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      08-21-2010, 05:09 PM   #23
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"road is slippery when wet"
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      08-21-2010, 05:13 PM   #24
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^she must have a big vagina
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      08-21-2010, 09:15 PM   #25
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Not a warning label but shows how dumb most people are and will give a good

Woman Injured in Power Tool Sex Toy Encounter

LEXINGTON PARK, Md. -- Some sexual experimentation landed a southern Maryland woman in a hospital with injuries tough to imagine and even more difficult to forget.

Maryland State Police airlifted the 27-year-old woman to Prince George's County Hospital Center early Sunday morning after she was injured in an incident involving a sex toy attached to a saber saw blade, TheBayNet.com first reported.

The man who called 911 about the incident admitted attaching the sex toy to the saw and then using the high-powered, homemade device on his partner, according to the St. Mary's County Sheriff's Office.

The saw cut through the plastic toy and wounded the woman, according to TheBayNet.com. The injuries were severe enough for medevac, but the woman was released from the hospital Monday and is recovering from her unusual injuries.

Investigators talked to the woman, who told them she suffered the injuries during a consensual act and that she and her partner were trying something new and no crime was committed, the sheriff's office said.
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      08-21-2010, 09:51 PM   #26
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^Wow what a stupid woman. Although that gave me a pretty good idea.

Dildo on a powerdrill = profit?
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      08-21-2010, 09:57 PM   #27
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^Wow what a stupid woman. Although that gave me a pretty good idea.

Dildo on a powerdrill = profit?
They already have those, You can also buy them on hydraulic pistons........
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      08-21-2010, 10:02 PM   #28
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Didn't this same thing happen about 6 months ago? Think it was a drill that time.

Darwin candidates.

Of course since there was no label warning against using the saw as a sex toy.....
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      08-21-2010, 10:09 PM   #29
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Didn't this same thing happen about 6 months ago? Think it was a drill that time.

Darwin candidates.

Of course since there was no label warning against using the saw as a sex toy.....
No but there is one on my STIHL MS 250 that says DO NOT STOP CHAIN WITH HANDS
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      08-21-2010, 10:10 PM   #30
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They already have those, You can also buy them on hydraulic pistons........
oh yeah, I saw Jenna Haze get torn up by a double hydraulic dildo, shit was nuts...but I was like 13 lol
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      08-21-2010, 10:12 PM   #31
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oh yeah, I saw Jenna Haze get torn up by a double hydraulic dildo, shit was nuts...but I was like 13 lol
I'll have to look that one up, must be one of the only Jenna Haze things I haven't seen
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      08-21-2010, 10:23 PM   #32
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Happy Fun Ball

http://www.mytopclip.com/play.php?vid=13276
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      08-21-2010, 10:54 PM   #33
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Woman Injured in Power Tool Sex Toy Encounter
I'm really surprised that you don't see more of these types of things. A buddy of mine's mom is an ER doctor and she sees people come in with table legs, bottles, etc stuck in their ass/vag all the time. Guys have come in with roses stuck INSIDE their dicks in a romantic attempt gone wrong.

"Give me two popsicle sticks and a rubber band and I'll find a way to fuck it"
-Seth Rogen
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      08-21-2010, 11:25 PM   #34
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No way, roses????
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      08-21-2010, 11:32 PM   #35
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Yeah, you can't make this shit up. Worst case she had was a girl in her twenties who had "sat" on a lava lamp and had the whole bottle part stuck in her ass. She accidentally went too far down and passed the wide part at the end and couldn't get it out again.
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      08-21-2010, 11:34 PM   #36
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Yeah, you can't make this shit up. Worst case she had was a girl in her twenties who had "sat" on a lava lamp and had the whole bottle part stuck in her ass. She accidentally went too far down and passed the wide part at the end and couldn't get it out again.
lololol

Holy shit, isn't it awkward as hell having your mom tell you these stories? *Edit* oh, not your mom

If you have any more good ones, feel free to share .
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      08-21-2010, 11:43 PM   #37
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lololol

Holy shit, isn't it awkward as hell having your mom tell you these stories? *Edit* oh, not your mom

If you have any more good ones, feel free to share .
Its actually way more awkward having your friend's mom tell them lol. She is hilarious though, and a good cook.

