Help with a dilemma

[Foxrus14]

My best friend is getting married April 12th next year and I am his best man. I have already committed to him and his Fiancé as of November 2012 to be in their wedding. I just found out my sisters wedding is now on April 12th as well. Two different cities and can't be at both. My sister and I do not have a great relationship and she is marrying someone that isn't a good addition to our family. We live 8 miles from each other and I saw her for the first time in 6 months this past weekend...

I guess should I keep my promise to my best friend or should I back out and go to my sisters wedding...?

What would you do?

[Mr Tonka]

Are you IN your buddies wedding? If so, problem solved.

Or

Use some of your wife's bank and buy your way out of your sister's wedding.

[mccannable]

Just cause someone has blood relation does not make them more important than someone you have a good friendship with.

[Ehwnnc]

Are they both open bar?

[catherineanh]

i think it would look bad on you if you didn't go to your sister's wedding. family first.
i think it will also make the relationship between you and your sister worse if you didn't attend.

[DSB335d]

Keep the promise with your best friend.

[i dunno]

go to your best friend's wedding. being the best man, you're obviously a huge part in your friend's idea of the perfect wedding.

[Devious21]

I have friends who I'd do almost anything for and I consider them "family". I also have scumbag blood relatives who come around when they need something. I'm sure others can relate.

Tell your sister you have a prior commitment that cannot be moved. If it was just an acquaintance, I'd MAYBE think about bailing and going to the sister's wedding, just to show your face. If its actually your BEST friend, then absolutely not.

To me, sharing blood or a lasts name with someone means nothing. My step father is a great guy. My biological father is scum. I wouldn't let my step father die to save my biological one.

It's cut and dry for me. A person's actual relationship with you means more than their arbitrary relationship to you.

[yakev724]

Based on what you've said, I think the easier solution will be to stay best man and just keep the initial commitment (explain it to your sister as such).

Unfortunately, your friend may be much more forgiving than your sister, and the value you place on your future relationship with either should dictate your decision. Go to your friend's and you may risk losing any form of relationship with your sister forever. Go to your sister's and your friend may forgive you and your relationship with him may continue unaffected.

Lot of speculation, but that's what I'd be thinking.

[AndreyT]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Servant_of_Two_Masters

[Foxrus14]

Don't worry... Both are open bars...I feel I have committed that weekend to my best friend as his best man. It is an honor not a privledge. I like to stick to my convictions and commitments that have already been made. I do think my best friend will get over it and be ok with it... and I don't think my sister will get over it very quickly... unfortunately, this won't change our relationship or interactions at all as we rarely see each other and we live 8 miles apart.

[Nkc]

That's your best friend. You're his best man. You are probably the second most important person to your friend at the wedding. You are just a regular relative at your sister's wedding. You actually want to go to your best friend's wedding. You probably think its a chore to attend your sister's wedding. You also agreed to your bro first, which is the deal breaker.

Dude life is short, do the things you actually want man.

[Billup]

I think the decision should be pretty clear. Bro's before hoe's man.

but seriously, why not stick to the one who takes the time to keep a connection with you, whether blood or not. I'm 700 miles from my family and can seem to make time to see them every month, so to not see your sister 8 miles away..., I don't see why the fact she is getting married should make her wedding a bigger priority. Go have a blast with your BEST FRIEND, you'll be happier you did.

[grimlock]

It depends what your relationship with your sister is like.
At least with me/over here family always has precedence over friends, even 'best' friends..
So if your relationship with her is shitty /you are not going to go anyways, then you can go to your friends.
Friends come and go.. family is forever.. at least with me (and I actively hate my family..)

[Foxrus14]

Looks like I am going to keep my word with my friend and go to his wedding. You are only as good as your word. Plus we have are tickets and hotel bought and paid for already. It will be a nice little get away for us!...