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      07-22-2013, 03:54 PM   #353
Brunotheboxer
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I try to tell people on this forum that they are doing it wrong.... no one listens. ^^ This is how you do it.
It's really not rocket science.

Just make sure your girl has at least a masters degree, a strong work ethic, loves to cook, hates kids, loves nice things and is great in the sack.

Plus she's gotta love dogs.
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      07-23-2013, 07:51 AM   #354
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OP, I am glad you are at peace with the situation. I hope you are able to be happy and live your life the way you want to. Enjoy your freedom, sir.
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      07-23-2013, 11:59 AM   #355
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brunotheboxer View Post
It's really not rocket science.

Just make sure your girl has at least a masters degree, a strong work ethic, loves to cook, hates kids, loves nice things and is great in the sack.

Plus she's gotta love dogs.
The problem is, girls like that are few and far between.
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      07-23-2013, 12:15 PM   #356
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The problem is, girls like that are few and far between.
The problem is...even if she has the degree, drive, career, she'll still probably end up finding an excuse to stop working. They're called children. After she has one, she'll probably push for another - that's about 6 years right there. You'd probably have your first kid after what, 2 years of marriage...so that's 8 right there. Another two years arguing and you're at 10 years. Jackpot for the stay-at-home-(person).

K-fed should write a book. He did it right.
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      07-23-2013, 12:39 PM   #357
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I got to page 7 and could not read anymore.
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      07-23-2013, 03:28 PM   #358
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Originally Posted by Brunotheboxer View Post
Best of luck op.

I'm happily married but no kids. Never gonna have them plus she makes more money than me so if we get divorced she will have to pay me.

Get yourself a nice whore now.
I already did get one
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      07-23-2013, 04:38 PM   #359
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I already did get one
Nice.
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      07-23-2013, 06:05 PM   #360
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The problem is, girls like that are few and far between.
Men have spent a long time convincing women that what we want from a wife is a mother and a cook.

It'll take some time, but the more we tell them that they have value beyond childbearing the more of these catches will be out there.

My wife makes more than 2x what i do. Gets up at 5am to exercise and then puts in a good 50 hours a week working. Loves our dog but wants nothing to do with having a child.

We decided that if we changed our minds and wanted a child we would adopt an older kid, 10+ years old. We've been married for 10 years and things are just as they were the day we met. 13 years ago.

I would emphasize to the youngsters reading this thread that you should talk about these types of things prior to getting hitched. Kids, work, money, lifestyle, etc... These are the things that will ruin your marriage faster than anything else. Get with someone that's compatible in these areas.
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      07-23-2013, 06:57 PM   #361
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Men have spent a long time convincing women that what we want from a wife is a mother and a cook.

It'll take some time, but the more we tell them that they have value beyond childbearing the more of these catches will be out there.

My wife makes more than 2x what i do. Gets up at 5am to exercise and then puts in a good 50 hours a week working. Loves our dog but wants nothing to do with having a child.

We decided that if we changed our minds and wanted a child we would adopt an older kid, 10+ years old. We've been married for 10 years and things are just as they were the day we met. 13 years ago.

I would emphasize to the youngsters reading this thread that you should talk about these types of things prior to getting hitched. Kids, work, money, lifestyle, etc... These are the things that will ruin your marriage faster than anything else. Get with someone that's compatible in these areas.
You and I could be related.

Next up those with children will state how selfish we are.
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      07-24-2013, 10:55 AM   #362
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Originally Posted by Brunotheboxer View Post
Next up those with children will state how selfish we are.

The now wife of one of my friends used to always tell me that I am a very selfish person for not being interested in having kids. I tried telling her not everyone has the same priorities in life, plus the world is already overpopulated. Why add another kid to it? I also told her the most selfish thing a person can do is attempt to prolong their genetic existence on this planet by having kids. The amusing thing is that she has recently decided she does not want kids.

