BMW M3 Forum (E90 E92)

BMW Garage BMW Meets Register Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read


Go Back   M3Post - BMW M3 Forum > BIMMERPOST Universal Forums > Off-Topic Discussions Board
 
Velos Designwerks
Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      09-13-2012, 01:03 PM   #1
shah269
Captain
 
Drives: 2009
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: NJ

Posts: 955
iTrader: (0)

Why people don't skydive!

By the one the only the amazing...Shah note attached

1) It's expensive! Per minute of hot hookers and blow are cheaper! In fact
if you have the hookers bring you the blow...it's still cheaper!

2) It's dangerous! I mean hookers and blow are dangerous but this shit is
really dangerous! When was the last time you saw a hooker get her panties in
a twist and slam your sorry coke filled head into the ground? Well other
than that one time when you found out that said hooker was really a dude and
you didn't want to pay her!

3) Speaking of dudes! It's a freaking sausage fest! Who wants to willingly
spend this kind of money to be in a place where a peg legged, one eyed, hook
handed, one titted tandem passenger is the hot one! Mean while you got like
15 guys holding hands in a big circle rocking colors that would make a blind
gay man cry....It's like a total gay pride event in the sky all that's
missing is the drag queen!

4) 90% of the time you can't jump! You drive like 4 hours to get to a drop
zone only to find out because there is one cloud in the sky you can't
skydive! Listen I paid good money for something that costs more than hookers
and blow and I'm holding other mens hands here I'm not afraid of a little
cloud punching! Hell there is a rainbow in there and we are men holding
hands!

5) You can't show off for the ladies! Yeah the reason why any man does
anything ever in the history of time was to increase his testicular mass and
to show off to the ladies!
Cave man "Look I made fire"
Cave girl "Oh you are so handsome let's have sex!"

Greek dude "Look I discovered math!"
Greek girl "Oh you are so handsome let's have sex!"

Roman dude "Look I invented architecture!"
Roman chick "Grab a pack of Trojans and let's do this!"
==>fast forward<==

Hot rod dude "Look I can drag race faster than that guy!"
Hot rod chick "Oh let's make out in the back seat!"

Squid dude "I like did a sick thing on the bike and it was lie wow!"
Squid chick "Ah you are so brave let's fuck NOW I'll keep my leather boots
on!"

Skydiver dude "So I like held hands with these 3 other guys for like a
minute while my friend took pictures."
Random girl at bar "You hold hands with other guys!"

6) They are just not radical enough!

Last edited by shah269; 09-13-2012 at 02:25 PM.
shah269 is online now   United_States
0
Reply With Quote
      09-13-2012, 02:23 PM   #2
ROB_S2K
Lieutenant Colonel
 
Drives: 2014 Grand Cherokee SRT8
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Los Angeles

Posts: 1,761
iTrader: (4)

__________________
2014 Grand Cherokee SRT-8

(2012 | Laguna Seca Blue | Rust Brown | Individual | 6MT) SOLD
ROB_S2K is offline   United_States
0
Reply With Quote
      09-13-2012, 02:50 PM   #3
upstatedoc
Drone Expert
 
upstatedoc's Avatar
 
Drives: '09 BMW 328ix
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: NY

Posts: 1,415
iTrader: (1)

lay off the coke
__________________
2014 Dodge Durango R/T //Diablosports Tuning
2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/ Countermeasure enthusiast.
upstatedoc is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      09-14-2012, 08:43 PM   #4
ideliver
Major
 
ideliver's Avatar
 
Drives: 08 E60 M5 & 08 Infiniti QX56
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: At the gas station

Posts: 1,232
iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2006 MB S430 SOLD  [0.00]
2003 E46 M3  [0.00]
shaw269 dude: "Hey baby...I just made a hilarious post *reads post to girl*

random girl at bar: "You're not funny"
__________________
Cars I've owned '76 Chevelle 350 RIP '82 Monte Carlo 350 RIP '82 Mustang 302 RIP '88 Honda CRX RIP '88 Olds Toronado sold '94 Toyota Tercel sold '99 Acura TL sold 2002 Porsche 911 sold 2003 E46 M3 Blk/gr 2006 MB S430 sold Current: 2008 Infiniti QX56 & 2008 E60 M5

ideliver is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      09-14-2012, 08:47 PM   #5
ragingclue
My interior is turrible
 
ragingclue's Avatar
 
Drives: stickferanaxle
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: mulletville

Posts: 6,723
iTrader: (1)

*Butthead face*

uhh....

