Drives: 06 330xi Sedan
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Baconville, BN
3 Word Game
I've been seeing this on other forums (including my former auto forum) and thought it'd be cool/hilarious to include it here on E90Post. The goal is to make a story with 3 words from each post, with the next post continuing it.
The rules are quite simple:
1. Each post is 3 words or less. Do not post immediately after yourself or "Make" OneWordLikeThis.
2. Each post must make sense or at least logically follow the previous post.
3. It could be as weird and out there as you want, but NO flaming/mocking/insults or excessively ignorant statements. Light-hearted teasing is OK but don't take it personal. Me, E90Post and/or Bimmerpost and anyone involved, including guests, shall not be held responsible for hurt feelings, civil lawsuits, damaged/vandalized vehicles, broken teeth, lost jobs or thermonuclear war resulting from this thread.
Without further ado, here we go:
I was driving
*EDIT* Wow... Glad to see some sick minds in Bimmerpost ;-) Without further ado, this is what we have all the way until post #369.
(NOTE: I have updated grammar and spelling in some sections)
I was driving, and then suddenly it started to really go awry. But then I shit my pants when I saw mom's huge vagina staring at me - it had teeth and a mouth, and breath like a rotting body, so I instantly decided it was good enough for me to put my pinky in her stinky, right when a Teletubby showed up and ate my giant Chipotle burrito. So I proceeded to stick my pinky inside the tail of the Teletubby, at which time a Pterodactyl flew into mom's vagina and out came an adult man. He told me, "This .... Is ..... SPARTAAAAAAAA!!!"
He lifted his Spongebob Squarepants figurine, and then I decided I would log onto E90Post to look for NSFW nude pics, only to find I got banned because I posted a vacuum-cleaner selfie of myself with another member's mom inside of a drop top 335 with her panties and her bra in the cupholder. Too bad her hand was on my computer mouse; not on me, so I sang a sad song wanking and crying about a goldfish that jumped into my backseat, where my girlfriend put it in the fish's butthole, where he started masturbating furiously to pictures of Pavarotti squatting 1000 lbs.
Then I decided I would dance provocatively while looking like Lady Gaga in a meat-dress on Wall Street looking like a Tae-Bo instructor, while drinking from a homeless man's partner's belly button while singing a Lady Gaga song in a public area. Anyways, I just had Taco Bell and my bowels are going crazy, making me lazy, feeling like Scorsese, shitting violently into a plastic cup and then drinking a milkshake, yet it tasted like my turds fried with Greek [umm... Greek what?], not to mention my overabundance of the crabs* caught from a questionable patron of my local truck stop.
I decided to endure 6 hours of [violent] thrusting [and] anal pummeling from a horse, of course! Allegedly, Tom Cruise is a toasted giraffe at a concert with a gigantic thin-looking penis that looks like Miley Cyrus' hand covered in creamy peanut butter globs, but forgot jelly. Luckily, there was a hot Russian circus act performer who stood on the OP's car. I looked down then saw Bones the TV series. Milk was everywhere, gushing from its giant cloaca, so I decided to drink the milk; my orifices filled [huh?]. However, I realized that my grammar was actually irrelevant, because I have never heard of this game before.
Usually I just put the lotion after the lube runs down my poisonous porcupine's periphery, which is weird because it usually finds its way into her panties, which are crunchy and very stained from all the laxative-induced diarrhea that she shitted after just starting to insert my nine inch cock in and around Rosie O'Donnell's ass. Then aliens kidnapped Shah269 because they accidentally probed his failed other thread and fake cried green alien tears like a bitch , but it worked like a charm; "sorry, no donuts!"
So she twerked so hard that her foot fetish made her crave [ the ...And] Justice for All album by Metallica about twerking asses, and nothing else but the entire twerking teen group wanted to be unforgiven too. They hardly understood the butt-jiggling sensation that makes me, the OP, hard as a rock that can twerk like Miley Cyrus.
"Why the 0's in my Spaghetti-o's?" "Obviously a glitch." Causing an itch in places which you'd fuck a herpes-infested bitch around the ditch, until she started acting broken-hearted about the itch because she sharted while playing uncharted, feeling somewhat retarded. Then she Tweeted Scruffy McGreeny for some weenie.
During the call, they discussed the 3 Word Game that we've played all summer long and into fall; having a ball. They ate cake by the lake, full of tits and ass in my face, which brought up my previous dates. It was traumatic; very, VERY traumatic... To be stuck in between the Spartan's Valley of Mordor with Frodo, in search of a 750HP Prius that can make bacon cheese [fries] with some Skittles, topped with some Ranch and Cheetos with zero emissions!
500 horses galloped across the strip club stage for lap dances and gang bangs with pompous orangutans, and confused koalas that were vanquished by levitating pigs with bacon guns! "Those bikers should wear more gear; thongs aren't enough [for] covering [a] girl's muff!" "Over-exposed privates? But I don't give a fuck, because I'm down to fuck!"
Anyways, I was excitedly hurrying to Chipotle for burritos filled with giant purple people eaters...
Trying to throw some logic into this paragraph has made me officially as confused as a baby at a topless bar. I'm not even gonna attempt to correct it LOL
Muff-diving dive; hardcore porno flick free on youjizz.com... Skeet skeet skeet! Teletubbies rocket power! Making no sense (My notes: I agree 100% ), bukkakke pearl necklace angry dragon, big phat-ass! Logically-connected story has progressed into childish vernacular disembodiment.
The Concordia Ship cruise ship mayhem fucked everything up [and] fucked every girl down. Scrap value is going really high, thanks to a Smurf named Gonzo [who] began to twerk while sniffing dildos and shoving it into some interesting orifices of a $3 hooker, twerking with tampons on the floor of a club of Twerkville's ghetto 'hood while drinking diarrhea [and] twerking. [The staffed [cleared the] dance floor, only to find diarrhea all over the freshly-painted evil sex bunny; which has giant twerking butts and a partridge in the twerking butt... Not like Miley's... "Skeet skeet skeet! To the windows, to the wall!" Till she twerked [and] broke a bone in math class. The twerker passed with her ass; clever little lass.
Twerker-shaking ass while drinking Pepsi laced with cyanide. "Yeah, it's Friday! Friday! Friday! Friday!" Bump this thread, because it started to go down all too fast like The Titanic. "Iceberg right ahead!" "OH SHIT!!" *CRASH* goes the ship, with Leo DiCrapio and Kate WindSlut [who] tossed my salad with extra dressing and dried jizz, making it hard for her to focus on breathing, and then [she] died. When she collapsed, The Titanic rose. Rose got fucked in the bunghole every which way from Sunday, where Area 51 became the target of Obamacare website experiments that still need lots of improvements for twerking ability to be redundant. Do not repeat, wood chuck chuck. Big beautiful women are meant to be one-nighters; hit and quit that clit, before you get burned by its sulfuric very smelly pussy.
Do not lick the pistol's barrel while pulling trigger on deciding to start holiday shopping [for] family-pack condoms with festive themes... "Ho ho ho!" Said your mom, as I plunged into Santa's lap. "Naughty or nice?" "Naughty, naughty, gypsy!" Da Ali G wants the D in his B. That's very gay-ish, like Brüno Gehard, Bruno gets hard.
*I meant crabs as in pubic lice but oh well... Still funny LOL
Last edited by NEFARIOUS; 02-08-2015 at 08:20 PM.
Reason: Compiled story from start to #369