However, I have also read about more and more people who are intelligent and affluent deciding not to have kids while those less intelligent are rapidly reproducing. Maybe we are slowly on the way to a society like that in the movie Idiocracy.
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      07-24-2013, 11:54 AM   #363
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Don't get divorced and just live in separate homes?
This.
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      07-24-2013, 12:29 PM   #364
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The now wife of one of my friends used to always tell me that I am a very selfish person for not being interested in having kids. I tried telling her not everyone has the same priorities in life, plus the world is already overpopulated. Why add another kid to it? I also told her the most selfish thing a person can do is attempt to prolong their genetic existence on this planet by having kids. The amusing thing is that she has recently decided she does not want kids.

However, I have also read about more and more people who are intelligent and affluent deciding not to have kids while those less intelligent are rapidly reproducing. Maybe we are slowly on the way to a society like that in the movie Idiocracy.
Fine with me. My kids won't have to live through it and suffer.
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      07-24-2013, 12:41 PM   #365
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No more wife, leaves plenty of room for plenty of girlfriends with no strings. Go out and find some nice women to have fun with, get a good couple nights worth, and go find another one. Infinite women (depending on your personality).

Best of luck, sorry to hear things didn't work out. Like everyone said, there's always a brighter side to everything, no use dwelling on anything that can take away from that.
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      07-24-2013, 01:10 PM   #366
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Balance. Everything will eventually balance out, give it time. When a rat population grows too large, a virus wipes out a good portion of the population. When a forest grows too large and overpopulated, a forest fire wipes out a good portion of the population. I assure you, human beings are no different.
Great. Assuming such events are random, more intelligent people will be gone.
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      07-24-2013, 02:51 PM   #367
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Tonka View Post
Men have spent a long time convincing women that what we want from a wife is a mother and a cook.

It'll take some time, but the more we tell them that they have value beyond childbearing the more of these catches will be out there.

My wife makes more than 2x what i do. Gets up at 5am to exercise and then puts in a good 50 hours a week working. Loves our dog but wants nothing to do with having a child.

We decided that if we changed our minds and wanted a child we would adopt an older kid, 10+ years old. We've been married for 10 years and things are just as they were the day we met. 13 years ago.

I would emphasize to the youngsters reading this thread that you should talk about these types of things prior to getting hitched. Kids, work, money, lifestyle, etc... These are the things that will ruin your marriage faster than anything else. Get with someone that's compatible in these areas.
I may add one more thing : Make sure you and future wife have common hobbies such as sports, cars, music, gardening, house projects, watching tv.... Without common hobbies the relation will get boring after a while.
Also do not let sex be the deciding factor! Even it gets boring after a while...
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      08-03-2013, 01:58 PM   #368
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feel really sorry for you man. hope all goes well.

Love is grand, divorce is a hundred grand.
I don't think any country would extradite you over alimony and child support. I know a guy who sold his business and moved to Belize. Problem solved.
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      08-03-2013, 02:12 PM   #369
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Hello all,

I finally decided to end my 19 years of unhappy marriage (shoud have done it long time ago but it is too late for that). Yesterday I talked to a divorce lawyer ($400 for 1 hour consultation ).

A few words about my situation: I am 42 years old. I have a 14 years old daughter. My wife lost her decent paying job 2 years ago, and now making almost 1/3 of what she used to make. Although she could make similar amount of money that she used to but she is too lazy to take a job which would require longer commute. I make about 6 times more than she does. The lawyer told me I have to pay PERMANENT alimony around $3500 and $1200 child support (join legal custody, but my wife would have physical custody). This is like $56K a year as long as she is not remarried. It is like a brand new base M3 every year.

I was hoping 2-3K a month but for maybe 3-5 years, never thought about lifetime.

I worked my ass off to get to where I am while she was parting with her friends. Financially she will be better in situation than me if I can not do anything about it. I am so pissed off that I am even thinking about quitting my job (computer programmer) and just live on my savings for a while so that she couldn’t enjoy my money. I know this sound stupid but I am so pissed of that I am afraid I will not be able to use my logic. Just thinking about she is enjoying my hard earned money with her future boyfriend is enough to make me go insane . Now I understand why people’s life go upside down after divorce.

Anyone can give me any advice in order to reduce the amount or length of the alimony?

Thanks
I went through a similar situation but was only married close to ten years.

