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      09-21-2013, 10:45 AM   #1
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My wife and I recently started working at the same place. Now 1 week has passed and a coupe of times she told me I was cold and not friendly when I talk to her at work. Yesterday she thought I was arrogant!! I'm very nice to my wife and I didn't realize that I treated her that way at all. I guess I was just trying to act professional when we are at work, minimizing unnecessary interaction, I guess I don't want people to say that we hang out all the time or gossip or something. I don't know how far can I go without us looking weird, is it ok to kiss ur wife when you see her at work? Is it ok to hang out all the time together? I feel bad and guilty.
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      09-21-2013, 11:11 AM   #2
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Solution: find another job. A lot of couples just simply cannot work together.
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      09-21-2013, 11:42 AM   #3
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Living and working together geez
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      09-21-2013, 11:49 AM   #4
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Impossible, get another job or it will ruin your relationship. I have met only a few couples that could make it work.
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      09-21-2013, 11:56 AM   #5
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It depends on what you do. My parents work at the same company and there really isn't a problem. If you are her superior or vice versa, however, that could cause problems.
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      09-21-2013, 12:24 PM   #6
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Women are always wrong. New job time.
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      09-21-2013, 12:37 PM   #7
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New job is not an option. We are at the same level. I need to make this work.
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      09-21-2013, 01:02 PM   #8
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After spending 15 years in a family business, I urge you to find another job.
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      09-21-2013, 01:57 PM   #9
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I've worked at an elementary school with a husband/wife (both teachers) for over 10 years - their classrooms were adjacent to each other most of the last 10 years too. No problems but they have such a great relationship so I'm not surprised its worked out so well. I'm sure they're the exception to the rule!
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      09-21-2013, 03:37 PM   #10
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It's not going to work. You think you're doing the right thing, she's going to be pissed at you at work, then when you get home, she's going to be pissed at you at home because she was pissed at you at work.

You need your own time, you can't be in each others pockets 24 hours a day.
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      09-21-2013, 04:47 PM   #11
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Read your post again......."....now 1 week has passed....". One week and already trouble, it will only get worse. This one is easy, find another job or you will end up wrecking your marriage. Working together is a very bad idea like the others have said.
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      09-21-2013, 04:52 PM   #12
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I would suggest sitting down and explaining that obviously she is important to you as she is your wife but that your job is also important and you are trying to remain professional while at work. Explain that you don't want others to think less of either of you for interacting too often or too intimately while at work and hopefully she understands. Also if she seems to understand then make up for the "coldness" by spending your lunch break together as a couple. Sort of a little break in your day to get to be normal around each other before returning to work. Good luck.
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      09-21-2013, 05:02 PM   #13
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how bout nah
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      09-21-2013, 05:25 PM   #14
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damn that.
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      09-21-2013, 05:50 PM   #15
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Work is work. Play time is play time. Husband/Wife time is husband/wife time.

Get it through her head.
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      09-21-2013, 05:56 PM   #16
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Then if a new job isn't an option for you, it damn sure is for her... She just started working with you, right?

You're headed towards divorce.

Good luck.
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      09-21-2013, 07:59 PM   #17
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There is no magic answer. Everyone is different and all relationships are different. Expecting an answer from strangers on an initially automotive forum will not yield the ideal answer. A discussion with your wife is in order and open communication needs to be the norm.

That said, I have worked with my wife for nearly 20 years; since we were in our early 20's. This was before we were married but after we were engaged; have been essentially married for over 23 years. It is a small business too. Point being, we have made it work but not all can. It depends on the individuals and the relationship.
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      09-21-2013, 08:48 PM   #18
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Never eat where you crap and vice versa
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      09-21-2013, 10:21 PM   #19
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Just wait until she files a sexual harassment lawsuit.
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      09-22-2013, 12:31 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boostedTIAG335 View Post
Work is work. Play time is play time. Husband/Wife time is husband/wife time.

Get it through her head.
Absolutely this.

It's not cold or arrogant. That's what being professional looks like. Ask her how she wants you to act with her and then ask her how she'd feel if you acted the same way towards the attractive secretary.

She should have all your affection when you get home. At work, business is business and you need to be professionals. Not everyone at the office wants to have to see you two being lovey dovey.

Warning - How you get your point across is up to you. You know her best and will know what makes her flip her shit. We're confirming that you're in the right. Now that that's settled, the next step is to find a way to convince her of that that also doesn't make her hate you.


As far as how to act around her at work, imagine you were working with a friend you've known for years. Obviously it's okay to say hi and chat but just like any other friend, if you spend all your time bullshitting around and not getting work done, then that's not gonna cut it. Go get lunch together, sure. If you're not sure, just ask yourself, if she was a male friend, how would I act.
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      09-22-2013, 12:58 AM   #21
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Might be a different situation for us, but Wifey and I work at the same small campus. Although we're not generally in the same building, we do commute together most days and have lunch and so on. When we are together on campus it's strictly professional, though. No kissing or hugging or whatever. It just makes us both more comfortable to keep it that way. I'd say she's more concerned about appearances than I am, but I'm ok with keeping it cool. We communicate mostly by email or IM, and then usually just about lunch and leaving at the end of the day (i.e., "ready to go?").
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      09-22-2013, 08:56 AM   #22
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Thanks for all the replies. We talked about it and we think being professional is the way to go with maintaining being friendly and nice to each other. She will be there for a couple of weeks monthly and the other 2 weeks she works at a different location. Same with me.
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