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      10-09-2013, 12:41 PM   #463
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Man, i have to say i've been having the ideas of divorce after 2 1/2 years of marriage. It just seems like we are not going in a good direction or have the same goals in life. My wife has gone through 3 jobs so far, quitting 2 and getting fired from one. She does not contribute whatsover to the home chores. No cooking or cleaning. When she stays at home, she just sits on the couch watching tv. I work my job, come home and cook dinner and clean up every day.
I've even just gave up at point and didn't do anything, I held out a month, but once the bathroom starts molding and crap, i mean come on. I feel I married a loser. She doesn't even want children, which i think would be her savior to hide behind.
I'm scard of divorce like people have talked about here though, because of how bad it can be financially and with her not having a stable job, I feel like I'd just have to pay for her. It's like I'm at the point I could care less being with women anymore (not turning gay), just living alone. I did it a couple years before her and was pretty happy.
Hey , I am the misfortunate OP who pays ~4K a month alimony. When I read your post, first I though you were talking about me! This is almost identical to what I went through for 15 years. Now I am paying the price. My advice is you should talk to at least 2-3 good divorce lawyers and start the process asap. The longer you stay the worse it will be for you!

Good luck
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      10-09-2013, 03:07 PM   #464
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Man, i have to say i've been having the ideas of divorce after 2 1/2 years of marriage. It just seems like we are not going in a good direction or have the same goals in life. My wife has gone through 3 jobs so far, quitting 2 and getting fired from one. She does not contribute whatsover to the home chores. No cooking or cleaning. When she stays at home, she just sits on the couch watching tv. I work my job, come home and cook dinner and clean up every day.
I've even just gave up at point and didn't do anything, I held out a month, but once the bathroom starts molding and crap, i mean come on. I feel I married a loser. She doesn't even want children, which i think would be her savior to hide behind.
I'm scard of divorce like people have talked about here though, because of how bad it can be financially and with her not having a stable job, I feel like I'd just have to pay for her. It's like I'm at the point I could care less being with women anymore (not turning gay), just living alone. I did it a couple years before her and was pretty happy.
If you can't get anywhere with communication, could you just kick her out? Maybe that would wake her up. bye bye hon!
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      10-09-2013, 03:19 PM   #465
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Originally Posted by mylydiamy View Post
Hey , I am the misfortunate OP who pays ~4K a month alimony. When I read your post, first I though you were talking about me! This is almost identical to what I went through for 15 years. Now I am paying the price. My advice is you should talk to at least 2-3 good divorce lawyers and start the process asap. The longer you stay the worse it will be for you!

Good luck
Freedom is priceless.
Hope you're enjoying it to the fullest, OP.
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      10-09-2013, 03:52 PM   #466
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Freedom is priceless.
Hope you're enjoying it to the fullest, OP.
Yes I am. It's worth every penny of it though it still hurts to write a check every week
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      10-09-2013, 04:03 PM   #467
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I read the whole thread a while ago but forget if it's finite or lifetime? Hopefully it will come to an end for you, man. That's a big check to write for (virtually) anybody.
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      10-10-2013, 03:11 PM   #468
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I read the whole thread a while ago but forget if it's finite or lifetime? Hopefully it will come to an end for you, man. That's a big check to write for (virtually) anybody.
It will continue as long as I am alive, she is alive and she is single
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      10-10-2013, 07:33 PM   #469
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Oh man, I feel for you bud.
Complete BS. But that's a whole different discussion.
It actually makes me angry.
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      10-11-2013, 08:01 AM   #470
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Reason I will never get married again. Bitches be crazy.
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      10-11-2013, 08:28 AM   #471
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My soon to be had a little problem with cleaning stuff up from time to time. She'd leave old boxes out or paper out from stuff she was working on and the dogs would destroy it.