uhh...

uhh... huh huh....
ragingclue is online now  
0
Reply With Quote
      09-14-2012, 08:53 PM   #6
GregTheStig
derp
 
GregTheStig's Avatar
 
Drives: a Tuk Tuk
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Atlanta, GA

Posts: 1,202
iTrader: (1)

Garage List
2007 328i  [0.00]
__________________
GregTheStig is offline   Armenia
0
Reply With Quote
      09-14-2012, 08:58 PM   #7
ragingclue
My interior is turrible
 
ragingclue's Avatar
 
Drives: stickferanaxle
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: mulletville

Posts: 6,723
iTrader: (1)

Quote:
Originally Posted by GregTheStig View Post
ragingclue is online now  
0
Reply With Quote
      09-14-2012, 09:38 PM   #8
KyLu II
FREE DREAMK
 
KyLu II's Avatar
 
Drives: the shiiit!
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Vineland, NJ

Posts: 9,315
iTrader: (6)

Garage List
2011 Lexus LFA  [1.88]
lol
__________________
KyLu II is offline   Dominican Republic
0
Reply With Quote
      09-15-2012, 02:46 AM   #9
Elie335
ايلي ٣٣٥ هاهاها
 
Elie335's Avatar
 
Drives: Vorsteiner e92
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Leb

Posts: 1,445
iTrader: (1)

I'm typing this to impress chicks on forums
__________________
Elie335 is offline   St Pierre and Miquelon
0
Reply With Quote
      09-15-2012, 03:02 AM   #10
johanness
Banned
 
Drives: 2008 Z4MC
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Seattle, Vancouver

Posts: 1,741
iTrader: (3)

Garage List
Un-everything
johanness is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      09-15-2012, 08:09 AM   #11
passing
hey
 
passing's Avatar
 
Drives: caprice wagon
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: cruisin down the street in my '64

Posts: 400
iTrader: (4)

passing is offline   Tanzania
0
Reply With Quote
      09-15-2012, 09:57 AM   #12
Ammonia
Captain
 
Ammonia's Avatar
 
Drives: n54 135i
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Fayetteville, NC

Posts: 740
iTrader: (4)

Quote:
Originally Posted by ideliver View Post
shaw269 dude: "Hey baby...I just made a hilarious post *reads post to girl*

random girl at bar: "You're not funny"


/thread
__________________

Mods: JB4 | Berk Race Axel-Back | VSRF DPs | BMS DCI | CM Meth + CMGS Controller | Stett CP | Tial BOV | RR Scoops | BMS LED AE | Matte Grills | 10% Tint | M Pedals | Blackline LCI | CSR Eyelids | Amber Overlays | Rear OEM Flaps | Seibon GTR Hood | Painted Spoiler | H-Style Front Lip | VMR V701s
Ammonia is offline   United_States
0
Reply With Quote
      09-15-2012, 09:18 PM   #13
Cdnrockies
Banned
 
Drives: BMW's
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Calgary

Posts: 1,113
iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by shah269 View Post
2) It's dangerous! I mean hookers and blow are dangerous but this shit is
really dangerous! When was the last time you saw a hooker get her panties in
a twist and slam your sorry coke filled head into the ground?
Well other
than that one time when you found out that said hooker was really a dude and
you didn't want to pay her!
When's the last time you watched someone die skydiving???

Not a ton of fun to watch. Right next door to Wolf Creek in Mesquite, NV is a very popular skydiving site.

So they're jumping almost right over top of the golf course....chute malfunctions and you get to watch two people plummet to their deaths.

Good times.

http://www.lvrj.com/news/two-skydive...131432148.html
Cdnrockies is offline   Canada
0
Reply With Quote
      09-16-2012, 08:54 AM   #14
Wakka
but no flokka
 
Wakka's Avatar
 
Drives: 2009 1er
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Tampa

Posts: 434
iTrader: (0)

OP did this to impress his boyfriend.
__________________
M-Sport, 6MT, Hardwired V1, Perf. Intake, Perf. Exhaust, AFE Scoops, Perf. Carbon Spoiler, Perf. Carbon Diffuser, Enkei RPF1's, Hankook Ventus v12's

Quote:
Originally Posted by BTM View Post
Entourage sucks. BTM hates everything
Wakka is offline   United_States
0
Reply With Quote
      09-17-2012, 10:49 AM   #15
shah269
Captain
 
Drives: 2009
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: NJ

Posts: 955
iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wakka View Post
OP did this to impress his boyfriend.
Oh he was very impressed!
We held hands on our last jump! It was so romantic. He told me he would call later!

