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      10-26-2017, 02:34 PM   #1
kprocivic
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Strangest places you dropped the deuce?

This should be fun.

I was 17, away for a state track meet, and all of a sudden had to poop. All the restrooms throughout the day were occupied so I just kept holding it and holding it. I check the surroundings, looking in all directions for a tree, bush, anything where I could let Mr. Brown out. Nothing was empty people were everywhere I was just going to have to hold it fuck. My event was called sooner than expected ah shit. During warmups half speed I felt pretty good, but once I kicked it into full speed, I felt a little log trying to come out and play. Well it's my fault I should have just waited in the line, after this race I'm shitting in the parking lot I didn't give 2 fucks of a donkeys ass. The starter shot his pistol the race was off. For whatever reason when Mr Brown heard that loud bang he thought that meant it was time to be expelled. I got about 30 seconds before I get this baton wtf did I get myself into. Out of all the days in front of thousands of people I'm stuck in a shitty situation. I see my teammate coming fast, put up or shut up time. I blast off like a person needing to shit. I'm really driving through trying to catch up to Taylor Mays and Desean Jackson. On paper they weren't that much faster but that day they both killed me. I think we placed like 6th, so I was able to stay ahead of at least some people. I didn't know at the time that 2 of the guys that killed me, would turn out to be decent NFL players. All I knew is that after the race, I didn't have to shit anymore.

Oh you ask where I shit at. On the track while I was running.

Apologize for any errors I'm on the toilet right now.
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      10-26-2017, 02:44 PM   #2
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In the pool once. Then I bolted.
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      10-26-2017, 02:53 PM   #3
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Army.

A camp in north Finland.

Just to give you guys some background info, that camp is 2 weeks of hell.

The snow comes from up, from all sides, till this day i swear it also came from the ground too. The temperatures went from -32C to +5C. Two weeks in tents with smelly men while all our belongings in our backs all day, every day was fun.

I am a shy pooper. I want my own toilet, or at least privacy. Well, in the Finnish army, you get a shovel, a frozen ground, you need to strip down to get the the fire zone to align and well, in those temperatures it ain't exactly a full of fun experience.

So, i held it in. Then my team had been up on patrols (this excercise is a big thing in the Finnish army) for 22 hours straight (i might have pissed off our captain) when the call came in.

"we need a team to go heat up the generals cabins. The first ones to respond gets the task." I took it, and my guys and i ran to the cabin (please note I was not the one navigating!). We got there. We light up the sauna, we moped the floors. We wondered why the bedrooms were locked but my exact words translated to English were:

"guys. What ever happens now, i don't care. I will go and shit the weeks load to a porcelain toilet".

I didn't hear a beep, since my palls fell asleep in two seconds. What did happen was a major general screaming at me about not standing up when he entered the toilet and me kindly explaining to him that now exactly is not a time he would want a show of respect.

Then i informed him kindly that if he won't go away, we two will be the weirdest court martial case of all times.

"sir, the disrespect is clear. Yes, we are at the wrong cabin and we woke you up but i shit you not, this ass is not going to raise until I'm done."

As a place, as a timing that could be common but that is still my strange shit story.
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Originally Posted by Uber Commuter View Post
Do you believe in Lups?

Keaton always said, "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him." Well, I believe in God -- and the only thing that scares me is Lups.

Last edited by Lups; 10-26-2017 at 03:12 PM.
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      10-26-2017, 03:01 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kprocivic View Post
This should be fun.

I was 17, away for a state track meet, and all of a sudden had to poop. All the restrooms throughout the day were occupied so I just kept holding it and holding it. I check the surroundings, looking in all directions for a tree, bush, anything where I could let Mr. Brown out. Nothing was empty people were everywhere I was just going to have to hold it fuck. My event was called sooner than expected ah shit. During warmups half speed I felt pretty good, but once I kicked it into full speed, I felt a little log trying to come out and play. Well it's my fault I should have just waited in the line, after this race I'm shitting in the parking lot I didn't give 2 fucks of a donkeys ass. The starter shot his pistol the race was off. For whatever reason when Mr Brown heard that loud bang he thought that meant it was time to be expelled. I got about 30 seconds before I get this baton wtf did I get myself into. Out of all the days in front of thousands of people I'm stuck in a shitty situation. I see my teammate coming fast, put up or shut up time. I blast off like a person needing to shit. I'm really driving through trying to catch up to Taylor Mays and Desean Jackson. On paper they weren't that much faster but that day they both killed me. I think we placed like 6th, so I was able to stay ahead of at least some people. I didn't know at the time that 2 of the guys that killed me, would turn out to be decent NFL players. All I knew is that after the race, I didn't have to shit anymore.

Oh you ask where I shit at. On the track while I was running.

Apologize for any errors I'm on the toilet right now.
you passed the wrong "baton"

i once had to take a deuce in a "toilet" in a mainland chinese police station...that was uh..
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      10-26-2017, 03:22 PM   #5
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Ocean in playa del Carmen
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      10-26-2017, 03:29 PM   #6
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In my pants . Got diarrhea .
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      10-26-2017, 03:41 PM   #7
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Not strange, but terrible. The old Yankee stadium about 20 years ago. Don't even remember what I ate. But I do remember the toilet seat was broken, there was no latch on the stall and it was the 7th inning stretch so the line was out the door.
I remember having to hold the door shut with one hand.
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      10-26-2017, 03:43 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by infinitekid2002 View Post
you passed the wrong "baton"

i once had to take a deuce in a "toilet" in a mainland chinese police station...that was uh..
I squatted over a 'toilet' in a mainland Chinese factory that looked like this, except it was dirty:


I had already vomited in and around said hole in the floor and was now drowning the flocks of mosquitoes that were swarming out of the hole with chocolate thunder. I began to get dizzy and swayed back and forth trying not to touch the side walls. If you think aiming pee into a toilet with the seat down is hard, you should try aiming poopgasm of shotgun diarrhea into a 3" hole two feet below you while the room is dancing in circles.

