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| 06-24-2008, 05:45 AM | #2 |
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Go Gators!
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no way...
wow
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| 06-24-2008, 09:17 AM | #3 |
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Good riddance.
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| 06-24-2008, 10:47 AM | #4 | |
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I never did like the guy, but R.I.P.
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| 06-24-2008, 12:06 PM | #5 |
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"I dread the deaths of certain super-celebrities. Not because I care about them, but because of all the shit I have to endure on television when one of them dies. All those tributes and retrospectives. And the bigger the personality, the worse it is.
For instance, imagine the crap we'll have to endure on TV when Bob Hope dies. First of all, they'll show clips from all of his old road movies with Bing Crosby, and you can bet that some news anchor asshole will turn to the pile of clothing next to him and say, "Well, Tami, I imagine Bob's on the Road to Heaven now." Then there'll be clips of all those funny costumes he wore on his TV specials, including the hippie sketch, where they'll show him saying "Far out, man, far out!" They'll show him golfing with dead presidents, kissing blonde bombshells, and entertaining troops in every war since we beat the shit out of the Peloponnesians. And at some point, a seventy-year-old veteran will choke up, and say, "I just missed seein' him at two, 'cause I got my legs blowed off. He's quite a guy." Ex-presidents (including the dead ones) will line up four abreast to tell us what a great American he was; show-business perenials will desert golf courses from Palm Springs to O.J.'s lawn to lament sadly as how this time, "Bob hooked one into the woods"; and, regarding his talent, a short comedian in a check-ered hat will speak reverently about "Hope's incredible timing." And this stuff will be on every single newscast day and night for a week. There'll be special one-hour salutes on "Good Morning America," the "Today" show, and "CBS This Morning." Ted Koppel will ask Henry Kissinger if it's true Bob Hope actually shortened some of our wars by telling jokes close to the frontlines. CNN will do a series of expanded "Show Biz Todays." One of the cable channels will do a one-week marathon of his movies. And it goes without saying that NBC will put together a three-hour, prime-time special called "Thanks for the Memories," but at the last minute they'll realize Bob Hope's audience skews older, and sell it to CBS. Then there'll be the funeral, carried live on the Dead Celebrity Channel, with thousands of grotesque acne-ridden fans seeking autographs from all the show-business clowns who dug out their best black golfing outfits to attend "one of the hottest burials to hit this town in decades" -- Variety. And all this shit will go on for weeks and weeks and weeks. Until Milton Berle dies. And then it will start all over again. I dare not even contemplate Frank Sinatra and Ronald Reagan." -George Carlin |
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| 06-24-2008, 12:20 PM | #8 | |
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 He's a comedian that has been around for ages, well not anymore I guess  I found some of his stuff funny and most of it annoying, but he definitely always stirred things up. |
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| 06-24-2008, 12:29 PM | #11 | |
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 jkjk... nah im not 16 but im a fob, wasnt raised here |
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| 06-24-2008, 12:31 PM | #12 | |
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| 06-24-2008, 12:35 PM | #14 |
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George was one of the most influential and important comedians ever. In fact, I wouldn't even say most, he WAS. And he was incredibly funny as well.
You typically find two types of people, those who are extremely religious and don't like him because of what he says about religion, and then everyone else who finds him funny. I for one applaud him for speaking the truth about religion. Good for you George. May your comedy live on forever.
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| 06-24-2008, 01:09 PM | #15 | |
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| 06-24-2008, 01:11 PM | #16 | |
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| 06-24-2008, 01:35 PM | #18 |
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Careful, I Bite.....
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Here's George Carlin's Rules for 2008:
New Rule #1: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them!? Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days -- mowing my lawn. New Rule #2: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain?? Trout? New Rule #3: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Okay, we're done. New Rule #4: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket; water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water. New Rule #5: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis. New Rule #6: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one sweet-n'-Low, and one NutraSweet,' ooh, you're a huge asshole. New Rule #7: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing 'Enter,' verifying the amount, deciding no, I don't want cash back, and pressing 'Enter' again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy. New Rule #8: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass and it translates to 'beef with broccoli.' The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high. New Rule #9: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting??? Oh wait!? They're already doing that. It's called 'The Howard Stern Show.' New Rule #10: I don't need bigger, mega M&Ms. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two. New Rule #11: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting. New Rule #12: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months (e.g. 27 Months.) 'He's two,' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place. New Rule #13: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying, 'Do you want fries with that?' |
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| 06-24-2008, 02:07 PM | #19 |
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a life well lived. rest in peace George.
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| 06-24-2008, 11:26 PM | #22 |
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Crap, mod deleted my Carlin post!
I found a bit he did railing against religion, and I guess KL2DC found it too offensive.  That's a first for me - deleted post! Carlin's last book was pretty entertaining - When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? |
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