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      07-07-2006, 02:12 PM   #1
Josh49
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It's Friday, 3:20. Tell a good/funny story to help the last hour go by..

They should officially cancel this whole week of work.

One more hour to go.. I'll start...
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      07-07-2006, 02:23 PM   #2
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Today a co-worker asks me to run to Sears for a part we needed in the lab. It's gorgeous out, and I was dying all morning to be out driving the e90. Got what I needed, I'm getting back in my car. As I am starting the car and opening the windows a huge dragonfly flies into my car and hits me in the face and scares the crap out of me. I of course get out of my car as fast as possible in the middle of the parking lot, Tommy Boy style (the scene with the bees), to get away from the monster. I have no clue at this point whether or not it's still in the car. I slowly walk over to the driver's door that is open and hit the buttons to open all the windows. A second later built up the confidence to reach in and open the sunroof. So I'm standing outside of my car in the middle of the parking lot, windows/sunroof open, music on loud, a little old lady taps me on the shoulder (scared the crap out of me too, I had no idea she was there) to ask if everything was okay. I laughed really hard I had no clue anyone saw what happened... Told her about the monster and as I was telling her about it it flew out of my car.. She commented that the dragonfly liked the car and the music... Thought the whole situation was really hilarious, and its 81 and sunny, so being outside was incredible...
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      07-07-2006, 02:29 PM   #3
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this is one of my top 3 favorite life stories. i tell everyone. haha. this one night in new york, me and 6 of my friends stayed at this random girls house in new york city. and when one of my friends was locked in this girls room, doing who knows what. the rest of us went onto her roof, and took EVERYTHING from her kitchen, including, but not limited to, ketchup, salsa, a box of cereal, flour, jello, ice cream, mustard, gatorade, and threw it off her roof. LITERALLY everything she had in her kitchen. as i turn around to go get the last of the stuff, this chinaman was coming out of the roof. he was pissed. not cause we were throwing food off the roof, he didnt even notice that, but because we were running ontop of his house. so we dove in the window, and woke up one of my friends who was sleeping. and he yelled at the chinaman, and said there were no people out there, and that he was alone in the house, and the chinaman had just woke him up by banging on his door. so at 4 o clock in the morning we left new york city before the cops came. when we left the one kid that was in the girls room was like, why did we leave at 4 in the morning, and as he is asking, im driivng in a huge circle around the apartment, and i was like THATS why we are leaving, and pointed , and it was everytyhing that belongs inside of a kitchen, all over the street.
fun times.
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      07-07-2006, 02:31 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh49
Today a co-worker asks me to run to Sears for a part we needed in the lab. It's gorgeous out, and I was dying all morning to be out driving the e90. Got what I needed, I'm getting back in my car. As I am starting the car and opening the windows a huge dragonfly flies into my car and hits me in the face and scares the crap out of me. I of course get out of my car as fast as possible in the middle of the parking lot, Tommy Boy style (the scene with the bees), to get away from the monster. I have no clue at this point whether or not it's still in the car. I slowly walk over to the driver's door that is open and hit the buttons to open all the windows. A second later built up the confidence to reach in and open the sunroof. So I'm standing outside of my car in the middle of the parking lot, windows/sunroof open, music on loud, a little old lady taps me on the shoulder (scared the crap out of me too, I had no idea she was there) to ask if everything was okay. I laughed really hard I had no clue anyone saw what happened... Told her about the monster and as I was telling her about it it flew out of my car.. She commented that the dragonfly liked the car and the music... Thought the whole situation was really hilarious, and its 81 and sunny, so being outside was incredible...
thats pretty funny bro,man its only 12:40 here (lucky)
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      07-07-2006, 02:32 PM   #5
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was the guy actually chinese, or do you call all asian guys "chinamen"?

knock knock.
who's there?
21st century.
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      07-07-2006, 02:34 PM   #6
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i think she lived like above a chinesse resturant. i have no idea man. hope i didnt offend anyone.
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      07-07-2006, 02:35 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cdheaven
this is one of my top 3 favorite life stories. i tell everyone. haha. this one night in new york, me and 6 of my friends stayed at this random girls house in new york city. and when one of my friends was locked in this girls room, doing who knows what. the rest of us went onto her roof, and took EVERYTHING from her kitchen, including, but not limited to, ketchup, salsa, a box of cereal, flour, jello, ice cream, mustard, gatorade, and threw it off her roof. LITERALLY everything she had in her kitchen. as i turn around to go get the last of the stuff, this chinaman was coming out of the roof. he was pissed. not cause we were throwing food off the roof, he didnt even notice that, but because we were running ontop of his house. so we dove in the window, and woke up one of my friends who was sleeping. and he yelled at the chinaman, and said there were no people out there, and that he was alone in the house, and the chinaman had just woke him up by banging on his door. so at 4 o clock in the morning we left new york city before the cops came. when we left the one kid that was in the girls room was like, why did we leave at 4 in the morning, and as he is asking, im driivng in a huge circle around the apartment, and i was like THATS why we are leaving, and pointed , and it was everytyhing that belongs inside of a kitchen, all over the street.
fun times.
good story..
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      07-07-2006, 02:37 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by BadBob
You've been in the lab too long. Dragonflies are harmless.
That was one large beast!! When you're sitting in your car and that thing flaps it's 100 wings, flies directly into your face, and then spits in your face and calls you a jackass, you would have dove out your car as well!!
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      07-07-2006, 02:42 PM   #9
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flaps its 100 wings and spits in your face. haha.
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      07-07-2006, 02:46 PM   #10
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well i dont know bout you guys but i really have to poop
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      07-07-2006, 02:47 PM   #11
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So a buddy of mine was sexin' some chick the other night; somewhat of a grudge fuck. Nevertheless, while he was Amtrak'n her in the doggystyle position, he was also fingering her chocolate starfish. He then decides to take that finger that he was using to finagle her balloon knot, and stick it in her mouth. It required only seconds for her to realize what he had done, and she became highly pissed. She threw him out of her apartment while tossing pencils, books, and anything else that she could get her hands on in his direction. My friend is crazy.


....then he boned her again last night. I think he likes pissing her off!
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      07-07-2006, 02:49 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan
So a buddy of mine was sexin' some chick the other night; somewhat of a grudge fuck. Nevertheless, while he was Amtrak'n her in the doggystyle position, he was also fingering her chocolate starfish. He then decides to take that finger that he was using to finagle her balloon knot, and stick it in her mouth. It required only seconds for her to realize what he had done, and she became highly pissed. She threw him out of her apartment while tossing pencils, books, and anything else that she could get her hands on in his direction. My friend is crazy.


....then he boned her again last night. I think he likes pissing her off!
holy crap man, that's like the raunchiest story ahahah ewww. now she's gonna have e. coli poisoning.
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      07-07-2006, 02:53 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan
So a buddy of mine was sexin' some chick the other night; somewhat of a grudge fuck. Nevertheless, while he was Amtrak'n her in the doggystyle position, he was also fingering her chocolate starfish. He then decides to take that finger that he was using to finagle her balloon knot, and stick it in her mouth. It required only seconds for her to realize what he had done, and she became highly pissed. She threw him out of her apartment while tossing pencils, books, and anything else that she could get her hands on in his direction. My friend is crazy.


....then he boned her again last night. I think he likes pissing her off!
WinnAr!

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This story gives a whole new meaning to "Tastes like sh!t" .
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      07-07-2006, 02:53 PM   #14
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Ok i got a story.. haha this happened about 10-12 years ago. I was about 11.

Anyway, my entire family vacationed together in San Felipe, Mexico. I'd say there were about 15 of us. So it was my aunts, cousins, uncles, my brothers, my parents.

On the way to San Felipe we stopped in Tijuana because my uncle had to stop and get gas. So as hes filling up, some little kids came over and distracted him, when he looked back at the pump, it was ridicuslousy expensive. He went over to the cashier and refused to pay. So they called the Federali and they showed up with machine guns. So my uncle paid it off and we left.

So a couple days later, my cousin finds this weird necklace on the beach. He thought it was cool and decided to wear it. After he put this on, he had the WORST luck. He got rope burn from the boat. He scraped his face on a rock, my brother's leg hit him in the head when they went diving..etc.

So one night we all went out to eat dinner. After went back to the hotel, and all of a sudden ALL OF US got the Runs. I mean, every single person. We ended up having to call the Plumber 15x, and he got so mad that he left the plunger w/ us in the hotel. So since all the tiolets were broken, my dad had to shat in a trashcan inside the room. HAHAHA..

Anyway that was one of our many family outings.
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      07-07-2006, 02:55 PM   #15
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The Best Story Of Them All !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My rims are suppose to come in today!!! true story!!!!!
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      07-07-2006, 02:56 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BellasBmw
Ok i got a story.. haha this happened about 10-12 years ago. I was about 11.

Anyway, my entire family vacationed together in San Felipe, Mexico. I'd say there were about 15 of us. So it was my aunts, cousins, uncles, my brothers, my parents.

On the way to San Felipe we stopped in Tijuana because my uncle had to stop and get gas. So as hes filling up, some little kids came over and distracted him, when he looked back at the pump, it was ridicuslousy expensive. He went over to the cashier and refused to pay. So they called the Federali and they showed up with machine guns. So my uncle paid it off and we left.

So a couple days later, my cousin finds this weird necklace on the beach. He thought it was cool and decided to wear it. After he put this on, he had the WORST luck. He got rope burn from the boat. He scraped his face on a rock, my brother's leg hit him in the head when they went diving..etc.

So one night we all went out to eat dinner. After went back to the hotel, and all of a sudden ALL OF US got the Runs. I mean, every single person. We ended up having to call the Plumber 15x, and he got so mad that he left the plunger w/ us in the hotel. So since all the tiolets were broken, my dad had to shat in a trashcan inside the room. HAHAHA..

Anyway that was one of our many family outings.


Bellas: +1
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      07-07-2006, 02:58 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BellasBmw
Ok i got a story.. haha this happened about 10-12 years ago. I was about 11.

Anyway, my entire family vacationed together in San Felipe, Mexico. I'd say there were about 15 of us. So it was my aunts, cousins, uncles, my brothers, my parents.

On the way to San Felipe we stopped in Tijuana because my uncle had to stop and get gas. So as hes filling up, some little kids came over and distracted him, when he looked back at the pump, it was ridicuslousy expensive. He went over to the cashier and refused to pay. So they called the Federali and they showed up with machine guns. So my uncle paid it off and we left.

So a couple days later, my cousin finds this weird necklace on the beach. He thought it was cool and decided to wear it. After he put this on, he had the WORST luck. He got rope burn from the boat. He scraped his face on a rock, my brother's leg hit him in the head when they went diving..etc.

So one night we all went out to eat dinner. After went back to the hotel, and all of a sudden ALL OF US got the Runs. I mean, every single person. We ended up having to call the Plumber 15x, and he got so mad that he left the plunger w/ us in the hotel. So since all the tiolets were broken, my dad had to shat in a trashcan inside the room. HAHAHA..

Anyway that was one of our many family outings.
almost like the brady bunch in HAWAII
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      07-07-2006, 03:00 PM   #18
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I thought I was the only one waiting for this day to end. 3 day work week feels like a month.. It sucks

My contribution..
One night me and a bunch of my buddies were in a lounge/club in NYC. One of my friends who can't see to well in the dark decides to pinch some girl's ass while she was walking by. We are all just standing next to each other enjoying a few alcoholic beverages. When she got pinched, she looks at me and points at me, trying to figure out who did it. I slyly pointed in my friend's direction (the one that did it). He didn't see me point because he turned around as soon as he pinched her ass. All of sudden she goes up to him and smacks him in the face. It was a loud smack too. You heard it over the music. He still doesn't know how she found out it was him. HAA!
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      07-07-2006, 03:01 PM   #19
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My rims are suppose to come in today!!! true story!!!!!
Nice, which ones? Maybe if they have deep lips you could send them to Bellas, help her family out?
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      07-07-2006, 03:06 PM   #20
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Some bird made a nest right above our office building's front door and we all thought it was cute. Now that the chicks have hatched the bird is dive bombing every single person that enters and leaves the building! It seriously must be exhausted. It is flying around in cirlces heading right for your head and turns at the last second.

People-watching out the windows is at an all time high. A maintenance guy just got buzzed and he took a 2x4 out of the back of his truck and was swinging at the dive-bombing bird.

I hope those babies grow up quick b/c if enough people complain....

Anyway, happy friday -- thanks for the stories... even the mean theft/litter one.
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      07-07-2006, 03:07 PM   #21
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Nice, which ones? Maybe if they have deep lips you could send them to Bellas, help her family out?

these ones .. .i know they are unique.
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      07-07-2006, 03:08 PM   #22
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holy crap man, that's like the raunchiest story ahahah ewww. now she's gonna have e. coli poisoning.
And she's a cutie too. My friend is just having emotional issues right now (..and I can relate), so he's taking it out on random girls that he messes with. He's trying to make women hate him, but ironically, it's drawing them to him. Go figure!
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