Oh yea, and note in the attached picture... no toilet paper.

Rough day.
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      10-26-2017, 03:45 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD View Post
Ocean in playa del Carmen
How long ago was that? I went swimming there about 7 years ago.
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      10-26-2017, 03:46 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh (PA) View Post
I squatted over a 'toilet' in a mainland Chinese factory that looked like this, except it was dirty:


I had already vomited in and around said hole in the floor and was now drowning the flocks of mosquitoes that were swarming out of the hole with chocolate thunder. I began to get dizzy and swayed back and forth trying not to touch the side walls. If you think aiming pee into a toilet with the seat down is hard, you should try aiming poopgasm of shotgun diarrhea into a 3" hole two feet below you while the room is dancing in circles.

Oh yea, and note in the attached picture... no toilet paper.

Rough day.
That story almost made me feel sick...almost...it really takes a lot.
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      10-26-2017, 03:47 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh (PA) View Post
I squatted over a 'toilet' in a mainland Chinese factory that looked like this, except it was dirty:


I had already vomited in and around said hole in the floor and was now drowning the flocks of mosquitoes that were swarming out of the hole with chocolate thunder. I began to get dizzy and swayed back and forth trying not to touch the side walls. If you think aiming pee into a toilet with the seat down is hard, you should try aiming poopgasm of shotgun diarrhea into a 3" hole two feet below you while the room is dancing in circles.

Oh yea, and note in the attached picture... no toilet paper.

Rough day.
No one really knows what weird is like until you're visiting suppliers in Mainland China and need to shit in the employee housing shitters.

There's left over turds in the squats. Explosive shit on the wall. Smells like death itself. Absolutely terrifying.
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      10-26-2017, 03:49 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh (PA) View Post
I squatted over a 'toilet' in a mainland Chinese factory that looked like this, except it was dirty:


I had already vomited in and around said hole in the floor and was now drowning the flocks of mosquitoes that were swarming out of the hole with chocolate thunder. I began to get dizzy and swayed back and forth trying not to touch the side walls. If you think aiming pee into a toilet with the seat down is hard, you should try aiming poopgasm of shotgun diarrhea into a 3" hole two feet below you while the room is dancing in circles.

Oh yea, and note in the attached picture... no toilet paper.

Rough day.
You should wear poop boots !
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      10-26-2017, 03:50 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jgoens View Post
How long ago was that? I went swimming there about 7 years ago.
I heard it has the size of the Titanic..
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      10-26-2017, 03:53 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ///M Power-Belgium View Post
I heard it has the size of the Titanic..
Hmmm..went snorkeling there and Cozumel and noticed much of the coral was dead.
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      10-26-2017, 03:53 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh (PA) View Post
I squatted over a 'toilet' in a mainland Chinese factory that looked like this, except it was dirty:


I had already vomited in and around said hole in the floor and was now drowning the flocks of mosquitoes that were swarming out of the hole with chocolate thunder. I began to get dizzy and swayed back and forth trying not to touch the side walls. If you think aiming pee into a toilet with the seat down is hard, you should try aiming poopgasm of shotgun diarrhea into a 3" hole two feet below you while the room is dancing in circles.

Oh yea, and note in the attached picture... no toilet paper.

Rough day.
Dude. You win this thread. We can close it now. I mean now.
Is that freaking blood?!?!!! Really?!?!!
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Hell, I get random sausage attacks when I go anywhere.

Last edited by MKSixer; 10-26-2017 at 04:01 PM.
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      10-26-2017, 03:55 PM   #16
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I was sure i would kill the thread on one dump but noo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Uber Commuter View Post
Do you believe in Lups?

Keaton always said, "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him." Well, I believe in God -- and the only thing that scares me is Lups.
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      10-26-2017, 03:58 PM   #17
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Ex's cats litter box. To this day, that's the biggest log that cat's ever put to rest.
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      10-26-2017, 04:00 PM   #18
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From a tree on an island off the coast of Florida. I was maybe 10 years old and wanted to see it drop. When you gotta go you gotta go, climbing a tree or not.
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      10-26-2017, 04:01 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jgoens View Post
Hmmm..went snorkeling there and Cozumel and noticed much of the coral was dead.
Yeah , too much shit is not healthy .
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      10-26-2017, 04:03 PM   #20
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Quote:
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I was sure i would kill the thread on one dump but noo
Anna , you mean by the smell ?
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      10-26-2017, 04:11 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ///M Power-Belgium View Post
Anna , you mean by the smell ?
The smells was not my issue. The nine days without porcelain was.

And then some old fuckers walked in
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Uber Commuter View Post
Do you believe in Lups?

Keaton always said, "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him." Well, I believe in God -- and the only thing that scares me is Lups.
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      10-26-2017, 04:22 PM   #22
///M Power-Belgium
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Quote:
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The smells was not my issue. The nine days without porcelain was.

And then some old fuckers walked in
You mean only a hole with 2 foot prints like in France ?
The advantage is that you can use it straight forwards or in reverse ..

Advice => Keep your flashy shoes far apart from each other !
And I don't recommend it when you're drunk...
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