To avoid paying her anything I could have moved out of country. She would get absolutely nothing and no child support.

Basically you could walk and not pay a dime. As shitty as that sounds that is an option.

I would get remarried and move out of current area.
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      08-03-2013, 02:13 PM   #370
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I don't think any country would extradite you over alimony and child support. I know a guy who sold his business and moved to Belize. Problem solved.
This... OP wouldn't pay a dime.. Seen it happen and nothing US law can do.
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      08-03-2013, 02:21 PM   #371
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I want to thank everybody for your support and advice.

Yesterday I talked to anther lawyer (there goes another $400 but it is nothing compared to what I am about to lose ).

He told me pretty much the same things that other lawyers said. The laws are designed to make sure that both parties will continue to have equal (or the same as before the divorce) life style after divorce. So if you make $200K and your wife makes $50K (or potentially can make $50K), laws takes away $50-75K from you and gives it to your wife. This is pretty much how it works if your marriage is over 10 years. And you continue forking her money forever unless either you or she dies or she remarries (who would want to remarry and lose easy money??). The only way for me to avoid paying her alimony if I offer her large amount of money. But lawyer said she would not accept anything less than $300,000 once she consults a lawyer.

We were very close to divorce about 4 years ago. At that time she used to make 3 times more and I used to make half of what I make now. If we had divorced at that time, I could have walked away without any alimony obligation. I must have banged my had against the wall at least 50 times after I found out this the other day.


So guys, please be careful. It is impossible to realize the seriousness and consequences of divorce until you are in it. You can lose your lifetime achievements. It can turn your life upside down.

I am sure I am not the only person in this situation and will not be the last one. Knowing this helps me a bit. I am trying very hard to convince my self to accept the situation as it is, and believe that better and happier days are ahead.

One again thanks for your support.
Again this is US law. It means absolutely nothing if you move out of the country.

Another thing ,why on Earth do you men let your wife's know about this shit? Most wife's have no fricken clue what they are entitled and most cant afford an attorney anyway. Why would you tell them what type of money you make? I hinted in my marriage but with so many divorces you never know when your marriage will be compromised so I treaded cautiously.

I never shared a bank account with my ex-wife or shared any assets. She came into a marriage and left with what she came in with, nothing. She deserved nothing. I dont give two shits what some court thinks. If she would have come after my retirement or any of my money I would have remarried and moved out of the country. Problem solved.

I hate seeing guys getting screwed over by bitches.

Last edited by Endless619; 08-03-2013 at 02:32 PM.
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      08-19-2013, 01:36 PM   #372
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I'm probably way too late to this party, but I saw OP post this thread in another thread today.

OP: I'm not divorced (was never married) but I do pay CS, so I have some idea of what you are going through, I went through a similarly shitty breakup with my ex. I'm not sure if your case is already settled (even if so, they can be amended) -- but a couple of things to consider:

1. Imputation of Income -- If your wife has any kind of degree, or professional certification, even if you can prove she had X job before -- your lawyer should be able to argue that the judge 'impute' the higher income on her as if she currently makes it, even if she doesn't -- which would re-balance the CS/AL numbers.

2. Get full custody of your daughter -- She's 14, which means she decides which parent she wants to live with. Sounds like you have a financial advantage, and this might sound cold: but you should lie, cheat, bribe and steal to convince her to choose to live with you full time. If that happens, not only does the CS go away -- it goes against your EX, which should reduce the ALM payment by cancelling some of it out (I don't care if its $300 a month, you want it).

3. Once you've done #2 -- You and your daughter can take the advice of the above posters, my personal choice would be Germany. Then you get to keep your daughter, and your money -- since you are a programmer, you should be able to either telecommute or pursue a similarly-paid position in Europe.
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      08-19-2013, 01:53 PM   #373
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I would like to point out that this is the internet and anything that you say here OP, your ex-wife could potentially find and use against you. I haven't read all 18 pages and I'm not saying you've said anything wrong. I just wanted to throw that out there. I hope everything goes well and in your favor. I'm sorry to hear about your situation.
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      08-19-2013, 02:07 PM   #374
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I thought it was a done deal and op is happy now
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