Mystic Nights by Off Topic

[1MOREMOD]

The midget is a woman!

[NEFARIOUS]

Holy crap... This just got interesting in less than 1,000 words; not even 50 Shades was this direct; it took 30-40 pages before anything remotely sexual happened (long story short, I was REALLY fucking bored and saw it on a coffee table) . Even though it's late at night, let's put what writing skills I have to the test. Fuck, wish I didn't drink a can of Monster at night. I could make this very serious and plausible, but I'm too fucking wired to sleep, but I'm tired.

As they cross the Mexican border, Calvin and the entire posse not only realize the midget is a cisgendered woman (just ugly enough to have a manly square jaw), she is grateful to have returned to her post as a Tijuana Donkey Show Queen.

Calvin suddenly glints deep into the midget's eyes, with an ambition, fervor and prowess unable to be matched by any human. Then matching Calvin's gaze, she seductively begins to perform a striptease, unifying 2 souls between man and beast. She gets on a stepladder and presses her cleavage to his eyes, subtly revealing a tulle lace bra with sheer cups. She coos: "You like that, Calvin?" he doesn't reply since he's still a fucking donkey after all.

She takes it as a sign of "show me more", then begins to take off her tank top and revealing everything, without revealing anything. By now, a human would be raring to go, but Calvin is either playing hard to get, or still unimpressed by such a blatant display of sexual prowess. The midget then gyrates seductively for Calvin, then he finally lets out a seductive bray when Olga finally frees her gorgeous, perky 32DD breasts from the inconveniences of such restrictive garments, then throws her bra onto Calvin's head, to which he shakes it off its head.

At this point, Calvin can sense that the midget is incredibly turned on. However, as a human would begin kissing its neck and whispering sweet nothings, Calvin begins to shove its nose up her floral skirt, going directly for it. After taking a deep whiff, he bites her matching thong off, almost tearing its delicate fabric off and proceeding to lap on her sex like a dehydrated dog that ran 2 miles around the block with its owner.

Olga is currently in the throes of ecstasy; as donkeys have bigger tongues than humans, she is straddling a post and biting her lips, with her legs quivering and letting out moans and squeals louder than an old clothes dryer, which she can attest no human has ever made her feel this way, especially since if there's one thing that Calvin remembers from Donkey Show school, it's how to find the clitoris and tongue-fucking her until it presses her G-spot. And then...

[1MOREMOD]

Donkey on midget oral? New low?

[Biorin]

^^ what the fuck.

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by NEFARIOUS

Holy crap... This just got interesting in less than 1,000 words; not even 50 Shades was this direct; it took 30-40 pages before anything remotely sexual happened (long story short, I was REALLY fucking bored and saw it on a coffee table) . Even though it's late at night, let's put what writing skills I have to the test. Fuck, wish I didn't drink a can of Monster at night. I could make this very serious and plausible, but I'm too fucking wired to sleep, but I'm tired.

As they cross the Mexican border, Calvin and the entire posse not only realize the midget is a cisgendered woman (just ugly enough to have a manly square jaw), she is grateful to have returned to her post as a Tijuana Donkey Show Queen.

Calvin suddenly glints deep into the midget's eyes, with an ambition, fervor and prowess unable to be matched by any human. Then matching Calvin's gaze, she seductively begins to perform a striptease, unifying 2 souls between man and beast. She gets on a stepladder and presses her cleavage to his eyes, subtly revealing a tulle lace bra with sheer cups. She coos: "You like that, Calvin?" he doesn't reply since he's still a fucking donkey after all.

She takes it as a sign of "show me more", then begins to take off her tank top and revealing everything, without revealing anything. By now, a human would be raring to go, but Calvin is either playing hard to get, or still unimpressed by such a blatant display of sexual prowess. The midget then gyrates seductively for Calvin, then he finally lets out a seductive bray when Olga finally frees her gorgeous, perky 32DD breasts from the inconveniences of such restrictive garments, then throws her bra onto Calvin's head, to which he shakes it off its head.

At this point, Calvin can sense that the midget is incredibly turned on. However, as a human would begin kissing its neck and whispering sweet nothings, Calvin begins to shove its nose up her floral skirt, going directly for it. After taking a deep whiff, he bites her matching thong off, almost tearing its delicate fabric off and proceeding to lap on her sex like a dehydrated dog that ran 2 miles around the block with its owner.

Olga is currently in the throes of ecstasy; as donkeys have bigger tongues than humans, she is straddling a post and biting her lips, with her legs quivering and letting out moans and squeals louder than an old clothes dryer, which she can attest no human has ever made her feel this way, especially since if there's one thing that Calvin remembers from Donkey Show school, it's how to find the clitoris and tongue-fucking her until it presses her G-spot. And then...

