Allegedly true police comments

SoYank · 11-06-2007, 02:47 PM

These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

16. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
15. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
14. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
11. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
9. "Warning?! You want a warning? OKAY, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
5. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
4. "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
3. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
2. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here. "

inabis · 11-06-2007, 02:53 PM

lol...classic...I like number 1,2,8,12 and 13...they sound like something I'd say

mjh93sa · 11-06-2007, 03:31 PM

Nice one Floyd!

normtrum · 11-06-2007, 04:11 PM

You're right, the last one is the best!

Crimson92 · 11-08-2007, 12:29 PM

nice!!

hks786 · 11-08-2007, 12:52 PM

haha...you know all of these remind me of that stupid cop in Harold n Kumar

335i4u2nv · 11-08-2007, 12:56 PM

that is funny stuff.. i almost fell outta my chair!

inabis · 11-08-2007, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hks786

haha...you know all of these remind me of that stupid cop in Harold n Kumar

How do you even spell Kumar? Is that 2 U's or 3 O's??

hks786 · 11-08-2007, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inabis

How do you even spell Kumar? Is that 2 U's or 3 O's??

haha

richeerich03 · 11-08-2007, 03:07 PM

This one is good..

13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

gonzo · 11-08-2007, 03:37 PM

All true.
My personal fave was SHUT YOUR FACE!
Popped for PI in college. On the way to the jail, handcuffed, raining, at a stop light, I said if you let me out here I will find my way. He turned around and said SHUT YOUR FACE and cold cocked me right in the mouth.

I laughed at him, dumb, and said he hit like a girl...well you can figure what happened next.

BMW F22 · 11-08-2007, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richeerich03

This one is good..

13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

yeah that one got me going pretty good as well.

awesome list overall.

MCS · 11-08-2007, 03:49 PM

Gonzo - What's PI?

Dumb question on my part.

djmatty · 11-08-2007, 06:05 PM

PI == Public Intoxication

hks786 · 11-08-2007, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richeerich03

This one is good..

13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

LOL, These are good too:

9. "Warning?! You want a warning? OKAY, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

11. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

E90330iS · 01-21-2008, 03:21 AM

hahaha sweet

11-06-2007, 02:47 PM	#1
SoYank Major General 571 Rep 7,519 Posts Drives: 2009 E90 335i MT Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Vinton, Virginia iTrader: (1) Garage List 2009 BMW E90 335i S ... [9.00]	Allegedly true police comments These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country: 16. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through." 15. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while." 14. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." 13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." 12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." 11. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?" 10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?" 9. "Warning?! You want a warning? OKAY, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." 8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" 7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop." 6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." 5. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC." 4. "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?" 3. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can." 2. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail." AND THE WINNER IS.... "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here. " __________________ **2009 E90 335i Montego Blue · Black Leather · Burl Walnut · 6MT · US Spec** SatNav • ZPP • ZCW • 6FL • TPMS • iDrive • PDC • HWS • Xenons • BMW Assist • Power Rear Sunshade • Logic 7 European Taillights • Rear Foglamp • OEM Alarm • PicoTray • DataToys XM-DVR • Multi-view Processor Quaife ATB LSD • Short Shift Knob • Hartge Anti-Roll Bars • AP Racing Front Brakes • 19" Style 269
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11-06-2007, 02:53 PM	#2
inabis Captain 283 Rep 955 Posts Drives: E90 Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Daytona Beach->Denver->Seattle->The Bay iTrader: (2) Garage List 2006 325i [0.00]	lol...classic...I like number 1,2,8,12 and 13...they sound like something I'd say
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11-06-2007, 03:31 PM	#3
mjh93sa Major General 147 Rep 5,080 Posts Drives: 530d Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Gloucestershire iTrader: (0) Garage List 2012 BMW M135i [10.00] 2011 Mini Countryma ... [5.50]	Nice one Floyd! __________________ Gone: Fiesta - Focus - E46 320dSE - E91 330dMSport - E82 135iMSport - R55 JCW Clubman - M135i Now: 530d
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11-06-2007, 04:11 PM	#4
normtrum Colonel 52 Rep 2,225 Posts Drives: e90 335i, e46 330i Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: PNW iTrader: (1)	You're right, the last one is the best! __________________ 07 335i sedan \| Steptronic \| Black saphire \| Terra \| ZPP \| ZSP \| Cold Weather \| CA \| PDC \| Nav \| OEM Alarm
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11-08-2007, 12:52 PM	#6
hks786 Major General 2169 Rep 5,364 Posts Drives: * Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: UK iTrader: (0)	haha...you know all of these remind me of that stupid cop in Harold n Kumar __________________
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11-08-2007, 12:56 PM	#7
335i4u2nv Colonel 66 Rep 2,765 Posts Drives: 335i e9O sL0w Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: im right behind u iTrader: (0)	that is funny stuff.. i almost fell outta my chair!
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11-08-2007, 03:07 PM	#10
richeerich03 Captain 149 Rep 877 Posts Drives: E90 Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Santa Clarita iTrader: (0) Garage List 2006 E90 330i [0.00]	This one is good.. 13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." __________________
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11-08-2007, 03:37 PM	#11
gonzo Lieutenant General 10202 Rep 14,398 Posts Drives: as many as possible Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: TeXXXas iTrader: (0)	All true. My personal fave was SHUT YOUR FACE! Popped for PI in college. On the way to the jail, handcuffed, raining, at a stop light, I said if you let me out here I will find my way. He turned around and said SHUT YOUR FACE and cold cocked me right in the mouth. I laughed at him, dumb, and said he hit like a girl...well you can figure what happened next. __________________ Crazy Diamond
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11-08-2007, 03:49 PM	#13
MCS e90 newbie 35 Rep 448 Posts Drives: 2012 M3 E93 Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Northern NJ iTrader: (2) Garage List 2006 330i [0.00]	Gonzo - What's PI? Dumb question on my part. __________________ E93 IL Blue M3 ZPP, ZCW
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11-08-2007, 06:05 PM	#14
djmatty Second Lieutenant 17 Rep 282 Posts Drives: 2003 330i; 1999 328i (RIP) Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: somewhere south iTrader: (0)	PI == Public Intoxication __________________
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01-21-2008, 03:21 AM	#16
E90330iS Major General 143 Rep 6,333 Posts Drives: BMW M4 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Arcadia, California iTrader: (56) Garage List 2006 330i [0.00]	hahaha sweet __________________ 2017 BMW M4 DCT Lease Transfer: https://f80.bimmerpost.com/forums/sh...8#post23736398
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