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      01-15-2007, 07:51 PM   #1
Dmitriy@AUTOcouture
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Eff School, This Is All You Need To Succeed!

Lesson One
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,
"Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and
rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on
the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson - To be sitting and doing nothing,
you must be sitting very, very hi gh up.

Lesson Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to
be able to get to the top of that tree", sighed the
turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"
replied the bull.

"They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it
actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more
dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a
fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the
top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of
the tree.

Management Lesson - Bull shit might get you to the
top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson Three

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was
so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some
dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung,
he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing
him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon
began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird sing ing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lesson -

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

This ends your two minute management course.
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      01-15-2007, 07:54 PM   #2
teknochild
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lol
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RAWRrrrr
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      01-15-2007, 07:58 PM   #3
BMW E90
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lol that was awesome
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      01-15-2007, 07:58 PM   #4
cm3rc
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      01-15-2007, 07:58 PM   #5
daheechang
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i like the first lesson.nice
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      01-15-2007, 07:58 PM   #6
just4kickz
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good stuff.
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"Akimbo shotguns. Broken wrists anyone? And don't give me that 'it's just a game' bull****. Where the **** are my akimbo interventions then?! One scope on each eye mother****er!!"
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      01-15-2007, 08:02 PM   #7
Ninjaneer
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gonna send this to my friend who just started his MBA
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      01-15-2007, 08:40 PM   #8
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lol
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      01-15-2007, 08:42 PM   #9
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Thanks a lot man. I got to remind me this every day
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      01-15-2007, 08:51 PM   #10
xxpaintmepunkxx
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LOL. This was great.
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I think that perhaps threads like this are the reason I don't visit E90Fanatics or E46Fanatics anymore.

Guy #1: "Hanz, I know zee window switches have always been next to zee shifter in zee 3er cars, but I think ve should move them to zee door!"
Guy #2: "But zee doors are already designed and ve do not have time to re-design them!"
Guy #1: "Just make it verk or you vill be verking over at VW!"
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      01-15-2007, 09:38 PM   #11
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