need advice on my lil sister.

[Ninjaneer]

I don't have a sister, but even though you were hard on her and took stuff away from her, I think you need to have a heart to heart talk with her, brotherly love. Might try to throw in something about knowing how this is the age where her friends party and there's some peer pressure, but talk to her about being smart, not getting drunk so that no one takes advantage of her and she's all helpless and her friends too wasted to help (not to get herself in the situation to begin with), and drunk driving is a big no no. Tell her you wouldn't want to hear any bad news about her one day cos you all are worried about her / love her and that she can come talk to you anytime. No yelling. Just straight up listening, advice, and that she needs to recognize what type of person she wants to be: drunk party girl, or the smart girl that knows her limits but can still have fun... cos if she wants to end up with the right guy, the latter category is where she'll find the right person, not the former, and that's a right step towards building a lasting relationship versus the flavor of the month (or week, as the song goes). Tell her all that, and that you're only doing what you did cos you don't want her to mess her life up. Then give her a big hug!

[BMW320i]

Originally Posted by Ninjaneer

I don't have a sister, but even though you were hard on her and took stuff away from her, I think you need to have a heart to heart talk with her, brotherly love. Might try to throw in something about knowing how this is the age where her friends party and there's some peer pressure, but talk to her about being smart, not getting drunk so that no one takes advantage of her and she's all helpless and her friends too wasted to help (not to get herself in the situation to begin with), and drunk driving is a big no no. Tell her you wouldn't want to hear any bad news about her one day cos you all are worried about her / love her and that she can come talk to you anytime. No yelling. Just straight up listening, advice, and that she needs to recognize what type of person she wants to be: drunk party girl, or the smart girl that knows her limits but can still have fun... cos if she wants to end up with the right guy, the latter category is where she'll find the right person, not the former, and that's a right step towards building a lasting relationship versus the flavor of the month (or week, as the song goes). Tell her all that, and that you're only doing what you did cos you don't want her to mess her life up. Then give her a big hug!

couldn't have said it better

what i wanted to say and much more....

[zzinco79]

That sounds pretty horrible.

I'm an asian too and the thing that she've done is totally not acceptable in

asian family.

I guess you did right thing (distroy her phone, internet away, take the car from her).

Best thing you did is not bit her up. Teens are sensitive. They will act more wrong if you bit them up.

You might want to move her computer to living room or something.

And totally no phone and car for a while.

[SoYank]

Originally Posted by Ninjaneer

.... Then give her a big hug!

+1

[TommyBahama]

i dont get why you care, are you parents out of the picture? this isnt your problem. having the same DNA doesnt mean you have to care about someone.

[Ninjaneer]

Originally Posted by TommyBahama

i dont get why you care, are you parents out of the picture? this isnt your problem. having the same DNA doesnt mean you have to care about someone.

I see great things in your future.

[TommyBahama]

Originally Posted by Ninjaneer

I see great things in your future.

the girl is an adult and it isnt his daughter. even if you come from a close family, you should let her live her own life.

[Ninjaneer]

Originally Posted by TommyBahama

the girl is an adult and it isnt his daughter. even if you come from a close family, you should let her live her own life.

You mean let history repeat itself instead of learning from other's mistakes.

And being an adult, or reaching 18 in the USA, doesn't make you smart or know how to handle situations. This throw them out to the wolves mentality has a very damaging impact on society at large if you care to think about it deeper.

So if you had a sister that started doing drugs, or whoring herself for public consumption, you'd be fine with it? "My sister is #4 prostitute in all of ..." - like Borat? Please.

[TommyBahama]

Originally Posted by Ninjaneer

You mean let history repeat itself instead of learning from other's mistakes.

And being an adult, or reaching 18 in the USA, doesn't make you smart or know how to handle situations. This throw them out to the wolves mentality has a very damaging impact on society at large if you care to think about it deeper.

So if you had a sister that started doing drugs, or whoring herself for public consumption, you'd be fine with it? "My sister is #4 prostitute in all of ..." - like Borat? Please.

he hasnt said she was an actual whore or drug addict. and even then i wouldnt try to ground her and take away her stuff. she is an adult, however stupid she may be.

if she wants help i wouldnt say no, i just wouldnt force it on her.

