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      10-03-2008, 03:39 AM   #89
DougLikesBMW
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Originally Posted by XOXO~BimmerGirl View Post
No need to apologize...I find it very attractive for a guy to open up like that! I know it may be hard and tough but it YOU see the red flags, you know what action is best to take. You can love and care ABOUT someone but NOT be IN LOVE with that same someone...do you know what I mean???....basically ppl change and if they change to the point where you are questioning then "is it really worth it???". After sharing and giving up something as important as your virginity (esp. for a girls) you may want to hang on as long as possible for the sake of the love you shared...but ask yourself "can that really or should that really be the determining factor for whether you stay with someone for the rest of your lives??!??!?!" Girls can get that way more so by the very reason that they are "stuck on your balls" physically and emotionally. Anyhow, good luck with your relationship...and whichever way it goes you know you did it ultimately for you and your future!

I feel like Dr. Phil or Oprah....hahaha...let me lighten up this entry with this...

I know, I've seen these red flags for a while, but part of me just keeps praying that she will change, but the other part of me tells me from everything I have heard and seen that people don't change. And I know what you mean about the fact that you can love someone and not be in love with them. She asked me that exact question.

I've tried to help her with her food issues for what seems like forever now, but from all of the people I have talked to they tell me that it shouldn't be up to me to feel like I have to "save her" and that I should just move on.

I've been looking through our pictures taken over the course of our relationship over the past couple weeks and I can't help but ask myself, what the hell happened? I was sitting in class today with my laptop open and as my desktop I had a picture of her from last summer's senior photoshoot. She was stunning then. The girl sitting next to me whom I asked to borrow a pencil from was like, "Oh is that your girlfriend?" and I was just thinking to myself, "Yes, or what used to be her." But I of course didn't say that.

I also feel like if I broke up with her now, she would get big time depressed. Her dog that she has had for 16 years of her life drowned in her pool the other month, and her grandfather just died. She tells me how she is so stressed out with her mother (the whackjob), school, being away from home (and me), and still the recent deaths.

Also she keeps bugging me to come visit her in San Marcos, Texas at the university she is attending. My school just evacuated from Galveston two weeks ago to the main campus of A&M in College Station. She acts like I have nothing to do. We have so much work ahead of us that I don't even have time to breath for myself, let alone worrying about driving 3 hours away to kick back, relax, and see her. I tell her my parents are bending over backwards for me to be her and I can't just be fooling around wasting this precious opportunity. I say that I will go see her when I have time, and that I would be there with her now if I could. And she says I don't even know where I fit into your life anymore. I'm like omfg, why can't you just be understanding?!?

She's going to be going back home next weekend, and I was thinking of heading back home that weekend as well to see her and see how I feel about things. I don't even know how I would go about breaking up. Do I tell her that I feel like she isn't the same girl that I fell in love with over a year ago? That she promised me that she would try her best to change for the better and didn't live up? Should I be 100% honest and tell her everything I feel? Or just simply tell her that I think we would be better off being friends (Yeah right, like that would be so easy)?

I'd post before and now pics, but I don't trust the internetz.

Thanks for the pic of Angelina, she definitely helped.
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      10-03-2008, 04:27 AM   #90
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uhhhh this thread took a major nose dive.

/THREAD.

people need some couples counseling off teh interwebz...best of luck.
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      10-03-2008, 10:57 AM   #91
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DougLikesBMW View Post
I also feel like if I broke up with her now, she would get big time depressed. Her dog that she has had for 16 years of her life drowned in her pool the other month, and her grandfather just died. She tells me how she is so stressed out with her mother (the whackjob), school, being away from home (and me), and still the recent deaths.

Also she keeps bugging me to come visit her in San Marcos, Texas at the university she is attending. My school just evacuated from Galveston two weeks ago to the main campus of A&M in College Station. She acts like I have nothing to do. We have so much work ahead of us that I don't even have time to breath for myself, let alone worrying about driving 3 hours away to kick back, relax, and see her. I tell her my parents are bending over backwards for me to be her and I can't just be fooling around wasting this precious opportunity. I say that I will go see her when I have time, and that I would be there with her now if I could. And she says I don't even know where I fit into your life anymore. I'm like omfg, why can't you just be understanding?!?

