressure got stronger and stronger and I had a decision to make. I realized we were on a very dimly lit back road in the middle of night. I could use the trees for cover out there in some unfortunate person's yard. I yanked that yellow cord to stop the bus and flew off at the next stop in front of this beautiful house with tall, sprawling trees. I ran to the backside of a tree away from the street view but still shrouded in darkness. I was wearing a 3 piece suit with tie and vest if I didn't mention this before... I dropped trouse and it exploded out of me... oh the joy and relief. About 3 mins later my business was done. Now I had to figure out what to wipe with. I took off my work shirt, a very nice pastel yellow French cuff shirt and proceeded to clean myself. I covered my poop with the shirt and had the longest walk of shame ever to my apartment. I arrived home and immediately hopped in the shower, not saying a word to my girlfriend who lived with me. As I stood there washing away my disgrace I recall I had 2 of my business cards from work in my shirt front pocket... For years I waited to receive a call from an angry homeowner raving about how I dropped a load in their front yard, but it never came.
This is one of my all time favorite stories and I will never forget it.
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Dude. You had me
That my friend is amazing
I don't frequent these parts but I might have to start with threads like these.
FYI. I was laughing so hard I woke up my wife