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      12-16-2006, 06:29 AM   #1
eclivia
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need advice on my lil sister.

my sister is 18, first caught her smoking for a guy that broke up with her for only 1 month. dont know if she stop or not but i yell at her and hopefully she stop. now i am here and my parents here waiting for her impatiently to be home.it is 4.41 am. i found out she went to a party and found out that she is drunk.so i need some advice when she come home(hopefully safely), what should i say or do? i was thinking about taking her phone and car away from her. dont know if its a good idea or not, any input would be appreaciated.i am piss and worry and i cant sleep dammit.i need some really good advice and no joking plz not in the mood.
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      12-16-2006, 06:41 AM   #2
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yup, yellin at her is REAL smart. all she's gonna do is rebel MORE.

let her sober up and just TALK to her. Ask her what's going on.... and WAIT FOR HER ANSWER. Ask her what's she's feeling and that you WILL NOT yell at her you just want to know what's in her heart that makes her feel like doing these things.

LISTEN to her. All of this may just be a deep seeded cry for attention from YOU.

Don't berate her, listen to her, let her know how her actions make you feel without being angry

and you go from there. just listen, don't interupt her. listen
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      12-16-2006, 07:00 AM   #3
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we had a talk before.but this time is worst, i found out that she is drunk and its 508am and she is not home yet.i havent yell at her yet, she not even home yet.it piss me off becuase my mom been crying for hours and not asleep yet.i told her many many time soft and yelling, that she need to call home if she gonna go home late.right now i am piss becuase she didnt call home and not picking up my phone call, and i am hella worry if she got caught drinking or got in some trouble.the latest she been home was like 1-2 am and now is 5 am. i found out that she is with 2 guy and drunk. so theres alot of thoughts in my head.when she come home, i just want her to be good and if she go out than call home, and be responible, i know i cant stop her from doing anything, but i been thru that age and im a guy so its different. but i just want her to know whats she doing. a lil confused of what i should say when she come home.basicly dont want my mom to get worry,she old , dont want anything to happen to her.
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      12-16-2006, 07:25 AM   #4
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she i call the cops and look for the car?the car is not under her name, so i can call and say she stole it?
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      12-16-2006, 07:42 AM   #5
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she is a teenage girl, not much you can do but let things run their course and how she isnt a mom before she realizes what she is doing is stupid.
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      12-16-2006, 08:17 AM   #6
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fuk im done with her. stressing me out hella bad and havent slept yet. its 6:30am and she aint home yet. letting it out on here help a lil bit.i need to sleep!!! got a date tonight, dont want to be tired.fuk she can do whatever she wants and when she come home ill just let the parents do the job.gnite(hopefully i can sleep)
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      12-16-2006, 09:11 AM   #7
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      12-16-2006, 09:54 AM   #8
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yup, yellin at her is REAL smart. all she's gonna do is rebel MORE.

let her sober up and just TALK to her. Ask her what's going on.... and WAIT FOR HER ANSWER. Ask her what's she's feeling and that you WILL NOT yell at her you just want to know what's in her heart that makes her feel like doing these things.

LISTEN to her. All of this may just be a deep seeded cry for attention from YOU.

Don't berate her, listen to her, let her know how her actions make you feel without being angry