[Ninjaneer]

Originally Posted by TommyBahama

he hasnt said she was an actual whore or drug addict. and even then i wouldnt try to ground her and take away her stuff. she is an adult, however stupid she may be.

if she wants help i wouldnt say no, i just wouldnt force it on her.

I was speaking in general.

[TommyBahama]

Originally Posted by Ninjaneer

I was speaking in general.

if she was a drug addicted street walker then yea, i would step in. but what is going on in this thread sounds like a normal 18 year old girl. i went to school with a fair number of girls who acted like this guy's sister, only one has ended up being a waste of life.

[eclivia]

Originally Posted by TommyBahama

the girl is an adult and it isnt his daughter. even if you come from a close family, you should let her live her own life.

i am her brother and i love her to death. and yes she gonna live her own life, but i love her and want to point in her the right direction, put some sense in her.i was once 18 and i know how girls are, and i know how my sister is.she is an innocent girl that start going out. at that stage is the worst, she is too naive and im trying to make her understand between responible drinking and out of control drinking. as wat she did last night, drunk as fuk slept over at some guys house(its a disgrace for asian culture and btw i didnt tell her mom and kept it)if my mom knew about it, she would have been kick out. for asian family, u live under there roof u have to follow there rules.i just dont want her to make mistakes like alot of girls out there that are 18.i want her to have a good life and know wassup.theres nothin i can do right now or make her do this and that, but i want her to know family always first before lovers or friends.last night she was drunk as fuk, didnt call home while me and my mom was fuking worry, calling all her friends, i even check live freeway cameras on nbc to see if theres any accident. but the point is we were worry and she out there having fun.its gonna long lol so im gonna stop typing

[BlueLion]

bro...only you know how to handle your sister......
some here are saying to give her a hug....and some agree with what you did, only you know what is going to work.....the worst thing you could do is nothing
i have a younger sister, she's 21, she does everything right except when it comes to guys.....then she gets stupid....and i tried being the good brother and talking to her....didnt work, she didnt listen.....i tried being the tough older brother....didnt work, she stopped telling me things....but i havent given up on her....what works for my sister is to let her do what she is going to do...because she is going to do it anyway, give her my advice, and tell her how i feel about what she is doing....and hope and pray she wakes up......bro i get how you feel.....i come from an Asian family, well an Indian family, but were strict just the same....you have to understand that taking away the car, phone, and internet....your not taking away her intentions on doing what she wants to do, just the means.....eventually she will get her car back, the phone and your going to be back where your started....

[TahoeOG]

Why didn't you go with her to the party. F*& that bro. I'm 24 but my brother is 3 years older than my sister. Everytime my sister would want to go to a party, my parents would send my brother with her. Hey that turned out just fine. Well, my brother got into a good amount of fights, but hey kept it cool. My sister turned out just fine. If you know your sister is going to go to a party with crazy teens, shit go with her... you might end up meeting her older friends and hookin up with them. That's what i would do, in the mean while watch over her. I don't know bro that's my 2 cents.

And my opinion as to what should you do when she get's home..."talk to her" "listen to her" "don't scream" MANNNN... F@#$%# that SHI@#%... Grow balls bi@#es. If my sister was out till morning.... Slept over a guys house..... GOt home drunk.....??!?!?! You think i will sit down and say, hello, please let me help you, here give me a hug let's talk... The only thing that would be going thru her mind is, f this, i'll talk to this idiot for a couple of minutes, still went out... still got drunk... and still...(let's hope this didn't happen) got layed. Bro you need to avoid things like that. Your a guy man don't act like your a stay home nerd. Unless you are, then you do not know what goes on in world of parties. Get clued in man... Party+Drunk girl+house+no respected curfue by girl = FUNNNNNN ASSSS TIME ALLLLLL NIGHTTTT LOOONNNGGGGG.... I mean she doesn't have to be drunk but come on, unless you have a GF, what's the MAIN reason you go to clubs?... @$$.... Female = @$$ in most guys mind, especially when drinks are involved. Plus she didn't have to go home that night????