She's going to be going back home next weekend, and I was thinking of heading back home that weekend as well to see her and see how I feel about things. I don't even know how I would go about breaking up. Do I tell her that I feel like she isn't the same girl that I fell in love with over a year ago? That she promised me that she would try her best to change for the better and didn't live up? Should I be 100% honest and tell her everything I feel? Or just simply tell her that I think we would be better off being friends (Yeah right, like that would be so easy)?

I'd post before and now pics, but I don't trust the internetz.

Thanks for the pic of Angelina, she definitely helped.
You have to be honest with her man. And when you say, "...if I broke up with her she'd be depressed...." is you being too nice and concerned.

There's a point and time you have to really think about yourself, think realistically and do what's best for you. The way you're thinking now it sounds like you'll end up marrying her just because your concerned. Then you'll be even more miserable.

That's not to say you can't stay friends with her, although she'll definitely shut you out and go off the deep end. But you really need to tell her your issues/concerns with her.

Why can't she come visit you in CS? Sounds like you've done everything for her and she hasn't done a whole lot for you.

You really are in a tough prediciment, but you HAVE TO end the relationship. Have to. It's time to think about yourself.
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      10-03-2008, 12:34 PM   #92
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Originally Posted by Couch View Post
You have to be honest with her man. And when you say, "...if I broke up with her she'd be depressed...." is you being too nice and concerned.

There's a point and time you have to really think about yourself, think realistically and do what's best for you. The way you're thinking now it sounds like you'll end up marrying her just because your concerned. Then you'll be even more miserable.

That's not to say you can't stay friends with her, although she'll definitely shut you out and go off the deep end. But you really need to tell her your issues/concerns with her.

Why can't she come visit you in CS? Sounds like you've done everything for her and she hasn't done a whole lot for you.

You really are in a tough prediciment, but you HAVE TO end the relationship. Have to. It's time to think about yourself.
Thanks for the advice, Couch.

Well she can't come to CS because her parents won't allow her to drive all the way here.

Like I said I'm going to wait until next weekend, go home and see her, and then see how I feel. It's easy for the people I talk to to say that I should end it, which I know I should, it's just that when I think about everything we've shared together it makes it that much harder.
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      10-03-2008, 12:40 PM   #93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DougLikesBMW View Post
I know, I've seen these red flags for a while, but part of me just keeps praying that she will change, but the other part of me tells me from everything I have heard and seen that people don't change. And I know what you mean about the fact that you can love someone and not be in love with them. She asked me that exact question.

I've tried to help her with her food issues for what seems like forever now, but from all of the people I have talked to they tell me that it shouldn't be up to me to feel like I have to "save her" and that I should just move on.

I've been looking through our pictures taken over the course of our relationship over the past couple weeks and I can't help but ask myself, what the hell happened? I was sitting in class today with my laptop open and as my desktop I had a picture of her from last summer's senior photoshoot. She was stunning then. The girl sitting next to me whom I asked to borrow a pencil from was like, "Oh is that your girlfriend?" and I was just thinking to myself, "Yes, or what used to be her." But I of course didn't say that.

I also feel like if I broke up with her now, she would get big time depressed. Her dog that she has had for 16 years of her life drowned in her pool the other month, and her grandfather just died. She tells me how she is so stressed out with her mother (the whackjob), school, being away from home (and me), and still the recent deaths.

Also she keeps bugging me to come visit her in San Marcos, Texas at the university she is attending. My school just evacuated from Galveston two weeks ago to the main campus of A&M in College Station. She acts like I have nothing to do. We have so much work ahead of us that I don't even have time to breath for myself, let alone worrying about driving 3 hours away to kick back, relax, and see her. I tell her my parents are bending over backwards for me to be her and I can't just be fooling around wasting this precious opportunity. I say that I will go see her when I have time, and that I would be there with her now if I could. And she says I don't even know where I fit into your life anymore. I'm like omfg, why can't you just be understanding?!?

She's going to be going back home next weekend, and I was thinking of heading back home that weekend as well to see her and see how I feel about things. I don't even know how I would go about breaking up. Do I tell her that I feel like she isn't the same girl that I fell in love with over a year ago? That she promised me that she would try her best to change for the better and didn't live up? Should I be 100% honest and tell her everything I feel? Or just simply tell her that I think we would be better off being friends (Yeah right, like that would be so easy)?

I'd post before and now pics, but I don't trust the internetz.