and you go from there. just listen, don't interupt her. listen
listening wont work man... you gatta be stricked with her, take her car away, take her cell away... wtf she's ganna do ? she'll be pissed yes, but it's for her own good... I hate todays parents who "listen" and don't do sh!t... "oh, she did white, lets listen to her and not yell" are you INSANE !?
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      12-16-2006, 10:01 AM   #9
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Being that she is 18, I would give her a choice. Either abide by the rules of the house or get out. Seems like you have tried the talking thing, so move on to the next step. She needs to grow up and learn to respect her parents.
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      12-16-2006, 10:06 AM   #10
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life is a learning experience... each person is different. let her fall so she can get up by herself. kids today... including me forget why we're here and what we're meant to do. i didn't try aclohol until my senior year and even as i did i have never been drunk... always been responsible enough to know im able to go home. even now... i have a stash of about 40 bottles of various alcohol.... and i seldom drink it (kills the muscles ;D) i dunno its all relative to the person... some are more mature than others.
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      12-16-2006, 10:50 AM   #11
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well its 9 am and i still havent slept yet and she is not home yet.last thing i heard from her friend was she was really drunk with 2 guys.during the wait i finish washing my car, clean and polish the interior and now im here sitting at the comp waiting for her.i am getting to the point to call the cops.
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      12-16-2006, 11:16 AM   #12
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      12-16-2006, 11:22 AM   #13
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Having also had a younger sister, I can understand your worries and frustrations, but isn't it your parents who should be laying down and imposing the ground rules?
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      12-16-2006, 11:25 AM   #14
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She is only growing up man! Talk to her but also give her a break.
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      12-16-2006, 11:50 AM   #15
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When she does get home don't berate her, don't yell at her. Give her a big brotherly hug and tell her you're glad she's home OK. If she wants to talk let her talk...you listen. If she doesn't want to talk, as much as you will want to don't press.

Hope she's OK.
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      12-16-2006, 11:58 AM   #16
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What??
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      12-16-2006, 12:17 PM   #17
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Is she home yet?? hope she's ok...

im not a parent and im only 22, but i hope i can help...

im with most members here, dont yell at her or anything, if she wants to talk listen...

if she doesnt talk, and she's drunk, wait till she's up, and THEN talk to her, give her a big brother talk, ask her what's going on, and focus on the point that ur her brother not father, so she can tell u anything she wants to...

also, ask her if she wants to end up bieng a big loser and get into troubles, and maybe JAIL
give her examples of people started just like her and ended up wasting thier whole life...

if she's not home yet u might wanna consider calling the police, somthing bad might happened...

good luck...
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      12-16-2006, 12:21 PM   #18
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man......i'm so glad my 5 sisters turned out "okay!"
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      12-16-2006, 01:06 PM   #19
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We need a female's perspective on this :P

Next time, if there is a next time, know where she's going for the party so you can go over there and pick her up, especially if she isn't answering and you know she's drunk. Cos you know ish happens at parties when drinking is involved.
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      12-16-2006, 01:27 PM   #20
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she is finally home. i was talking to her closest friend and found out that she stay at some dude house.i had to beg and shit like that to find that out.but once i heard that, i was so heated, so when she got home,she was drunk,look shitty as hell,and drove home, thank god she didnt get pull over.she so stupid, her friend was picking her up but noo she drove home. omg i was sooo piss and wanted to hit her sooo bad,but i didnt, than yell at her(couldnt control it), took her car keys, broke her phone, and took her internet away.so basicly she has nothin right now.i dont know its good or bad but i told her that, she need to be on her best behavior to get each thing back.i know she be meeting random people online(dam my******* tats y i took her internet away.btw we are asian so we are really strict.
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      12-16-2006, 01:33 PM   #21
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Quote:
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We need a female's perspective on this :P

Next time, if there is a next time, know where she's going for the party so you can go over there and pick her up, especially if she isn't answering and you know she's drunk. Cos you know ish happens at parties when drinking is involved.
true, i didnt even notice she went out.its the first time she went out and slept over some dude house.yesterday after work i went home took a shower and went to sleep early to get rdy for my date today.woke up at 2 something like that to get a drink than my mom start yelling.so i start calling her friends(phone bill)dam they are all loyal,dont know this and that.till the morning comes.i ask her What are u gonna do now?no phone,no internet,no car.she didnt answer me.but dam now i have to take her and pick her up from work and school.
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      12-16-2006, 01:39 PM   #22
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ya im 17 a little younger then your sister but i definently know what is going through guys's heads when their drunk and at parties. Whats even worse is the girls at this age go crazy every day they have the chance to. Thank god she came home safely. She did a very stupid thing driving home drunk, but at least no real damage came from it. Staying at a guys house...well I dont know what your parents are going to do about that, but if i were them it wouldnt be a pretty sight. Just thank god she came home ok and no real damage came from her getting drunk and staying out past the next day lol
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