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ESS Tuning
View Poll Results: h0t sauce?
i fucking love that shit 32 82.05%
i can't handle it aka i suck 7 17.95%
Voters: 39. You may not vote on this poll

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      12-23-2010, 05:44 AM   #1
jhv
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poll of the day #148

yeah

buddy
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      12-23-2010, 06:04 AM   #2
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LOL at bottom option
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      12-23-2010, 07:19 AM   #3
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I put hot sauce on just about everything...


There is place by me that has these bitchin' habanero wings. Every time I get them I rage-eat them... NOM NOM NOM NOM.
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      12-23-2010, 07:43 AM   #4
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could drink it straight from the bottle
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      12-23-2010, 08:27 AM   #5
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      12-23-2010, 09:05 AM   #6
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Learned about hot sauce from my mom! My dad can't handle that shit lol
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      12-23-2010, 09:24 AM   #7
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Hot sauce is good but even better is this chili powder my grandma's neighbor makes...it's some potent shit. Last time I was over there he went to fill me with his latest batch...he wore nose, eye, and hand protection along with covering up as much skin on his face/head as he could...the stuff is like a micro-powder and still got everywhere he had to take a shower right after lol. Got it in my eye once and was fucked up for like 2 hours from it after washing my eye out and showering etc...won't make that mistake twice

csb
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      12-23-2010, 09:25 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BTM View Post
Hot sauce is good but even better is this chili powder my grandma's neighbor makes...it's some potent shit. Last time I was over there he went to fill me with his latest batch...he wore nose, eye, and hand protection along with covering up as much skin on his face/head as he could...the stuff is like a micro-powder and still got everywhere he had to take a shower right after lol. Got it in my eye once and was fucked up for like 2 hours from it after washing my eye out and showering etc...won't make that mistake twice

csb
that is a lot of trouble for a lil chili powder..
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      12-23-2010, 09:31 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYCGarbagePrince View Post
that is a lot of trouble for a lil chili powder..
He makes huge batches and sells it...was just hooking me up early so he hadn't processed it all yet. But yea, the shit is amazing. Really funny when you warn people "2 shakes is enough, maybe 3 if you can handle it" and they say "nah fuck that" and put on like 10 shakes...I swear one guy almost had a heartattack he turned blood red and was tearing and sneezing and shit
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      12-23-2010, 09:40 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BTM View Post
He makes huge batches and sells it...was just hooking me up early so he hadn't processed it all yet. But yea, the shit is amazing. Really funny when you warn people "2 shakes is enough, maybe 3 if you can handle it" and they say "nah fuck that" and put on like 10 shakes...I swear one guy almost had a heartattack he turned blood red and was tearing and sneezing and shit
Reminds me of this story.. hah... ***RE-POST ALERT*** ... just in case someone wants to flex their e-muscles.

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this scenario can be. There is actually a Chili Cook Off in Texas about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. In this little story, Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili Taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors
Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted."

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:



CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 - Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) - Holy smokes, what is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy.


CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge #2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. Shoved my way to the front of the beer line. The barmaid looks like a professional wrestler after a bad night. She was so irritated over my gagging sounds that the snake tattoo under her eye started to twitch. She has arms like Popeye and a face like Winston Churchill. I will NOT pick a fight with her.


CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- This has got to be a joke. Call the EPA, I've located a Uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been sneezing Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now and got out of my way so I could make it to the beer wagon. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. She said her friends call her "Sally." Probably behind her back they call her "Forklift."


CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC...

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue but was unable to taste it. Sally was standing behind me with fresh refills so I wouldn't have to dash over to see her. When she winked at me her snake sort of coiled and uncoiled --- it's kinda cute.


CHILI # 5 LISA'S - LEGAL LIP REMOVER...

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing and I can no longer focus my eyes. I belched and four people in front of me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed hurt when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. Sort of irritates me that one of the other judges asked me to stop screaming.


VERA'S VERY - VEGETARIAN VARIETY...

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Sally. I asked if she wants to go dancing later.


CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned
peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can
of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried
about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a hand grenade in my mouth and pull the pin and I wouldn't feel it. I've lost the sight in one eye and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My clothes are covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth at some point. Good, at my autopsy they'll know what killed me. Go Sally, save yourself before it's too late. Tell our children I'm sorry I was not there to conceive them. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful and I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just let it in through the hole in my stomach. Call the X-Files people and tell them I've found a super nova on my tongue.


CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM's TOENAIL CURLING CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report
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      12-23-2010, 10:12 AM   #11
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I'm not a hot sauce fan....i guess i suck and it looks like im the only one
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      12-23-2010, 01:00 PM   #12
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I guess I suck, because I don't like hot sauce

Hot barbecue sauce for wings is cool, but actual hot sauce I don't like the taste
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      12-23-2010, 01:42 PM   #13
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collin, i guess you and i can suck together...no homo
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      12-23-2010, 01:44 PM   #14
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Death sauce all the way. Cant handle ghost peppers though
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      12-23-2010, 04:59 PM   #15
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This is the shiznit.

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