BMW M3 Forum (E90 E92)

BMW Garage BMW Meets Register Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read


Go Back   M3Post - BMW M3 Forum > BIMMERPOST Universal Forums > Off-Topic Discussions Board
 
Lux Angel Eyes
Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      11-25-2007, 02:37 AM   #23
mpimping
3
Banned
 
Drives: gti
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ny,ny

Posts: 337
iTrader: (0)

at a bar on club put your arm around her and say "let's go home" and see what happens.. Haven't tried it yet, let me know what happens.
mpimping is offline   South Korea
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-25-2007, 10:43 AM   #24
Dmitriy@AUTOcouture
11
Major
 
Dmitriy@AUTOcouture's Avatar
 
Drives: carefully
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: NYC

Posts: 1,134
iTrader: (3)

"Hey I know you! We went to different schools together!"

I was 17... She laughed, I smiled, the rest is history
Dmitriy@AUTOcouture is offline  
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-25-2007, 12:00 PM   #25
flukey
9
Go big or go home!
 
Drives: E90 335xi
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Iowa

Posts: 948
iTrader: (9)

In a crowded bar find a girl standing alone...

Him: "Hey did you invite all these people?"

Her: "What are you talking about?"

Him: "I thought it was just going to be the two of us!"

Thats out of Max Tuckers book "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell"
flukey is offline   United_States
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-25-2007, 12:01 PM   #26
!Xoible
460
Banned
 
Drives: ....
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: .

Posts: 46,037
iTrader: (4)

Garage List
2008 M3  [3.50]
2007 335i  [4.50]
2008 528i  [4.00]
2006 Infiniti - G35 ...  [4.00]
Quote:
Originally Posted by ska View Post
Hi, how are you...you wanna fuck tonight?
i take it that was your best, right?
!Xoible is offline   United_States
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-25-2007, 12:01 PM   #27
!Xoible
460
Banned
 
Drives: ....
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: .

Posts: 46,037
iTrader: (4)

Garage List
2008 M3  [3.50]
2007 335i  [4.50]
2008 528i  [4.00]
2006 Infiniti - G35 ...  [4.00]
best pickup line: "NIIICE tits"

worst pickup line: "can I bury my face between em?"

!Xoible is offline   United_States
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-25-2007, 02:24 PM   #28
djmatty
2
Second Lieutenant
 
djmatty's Avatar
 
Drives: 2003 330i; 1999 328i (RIP)
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: somewhere south

Posts: 282
iTrader: (0)

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

"Do you know what roofies taste like?"

"Are you going to be walking out to your car alone?"
__________________
djmatty is offline   United_States
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-25-2007, 09:59 PM   #29
hotsand5
8
hotsand5
 
hotsand5's Avatar
 
Drives: 2006 BMW 330i 6spd
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: chicago

Posts: 807
iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2006 330i  [0.00]
Send a message via AIM to hotsand5
Quote:
Originally Posted by djmatty View Post
"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

"Do you know what roofies taste like?"

"Are you going to be walking out to your car alone?"

LOFL!!!
__________________
-2006 BMW 330i-Sapphire Black- Tera Leather-Aluminum trim- 6spd manual- Sport- Premium- Cold- Navigation- Euro. delivery

-2005 Yamaha Warrior 1700 102cu"
hotsand5 is offline   United_States
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-25-2007, 10:27 PM   #30
BeMyWife330i
4
DIMA ZMEY
 
BeMyWife330i's Avatar
 
Drives: B5 S4 avant
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Chicago, Illinois

Posts: 496
iTrader: (7)

"Nice ass" works all the time
__________________
BeMyWife330i is offline   United_States
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-25-2007, 11:58 PM   #31
ska///235i
91
***** noob
 
ska///235i's Avatar
 
Drives: M235i
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Boston

Posts: 9,146
iTrader: (32)

Garage List
2006 325xi  [0.00]
Quote:
Originally Posted by mantis View Post
i take it that was your best, right?
maybe you should read the entire thread
ska///235i is offline   United_States
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-26-2007, 12:22 AM   #32
a.l.e.x.
73
Major General
 
a.l.e.x.'s Avatar
 
Drives: e90 328i - sgm
Join Date: May 2007
Location: SF

Posts: 7,354
iTrader: (6)

Garage List
2007 328i  [0.00]
Send a message via AIM to a.l.e.x.
Quote:
Originally Posted by shpuntik View Post
"Hey I know you! We went to different schools together!"

I was 17... She laughed, I smiled, the rest is history
Quote:
Originally Posted by djmatty View Post
"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

"Do you know what roofies taste like?"

"Are you going to be walking out to your car alone?"
ROFL!!!!!!!!
good idea for a thread. props to the OP

hey. do you have helium in your pants? because your ass is out of this world!!

are you a parking ticket? because you have fine written all over you.

hey. can you help me find my lost puppy? i think he wandered into this cheap motel across the street.
__________________
a.l.e.x. is offline   United_States
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-26-2007, 02:14 AM   #33
Scott_H
0
Private
 
Drives: AW 335i E92
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Newport Beach, CA

Posts: 74
iTrader: (0)

some of these are just classic.