Why do i keep coming in here?!?!

[Axius]

Nef ruined it.

[1MOREMOD]

Rewrite. Clean that midget up and reshoot.

[NEFARIOUS]

Gosh, your reactions to something I went out of my way to sound as fucked up as possible is funnier than the entire thread!

[EL Jeffe 5]

Plot twist is coming ???

[MrPrena]

Originally Posted by NEFARIOUS

Holy crap... This just got interesting in less than 1,000 words; not even 50 Shades was this direct; it took 30-40 pages before anything remotely sexual happened (long story short, I was REALLY fucking bored and saw it on a coffee table) . Even though it's late at night, let's put what writing skills I have to the test. Fuck, wish I didn't drink a can of Monster at night. I could make this very serious and plausible, but I'm too fucking wired to sleep, but I'm tired.

As they cross the Mexican border, Calvin and the entire posse not only realize the midget is a cisgendered woman (just ugly enough to have a manly square jaw), she is grateful to have returned to her post as a Tijuana Donkey Show Queen.

Calvin suddenly glints deep into the midget's eyes, with an ambition, fervor and prowess unable to be matched by any human. Then matching Calvin's gaze, she seductively begins to perform a striptease, unifying 2 souls between man and beast. She gets on a stepladder and presses her cleavage to his eyes, subtly revealing a tulle lace bra with sheer cups. She coos: "You like that, Calvin?" he doesn't reply since he's still a fucking donkey after all.

She takes it as a sign of "show me more", then begins to take off her tank top and revealing everything, without revealing anything. By now, a human would be raring to go, but Calvin is either playing hard to get, or still unimpressed by such a blatant display of sexual prowess. The midget then gyrates seductively for Calvin, then he finally lets out a seductive bray when Olga finally frees her gorgeous, perky 32DD breasts from the inconveniences of such restrictive garments, then throws her bra onto Calvin's head, to which he shakes it off its head.

At this point, Calvin can sense that the midget is incredibly turned on. However, as a human would begin kissing its neck and whispering sweet nothings, Calvin begins to shove its nose up her floral skirt, going directly for it. After taking a deep whiff, he bites her matching thong off, almost tearing its delicate fabric off and proceeding to lap on her sex like a dehydrated dog that ran 2 miles around the block with its owner.

Olga is currently in the throes of ecstasy; as donkeys have bigger tongues than humans, she is straddling a post and biting her lips, with her legs quivering and letting out moans and squeals louder than an old clothes dryer, which she can attest no human has ever made her feel this way, especially since if there's one thing that Calvin remembers from Donkey Show school, it's how to find the clitoris and tongue-fucking her until it presses her G-spot. And then...

... NEFARIOUS had all these bubble coming out of his mouth while his eyes were rolled out.

We were yelling, "Help! Help! Nef OD'ed. I think he synthetically made some weird sh1t and smoked it!"

Then 1MOREMOD yelled, "Synthetic? I thought it was a pure Pot bro! Holy! Crap! Axius we need to do an emergency gastric irrigation, and RECTAL PUMP as well! We need to get this out of our system!"

1moremod was crying "Okay Axius, you need to do Mouth-2-Mouth on NEF! bimmette , Biorin , and Lups , you need to perform a Rectal Pump on me to get this out of my digestive track!"

When...

[NEFARIOUS]

...Nef comes to and says, "Relax guys, I was just reciting a nightmare I had, jeez! Oh crap, forgot to mention it was a nightmare. What the hell is this thing in my ass? I've never had anything inside there! It feels so frickin' wrong! But wait... What is this...?"

While he's delivering that speech and pulling the nozzle out of his previously virgin bunghole, he's dumbfounded by all the beautiful, naked women surrounding him, but still kinda weirded out by MrPrena, and Axius the only other dudes in the room that is somewhat preventing him from having a foursome, when I haven't even had a threesome before and was getting a bit ahead of myself *ahem* giddy. A tinge of doubt crosses his mind since he's not sure if they happened to be naked and came over to perform this weird quackery op that Prena suggested, or if this is the start of some weird orgy involving ass play and other things that aren't found in your average bedroom, especially since Nef isn't into BDSM/weird bullcrap at all [true story]. But then, while Nef is getting lost in Biorin's gorgeous eyes and staring intently at Bimmette's luscious lips, especially since his girl is out of town...

[Taskmaster]

Wat.

[MrPrena]

Originally Posted by NEFARIOUS

...Nef comes to and says, "Relax guys, I was just reciting a nightmare I had, jeez! Oh crap, forgot to mention it was a nightmare. What the hell is this thing in my ass? I've never had anything inside there! It feels so frickin' wrong! But wait... What is this...?"

While he's delivering that speech and pulling the nozzle out of his previously virgin bunghole, he's dumbfounded by all the beautiful, naked women surrounding him, but still kinda weirded out by MrPrena, and Axius the only other dudes in the room that is somewhat preventing him from having a foursome, when I haven't even had a threesome before and was getting a bit ahead of myself *ahem* giddy. A tinge of doubt crosses his mind since he's not sure if they happened to be naked and came over to perform this weird quackery op that Prena suggested, or if this is the start of some weird orgy involving ass play and other things that aren't found in your average bedroom, especially since Nef isn't into BDSM/weird bullcrap at all [true story]. But then, while Nef is getting lost in Biorin's gorgeous eyes and staring intently at Bimmette's luscious lips, especially since his girl is out of town...

....then we all came into NEFARIOUS room full of carboard box cut out of Biorin , bimmette , and Axius.

I asked, "Nef! why do you have a cardboard cut out of some members under your bed?"

Nef replied, "Ummm,...Umm.... mind your own business!"

Then, suddenly bimmette, biorin, Axius, and all the other members start forming a mob against NEF and said, "you sicko!"

We all decided to tar & feather him at his girlfriend's house......

[NEFARIOUS]

Originally Posted by MrPrena

....then we all came into NEFARIOUS room full of carboard box cut out of Biorin , bimmette , and Axius.

I asked, "Nef! why do you have a cardboard cut out of some members under your bed?"

Nef replied, "Ummm,...Umm.... mind your own business!"

Then, suddenly bimmette, biorin, Axius, and all the other members start forming a mob against NEF and said, "you sicko!"

We all decided to tar & feather him at his girlfriend's house......

Then Nef furiously spends 6 hours alternating between unclogging his drain, spraying engine degreaser on himself and scrubbing himself with Gojo. His skin is raw as hell, at least it's all cleaned off.

Then, since Nef was planning on taping the real-deal encounter (I mean come on, 2 hot Asian chicks?), he had his camera on since the morning. However, instead of footage of the fun, he finds MrPrena planting the cardboard cutouts, so it's obvious that he was framed.

It was at that precise moment he remembered his late dad was a biker and knows a lot about biker culture, so he rents a Harley and proceeds to a Hell's Angels MC hangout and tells them MrPrena is part of the Mongols and he fucked things up. So 20 Hogs roar into MrPrena's driveway, and they are armed to the teeth with baseball bats and crowbars. Before one of them can lay a hand on him, MrPrena craps himself and starts bawling like a newborn.

Nef decides that this would be the perfect time to free Biorin from NefPen and invite her, Axius and bimmette to witness the video, and they went from fantasizing about him to being pissed off, so while the Hell's Angels were staring MrPrena down and the rest are laughing at his cowardice mess, Biorin is beyond livid that Nef was set up like that, not to mention she spend 2 hours in NefPen and snatches a baseball bat from a biker and takes the first swing, then the rest of the HAMC joins in until he is unconscious.

Since Otis somehow hasn't made any moves on Biorin (which is a huge surprise since again, he was a serial rapist but hasn't been within 200 feet of a woman in 10 years)... But then it all makes sense as we later find out that the warden that authorized Otis' transfer to NefPen failed to tell Nef was that Otis is 100% gay and has no attraction for women, and all of Otis' victims were male.

So, it's bad enough that MrPrena lands himself into the ultra-high security yet deplorable conditions of NefPen to discourage recidivism, but soon Otis wakes him up by pouring his slop bucket over his head. Before MrPrena can open his eyes, Otis whips out a monstrous dong big enough to make Ron Jeremy cry in shame, and jabs it into MrPrena's body with no lube.

And that, my friends, is how you exact revenge on someone that not only framed you, but performed some weird shit on Nef's previously-virgin anus, but after Biorin, Bimmette and Axius apologize profusely to Nef...

[Biorin]

What the actual fucking shit

[1MOREMOD]

Originally Posted by Biorin

What the actual fucking shit

+1, Nef is a loon

[NEFARIOUS]

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

+1, Nef is a loon

Only when you fuck me.

[1MOREMOD]

Who's been fucking you?

[bimmette]

Originally Posted by Biorin

What the actual fucking shit

[NEFARIOUS]

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

Who's been fucking you?

Didn't you see the events? I've been framed and had strange things in my ass at the hands of MrPrena!

[1MOREMOD]

It's just practice for jail no worries bro.

[1MOREMOD]

Well I was going some weird shit with some aliens and went urban cowboy with asb I think.