Airport Etiquette

[TTexan]

When I am reading a book and people try to talk to me or about the book/magazine I'm reading. If I wanted to talk to you, I would reciprocate the conversation. Otherwise, leave me the hell alone.

People who sit next to you (usually larger folk) that breathe like they are having an orgasm. Sigh.

[Blake]

Originally Posted by TTexan

When I am reading a book and people try to talk to me or about the book/magazine I'm reading. If I wanted to talk to you, I would reciprocate the conversation. Otherwise, leave me the hell alone.

i'll always put my headphones in right before i board. the FA's usually won't make you put them away until they make their last rounds. then i'll just put them in my lap and until the captain spools up the engines, then they're right back in. easy way to make yourself unavailable. i don't know how people can fly without headphones. screaming babies and weird people talking to you, not for me.

[Comet]

I don't understand why hippy back packers need to bring their GUITARS on board. No one wants to hear you play Stairway to heaven on the plane. No one cares for green peace. Seriously.

you should only bring the following things on board:
Laptops, books you will read, gum, a pen, iPod and handheld games. (and anything purchased from duty free)
This bag should easily fit INFRONT of you. If it doesn't, you fail.

give the middle guy your middle guy arm rests. He has it bad enough, he's the middle guy. no one wants to be the middle guy. Isle guy can rest his legs in the aisle, and window guy gets to sleep against the window. (I like being window guy). middle guy gets nothing.

You don't need to try to turn your seat into a bed, it won't work.

If you know you constantly need the bathroom, do not become window guy, become aisle guy.

my iPod will not cause the plane to crash on take off and landing.

Kids, try not to fly with them.

If I am in the row infront of you, don't try to rush ahead of me to get off the plane. You want to get off first? reserve your seats ahead of time at the front of the plane. Everyone will get off..

Stop clapping on landing, the captain CANNOT hear you.

Get your shit ready after we docked at the terminal. Don't wait for there to be no one infront of you before you start getting your shit from the overhead compartment. Get it ASAP after the captain turned off the belt sign.

Why do people look at every seat number when they walk in the isle. You are in 36F and are still at row 4. Keep walking, the rows are in ORDER. 36 won't come after 4.

this is why I fly Business/First whenever I can.

[Zephyr15]

Originally Posted by n3985

Spill it, right nao!

Never!

On a flight last year my pre-flight plan didn't work and we had a small Continental Connect (or whatever that service is called) prop plane. I had to fold myself in half to get on board. The steward immediately told me and my girl to sit in the bulkhead row and then told the guys who had those tickets to sit in our seats.

[Feyd]

This is a pretty funny thread.

But... if anyone wants to see how an airport should run I would encourage you to fly into/through Copenhaggen. It's just something that shouldn't be missed.

It will remind you how completely fucked up the American airport system is and make you really question why it is that way.

First of all the airport is beautiful.. Okay, its new so that's to be expected. Lots of glass/real hardwood floors EVERYWHERE, no confusing signage (and I don't speak Danish). Incredible duty-free shopping too. Porsche Design, Fendi, Chanel, etc, etc.

Second of all it is dead_fucking_silent inside the terminals. There are absolutly NO PA announcments at all/no cell phones ringing/no babies screaming (and there were lots of babies). As a matter of fact it was so quiet, while we were waiting to go through passport control, I actually felt compelled to whisper to my brother and dad and kind of ended the conversation because I felt uncomfortable talking.

It is completely civil and orderly. There seems to be *gasp* a common consensus that running around/pushing/shoving/butting in line isn't going to help anyone, but only further delays. I litterally stood in a double-file line with 200-300 people and could hear a pin drop. You cannot believe how refreshing something like this could be.



When we left the country, it was the same deal. Security was an absolute breeze. Again, no PA announcments, no fat-ass TSA person yelling at people to take off their shoes/coats, etc. Litterally a simple animated graphic depiction (think universal rest-room signage) showing you to remove laptops/shoes, etc. shown on a flat-screen TV mounted at the end of every security aisle. Again, the line was totally silent. All I could hear was the conveyer belts and some very moderate volume talking between the checkpoint staff.

----

8 hours later I landed in Newark and entered passport control... and was immediatly pissed off.

"IP YA NEED TA PIK UP YA OBA-SIZ'D BAGS, DEY OVA BY DA ROLL-UP DOH."

*bleh*

[DarkRider23]

I hate parents who deny their kids things just because they are trying to teach them a lesson.

Kid: Mom, can I have gum?
Mom: No, it's bad for your teeth.
Kid: *starts crying hysterically*

I had this happen on the last 45 minutes from a flight from Portugal. It was the most annoying shit ever. At the end of the flight, i wanted to punch the kid and parents in the face. It's god damn gum. Parents should do EVERYTHING in their power to make the kid shut up. To this day, I carry candy with me on airplanes, so I can give it to kids to shut them up (quit thinking creepy things you weirdos).

