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      01-28-2011, 10:24 PM   #1
birgppa
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M3 vs fluffy kitten

By now I guess you're all wtf'ing about the topic - to the story. This summer my M3 had an epic battle versus a german killer-kitten, most likely trained by some form of secret animal training program designed to ruin our b33m3rs. This vicious event took place in Brandenburg, Germany during a roadtrip. We arrived at the hotel in Brandenburg late at night the evening before, I stashed the Silverstonish beast safely deep down in the hotels secret automobile-vault. Protected by 7 foot blonde gladiators armed with WOMD behind 30" armed concrete walls with a time-locked door I felt safe. And of course there where lasers.

After spending the previous night sleeping in the car we headed straight to bed. The morning after we woke up at 9 AM and decided to take a walk around town (I know... walk?). We came back at lunch hours and realised we had a looooong drive if we wanted to make it to Amsterdam before night. My two companions headed down to the garage while I checked out. Ten minutes later I came down to the garage and I found my friends on their knees looking under the other cars, obviously I asked: wtf r u doing..?

Apparently they've heard a cat moaning. I helped searching the place and we located the source of the noise....... The beemer....

After searching underneath the car, finding nothing I decided to check in on the V8. To my surprise, deep down there I saw two eyes glaring back at me with nothing but disgust and hatred. It was the killer-kitten. This machine, this object created to cause anarchy and death was stuck. In my V8. Wtf now? I had to act quickly, after some quick thinking I went up to the lobby asking the hotel staff for help. I cant imagine what they thought when some kid walks up... " err.. theres a cat in my engine... "

For some reason they called the fire department instead of an infantry, they brought a cage and shrimps.. So we jacked the car up, I tried to talk some sence into the kitten but I realised It didnt want to get captured alive. Finally after jacking the car up we managed to get the beast out of there. The firemen told me it was just looking for a warm and cosy place to sleep but I'm pretty sure what its mission was. It was supposed to place a bomb there and then get out stealth-style. It got stuck and decided to make it a suicide mission. I dont even want to think about what could've happened if I'd started the car up...

Im writing this as a warning, even when you think your baby is safe, its not. Theese fuzzy creatures are lurking out there, watching your every move preparing to strike. So next time you're about to fire it up, make sure you listen for meowz first.








Best regards, Birgppa
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      01-28-2011, 10:35 PM   #2
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Lmfao good story haha
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      01-28-2011, 10:57 PM   #3
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I must admit, for a person that doesn't love in the U.S. you write very well. Great read lol, is English a primary language for you?
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      01-29-2011, 12:58 AM   #4
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Cats have no souls, beware.

"dogs have masters, cats have staff."

"if a domestic cat weighed 300 pounds, it would eat you."
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      01-29-2011, 01:17 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AudiS5 View Post
I must admit, for a person that doesn't love in the U.S. you write very well. Great read lol, is English a primary language for you?
My company has an office in Veddesta, Sweden. When our office and theirs are on conference calls together I often notice the folks from Sweden typically speak better English than most Americans.
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      01-29-2011, 02:37 AM   #6
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Nice story. Killer kittens have been leaving cryptic messages on my hood. Can anyone here read paw?
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      01-29-2011, 02:39 AM   #7
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LOL. Very well written and entertaining experience.
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      01-29-2011, 04:56 AM   #8
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nice write up! LOL.

oh - we speak and write english in countries other than the US you know
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      01-29-2011, 05:10 AM   #9
birgppa
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Thank you guys haha! English is more like a secondary language here, but dont get me wrong all swedes doesnt know it well. I guess the ones that you meet are the ones travelling often with work and/or youngsters like me who still havent forgotten all about it from school.
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      01-29-2011, 09:09 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nez View Post
nice write up! LOL.

oh - we speak and write english in countries other than the US you know
No way, really? lol, I was more or less trying to find out if the OP was originally from the U.S.

Quote:
Originally Posted by birgppa View Post
Thank you guys haha! English is more like a secondary language here, but dont get me wrong all swedes doesnt know it well. I guess the ones that you meet are the ones travelling often with work and/or youngsters like me who still havent forgotten all about it from school.
I was actually visiting Stockholm and Gothenburg this summer. Have some family in a small town so they were taking us all over, beautiful country.
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      01-29-2011, 05:48 PM   #11
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We have marters here in where I am in Germany.... these fuckers DO DO damage..... they like to chew on the electric cables. A Marter looks like a weasel if you need a visual.

Good Story and lucky your friends heard the meaow instead vroo----cr,krah sputter, sputter.

I guess it is true.... these cars Do attract PUSSY!!!!!
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      01-29-2011, 08:38 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by M3Fool View Post
We have marters here in where I am in Germany.... these fuckers DO DO damage..... they like to chew on the electric cables. A Marter looks like a weasel if you need a visual.

Good Story and lucky your friends heard the meaow instead vroo----cr,krah sputter, sputter.

I guess it is true.... these cars Do attract PUSSY!!!!!
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      01-30-2011, 01:39 PM   #13
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Good story..unfortunately though it's happened to my mom before and she started the car. It wasn't pretty.......
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      02-01-2011, 04:33 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by M3Fool View Post
I guess it is true.... these cars Do attract PUSSY!!!!!
But they still attract way more COCK!




Cheers.

P.S. Crap. The gif didn't show up. Replaced with jpg.
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      02-01-2011, 05:04 PM   #15
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      02-01-2011, 05:56 PM   #16
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Lol, perfect ending to a busy day - many thanks OP!
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      02-01-2011, 06:16 PM   #17
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wheres the pic of the killer kitten?
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      02-02-2011, 01:20 PM   #18
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Quote:
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wheres the pic of the killer kitten?
This board has a strict policy against posting pussy pics.
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      02-07-2011, 11:53 AM   #19
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It was an AMG cat....
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      02-07-2011, 03:31 PM   #20
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I would shoot the cat with a BB gun.
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      02-08-2011, 06:12 PM   #21
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