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      02-26-2007, 11:58 PM   #23
tommydogsdad
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Quote:
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best advice....
Thanks. One of the most annoying things after losing my dad was comparison. Everyone's pain is different. There have been others in this thread who have lost a sibling. I can't even imagine what that must me like. That is why I can't compare the loss of my dad to my siblings dying. It must be agonizing.

I miss him every day. I always here him in the back of my head saying "Just do it!" I feel sometimes as if he has helped push me to be successful because he knows I can. Like he's rooting for me "Go Michael, get out there!" He died on my 21st bday and 2 days before my graduation from college.
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      02-27-2007, 12:47 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tommydogsdad View Post
Thanks. One of the most annoying things after losing my dad was comparison. Everyone's pain is different. There have been others in this thread who have lost a sibling. I can't even imagine what that must me like. That is why I can't compare the loss of my dad to my siblings dying. It must be agonizing.

I miss him every day. I always here him in the back of my head saying "Just do it!" I feel sometimes as if he has helped push me to be successful because he knows I can. Like he's rooting for me "Go Michael, get out there!" He died on my 21st bday and 2 days before my graduation from college.
I can relate. I lost my father from a sudden death (in his sleep no warnings) when I was 20yo during my first year in Dental School. Loosing a parent is definitely not the same as loosing a grandparent. Loosing your mother must be even tougher. And finally loosing a child must be near unbareble (my father's parents were both alive when my father passed)
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      02-27-2007, 10:15 PM   #25
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Lost my dad last october, I was by his side for his last breath. Not much anything you can say except be there for the person when they need you. People react and heal in many different ways and there really isn't a wrong or right way to do so.

The best thing for me that i have come to realize is to continue to remember the good times we had together and the many things he taught me. I still have dreams about thim almost every night, not always good ones either, and think about him constantly. My "healing" has taken many different steps, from sadness to bitterness to just being plain MAD! He was a smoker and it took about 10 years of his life away...and even his 10 years before that he suffered and was sick quite often.

Nothing anyone has said has had much of an influence or changed the way i feel inside. What you need to do, as someone said before, IS BE THERE FOR THE PERSON. Listen to them, even if it's the same thing over and over again, hold their hand, hug them, give them space if necessary, but be there.

Good luck.
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      02-27-2007, 10:32 PM   #26
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Hey Bubbarossa,

Thanks man, that is right on....welcome to e90post!

I dreamed about my little sister several times, REAL lucid, she told me she was okay, that kinda stuff....very comforting then but painful now to remember.

Peace!
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      02-27-2007, 11:25 PM   #27
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The best things sometime are not spoken - be there for your friend, always-he/she will NOT forget that, even though he/she may not really rember exactly what you said to comfort them.

I have lost a sibling, one parent twice (adopted and bio), all grandparents; believe me, unfortunately I know exactly what your friend is going through right now. My deepest sincere regrets and thoughts go out to him/her and the familly.
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      02-27-2007, 11:26 PM   #28
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I lost a 20 year old sister 12 years ago in a car accident. There is nothing to say really, except to be there when your friend wants to talk or cry. You can say "I'm so sorry", and then shut up, but that's about it.

God Bless, Hawkman!
Stew, same shit different continent-she was 21 at the time .....uncanny parallel
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      02-28-2007, 08:08 AM   #29
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Stew, same shit different continent-she was 21 at the time .....uncanny parallel



Wow.

Something I realized while I was healing is that just about everybody has lost somebody, and then I didn't feel so lost and alone anymore.
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