Confess here

Pauly Wauly wrote

There`s always unmolested older Porsche`s for sale. The thing is that you have to pay double and more than what the MRSP was to buy one. But if you win the big lottery that shouldn't be a problem

I'd probably go for a 911 turbo to join the Bentley after choosing somewhere new to live.

384 pages of confessions? Me confess? No frickin way!

Cyn-BMW wrote

When I was young and stupid, I had a porn star girlfriend. She took me to many memorable events. One such event was a fund raiser for PAW, Protecting Adult Welfare. They closed down a bowling alley in Mission Hills. You had to know somebody to get in. There were about 40 very well known porn stars there. Which means I inserted several of my own body parts into several and different types of porn star orifices. And, I still have the pictures to prove it. I’m so glad I got that off my chest! Very therapeutic!

pics or it never happened

I got terrorized by an asshole turkey yesterday....

There are a bunch of them that hang out on my neighbor’s lawn across the street. I posted about them somewhere here before. Anyway, I come home from food shopping and as I'm backing into my driveway, one of them comes running across the street and goes right behind me so I can't back all the way in. He finally moves and I back in, but now he goes to the front of me. He runs from my driver’s door, around the front to the passenger door and back again over and over again like a lunatic. Crazy aggressive. I figure he’ll attack me if I get out of the car. While I was in the car beeping the horn and flashing my lights, my sister texts me and I tell her what going on. This went on for about 15 minutes. I finally got out of the car and into my house. My sister calls me and says she just passed by to check on me. She stopped in front of the house and the turkey ran over and started pecking her car. She also did the horn thing but drove away and the turkey chased her down the block. Now it would have been a different story if he pecked my car….. Early Thanksgiving anyone?

cmyx6go wrote

I got terrorized by an asshole turkey yesterday....

There are a bunch of them that hang out on my neighbor’s lawn across the street. I posted about them somewhere here before. Anyway, I come home from food shopping and as I'm backing into my driveway, one of them comes running across the street and goes right behind me so I can't back all the way in. He finally moves and I back in, but now he goes to the front of me. He runs from my driver’s door, around the front to the passenger door and back again over and over again like a lunatic. Crazy aggressive. I figure he’ll attack me if I get out of the car. While I was in the car beeping the horn and flashing my lights, my sister texts me and I tell her what going on. This went on for about 15 minutes. I finally got out of the car and into my house. My sister calls me and says she just passed by to check on me. She stopped in front of the house and the turkey ran over and started pecking her car. She also did the horn thing but drove away and the turkey chased her down the block. Now it would have been a different story if he pecked my car….. Early Thanksgiving anyone?

I remember you posting about these terrorists before. I think you even posted a pic of them.

cmyx6go wrote

Now it would have been a different story if he pecked my car….. Early Thanksgiving anyone?

Wait until one TRIES to jump up on your hood, but doesn't quite make it, then starts scrapping and scraping with its claws to make it all the way up . . .

UncleWede wrote

Wait until one TRIES to jump up on your hood, but doesn't quite make it, then starts scrapping and scraping with its claws to make it all the way up . . .

Great!

cmyx6go wrote

Great!

This is why my chickens are no longer free-range, they ranged into the carport and liked to try to get up on the hood like a stray cat.

About those cats and their slides down my windshield

cmyx6go wrote

I got terrorized by an asshole turkey yesterday....

There are a bunch of them that hang out on my neighbor’s lawn across the street. I posted about them somewhere here before. Anyway, I come home from food shopping and as I'm backing into my driveway, one of them comes running across the street and goes right behind me so I can't back all the way in. He finally moves and I back in, but now he goes to the front of me. He runs from my driver’s door, around the front to the passenger door and back again over and over again like a lunatic. Crazy aggressive. I figure he’ll attack me if I get out of the car. While I was in the car beeping the horn and flashing my lights, my sister texts me and I tell her what going on. This went on for about 15 minutes. I finally got out of the car and into my house. My sister calls me and says she just passed by to check on me. She stopped in front of the house and the turkey ran over and started pecking her car. She also did the horn thing but drove away and the turkey chased her down the block. Now it would have been a different story if he pecked my car….. Early Thanksgiving anyone?

It would’ve been an entirely different story again if I pecked you.

Sedan_Clan wrote

It would’ve been an entirely different story again if I pecked you.

Fastest onset of lead poisoning ever....

Watching The World Burn wrote

Fastest onset of lead poisoning ever....

For some reason I think he’s talking about a different kind of peck.

Watching The World Burn wrote

Fastest onset of lead poisoning ever....

Esteban wrote

For some reason I think he’s talking about a different kind of peck.

Oh I definitely was. She knows how I roll with her. LOL!

Esteban wrote

For some reason I think he’s talking about a different kind of peck.

Oh he was. And to be clear, I was referring to Sedan suffering from the fastest onset of lead poisoning coming from her direction, not the other way around. As a joke of course - I know they have a good relationship vibe here.

I have this overwhelming want to tell a good friends aunt to just shut the hell up. that she doesn't need to interject herself into every conversation.

Burnt C6 wrote

I have this overwhelming want to tell a good friends aunt to just shut the hell up. that she doesn't need to interject herself into every conversation.

I know way too many females with no filter. In brain, out mouth within milliseconds! I have to tell my wife just because she thinks it, doesn't mean she has to say it!

Burnt C6 wrote

I have this overwhelming want to tell a good friends aunt to just shut the hell up. that she doesn't need to interject herself into every conversation.

Do it! Sometimes people need a dose of cold, hard, “Please shut the fuck up!”

I confess I should have changed my cabin air filter in the "Office" quite some time ago. As I was pulling this disgusting filter out I could hear things dropping down into the fan. After much cursing and scraping the top of my hand raw on the filter housing trying to extract whatever fell into the fan I enlisted the help of a friend with hands small enough that she can reach the bottom of a Pringles can.



What did she find? Hazelnut shells, lots of hazelnut shells. After she removed all she could find I put everything back together thinking I was done. Then I tested the fan. I was not done. The fan now has a bad vibration so I guess I'll be tearing into the dash again today.

Yup, there was one more.

Kent856 wrote

No marriage but they do have a kid together. They're on the brink of separating and it's quite sad to be honest. I wouldn't want to make it any worse.

I've been friends with this dude for about 15 years.

If there is a kid involved, stay the hell away.

Friday morning I emailed my resignation with 2 weeks notice.
I start my new job on Dec.1st
what a relief, after months of searching.

nyalpine90 wrote

Friday morning I emailed my resignation with 2 weeks notice.
I start my new job on Dec.1st
what a relief, after months of searching.

Congrats!!

nyalpine90 wrote

Friday morning I emailed my resignation with 2 weeks notice.
I start my new job on Dec.1st
what a relief, after months of searching.

Congrats! Where’s the new gig?