Thanks for the pic of Angelina, she definitely helped.
hey man i hate to sound like an ass but it seems like she's dragging you down. it might be time to break it off. tell her that if she still wants to be with you, she needs to straighten her ways. if she really does care and love you she will change but if not you know she's not worth your time anymore. best of luck to you.
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      10-03-2008, 12:52 PM   #94
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Originally Posted by silvergray545 View Post
hey man i hate to sound like an ass but it seems like she's dragging you down. it might be time to break it off. tell her that if she still wants to be with you, she needs to straighten her ways. if she really does care and love you she will change but if not you know she's not worth your time anymore. best of luck to you.
Nah you don't sound like an ass. I don't feel like telling her to straighten her ways would change anything because I've done it too many times before and then been let down. Thanks for the advice. But, yeah I can see where you're coming from when you say "she's dragging you down". My buddy's girlfriend is always pushing him to go do his homework, study, etc. She is so understanding that it really boggles my mind as to why my girlfriend isn't like that.
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      10-03-2008, 01:02 PM   #95
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DougLikesBMW View Post
Nah you don't sound like an ass. I don't feel like telling her to straighten her ways would change anything because I've done it too many times before and then been let down. Thanks for the advice. But, yeah I can see where you're coming from when you say "she's dragging you down". My buddy's girlfriend is always pushing him to go do his homework, study, etc. She is so understanding that it really boggles my mind as to why my girlfriend isn't like that.
Good i didnt want to offend you or anything. it sounds like you have some serious thinking to do. i seriously think you should tell her that you want a break from the relationship and if she doesnt change, you dont want to be with her. it seems like the only way to get her to do something now it to threaten her.
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      10-03-2008, 01:51 PM   #96
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DougLikesBMW View Post
It's easy for the people I talk to to say that I should end it, which I know I should, it's just that when I think about everything we've shared together it makes it that much harder.
It's always easier for us who aren't in it, to make the decision for you.

I have 3 friends that have been engaged to get married, and then the girls went psycho and ended it. And they all know other people that have had it happen too. It seems there's a call every few months about it happening to someone new.

As hurt as they were, they've discovered after a period of time that things weren't so bad and that maybe it wasn't as meant to be as they thought.

"All we've been through" is every relationships 'noose'.

I wish you the best.
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      10-03-2008, 06:09 PM   #97
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It's always easier for us who aren't in it, to make the decision for you.

I have 3 friends that have been engaged to get married, and then the girls went psycho and ended it. And they all know other people that have had it happen too. It seems there's a call every few months about it happening to someone new.

As hurt as they were, they've discovered after a period of time that things weren't so bad and that maybe it wasn't as meant to be as they thought.

"All we've been through" is every relationships 'noose'.

I wish you the best.
Wow. Yeah that's pretty crazy. I really hope I never have to go through something like that. Thanks for the well wishes. I've definitely learned alot from the relationship, and will learn more after it's over and I have some time to reflect.
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      10-03-2008, 06:30 PM   #98
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Damn... i thought this was a happy thread so I read it and now I wanna go kill myself.

Well, tell ya one thing bro... time heals all things. You might feel like you're at rock bottom right now, no doubt, but things'll turn up. Stay strong and keep your head up... look out for yourself first... don't make a mistake you'll have to live with for the rest of your life.
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      10-03-2008, 06:32 PM   #99
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      10-03-2008, 07:43 PM   #100
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Face, hairstyle, lack of makeup, skintone, bodyshape, butt, legs, and clothing. She has to be 99.9% bitch free too.
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      10-03-2008, 07:52 PM   #101
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ANKLES, IM ATTRACTED TO THE ANKLES! and these are very important as well, hair, skin, ass, eyes, smell, personality, intelligence.
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      10-03-2008, 07:54 PM   #102
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      10-03-2008, 08:08 PM   #103
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      10-03-2008, 08:18 PM   #104
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      10-03-2008, 09:46 PM   #105
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      10-04-2008, 03:49 PM   #106
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      10-04-2008, 07:09 PM   #107
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Quote:
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OMG...your little icon symbol thingy...i just got it....haha...cute
Yeah..they really do look like eyes huh
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      10-04-2008, 07:22 PM   #108
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Yeah..they really do look like eyes huh
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      10-04-2008, 07:45 PM   #109
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another one...
Wow, half English + half Chinese? Exotic.

I wish I could get my girlfriend to wear cute dresses like that; well not like she would look good in them now anyways.
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      10-04-2008, 09:56 PM   #110
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