[Freakazoid]

I'm surprised (and a little 'worried') that nobody has mentioned the 'pushing the seat back' thing.

Maybe it's only for us tall guys....but it's annoying as HELL when someone slams their seat back...or hell in general puts their seat back when it meets resistance. When there's someone tall behind you...and you attempt to put your seat back, and you hit resistance.... STOP HAMMERING THE SEAT BACK.

I do get my just desserts everytime they do that....locking knees and shoving back...a blast!

[number335]

Originally Posted by DarkRider23

To this day, I carry candy with me all the time, so I can give it to kids to shut them up.

you may want to rethink this. an adult male/stranger giving candy to children...hmmmm

[MontegoGoGoGo]

Originally Posted by DarkRider23

I hate parents who deny their kids things just because they are trying to teach them a lesson.

Kid: Mom, can I have gum?
Mom: No, it's bad for your teeth.
Kid: *starts crying hysterically*

I had this happen on the last 45 minutes from a flight from Portugal. It was the most annoying shit ever. At the end of the flight, i wanted to punch the kid and parents in the face. It's god damn gum. Parents should do EVERYTHING in their power to make the kid shut up. To this day, I carry candy with me all the time, so I can give it to kids to shut them up.

[DarkRider23]

Originally Posted by number335

you may want to rethink this. an adult male/stranger giving candy to children...hmmmm

I think I might... Edited post. I wouldn't consider myself an adult either way though. I'm more of a teenager .

[ianthegreat]

Originally Posted by Comet

I don't understand why hippy back packers need to bring their GUITARS on board. No one wants to hear you play Stairway to heaven on the plane. No one cares for green peace. Seriously.

you should only bring the following things on board:
Laptops, books you will read, gum, a pen, iPod and handheld games. (and anything purchased from duty free)
This bag should easily fit INFRONT of you. If it doesn't, you fail.

give the middle guy your middle guy arm rests. He has it bad enough, he's the middle guy. no one wants to be the middle guy. Isle guy can rest his legs in the aisle, and window guy gets to sleep against the window. (I like being window guy). middle guy gets nothing.

You don't need to try to turn your seat into a bed, it won't work.

If you know you constantly need the bathroom, do not become window guy, become aisle guy.

my iPod will not cause the plane to crash on take off and landing.

Kids, try not to fly with them.

If I am in the row infront of you, don't try to rush ahead of me to get off the plane. You want to get off first? reserve your seats ahead of time at the front of the plane. Everyone will get off..

Stop clapping on landing, the captain CANNOT hear you.

Get your shit ready after we docked at the terminal. Don't wait for there to be no one infront of you before you start getting your shit from the overhead compartment. Get it ASAP after the captain turned off the belt sign.

Why do people look at every seat number when they walk in the isle. You are in 36F and are still at row 4. Keep walking, the rows are in ORDER. 36 won't come after 4.

this is why I fly Business/First whenever I can.

Bolded a few for emphasis that annoy the shit out of me.

[SaMaster14]

My dad had a problem when a 'large' lady sat next to him and refused to let him put the arm rest down.

We needed the flight attendant to force here to, the arm rest separates seats, if one person wants it down, it goes down...


I also find it annoying when people bring roller bags on the plane that barley fit through the aisle (and then barely fit in the overhead).

I also try and fly business/first when I can... but I'm a student so that's not usually possible unless I'm with my family.

I've also had the privilege of flying private a couple of times with some relatives, so that just spoils the whole flying atmosphere...

[Augenbrauezug]

Originally Posted by dth656

i used to be a management consultant, where 100% travel is the rule. i soon grew to hate VBITs (Vacation Bound Infrequent Travellers) who manage to clog up most major hub airports.

This is me, I rarely get on a plane. Feel so out of place in airports.

[!JGunz_325]

Stop fuckin clapping when the plane lands!!!!

[FDM68]

I'd probably think this thread is funnier if I didn't have to fly back to the States this weekend...so many of these points are annoying as hell.

[platnumdesi01]

I'm 6'2 actually flying to India soon....and omg my knees are crushed for a 16 hour flight. This time I paid double to get premium so I can have some leg room.

[Hisam135i]

LOL at this thread! Another thing that pisses me off is people who don't have their tickets and Id/passport ready and hold up the whole line digging for them in there 30 cary on's

[mshanno1]

Originally Posted by MontegoGoGoGo

3. Dress appropriately. It's tradition back from the "olden days" to dress nicely when flying. I mean you don't have to wear a suit or anything, but please, at least be clean - no wife-beaters and flip-flops.

I have to "dress appropriately" 5 days out of the week. So if I'm flying somewhere for vacation, I'm wearing my flip-flops! I would never wear a wife beater-though...

[mshanno1]

Originally Posted by Hisam135i

LOL at this thread! Another thing that pisses me off is people who don't have their tickets and Id/passport ready and hold up the whole line digging for them in there 30 cary on's

especially when they have already been waiting inline for 10 minutes

[boostedM]

It's been said, but I gotta say it again. My biggest one is idiots going through the TSA checkpoints. People, you know you're going to fly that day. It's not a surprise to anyone. As was mentioned before, dress nicely, but also dress in the best way to move through security quickly.