Here is the worst i know of:

Guy: You just walk up to a girl and stare at her in the eyes with a really blank/unimpressed look on your face for about 10 - 20 seconds.

Girl: "Can i help you?"

Guy: *look down and back up* "Well it's not gonna suck itself!"
__________________
Scott_H is offline  
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-26-2007, 02:48 AM   #34
mpimping
3
Banned
 
Drives: gti
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ny,ny

Posts: 337
iTrader: (0)

can u supercharge me? she says huh. You tell her you want to get blown.
mpimping is offline   South Korea
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-26-2007, 03:13 AM   #35
nico335
Guest
 
Drives:

Posts: n/a
guy : do you work at subway?

girl : no, why?

guy: oh, cuz you just gave me a foot long
 
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-26-2007, 05:21 AM   #36
tryangles
2
LA Native
 
tryangles's Avatar
 
Drives: 2014 428i
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Los Angeles - SFV

Posts: 292
iTrader: (5)

I can't recall of any right off the top of my head but this matrix is on point:

tryangles is offline  
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-26-2007, 02:04 PM   #37
HyperM3
61
Too many Alex's, from now on, call me Beaufort
 
HyperM3's Avatar
 
Drives: See Sig
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Lawrenceville, NJ

Posts: 6,169
iTrader: (8)

Send a message via AIM to HyperM3 Send a message via Yahoo to HyperM3
You: Hey, wanna get a pizza and fuck?
Her: No!
You: What, you dont like pizza?

You: Have you ever rescued an animal?
Her: Why?
You: If I followed you home, would you keep me?

You: Wow, that outfit looks great on you(showing that you notice she spent time to put it together)
Her: Well thank you
You: Bet it would look great off of you too.

I gave up on threesomes since I was diagnosed with ADD. I can only concentrate on one woman at a time now. Would you like to be my one woman?

You: Come here often?
Her: (doesnt matter)
You: Cus Id like to hear you come often

Hi there, how many drinks does it take for you to pass out?

You: Do you know anything about nuclear fusion?
Her: No
You: Neither do I, wanna get out of here?
__________________
13 HD FatBob
14 Audi S6
Audi Brand Specialist @ Princeton Audi
HyperM3 is offline   United_States
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-26-2007, 02:59 PM   #38
mpimping
3
Banned
 
Drives: gti
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ny,ny

Posts: 337
iTrader: (0)

do you play volleyball? Can you squat?
mpimping is offline   South Korea
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-28-2007, 01:19 AM   #39
smog
1
Private First Class
 
Drives: E90
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: santa clara

Posts: 120
iTrader: (0)

"Wanna smoke out?"

works everytime
smog is offline  
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-28-2007, 01:37 AM   #40
mpimping
3
Banned
 
Drives: gti
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ny,ny

Posts: 337
iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by smog View Post
"Wanna smoke out?"

works everytime
good idea
mpimping is offline   South Korea
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-28-2007, 02:40 AM   #41
Excellence
18
G-STAR
 
Excellence's Avatar
 
Drives: E90 to A5
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Richmond, BC

Posts: 1,899
iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by shpuntik View Post
"Hey I know you! We went to different schools together!"

I was 17... She laughed, I smiled, the rest is history
Wow. That honestly worked? Damn...
Excellence is offline  
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-28-2007, 05:30 AM   #42
Comet
5
Troll Harder
 
Comet's Avatar
 
Drives: 997 GT3, 997 4 GTS, X6M
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Montreal, Beirut

Posts: 596
iTrader: (0)

Garage List
some of these are good and I'm gonna use them on girls if I go out this weekend
__________________
Comet is offline   Lebanon
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-28-2007, 05:36 PM   #43
samwoo2go
7
Banned
 
Drives: E92 335i
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: SoCal

Posts: 782
iTrader: (12)

Guy: if your a buger, I pick you

Grl: WTF, fuck you

Guy: don't trip chocolate chip

Grl: why shouldn't I be mad, you just called me a buger

Guy: Cuz I care teddybear.

Grl: hahaha ok I'll fuck you. (this part is made up, it never happens like this.)


the 1st line could be used interchangably with this

if Im a fly, I fly all over you...cuz your the SHIT!!!


Check her shirt label then say... Just as I thought, made in Heaven.


Guy: Don't you own a bank?

Grl: no why?

Guy: Cuz I would like to make a deposit.


They call me the Asian Exception (grab your junk at the same time...you will obviously need to be asian)


Guy: you know the saying once you go black you never go back?

Grl: ya but your not black.

Guy: (shakes her hand) Hi Steven Black.

Last edited by samwoo2go; 11-28-2007 at 05:45 PM. Reason: more
samwoo2go is offline  
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
      11-28-2007, 06:06 PM   #44
schneid4323
11
Banned
 
Drives: 335i, M6
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas TX

Posts: 1,134
iTrader: (0)

Send a message via AIM to schneid4323
"Wait, arent you a lesbian?"
schneid4323 is offline   United_States
Appreciate 0
Reply With Quote
Post Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:42 PM.




m3post
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST