I got a cup of coffee in China, hilarity ensues.

samwoo2go · 06-24-2010, 02:48 AM

So I am in China right now and I bought a cup of coffee today, paid for it and never got it, here's what happened.

Today I was walking around the city and had to take a shit. I found a little coffee shop with clean bathrooms on the 2nd floor, the floor is made of loose wood planks and no customers on the 2nd floor, perfect.

There's a sign that said "don't throw toilet papers in the toilet because it will clog." So I proceed to take my shit, and it was the BIGGEST fucking doo doo I've ever seen, after the first wave, I felt a second wave coming, but being the nice guy that I am, I didn't want to clog their shit, so I hipptie hopped to the next stall to finish the round.

So now we got 2 toilets filled to the brim with alcohie shit, and I flushed 1 and without looking, walked over and flushed the 2nd one. By the time I got back to the 1st toilet, doo doo water was overflowing on the the bathroom floor, and I looked at the 2nd stall, more doo doo water coming out. I fucking clogged both.

Anyone that's been to China b4 knows they have these raised single stall bathroom platforms and any water overflow will just trickle down the platform. So I am like fuck, I feel hella bad. I quietly walked down the stairs and bought a coffee to go even tho I didn't want 1 because I felt bad.

So I ordered the coffee and I am waiting for it, and all of a sudden I hear a waitress go, "hey why is the roof leaking?" There was a stead stream of shit water leaking onto the cashier counter, coffee machiens, hallways, fucking everywhere, the cashier was catching the water with her hands I can only persume to check what kind of water it is. All that came out of my mouth was "o my fuck" and I pretended to get a call and booked it...without my coffee.

True story.

balance · 06-24-2010, 02:55 AM

how come exciting shit like this never happens to me

boymonkey · 06-24-2010, 03:00 AM

LOL, great stuff.

Dan in PA · 06-24-2010, 03:01 AM

Good story, would read again.

shuarma · 06-24-2010, 03:03 AM

LOL great story

Vanity · 06-24-2010, 03:07 AM

LOLLL

kaykay · 06-24-2010, 03:20 AM

Wow, what a story. Wow.

LMAO

SES_D · 06-24-2010, 03:22 AM

wtf, that bad?

Where in China are you?

Dan in PA · 06-24-2010, 03:25 AM

How long after that did you laugh?

samwoo2go · 06-24-2010, 03:28 AM

The fucked up part is, we're getting a storm system right now, so it rains here and there throughout the day, so it will probably take them a long time to figure out it's not rain water.

I am in GuangZhou right now, I'll be in Shanghai starting tomorrow.

samwoo2go · 06-24-2010, 03:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dan in PA

How long after that did you laugh?

right after "o my fuck"

Dan in PA · 06-24-2010, 03:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by samwoo2go

The fucked up part is, we're getting a storm system right now, so it rains here and there throughout the day, so it will probably take them a long time to figure out it's not rain water.

I am in GuangZhou right now, I'll be in Shanghai starting tomorrow.

All over the coffee machines....damn....

jhv · 06-24-2010, 04:04 AM

i love you samwoo2go

crazy08 · 06-24-2010, 05:35 AM

ROFLMAO!!!!

NYCGarbagePrince · 06-24-2010, 07:01 AM

That is hilarious... I wouldn't have drank the shitty coffee either...

fdsasdasdf · 06-24-2010, 07:24 AM

Oh dear God....HAHAAHAHAHA.

Feyd · 06-24-2010, 07:27 AM

Dude... did you take some colon blow? I've never heard of anyone filling two toilets!

Epic story though.

Alexander · 06-24-2010, 08:52 AM

This is actually a cool story. Thanks Bro!

samwoo2go · 06-24-2010, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Feyd

Dude... did you take some colon blow? I've never heard of anyone filling two toilets!

Epic story though.

how I am able to fill 2 toilets was due to a variety of factors, including a hooker and a trick called the "dragon drill" but that's a whole another story.

Feyd · 06-24-2010, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by samwoo2go

how I am able to fill 2 toilets was due to a variety of factors, including a hooker and a trick called the "dragon drill" but that's a whole another story.

LOL WUT?

Must have had a hell of a tongue.

UncleWede · 06-24-2010, 09:51 AM

"HE PAID for a tranny!!!"

BillLee · 06-24-2010, 09:53 AM

damn, clogged two toilets at the same time?! i cant even clog one!

06-24-2010, 02:48 AM	#1
samwoo2go Banned 442 Rep 779 Posts Drives: E92 335i Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: SoCal iTrader: (12)	I got a cup of coffee in China, hilarity ensues. So I am in China right now and I bought a cup of coffee today, paid for it and never got it, here's what happened. Today I was walking around the city and had to take a shit. I found a little coffee shop with clean bathrooms on the 2nd floor, the floor is made of loose wood planks and no customers on the 2nd floor, perfect. There's a sign that said "don't throw toilet papers in the toilet because it will clog." So I proceed to take my shit, and it was the BIGGEST fucking doo doo I've ever seen, after the first wave, I felt a second wave coming, but being the nice guy that I am, I didn't want to clog their shit, so I hipptie hopped to the next stall to finish the round. So now we got 2 toilets filled to the brim with alcohie shit, and I flushed 1 and without looking, walked over and flushed the 2nd one. By the time I got back to the 1st toilet, doo doo water was overflowing on the the bathroom floor, and I looked at the 2nd stall, more doo doo water coming out. I fucking clogged both. Anyone that's been to China b4 knows they have these raised single stall bathroom platforms and any water overflow will just trickle down the platform. So I am like fuck, I feel hella bad. I quietly walked down the stairs and bought a coffee to go even tho I didn't want 1 because I felt bad. So I ordered the coffee and I am waiting for it, and all of a sudden I hear a waitress go, "hey why is the roof leaking?" There was a stead stream of shit water leaking onto the cashier counter, coffee machiens, hallways, fucking everywhere, the cashier was catching the water with her hands I can only persume to check what kind of water it is. All that came out of my mouth was "o my fuck" and I pretended to get a call and booked it...without my coffee. True story.
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06-24-2010, 02:55 AM	#2
balance Colonel 122 Rep 2,090 Posts Drives: F32 435i Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: OC iTrader: (6) Garage List 2014 BMW [0.00]	how come exciting shit like this never happens to me __________________
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06-24-2010, 03:00 AM	#3
boymonkey Lieutenant 38 Rep 530 Posts Drives: slow Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Canada iTrader: (0)	LOL, great stuff.
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06-24-2010, 03:01 AM	#4
Dan in PA Captain 88 Rep 729 Posts Drives: 2007 E92 335i Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: PA iTrader: (0) Garage List 2013 BMW Z4 sDrive35i [0.00]	Good story, would read again. __________________ 2013 BMW Z4 sDrive35i\|DCT\|M-Sport\|iDrive\|Premium Sound\|Heated Seats\|Comfort Access\|PDC\|Deep Sea Blue\|Cream [At the port of exit awaiting a shipping vessel since 8/17/12]
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06-24-2010, 03:03 AM	#5
shuarma Banned 87 Rep 718 Posts Drives: AW e92 Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: NY iTrader: (1)	LOL great story
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06-24-2010, 03:07 AM	#6
Vanity Private First Class 257 Rep 123 Posts Drives: BMW E90 LCI Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: BC, Canada iTrader: (0)	LOLLL __________________
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06-24-2010, 03:20 AM	#7
kaykay Lieutenant Colonel 90 Rep 1,769 Posts Drives: 2011 E92 M3 ZCP Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: SoCal iTrader: (0) Garage List 2011 E93 328i Conve ... [9.50] 2011 E92 M3 ZCP [8.66] 2008 550i Sport [10.00]	Wow, what a story. Wow. LMAO __________________ '12 CLS550 Palladium Silver - loaded '11 E92 M3 ZCP - SG/B-EXT/CF, M-DCT, loaded '11 E93 328i, BSM over Saddle Brown, sport, loaded '08 550i M-Sport, Carbon Black (Gone but not forgotten), '06 W211 E55 AMG (Gone, miss this animal),'01 E39 540i Sport
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06-24-2010, 03:22 AM	#8
SES_D pewpew 479 Rep 21,165 Posts Drives: F10 535i Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: San Francisco iTrader: (26)	wtf, that bad? Where in China are you? __________________ LTMW
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06-24-2010, 03:25 AM	#9
Dan in PA Captain 88 Rep 729 Posts Drives: 2007 E92 335i Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: PA iTrader: (0) Garage List 2013 BMW Z4 sDrive35i [0.00]	How long after that did you laugh? __________________ 2013 BMW Z4 sDrive35i\|DCT\|M-Sport\|iDrive\|Premium Sound\|Heated Seats\|Comfort Access\|PDC\|Deep Sea Blue\|Cream [At the port of exit awaiting a shipping vessel since 8/17/12]
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06-24-2010, 03:28 AM	#10
samwoo2go Banned 442 Rep 779 Posts Drives: E92 335i Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: SoCal iTrader: (12)	The fucked up part is, we're getting a storm system right now, so it rains here and there throughout the day, so it will probably take them a long time to figure out it's not rain water. I am in GuangZhou right now, I'll be in Shanghai starting tomorrow.
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06-24-2010, 04:04 AM	#13
jhv Lieutenant General 1697 Rep 17,304 Posts Drives: G80 M3 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Los Angeles iTrader: (1)	i love you samwoo2go
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06-24-2010, 05:35 AM	#14
crazy08 Private 12 Rep 89 Posts Drives: 2013 M5 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Germany iTrader: (0) Garage List 2013 BMW M5 [10.00]	ROFLMAO!!!! __________________ '13 M5 Imperial Blue Sold: '11 M3 IB / Fox Red Sold: '05 M3 Mystic Blue / Cinnamon
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06-24-2010, 07:01 AM	#15
NYCGarbagePrince Major 247 Rep 1,435 Posts Drives: X6 50i Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: NYC iTrader: (0)	That is hilarious... I wouldn't have drank the shitty coffee either...
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06-24-2010, 07:24 AM	#16
fdsasdasdf Captain 125 Rep 778 Posts Drives: 330Ci ZHP 6sp Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Raleigh, NC iTrader: (0)	Oh dear God....HAHAAHAHAHA.
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06-24-2010, 07:27 AM	#17
Feyd Major 346 Rep 1,288 Posts Drives: a DEEZZULL Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Chicago, IL iTrader: (2)	Dude... did you take some colon blow? I've never heard of anyone filling two toilets! Epic story though.
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06-24-2010, 08:52 AM	#18
Alexander Mad tyte EuR0 style boooi <--- Joke 212 Rep 2,472 Posts Drives: E30, E85, MKVI Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Deal's Gap iTrader: (0)	This is actually a cool story. Thanks Bro!
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06-24-2010, 09:51 AM	#21
UncleWede Long Time Admirer, First Time Owner 17977 Rep 9,377 Posts Drives: G01 X3 M40i Dark Graphite Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Oxnard, CA iTrader: (0)	"HE PAID for a tranny!!!"
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06-24-2010, 09:53 AM	#22
BillLee Major General 679 Rep 5,382 Posts Drives: E92 M3 Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: HTX iTrader: (21) Garage List 09 E92 M3 [9.00]	damn, clogged two toilets at the same time?! i cant even clog one! __________________ Follow me on instagram: billy.by
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