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      08-11-2011, 10:43 PM   #1
rainNed
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Serious question: did my M3 lead me to an affair?

I am a long time member of this forum. This is obviously not my established account. I don't want to reveal who I am.

I don't (can't) reveal the circumstances, but recently I have become friends with a female who probably became interested in me due in large part to my car. That's a shallow reason to be attracted to someone, no doubt. There is a lot more to the story, but I don't feel like I can tell it right now.

But, this post isn't really about that. This post is actually a full-on cry for help. I am a married man. A happily married man, in fact. But no marriage is perfect. And this girl and I have become attached, obsessed and frankly, entrenched. The only thing keeping me from stepping out on my wife is me. This woman is ready to take things to the next level - to whatever level we can imagine. I am fighting every ounce of my fucking will power to keep this from becoming a huge mistake and a huge bucket of regret.

What the hell do I do? Can someone please talk some sense into me? Oh and before someone says it, yes she is hot and no I can't post pics, sorry.
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      08-11-2011, 10:46 PM   #2
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How old are you, how old is she, how old is your wife, how long have you been married, any kids?

and why isn't this in OT.

And if she likes you for a shallow reason, why would you leave your wife for her?

Take this from a guy who was in a similar situation, except replace marriage with relationship. So not as serious
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      08-11-2011, 10:47 PM   #3
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How would you feel if she cheated on you?
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      08-11-2011, 10:47 PM   #4
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I have no clue.
Goodluck.

and...
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      08-11-2011, 10:50 PM   #5
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a little iffy getting that type of advice here. we are all a little crazy! i have had similar things occur in my life recently and never considered seeking advice here.
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      08-11-2011, 10:58 PM   #6
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Yikes. Don't give up a good thing for some gold digger. You married your wife for a reason. Ultimately, be fair and honest to both her and yourself.
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      08-11-2011, 10:59 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theriz View Post
I have no clue.
Goodluck.

and...
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      08-11-2011, 11:06 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snig View Post
Yikes. Don't give up a good thing for some gold digger. You married your wife for a reason. Ultimately, be fair and honest to both her and yourself.
well said!

OP: given what you've said, it sounds like your completely infatuated. however, infatuation is FAR from a legitimate reason to be doubting your marriage.

i suggest you stop seeing this person and start thinking about what it is about your relationship with your wife that is unsatisfying and what you feel is missing. most of the time it is things that you can affect (spontaneity, excitement, uncertainty, etc).

come on man. MAN the f* up and get your life back together.
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      08-11-2011, 11:09 PM   #9
-=Hot|Ice=-
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Serious question, Why the hell are you blaming an affair on your car?

Last edited by -=Hot|Ice=-; 08-11-2011 at 11:19 PM.
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      08-11-2011, 11:09 PM   #10
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      08-11-2011, 11:11 PM   #11
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What happens when you sell you car?
Will she then dump you?
you wife loved you pre M3 and shell probably love you without it
( unless you go and get a 1M or something)

Still..
This is a nice change from the 6MT vs DCT threads
Why can't you post pics?
Send the pics to one of us an we'll post them
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      08-11-2011, 11:12 PM   #12
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Maybe if someone kicks your ass, you'll get your sense back.
3 good quotes in here,
How would you feel if she cheated on you?
And if she likes you for a shallow reason why would you leave your wife for her.
If this is something you want, be fair to her and yourself
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      08-11-2011, 11:15 PM   #13
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I went through same thing about 7 months ago.

At that moment I felt like couldn't decide what to do, and either decision I would break someones heart.

Long story short, I made the right decision.

I told the girl no thanks and lived my life in no regret.

Don't ruin ur life, it's not worth it
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      08-11-2011, 11:16 PM   #14
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DON'T DO IT.
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      08-11-2011, 11:18 PM   #15
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      08-11-2011, 11:18 PM   #16
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*Honestly I'd post some more information because this is really vague right now, also everyone's human at the end of the day if the guy needs help let's try to help
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      08-11-2011, 11:21 PM   #17
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I'll take her off your hand and save you the trouble I am single and i like to play around with chicks ha
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      08-11-2011, 11:21 PM   #18
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Just remember, she likes your car/money; NOT YOU!
Your wife likes you for you!!!
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      08-11-2011, 11:23 PM   #19
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[quote=SECRET M;10209063]well said!

OP: given what you've said, it sounds like your completely infatuated. however, infatuation is FAR from a legitimate reason to be doubting your marriage.

i suggest you stop seeing this person and start thinking about what it is about your relationship with your wife that is unsatisfying and what you feel is missing. most of the time it is things that you can affect (spontaneity, excitement, uncertainty, etc).


Very well said! OP if you are married to a good woman, who takes care of you and is a good mother (if you have children) Dont do it. Im sure many of us including myself have been in a similar situation in our lives. Most of the time its just the need for change. After years of marriage life becomes routine, you get up, go to work, go to the gym or supermarket (what ever your thing is) then come home, have dinner, tuck the kids in, watch tv and make love or dont make love to your wife, then off to sleep. Rinse and repeat the next day. Meeting someone new is like a spark, its something new, an adventure. You might feel like you need it ( and in some cases one might) but let me tell you. Its not worth it!! That person might also be looking for the same. Once you screw for the first time, that too will become routine. before you know it time goes by and you are back to square one, now with a different person. You married your wife for a reason. Remember that. IF she is still treating you well, then fight hard man. Its not easy to find a good woman who can make a home with you, but its easy to find a woman that will reck the home you already have. You are in a tough position, but take if from a married dude with two kids, who was in a similar place as you.
At the end of the day, if you really feel the need to cheat, just go to the bathroom, rub a nut out, and then your REAL head will think logically and not just in the passion you might feel for this new chick
Just my 2 cents
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      08-11-2011, 11:23 PM   #20
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Well... since you asked....

There is nothing wrong with ending a marriage if you are unhappy or think you could be happier (your kids will be fine, don't stay in a marriage you don't want because of that). Since you imply that you are still happy (i.e.- your wife did not gain 50 pounds and you no longer want to bang her, etc.), you just come across as a cheating douche bag. You are hardly alone in that, but that's no excuse. Either leave your wife for the new girl or stay with her and be faithful... that's your call... but cheating is about the lowest thing you can do.
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      08-11-2011, 11:24 PM   #21
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if your happily married then don't cheat
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      08-11-2011, 11:24 PM   #22
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maybe raiNed is a troll dropping bombs on here?
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