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      05-21-2008, 02:04 PM   #1
ZJP
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The best form of woman ownage



Quote:
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wifey and I were getting into
bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel
like it, I just want you to hold me.”

I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear…
“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to
take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all
dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel
like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?”

I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either.
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      05-21-2008, 02:10 PM   #2
!Xoible
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PWND nice
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      05-21-2008, 02:11 PM   #3
Expired
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Priceless, I've read it before but it is still sooo good.

-Nathan
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      05-21-2008, 02:19 PM   #4
ZGirl07
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welcome to 1998
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Space Gray ~ Coral Red ~ 20% Tint ~ LUX Angel Eyes ~ Carbon Fiber Stubby
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      05-21-2008, 02:29 PM   #5
uabimmer
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oh i like that one
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      05-21-2008, 02:38 PM   #6
txusa03
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under construction!
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      05-21-2008, 02:40 PM   #7
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I got this in a chain mail letter in 1986.


WTLW
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      05-21-2008, 03:01 PM   #8
ZJP
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Tough crowd......
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      05-21-2008, 03:08 PM   #9
Dubbedoutbimmer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AWD Addict View Post
I got this in a chain mail letter in 1986.


WTLW
hey just like your wig its a CLASSIC
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      05-21-2008, 03:14 PM   #10
stooken
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wow. never read that and i loved it!
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      05-21-2008, 03:29 PM   #11
Couch
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Never seen it before.


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      05-21-2008, 03:58 PM   #12
SpecC
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lol nice one
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      05-21-2008, 04:04 PM   #13
cryptkeeper
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dubbedoutbimmer View Post
hey just like your wig its a CLASSIC
not sure why but this comment had my lmao.
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      05-21-2008, 04:07 PM   #14
Tony717
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Expired View Post
Priceless, I've read it before but it is still sooo good.

-Nathan
+1 lol
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      05-21-2008, 05:40 PM   #15
e90AW335i
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Awesome....
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      05-21-2008, 06:27 PM   #16
goldtl
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      05-21-2008, 07:05 PM   #17
E90SLAM
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I've read it before...but still VERY VERY...

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      05-21-2008, 07:09 PM   #18
TheAcAvenger
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Never seen it before, and actually laughed out loud
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      05-21-2008, 08:00 PM   #19
HAZEx36
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i read this a while back, but i still lol'd after reading it a second time =)
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      05-21-2008, 08:59 PM   #20
bubbletea 4 me
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read it before but still funny as hell
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      05-21-2008, 09:28 PM   #21
flyer333
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ROFL that is the best shit i read in a while
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      05-22-2008, 12:43 AM   #22
bmwprince4life
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lol nice
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