In fact, my own mother has even better stories, some of which I've witnessed personally, because she is a forensic toxicologist and I've spent many days at the crime lab with her. She's a facial reconstructionist so she deals with the morgue a lot too. Crazy shit. Like these two base jumpers who were tethered together and fell before they had their shit on. Bodies were intact but they were only like 2 feet tall. Just collapsed in.
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      08-21-2010, 11:49 PM   #38
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Its actually way more awkward having your friend's mom tell them lol. She is hilarious though, and a good cook.

In fact, my own mother has even better stories, some of which I've witnessed personally, because she is a forensic toxicologist and I've spent many days at the crime lab with her. She's a facial reconstructionist so she deals with the morgue a lot too. Crazy shit. Like these two base jumpers who were tethered together and fell before they had their shit on. Bodies were intact but they were only like 2 feet tall. Just collapsed in.
Whaaaat? You're saying their bones just completely collapsed?

So imagine a slinky kind of held apart, you're saying they looked just fine but were like a compressed slinky?

Now that I think of it, a spring would've been a better analogy...lol.
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      08-21-2010, 11:52 PM   #39
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Whaaaat? You're saying their bones just completely collapsed?

So imagine a slinky kind of held apart, you're saying they looked just fine but were like a compressed slinky?

Now that I think of it, a spring would've been a better analogy...lol.
I guess. I mean there was some rigidity to the bodies but for the most part they were just kinda crunched up. They fell 140 ft off a radio tower. Prolly should have included that.
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      08-23-2010, 12:53 PM   #40
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You all seen the warning that say "use under adult supervision" when I live in CA I saw the following warning on a side of kids blow up pool.

"Use Under Competent Supervision"

At first I thought it was very odd warning, then I thought about it awhile and realize a really good lawyer came up with this for this toy company. What this warning is really saying is if you allow your kid to be harmed by this pool you incompetent and they could prove you were not competent to supervise your kid since your kid got hurt or died.

Well a case did go to court some years later and the courts did not like this tactic, because the lawyers did exactly what I thought they would do, which was to attack the adult as being incompetent because they allowed their kid to be hurt therefore they were not competent to allow their child to use the toy.

The lawyer argued by saying using under adult supervision was not an adequate warning since there are many adult who are not qualify to supervise a child's activities. The court when nuts on these lawyers and through this whole warning out since they did not like the fact that because the parent failed as a parent was not a reason the company could not be sued.
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      08-23-2010, 02:15 PM   #41
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On one side of those "party popper" things (you pull the string and it pops and shoots out confetti):

"WARNING: Flammable"

On the other side of the same party popper:

"Flameproof: Contains 0.25 grains of powder or less"

d'oh
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      08-23-2010, 04:37 PM   #42
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You all seen the warning that say "use under adult supervision" when I live in CA I saw the following warning on a side of kids blow up pool.

"Use Under Competent Supervision"

At first I thought it was very odd warning, then I thought about it awhile and realize a really good lawyer came up with this for this toy company. What this warning is really saying is if you allow your kid to be harmed by this pool you incompetent and they could prove you were not competent to supervise your kid since your kid got hurt or died.

Well a case did go to court some years later and the courts did not like this tactic, because the lawyers did exactly what I thought they would do, which was to attack the adult as being incompetent because they allowed their kid to be hurt therefore they were not competent to allow their child to use the toy.

The lawyer argued by saying using under adult supervision was not an adequate warning since there are many adult who are not qualify to supervise a child's activities. The court when nuts on these lawyers and through this whole warning out since they did not like the fact that because the parent failed as a parent was not a reason the company could not be sued.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE

God damnit this stuff pisses me off. How do so many moron judges with fail logic get put into courtrooms? That warning was more than adequate. If the supervisor allows the child to be harmed by the pool then they are incompetent. It is as simple as that.

Lawyer was smart, judge was retarded.
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      08-23-2010, 04:55 PM   #43
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      08-23-2010, 05:42 PM   #44
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I could write PAGES describing all the stupid shit I get called to, but I'll use this one as an illustrative example: Dispatched to an illegal fireworks call. Arrive and find guy with his head blown off lying near a 6" diameter mortar tube. Relatives say the mortar didn't go of so he went over to look at it and it went off when he put his head over the tube. Some hillbilly uncle or cousin said they were gonna sue the fireworks company. Yeah, he illegally obtained fireworks, disregarded safety labels and you are going to sue??? Good luck with that.

Watch the movie idiocracy with Luke Wilson and tell me we aren't headed to that existence eventually.
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