Yo F leaving it up to your parents you her OLDER brother. I don't mean beat her, or make her antisocial, but you need a closer relationship between you and her. Chill out with her sometimes, know her friends, become more of a friend BEFORE these things happen, not become on WHEN they DO happen. Bro when i was 16+ thru before i met my girl, man i met girls at house parties, they WEREN'T drunk and they just liked to have fun, so did their "girfriends" 80% of the times, ended up waken up next to her in bed. I didn't dissrespect girls but few girls like to go out and dance and have healthy fun... FEW.... MANY like to go out and want to have fun but end up .... well think bro.

Good luck man... Become more closer to your sis now... Now just when shit goes down. And don't always leave it up to parents. Your her older brother. Leave the punishing to your parents, but leave the avoiding problems part to you. Your not her parents so you can't punish her, but as a older brother you can lead her a good path. If she get's off track than that leaves for her to make her own choice as becoming a mature adult and make her own errors. with your guidence she'll make good choices. with back comes she will learn and get punished from her parents if it's extreme.

Parents pay bills, work, have a shit load of things to do, they don't know what you do when you leave the house, all they know is what you tell them. So if you say i'm going to the library, some to most will believe that.

PEACE

[just4kickz]

Originally Posted by billmister

Why didn't you go with her to the party. F*& that bro. I'm 24 but my brother is 3 years older than my sister. Everytime my sister would want to go to a party, my parents would send my brother with her. Hey that turned out just fine. Well, my brother got into a good amount of fights, but hey kept it cool. My sister turned out just fine. If you know your sister is going to go to a party with crazy teens, shit go with her... you might end up meeting her older friends and hookin up with them. That's what i would do, in the mean while watch over her. I don't know bro that's my 2 cents.

And my opinion as to what should you do when she get's home..."talk to her" "listen to her" "don't scream" MANNNN... F@#$%# that SHI@#%... Grow balls bi@#es. If my sister was out till morning.... Slept over a guys house..... GOt home drunk.....??!?!?! You think i will sit down and say, hello, please let me help you, here give me a hug let's talk... The only thing that would be going thru her mind is, f this, i'll talk to this idiot for a couple of minutes, still went out... still got drunk... and still...(let's hope this didn't happen) got layed. Bro you need to avoid things like that. Your a guy man don't act like your a stay home nerd. Unless you are, then you do not know what goes on in world of parties. Get clued in man... Party+Drunk girl+house+no respected curfue by girl = FUNNNNNN ASSSS TIME ALLLLLL NIGHTTTT LOOONNNGGGGG.... I mean she doesn't have to be drunk but come on, unless you have a GF, what's the MAIN reason you go to clubs?... @$$.... Female = @$$ in most guys mind, especially when drinks are involved. Plus she didn't have to go home that night????

Yo F leaving it up to your parents you her OLDER brother. I don't mean beat her, or make her antisocial, but you need a closer relationship between you and her. Chill out with her sometimes, know her friends, become more of a friend BEFORE these things happen, not become on WHEN they DO happen. Bro when i was 16+ thru before i met my girl, man i met girls at house parties, they WEREN'T drunk and they just liked to have fun, so did their "girfriends" 80% of the times, ended up waken up next to her in bed. I didn't dissrespect girls but few girls like to go out and dance and have healthy fun... FEW.... MANY like to go out and want to have fun but end up .... well think bro.

Good luck man... Become more closer to your sis now... Now just when shit goes down. And don't always leave it up to parents. Your her older brother. Leave the punishing to your parents, but leave the avoiding problems part to you. Your not her parents so you can't punish her, but as a older brother you can lead her a good path. If she get's off track than that leaves for her to make her own choice as becoming a mature adult and make her own errors. with your guidence she'll make good choices. with back comes she will learn and get punished from her parents if it's extreme.

Parents pay bills, work, have a shit load of things to do, they don't know what you do when you leave the house, all they know is what you tell them. So if you say i'm going to the library, some to most will believe that.

PEACE

summation:

go to parties with your sister.

[TahoeOG]

Originally Posted by just4kickz

summation:

go to parties with your sister.

[aapriadi]

or....help me to be ur sis' new bf...i wont break her heart

[BigO1120]

eclivia...you did the right thing with your sister. And if your sister continues to act up even after all of that...a good Cross-Check into a wall wouldn't hurt either. That's the problem with parents now a days...they think that talking to kids will work. HELLS NO! You need to knock the $H!T out them. And if that doesn't work then you knock them out again. I'm hispanic and if there are any hispanics out there then they know that mothers especially aren't like your white suburban mothers who buy stuff for their kids to keep them quiet just so that they don't make a scene at the supermarket. HELLS NO! Hispanic mothers will WHOOP the bananas out of you right then and there and run you over with the shopping...just to give you a real reason to cry.