1. Keep jewelry to a minimum. Ladies, I know you like to look pretty, but you can spend the day without those 5 intertwined metal bracelets. Gentlemen, please wear nothing more than a watch. There is no reason for one of those big old gold chains or bracelets of any kind

2. Keep shit in your bag, not in your pocket. My dad does a bad job with this. He's always flying with pockets full of change. Leave it at home. Leave it in your bag. And with the new body scanners, EVERYTHING has to come out of your pockets. They tagged me and searched me because of $3 cash in my left pocket o_o

3. You people know ahead of time your shoes and belts need to come off. Even if you've never flown before, there are signs throughout the security line. Gals, I know you like those fashionable belts, but if you can't take it off in about 3 seconds, opt for a more practical one. Same with shoes. Those knee-high lace-up boots can wait for another day. Heels don't bother me, but you're the one that's going to be running across the terminal in them, so keep that in mind. Guys, we don't really have as many issues in this area, but please already have your belt and shoes off by the time you reach the X-Ray

4. LAPTOPS HAVE TO COME OUT OF YOUR BAG. Why this is such a hard concept for people to grasp, I'll never understand. This is also something you can do while waiting in line.

5. After you're through the body scanner or metal detector, gather your belongings from the end of the X-Ray and MOVE ON. Don't be tying your shoes and putting your belt back on right where other people are trying to get their bags out of the X-Ray. Airports almost always have an area to re-dress yourself just after the checkpoint.

[Echo M3]

This thread is so accurate! However, I find that etiquette in the US is on the whole better. I've traveled quite a bit overseas, which is where I usually experience the worst of the lot:

1.) People who have never flown before. Yes, this still happens, and you know you're in for a rough ride if you're next to one. No, buddy, you don't need to memorize the laminated security brochure. If this plane goes down in the middle of the Atlantic, some stupid life vest likely won't help.

2.) STOP FIGHTING ME FOR THE ARMREST! Seriously. If I claimed it first (and you're not in the middle), don't try to shove my arm off when I'm sleeping - I'll notice. And keep your legs on your side, while you're at it.

3.) Be a little courteous when you use the restroom on an airplane. There's 30-40 of us who have to share it, and it's not pleasant when you shit and piss all over the seat and the floor.

4.) People who just grab any suitcase that remotely looks like their own. I've caught people at least three times carrying away my suitcase, only to have them do the "oops, my bad". I mean, if your suitcase is blue, and the one in your hand currently is light beige, it probably isn't yours!

5.)I once had a guy that grabbed my laptop off the tray while I was selected for 'special security' at the airport. When I got back to the X-ray conveyor belt, my laptop was gone; TSA tracked down the guy, and got my laptop back. Get this - my laptop is a macbook air, and he had an old Dell. I was fuming.

6.) Heathrow airport security check. Any of you guys feel their pat-down is a bit too 'friendly'? I almost punched the guy when he tried to slip his hands down the front of my pants. WTF!

[boostedM]

Originally Posted by pman10

This thread is so accurate! However, I find that etiquette in the US is on the whole better. I've traveled quite a bit overseas, which is where I usually experience the worst of the lot:

1.) People who have never flown before. Yes, this still happens, and you know you're in for a rough ride if you're next to one. No, buddy, you don't need to memorize the laminated security brochure. If this plane goes down in the middle of the Atlantic, some stupid life vest likely won't help.

2.) STOP FIGHTING ME FOR THE ARMREST! Seriously. If I claimed it first (and you're not in the middle), don't try to shove my arm off when I'm sleeping - I'll notice. And keep your legs on your side, while you're at it.

3.) Be a little courteous when you use the restroom on an airplane. There's 30-40 of us who have to share it, and it's not pleasant when you shit and piss all over the seat and the floor.

4.) People who just grab any suitcase that remotely looks like their own. I've caught people at least three times carrying away my suitcase, only to have them do the "oops, my bad". I mean, if your suitcase is blue, and the one in your hand currently is light beige, it probably isn't yours!

5.)I once had a guy that grabbed my laptop off the tray while I was selected for 'special security' at the airport. When I got back to the X-ray conveyor belt, my laptop was gone; TSA tracked down the guy, and got my laptop back. Get this - my laptop is a macbook air, and he had an old Dell. I was fuming.

6.) Heathrow airport security check. Any of you guys feel their pat-down is a bit too 'friendly'? I almost punched the guy when he tried to slip his hands down the front of my pants. WTF!

Yeah I didn't even want to get into the "on the plane" portion of this! I'm 6'3", and when I get stuck in coach, I need that isle seat. No, lady, I'm not going to switch with your husband who is sitting in the middle seat in row 27. You'll see him in a few hours.