BMW M3 Forum (E90 E92)

BMW Garage BMW Meets Register Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read


Go Back   M3Post - BMW M3 Forum > BIMMERPOST Universal Forums > Off-Topic Discussions Board > Politics/Religion
 
Evolve Automotive
Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      03-20-2009, 02:35 PM   #1
J.P.
Close to bein Bannned
J.P.'s Avatar
United_States
57
Rep
5,068
Posts

 
Drives: Pussy Magnet
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Hunterdon, NJ

iTrader: (0)

Send a message via AIM to J.P.
Are you a Democrat, Republican, or a Redneck?

What would you do ?

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:





You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you,
screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?


.................................................. ... ........

THINK CAREFULLY AND
THEN SCROLL DOWN:















Democrat's
Answer :

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.


.................................................. .................................................. ..... .............


Republican's
Answer:


BANG!


.................................................. .................................................. ...... ............


Redneck's Answer:


BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG !
Click..... (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hydrashocks?! '

Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist
__________________

Quote:
Originally Posted by sexye92 View Post
JERRYS MOM= BEST HEAD OF MY LIFE
Appreciate 0
      03-20-2009, 02:46 PM   #2
SiNiStErE92
First Lieutenant
SiNiStErE92's Avatar
21
Rep
312
Posts

 
Drives: 335i
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Fl

iTrader: (0)

Guess ima REDNECK
__________________

One stop shop for all your detailing needs
Appreciate 0
      03-20-2009, 02:53 PM   #3
Nixon
Banned
21
Rep
1,396
Posts

 
Drives: :
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: :

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by JP_335xi View Post
What would you do ?

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:





You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you,
screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?


.................................................. ... ........

THINK CAREFULLY AND
THEN SCROLL DOWN:















Democrat's
Answer :

The Father realizes he has plenty of time, and calmly pulls his gun without firing. The "terrorist" stops and says "Happy Halloween, Dad!" and takes off the fake beard.

Father is glad that he isn't paranoid and violent. And he's glad that he calmly realized how low of a probability it was for a lone Islamic Terrorist to be attacking random families on the street with a big knife -- and that there was probably a more likely explanation for the situation.

.................................................. .................................................. ..... .............


Republican's
Answer:


BANG!

Wife: Dang it! That's the second son I've had to replace that you've shot. I'm getting tired of being bare-foot and pregnant.

.................................................. .................................................. ...... ............


Redneck's Answer:


BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG !
Click..... (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click

Daughter: 'daddy, you just shot my real father!"

Son: 'you just shot my brother'

Wife: 'you just shot my lover'


Corrected.

Last edited by Nixon; 03-20-2009 at 03:30 PM.
Appreciate 0
      03-20-2009, 03:53 PM   #4
JB135i
Lieutenant
5
Rep
478
Posts

 
Drives: 135i
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: SW burbs

iTrader: (0)

Nixon your answers are actually pretty funny, I will give you some props.

You are wrong, but still funny....
Appreciate 0
      03-20-2009, 04:50 PM   #5
sayemthree
Brigadier General
sayemthree's Avatar
128
Rep
4,845
Posts

 
Drives: bmw
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: usa

iTrader: (0)

the redneck could not afford to carry the kimber 911 - he would grab the squirrel rifle fro, the pickem up truck.
Appreciate 0
      03-20-2009, 08:14 PM   #6
scollins
Bootleggin' 'n Gunrunnin'
scollins's Avatar
No_Country
35
Rep
2,345
Posts

 
Drives: 2010 e70 X5 35d
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Renton, WA

iTrader: (3)

A whole host of things wrong with that joke, but the two big ones:

1.) The average Democrat is typically mortified when it comes to guns, so they wouldn't have one to begin with.

2.) Kimber's are crap! Well I should qualify that statement, post-Oregon Kimbers are crap! Springfield Armory is the way to go for a "production" M1911.


__________________
Scott
2010 E70 X5 35d
Alpine White on Black with Dark Bamboo trim
ZAP | ZCW | ZPP | ZPS | ZRC | ZTP | 322 | 328 | 330 | 386 | 4AZ | 4UB | 655 | 6FL | 6NF
2008 Ducati 1098S Red naturally....
Appreciate 0
      03-20-2009, 11:42 PM   #7
sayemthree
Brigadier General
sayemthree's Avatar
128
Rep
4,845
Posts

 
Drives: bmw
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: usa

iTrader: (0)

well since he is from the tri state area I would imagine all three of the people would be arrested for having an illegal gun.
Appreciate 0
      03-22-2009, 11:27 AM   #8
J.P.
Close to bein Bannned
J.P.'s Avatar
United_States
57
Rep
5,068
Posts

 
Drives: Pussy Magnet
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Hunterdon, NJ

iTrader: (0)

Send a message via AIM to J.P.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sayemthree View Post
well since he is from the tri state area I would imagine all three of the people would be arrested for having an illegal gun.
I have a license.
I use to have a carry permit a few years back, but i dont have it anymore...
__________________

Quote:
Originally Posted by sexye92 View Post
JERRYS MOM= BEST HEAD OF MY LIFE
Appreciate 0
      03-22-2009, 10:09 PM   #9
sayemthree
Brigadier General
sayemthree's Avatar
128
Rep
4,845
Posts

 
Drives: bmw
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: usa

iTrader: (0)

didnt think any of the tri states allowed carry. ? you have to have a lic. just to own one? aaaaghghgh!
Appreciate 0
      03-22-2009, 10:25 PM   #10
ruxp
Captain
16
Rep
700
Posts

 
Drives: 2008 BMW 335xi
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Minneapolis

iTrader: (1)

Are you a brainless turd?

Read this and think carefully, then scroll down:

Is your username JP_335xi and/or did you find this idiotic thread funny?



........












If you answered yes, you're a brainless turd.
Appreciate 0
      03-22-2009, 11:46 PM   #11
Hoothout
Colonel
Hoothout's Avatar
United_States
30
Rep
2,799
Posts

 
Drives: 2008 BMW E92 328i
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Brentwood, TN

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2008 e92 328i  [0.00]
this is retarded...
__________________
2008 SG E92 328i
iDrive,Premium Pkg,Sport Pkg,Cold Weather pkg,Black Dakota Leather,GP Thunder 8500k cornering,drl,and foglights, ,Blacked Out Grills,Painted Reflectors,Shadowline Emblems,Hardwired Beltronics V-995, AFE Intake, Muffler Delete, Berger tune
Appreciate 0
      03-24-2009, 02:50 PM   #12
J.P.
Close to bein Bannned
J.P.'s Avatar
United_States
57
Rep
5,068
Posts

 
Drives: Pussy Magnet
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Hunterdon, NJ

iTrader: (0)

Send a message via AIM to J.P.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sayemthree View Post
didnt think any of the tri states allowed carry. ? you have to have a lic. just to own one? aaaaghghgh!
You can carry if you HAD a PI license. NJ no longer allows PI's to carry weapons. Besides tasers..
__________________

Quote:
Originally Posted by sexye92 View Post
JERRYS MOM= BEST HEAD OF MY LIFE
Appreciate 0
      03-24-2009, 10:17 PM   #13
sayemthree
Brigadier General
sayemthree's Avatar
128
Rep
4,845
Posts

 
Drives: bmw
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: usa

iTrader: (0)

ah. PI lic. got it.
Appreciate 0
Post Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:04 AM.




m3post
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST