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      07-05-2006, 11:34 AM   #1
BellasBmw
If love is the answer,please rephrase the question
 
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This girl sucks...

I'm just gonna write this for the hell of it, and see what you all have to say..

Im sure you've seen pics of me and my best friend Trang. We've known each other for about 2 1/2 years, and we became very close in the past 9 months. We traveled to NYC together, she helped me deal w/ all the shit my X put me through, she lived at my house for 4 months, she helps out at my restaurant, we did everything together..etc.

Well about 6 weeks ago, she told me that she was laid off from one of her jobs, and thought it would b best to move back w/ her parents rather than get another job. She said this way we can hang out more, and she could save money. It sucked, but i agreed w/ her. SO.. we went from seeing each other every single day, to nothing.

Im so irritated cause ive always been that person to call, email, text to keep in contact with my friends. Now i barely ever hear from her, shes never called to have lunch, go to the beach..nothing. We planned on having a balls out summer, since im leaving soon. She told me that she would have a few days off that way we can go to the beach..etc. Now those few days off she has are going to volunteering at a bird shelter. Now we arent talking about cool ass birds, we're talking about fu*king pigeons, finches, and sea gulls. RATS W/ WINGS!

Now she just emailed me and told me that she got a job at this volunteer place , so shes gonna have to drop her shift at my restaurant. It sucks because its total short notice, i need the help, and that was the 1 day a week we'd actually see each other.

This is why i cant have girlfriends, i dont get it. I mean we go from being super close, to barely talking. Yet, im doing about 95% of the communication w/ her. Sometimes i just wanna say Fuck this all, and move away w/ out even saying goodbye to her. :mad:

Ugh, i needed to vent.
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      07-05-2006, 11:42 AM   #2
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Sounds like the new set of circumstances/environment came with a new set of seeing things/perspective, y'know the classic things move on, different social circle, different interests kinda of thing. It sucks but it happens.

Seeing it another way it seems like she has new interests, now I know not the nature of your relationship before but perhaps communication and compromise might salvage your friendship. There is always a middle ground, you can't have things the way they were but understand that the very nature of relationships is one that is dynamic as well, so you have to flow with her. Does that make sense?
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      07-05-2006, 11:42 AM   #3
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happens with guys too. i have guy friends like that. sucks at first but you realize when you get to that age, like early 20's, people move, find other things to do, make new friends etc. its life. I'm friends with a guy i knew since i was 3. a few years ago, he totally distanced himself from me, and another old friend. no reason, just did it. i haven't seen him in 2 years, and we were best friends and again, been best friends for 20 years or so (at the time, i'm 28 now). This was at around college time. We even went to the same college, he stayed back in Austin, I came back to Houston. Just plain weird. And I see him online, he is on my messenger list everyday, but I wont IM him because I have made more than a number of invitations to hang out etc. he just totally weirded out.
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      07-05-2006, 11:48 AM   #4
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Yep, I was best friends with this kid I knew since I was 13. When he took off for college, I practically never heard from him again. I used to call him for the first two years, but it seemed like I was bothering him, so I stopped calling him and now I haven't even talked to him in about 3 years.

Kinda weird going from being best friends with someone to never seeing them again, but life goes on i guess.
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      07-05-2006, 11:50 AM   #5
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maybe she's jelouse ? you're prettier, you got nicer car, bet you that you got more money, seems like you got stable family, when you're out every guy wants to do you and not her, you get more attention... but then again, if she was a good friend everything i said wouldn't metter...
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      07-05-2006, 11:51 AM   #6
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I see what you guys are saying, and to tell you the truth..trang and i are total opposites.

Shes a couple years older than me, but shes totally conservative. Im outgoing, i like to go out, im talkative, funny, goofy, i dont make my bed every morning..etc.

Trang is quiet, likes to read, she doesnt go to the beach, she doesnt drink (i dnt really either, but hey once in a while is ok), she doesnt (LoL), shes basically a buzzkill. Shes been w/ her man for 5 years, so on the weekends she goes up to see him. I mean she has great qualities, she helped me to do well this past semester, she keeps me grounded and focused. However, i want that partner in crime to go out and paint the town red w/. Shes intersted in this bird saving shit, but i still act involved when she talks to me about it. I mention the world cup games and she cuts me off in about .04 seconds and tells me how she doesnt care. Im like ooo ok. ??

So i guess the different interests and moving on is starting to kick in. Sad.

Flush- I actually kinda agree with what your saying. When we went to vegas, i was getting a lot of attention, and of course i never actually let it get to my head. Im not like that. So when i would tell her about all the lame ass pickup lines, she would totally brush it off and change the subject.
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      07-05-2006, 11:58 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BellasBmw
I see what you guys are saying, and to tell you the truth..trang and i are total opposites.

Shes a couple years older than me, but shes totally conservative. Im outgoing, i like to go out, im talkative, funny, goofy, i dont make my bed every morning..etc.

Trang is quiet, likes to read, she doesnt go to the beach, she doesnt drink (i dnt really either, but hey once in a while is ok), she doesnt (LoL), shes basically a buzzkill. Shes been w/ her man for 5 years, so on the weekends she goes up to see him. I mean she has great qualities, she helped me to do well this past semester, she keeps me grounded and focused. However, i want that partner in crime to go out and paint the town red w/..

So i guess the different interests and moving on is starting to kick in. Sad.
lemme tell you, with girls you can not have same type of friend as you are... you both cannot look good, there's no way two hot girls will be best friends for long, i've seen that many times.. that's why you kept as friends, the opposites of each other, if she was just like you she wouldn't be your friend for very long...
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      07-05-2006, 11:59 AM   #8
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It happens - hard to keep in touch with people but she has no excuse since she sees you every now and then at work and she's also in San Diego. Then again, she also knows you're leaving. Also, you seeing a man? That usually distances friends from friends - man when I was a bachelor I was Mr. Popular! Now with my woman I'm a recluse hermit living in a cave with two dogs.

That sucks though - I am about to leavy for NY too in a month and one of my homies I met 6 years ago as a frosh kid at college is trying to kick it with me as often as possible and said straight up, "since you're leaving soon, don't be a stranger".

I hate to say it, but maybe you and Trang were not meant to be - my woman lost a lot of friends due to distancing from myriads of reasons but she also has those select few friends who go out of their way and come visit her in San Diego from Oakland at least a couple times a year and additionally keep in touch through phone calls, birthday cards/gifts, etc.
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      07-05-2006, 12:00 PM   #9
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Maybe she is looking for more than just friend and she finally realized that it was not going to happen so she decided to move on.

In my world, there is no best friend, people will turn in a split second and stab you in the back.
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      07-05-2006, 12:02 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flush01
lyou both cannot look good, there's no way two hot girls will be best friends for long, i've seen that many times..
No way, jose. My woman has numerous hot friends and they are close, very close. Just another ill-conceived myth.
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      07-05-2006, 12:03 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by txusa03
In my world, there is no best friend, people will turn in a split second and stab you in the back.
Slowly veering off-topic but that's what family is for - I know my bros would never backstab me, if anybody in the world.
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      07-05-2006, 12:05 PM   #12
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Im not really seeing anyone. Ive been talking to this guy, originally hes from san diego, actually up the street from me. But he plays football for NMSU. So, whenever hes in town, we hang out.

I think what bugs me is that im always the same. I dont change. I mean unless you seriously pissed me off, im always cool to my friends. Whereas, she would go from 1 day being a cool ass girl, laughing, having fun.. to being a bitch. Quiet, reserved, stays in her room, barely talks.

Hmm, i mean i have 3 older brothers, i didnt have the opportunity to really have strong relationships with females. And to this day, i still only have 1 girlfriend that ive known since 13 yrs old. And shes in LA w/ her man.
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      07-05-2006, 12:06 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by Squawks
No way, jose. My woman has numerous hot friends and they are close, very close. Just another ill-conceived myth.
well i would need to see them... one can have nice ass, big tits, pretty face and other can have OK ass, big tits, pretty face so eventho they are both in 8-9/10 range there's still a flaw in the other girl ... and they will both know it kinda without telling each other, but they will know... there is always prettier friend
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      07-05-2006, 12:09 PM   #14
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Wow then, flush - and I thought L.A./So-Cal was the place reserved for pretentious, egotistic bimbos but apparently the disease has spread into Canada.

Thank goodness both me, my woman, and all our friends *coincidentally* happen to be from Nor Cal. So Cal sucks.
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      07-05-2006, 12:12 PM   #15
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i'm not going to lie on this, my friends situation really bothers me. What do you guys think i should do? I wouldn't care if he was a friend for 5 years or less, but this guy and i were like SUPER close, you can't even imagine. I have made several attempts to meet up with him, but something always comes up for him (which i think he's just trying to avoid). He never calls, and used to call me at 12:00 a.m. on my birthday and would sing happy bday to me on the phone (till we were like 18!). Everytime I get those chain emails on finding old friends and reuniting before its too late, life's too short, blah blah makes me feel worse about the situation. I just dont' know what the hell happened to him. I thought it was me, but then found out he has done this with other "old" friends as well (though none were as close as him and I, everyone knew we were best friends, and I always thought we'd grow old and remain awesome friends). I wonder if he's embarassed. While the rest of us left school, he took an extra long time. Then he opened up a shop and i heard its not doing too well. A bunch of reasons run through my head but I just dont know what it is. I don't want to ask him though, because that would then be officially acknowledging that something is wrong... but I think i should. But then my ego comes in the way and i wonder why the hell he doesn't take initiative.
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      07-05-2006, 12:13 PM   #16
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Wow then, flush - and I thought L.A./So-Cal was the place reserved for pretentious, egotistic bimbos but apparently the disease has spread into Canada.

Thank goodness both me, my woman, and all our friends *coincidentally* happen to be from Nor Cal. So Cal sucks.
im not saying everyone is like that... im just saying that chix ALWAYS compete with other chix, where guy wouldn't give a f@ck...
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      07-05-2006, 12:13 PM   #17
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Doesn't sound like she sucks really, just that she has different priorities. So does she just ignore your calls or just blow you off constantly?
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      07-05-2006, 12:13 PM   #18
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Slowly veering off-topic but that's what family is for - I know my bros would never backstab me, if anybody in the world.
agreed, we are slowly going off-course. agreed, my comment exclude my family.
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      07-05-2006, 12:14 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BellasBmw
I see what you guys are saying, and to tell you the truth..trang and i are total opposites.

Shes a couple years older than me, but shes totally conservative. Im outgoing, i like to go out, im talkative, funny, goofy, i dont make my bed every morning..etc.

Trang is quiet, likes to read, she doesnt go to the beach, she doesnt drink (i dnt really either, but hey once in a while is ok), she doesnt (LoL), shes basically a buzzkill. Shes been w/ her man for 5 years, so on the weekends she goes up to see him. I mean she has great qualities, she helped me to do well this past semester, she keeps me grounded and focused. However, i want that partner in crime to go out and paint the town red w/. Shes intersted in this bird saving shit, but i still act involved when she talks to me about it. I mention the world cup games and she cuts me off in about .04 seconds and tells me how she doesnt care. Im like ooo ok. ??

So i guess the different interests and moving on is starting to kick in. Sad.

Flush- I actually kinda agree with what your saying. When we went to vegas, i was getting a lot of attention, and of course i never actually let it get to my head. Im not like that. So when i would tell her about all the lame ass pickup lines, she would totally brush it off and change the subject.
Yeah I hear you, people are weird like that, what I can relate to is that I am pretty much like you in a way that if I have a close friend, I am really out there for them and consider myself a pretty loyal friend till the end. However, as I getting older now, I also realize people change overtime, and I say 90% of the time you don't get the same treatment in return regardless of how you treat them. I guess it's just the nature of people in general or maybe our expectation is too high. I am now adopting a new philiosophy, and pretty much treat all my friends in a causal way, if I feel like calling them, then I'll call them, and I just learn to not expect anything in return. It's sad, but the close friendship you see in some movies doesn't really exist anymore. At the end, the only person you can count on is yourself. Funny thing, now that I think about it, I have a "bro' that I grew up with since 6th grade, we used to be so close, he would even block the door if I try to leave earlier from playing Nintendo (a little obsessive), but now I can't even get the guy to hang out with me even if I offer to driving 30 miles to meet up..pretty sad really, I always considered him a bro even though he acted goofy all the time, and to think he would hang up on me if a girl he was interested in called him on the other line..talk about jacked up friendship.
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      07-05-2006, 12:14 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikki
Doesn't sound like she sucks really, just that she has different priorities. So does she just ignore your calls or just blow you off constantly?
Ill call her, she wont answer the first time. Then she'll call back and say she was busy.

She might have different priorties, but isnt keeping a friendship intact a priority? It is to me, so yea i guess we do have different priorities.
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      07-05-2006, 12:17 PM   #21
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Wait till you're 29 like me. I had friends since I was a kid and now that they are married they completely disappeared. Obviously were not gonna go out like we use to but come on. I have other friends who are married and still enjoy life we go watch the soccer games together and celebrate afterwards. The problem is that a lot guys get pussy whipped by their girlfriends.

If theirs one thing I notice is that girls tend to lose their friends more often then guys do. I've had the same friends since I've been 10 years old.
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      07-05-2006, 12:17 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flush01
maybe she's jelouse ? you're prettier, you got nicer car, bet you that you got more money, seems like you got stable family, when you're out every guy wants to do you and not her, you get more attention... but then again, if she was a good friend everything i said wouldn't metter...

What the hell would jealousy have to do w/ a change in an individual's life/financial situation? Oh boy, the logic!!!!!!!!!!!!

To the threadstarter, it seems to me that a change in her situation has caused her to find other outlets to keep her occupied. Maybe her priorities have shifted, and she finds joy in volunteering to help with animals. There is nothing inherently wrong with that.
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