I grew a pair of balls and told her to stop leaving shit out all over the house. And voila, it stopped happening. Sometimes it just takes a little hard love. If that fails, then a divorce is in order most likely.
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      10-11-2013, 09:24 AM   #472
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Sometimes it just takes a little hard love.
Or a black eye might make her think twice.
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      10-11-2013, 09:44 AM   #473
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Or a black eye might make her think twice.
Nope. Don't want to leave visible marks.

That's why I said "hard" love.
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      10-11-2013, 10:33 AM   #474
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It does get old when we go out and people ask how my girlfriend got a black eye.


I just tell them she's really been into "50 Shades of Grey" lately. Problem solved.
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      10-11-2013, 11:13 AM   #475
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So if OP were to get remarried, he would have to pay alimony and still have to support his new wife/family (if said new wife was in same/worse financial situation)?
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      10-11-2013, 01:13 PM   #476
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So if OP were to get remarried, he would have to pay alimony and still have to support his new wife/family (if said new wife was in same/worse financial situation)?
good question
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      10-11-2013, 02:38 PM   #477
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good question
Yes I do It will continue until either I die, or she dies, or she remarries...
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      10-11-2013, 03:23 PM   #478
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the system is all fucked up and run by equally fucked up lawyers and politicians.

to the OP - sorry to hear about your situation but glad to hear that you're still up and getting through it ok
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      10-11-2013, 03:59 PM   #479
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the system is all fucked up and run by equally fucked up lawyers and politicians.

to the OP - sorry to hear about your situation but glad to hear that you're still up and getting through it ok
Yes!!!!! now imagine being Black.
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      10-11-2013, 04:00 PM   #480
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I think the current divorce rate for California has surpassed 60%. Quite astonishing odds.

It's a really bad gamble, but there's still hope for the ~40% women that have kept their sanity.
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      10-11-2013, 04:46 PM   #481
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I think the stats on divorce rates are actually kind of misleading. The stats on divorce look at for example, 2013 and say, there were X marriages, and Y divorces. Then they figure the divorce rate. However, the marriages that ended in 2013 started in lots of different prior years. The marriages which started in 2013 haven't ended yet, so they shouldn't be part of the statistic yet.

To understand a true divorce rate, one would need to track all the marriages from a particular year, sat every 5 years for 3 decades, to see how many are divorced at each interval. An average of this number from many "starting" years would yield an actual rate of divorce, taking into account the reliability decreases with each increasing year of date of marriage.

The marriages and divorces in one year have nothing to do with each other, so this number has no bearing on the real situation.

Further, marriages can end after 5, 10, 15, 20, or even 30 or more years. So the indicator of a successful marriage is a moving target.

It's also a known fact (sorry don't have a citation but the image in the post above states the same thing) that 2nd and 3rd marriages have even higher failure rates.

I only know one person in recent memory who had a marriage that was "successful". He died of cancer while still married. Therefore, according to the definition of marriage (till death do us part) his marriage was properly successful. Ironically, it was his third marriage.

Everyone who is still married and alive has a possibility to get divorced, and being in it even for 20 years doesn't get them out of the equation.

Therefore, it's not inconceivable that the real rate of divorce for first marriages is actually much higher than 50%.
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      10-21-2013, 02:44 PM   #482
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OMG her new boyfriend is enjoying your $$$, wtf man?
Yup, it is sad but there is nothing I can do about it
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      10-21-2013, 04:40 PM   #483
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Yup, it is sad but there is nothing I can do about it
you should ask if you can make the next month payment in cash directly to her.
then get 4g worth of bills and put two bills aside to keep clean and mint.
use the rest of the $3800 in bills to wipe your shits during the month.
stick the clean bills on top and bottom and tie the stack.
dump the stack in to an envelope and deliver.

or if thats too much work, just hook her up with some crack and see her take herself out.
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      10-24-2013, 10:42 AM   #484
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Hello all,

I finally decided to end my 19 years of unhappy marria...
Wow! i just watched this video i can feel your pain.
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