But yeah you can die in the sport. Though the odds are better now that we have new tech but yeah every year about 20or so folks die. =\ it sucks but...well it's a bit of an addiction really.

This past friday I was out $120 for all of 6 minutes of joy?
It is not for every one. For those of us who it is for...it's a very difficult addiction to explain.

But i will tell you this....this on my last jump when we were doing a track dive into the setting sun...for that minute...life was just about perfect...and the though of pulling to save my life was distant idea.

Just wish it were a little less expensive and there were more than 4 girls in the sport.
But such is life.
shah269 is online now   United_States
0
Reply With Quote
      09-17-2012, 12:55 PM   #16
carve
Major
 
carve's Avatar
 
Drives: 335i
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: usa

Posts: 1,098
iTrader: (0)

My grandpa met his 20-year-younger fit and adventurous wife on a jump. The ladies are they're, and when you find 'em they are NOT boring Until then, neither is the jumping. Much safer than, say, motorcycles, too.
carve is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      09-17-2012, 01:05 PM   #17
Baremeg55
Private First Class
 
Drives: 2012 Z4
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Houston

Posts: 166
iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by carve
My grandpa met his 20-year-younger fit and adventurous wife on a jump. The ladies are they're, and when you find 'em they are NOT boring Until then, neither is the jumping. Much safer than, say, motorcycles, too.
More safer than motorcycles? Statistically, exactly what data do you refer to derive at this statement? Sure, more people die on motorcycles yearly, however, you can't base such a comment only on number of deaths. What about hours annually per riding -vs- jumping?
Baremeg55 is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      09-17-2012, 01:08 PM   #18
shah269
Captain
 
Drives: 2009
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: NJ

Posts: 955
iTrader: (0)

GO GRANDPA!
Did you high five him?

Yeah bikes......god i love my old GPZ-1100....but she has been in the shop for a year now.

But the rant was what i wrote to a friend who was thinking of taking up the sport and I thought perhaps it was best he not pick it up.

After reading it was a total sausage fest......he agreed.
shah269 is online now   United_States
0
Reply With Quote
      09-17-2012, 01:10 PM   #19
carve
Major
 
carve's Avatar
 
Drives: 335i
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: usa

Posts: 1,098
iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Baremeg55 View Post
More safer than motorcycles? Statistically, exactly what data do you refer to derive at this statement? Sure, more people die on motorcycles yearly, however, you can't base such a comment only on number of deaths. What about hours annually per riding -vs- jumping?
Most people only spend a few hours per year in the air. Anyone can spend a few hours a day on a bike at the drop of a hat. The short duration necessarily reduces your potential for exposure. I'd be willing to bet on a minute-by-minute basis, it's still safer than, say, motocross.

Yeah- he's awesome. Last Nov he did 81 jumps on his 80th birthday. Here're a couple of pics I took. The flag one was published in a skydiving magazine.
Attached Images
  
carve is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      09-17-2012, 03:32 PM   #20
shah269
Captain
 
Drives: 2009
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: NJ

Posts: 955
iTrader: (0)

oooh hop and pops...for the pops! NICE!
I'm only on jump 90 so he has greater testicular mass than i do. By far!
shah269 is online now   United_States
0
Reply With Quote
      09-19-2012, 04:26 PM   #21
shah269
Captain
 
Drives: 2009
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: NJ

Posts: 955
iTrader: (0)

So do you think you will ever join him in the sky?
Has he offered to teach you?
shah269 is online now   United_States
0
Reply With Quote
      09-19-2012, 08:47 PM   #22
ddk632
Lieutenant Colonel
 
Drives: 2013 BMW X6M
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South Florida

Posts: 1,537
iTrader: (0)

Garage List
I don't skydive anymore, but this was my 100th jump celebration.. When I first started, one of my instructors rode a Hayabusa, so after jumping was done for the day we used to go out riding a few times. We joked that it would be cool to jump in our bike gear...


davidbikesuit04 by ddk632, on Flickr


davidbikesuit09 by ddk632, on Flickr

By the way I never heard of anyone who got into skydiving for the ladies. Yes they are there, but to be in this sport, it's all about the adrenaline fix. I was never into the holding hands part

I preferred solo jumps, sit flying, tracking, etc., and night jumps - if you've never done a night jump, do one!
ddk632 is offline   United_States
0
Reply With Quote
Post Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:45 PM.




m3post
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST