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Hey all, I really appreciate everyone's input and help. No need to bicker over this, I can appreciate where everyone is coming from and have gotten a few ideas from the thread. It has been helpful.
I'm not one to jump to defcon 5 out of the gates. The dealership has really been an ally in this one and they are working on it. Like I said if they can sell it and make a profit, good for them (also they aren't paying BMW finance charges for it to sit on their lot currently, so isn't costing them anything).
Regarding social security question, it isn't obviously as cut and dry as I said. My moms payment did increase, but not to his full payment as she isn't full retirement age so is only getting a percentage. The drop in combined social security payment monthly to her is enough that she can't afford the lease payment, and eat. He wasn't irresponsible, he could afford the payment and had a bit of a buffer to have a nice few years of retirement.
I will see how it goes with the dealer, problem is I'm 8 hours away so tough to do this long distance. If I need to play hardball, I will play hardball...there are a lot of resources to bear here, but again against a faceless corporation who is playing statistics for every $1 they can recover.
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