[DETRoadster]

Oh man, I've had more than a few...

Boss 1 - back in my highschool days. Working at a local burger joint. She would bang the cook in the back office and make me watch out for her husband to show up unannounced as he totally suspected she was a whore. One evening it was just us 3 working and she disappears into the office with the cook. They leave me up front to take orders, cook (I was not a trained cook), serve, bus. That went on for about 20 minutes until we had a line out the door. I announced to the line I was done. Took my apron off and walked off. Someone in line asked who was going to take their order to which I replied "I dunno, maybe go ask the manager. She's in the back f*cking the cook right now."

Boss 2 - Home from college for the summer. Got a lot attendant job at a local car dealer. We had an in house detailer who worked on the 2nd floor of the building the showroom was in. There was a long ramp that took you up there and back down. Only wide enough for 1 car so you had to navigate carefully otherwise you get caught nose to nose with a car going the opposite direction and someone would have to back up. I'm walking up the ramp carrying a box of supplies that had come in to give them to the detailer. I'm half way up the ramp and here comes my boss in a customer car, driving up the ramp. He sees me and guns it, laying on the horn. I start running for my life up the ramp. He chases me all the way up the ramp and gets out at the top laughing and pointing at me. Lucky for me the detailer was a super cool guy and unbeknownst to me at the time he talked to the dealer GM on my behalf. I suddenly got a promotion to a different department and was made a parts delivery driver for the rest of the summer. A coveted job because you are basically out on the road all day, just cruising around. My old boss disappeared shortly after. Not sure how or why or if related but I learned a valuable lesson about networking and building your network of support.

Boss 3 - My big corporate slave job right out of engineering school. Had a spineless, sycophant, little turd of a boss who used to take personal credit for my work with his boss. One day he invites me to an executive level meeting to present some data to the VP of engineering. Kinda a big deal to a 22 year old engineer in a multi-billion dollar company with 26,000 employees. My boss sits at this big conference table and I sit next to him. He doesn't say a word. People are filtering in and everyone is looking ant me funny. I figure they are thinking "whose the kid?" VP walks in and absolutely loses his sh*t because I'm in "his" seat. Everyone in the room knew the 3rd seat in from the left on the back side of the table was his seat. My boss knew it and yet he let me sit there, without saying a word. I got verbally berated in front of my boss and a dozen executives. The the f*cker went on to take credit for my work in that meeting. Whatever, I banged the F out of my then girlfriend on his desk one weekend.

Boss 4 - In a bizarre sequence of events that included the owner of our company dying in a freak accident, control of the company was handed over to his long time friend and business partner. A blue-collar dude from the UK who had never worked in an office in his life. Now he has a $100M+ global company to run and I report directly to him. He's an alcoholic and I'm pretty sure did coke. Totally unpredictable. Bat sh*t crazy. I'm planning my escape out of New England and back to Seattle and in the process my wife and I sell our house and move to an apartment for a few months to buy time until her business sells and we can ultimately bail out. If my boss knew I was planning to leave he likely would have lost his sh*t and fired me on the spot out of spite. We were applying for a home loan to buy a house in Seattle and I couldn't risk an interruption in income or work history. We move into our new temporary apartment complex a 1/2 mile from my work. Come to find out my boss lives IN that complex, IN our building, ON our floor! He's literally 3 doors down from us. WTF! He knows we own a house. If he catches me there he'll be asking some questions I don't have answers for. So I spend 3 months in hiding. My wife took the garbage out and got the mail because he had never met her. She took the dog out to do her business. I literally ran from the carport to the apartment, in fear I'd see him. One night my wife hit the apartment pool, the gym, and then the sauna. I of course was unable to join. She comes back nearly in tears. My drunk boss had stumbled into the sauna while she was in there, stripped down to nothing (clothing was required because it was a coed sauna), plopped down next to my horrified wife and proceeded to start hitting on her. Not long before we left for Seattle the boss was greeted at the door of our company by the police and taken away. He was deported 3 days later. No one to this day knows why, but it was awesome!