I have 2 cousins who are girls but I love to death as if they were my own sisters. Thank goodness that my aunt and uncle raised them well but they do act up every once in a while. When it comes to the topic of boys (or men) I'm always up their butts. They're more afraid of having their boyfriends meet me then their own father. The youngest of the 2 is a junior in high school and she is now in the hanging out and going to parties scene. I'm constantly up her butt and keeping her on check. Lord knows (whatever Lord you believe in) that I've had my share of explosive moments with my cousins when they've acted up.

I remember looking for my cousin (the oldest of the 2) at a party she was at. When I got there all of her friends looked at me as if they saw a ghost. At that moment I knew something was up and I told one her friends to tell me immediately where she was at. Turns out that some guy had gotten her drunk and took her upstairs. Luckily I was in time before the show started. I ended up punching the guy right in his chest, draggin him out of the room by his hair (he had pretty long hair) and then throwing him down the flight of stairs. The party was pretty much done after that.

So what I'm trying to say eclivia is that if she ends up buying herself another phone...you break that phone too. If she's drunk at a party...go get her! And if she's in a room with some asshole...make sure you hit him square in the sternum (it'll knock out the air in his lungs) and launch him down the stairs!

All this HOLD HER, and HUG HER, and TELL HER THAT YOU LOVE HER AND YOU'RE HERE TO LISTEN is just bullshit! What you say will go in one ear and out the other quickly...but a good beat down will leave marks on her for a while!

Spitting glass at yo ass!

[RiXst3r]

Its only going to get worse if you ignore it... keep her on track, dont let her slide down that path any further... I know many a girl that got into the mode where they live 2 lives, one as a party girl, with no respect for herself, and the other side acts like a hurt puppy to their family, when they are just playing you! Its their choice to go home with a guy, or get drunk, they need to respect themselves enough to know better.

And her friends will be your biggest problem, they will get her into more trouble than she ever could get into on her own, and then leave her for dead.

[TahoeOG]

Originally Posted by BigO1120

eclivia...you did the right thing with your sister. And if your sister continues to act up even after all of that...a good Cross-Check into a wall wouldn't hurt either. That's the problem with parents now a days...they think that talking to kids will work. HELLS NO! You need to knock the $H!T out them. And if that doesn't work then you knock them out again. I'm hispanic and if there are any hispanics out there then they know that mothers especially aren't like your white suburban mothers who buy stuff for their kids to keep them quiet just so that they don't make a scene at the supermarket. HELLS NO! Hispanic mothers will WHOOP the bananas out of you right then and there and run you over with the shopping...just to give you a real reason to cry.

LOL yo that's REAL SHIT!!!(Billmister=Hispanic)
Now i wouldn't go with beating her ass or throwing her agains the wall and shit but just what i wrote up their in my post. Be her friend before shit goes down, not when it goes down.

Yo Big1120 your post made me laugh my ASS of here at work. I was busting out man... LOL your shit is funny. "Hispanic mothers will whoop that bananas out fo you"... HAHAHAHAHAH That's true man. Most hispani parents have it under control with a look. If you start to cry at the store and they give you that look... You KNOW you better STFU because if you don't!!! oohhhhh SNAPPPP...... You are catchin it.

I don't condone beat downs to kids... But what i'm saying is have a good relation with them. And if they get out of line, let them know that's not tollerated. No "hug me", or "listen" Shit let them know you will not have that shit... Otherwise they will walk all over you little bi@#$ @$$.

[txusa03]

That's funny BigO

eclivia, your sis is 18. Yelling at an 18 and getting up on her face aint gonna do much help. When she gets over the hangover and you get over your anger (I can understand your anger), sit down have an talk with her. She is 18 so at that age, i would guess that talking to her like an adult would help alot. The problem with life is if make a mistake, you cannot undo it. So it is correct that you are trying to help her out before it is too late. But don't talk to her with anger or YELL. gl.

[MrSilver]

Originally Posted by ward

+1