Why do people WANT kids?

[carve]

Well, sounds like you got a sugar daddy, so problem solved. Your job is keeping him happy

[Feanor]

Originally Posted by John 070

...
Now, a delivery exceeds 50k, so for whatever health plan you have, the mom will max her out-of-pocket. Ours was 1k (THANK GOODNESS) but nowadays you see 7k, 10k, 13k, etc. on lousy employer plans. $975 in no way offsets 7k.

Waitasec... giving birth in the US costs $50,000? Am I reading that right?

[Sara]

Originally Posted by carve

Well, sounds like you got a sugar daddy, so problem solved. Your job is keeping him happy

lol why does everyone call him that! We love each other! ................most days. No Im just kidding.. take away all the money and I love him just the same. Im actually trying to get him to relocate to Louisiana to raise our baby but he just cant give up the lifestyle. I dont mind the simple life but he has a hard time with it.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Feanor

Waitasec... giving birth in the US costs $50,000? Am I reading that right?

It can if something goes way wrong. A normal vaginal delivery is about 5 grand not including any pre or post dr visits during the pregnancy.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by carve

Well...why did you? There must've been a reason prior to this

I was selfish!! The world only revolves around ME dont you know you? Seriously I was a selfish brat. Didnt have enough time as it was to do everything I wanted to do so why on earth would I want something thats so clingy and needy and would take up more of my precious time away from me? Thats why I "waited."

Now I see my world in a completely different view and its making me a different person and I love it.

I'm only 26 and I have the rest of my life to complete my bucket list and do everything Ive always wanted to do and now I have a mini me to share everything with and I think its much better this way.

[PINeely]

Originally Posted by Sara504

lol why does everyone call him that! We love each other! ................most days. No Im just kidding.. take away all the money and I love him just the same. Im actually trying to get him to relocate to Louisiana to raise our baby but he just cant give up the lifestyle. I dont mind the simple life but he has a hard time with it.

Aw hell that's a shame, nobody ever wants to move to the South until they get here, then you can't get them to leave lol. Aren't you from NOLA anyway? Hardly the simple life.

[KingOfJericho]

Originally Posted by carve

Sara: unless you "accidentally " got pregnant, it wasn't a conscious decision. But...sounds like you think you're some kind of maryter for having kids. It sounds like a bad idea to have kids UNLESS you're doing it for yourself....because you think the benefits outweigh the costs

I didn't require much attention at 15 on, so it wasn't a jealousy issue...it was a constantly annoyed by the temper tantrums and mess issue.

My girl and I were having this conversation with some late 40's friends yesterday. I mentioned one mutual set of friends of ours who I thought were the only ones I knew who were raising great kids AND seemed happy and successful. They said that couple basically lives separate lives outside of child rearing and they're sure they'll part ways after they get older

I can't find a single example in my life, friends and family, of a family who has good kids and are happy with a great, healthy relationship.

What you're pointing out is that relationships in general are tough. Why didn't it work out with your ex? We know it wasn't kids... My uncle has never had kids and he's been divorced three times. My Aunt has three kids and is divorced but that failed because they were incompatible in the first place. The first component of a successful relationship with kids is a successful relationship without kids.

The conversation with your friends about other friends seems silly. They don't have any insight into the goings on in their personal lives so who are they to judge? When parents are multitasking, it can often be confused for leading separate lives.

[kevinbahnz]

Originally Posted by Feanor

Waitasec... giving birth in the US costs $50,000? Am I reading that right?

My wife and I just went to get prenatal care last week and we have to pay $3500. just for the Doc. including labor but labs and blood work are extra. We also have to pay for using the Hospital room and toilet paper, gauze and whatever they use during the labor. I'm gonna call the Hospital today to find out approximately how much it's going to cost to use their facility.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by PINeely

Aw hell that's a shame, nobody ever wants to move to the South until they get here, then you can't get them to leave lol. Aren't you from NOLA anyway? Hardly the simple life.

Born and raised in Nola,....compared to Beverly Hills and Hollywood...New Orleans is a much much easier city IMO lol I like either city. I can live both places.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by kevinbahnz

My wife and I just went to get prenatal care last week and we have to pay $3500. just for the Doc. including labor but labs and blood work are extra. We also have to pay for using the Hospital room and toilet paper, gauze and whatever they use during the labor. I'm gonna call the Hospital today to find out approximately how much it's going to cost to use their facility.

What the hell kind of insurance do you have? Shit you reminded me I have to do a lab this week before I hit 25 weeks. Ugh why so many damn tests.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by ddk632

Insurance or not, the cost of the birth is the same.

Not its not. If you have insurance, insurance pays all/most of it. So your cost of birth is not the same.

[ddk632]

Originally Posted by Sara504

Not its not. If you have insurance, insurance pays all/most of it. So your cost of birth is not the same.

I deleted the comment because it was aimed at the $50k comments, not the $3500 one just above, and I thought it might be confusing.

Anyway my point was that the cost is the same for the birth -- the hospital, doctors, etc., charge the same. The difference is if you pay it all or your insurance pays most of it. The cost to the insured is obviously different, but that was not what I was referring to.

The guy who made the $50k comment is in the UK, where they have the NHS and the costs of medical procedures in the US are a lot higher than many European countries, in general, because of socialized medicine.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by ddk632

I deleted the comment because it was aimed at the $50k comments, not the $3500 one just above, and I thought it might be confusing.

Anyway my point was that the cost is the same for the birth -- the hospital, doctors, etc., charge the same. The difference is if you pay it all or your insurance pays most of it. The cost to the insured is obviously different, but that was not what I was referring to.

The guy who made the $50k comment is in the UK, where they have the NHS and the costs of medical procedures in the US are a lot higher than many European countries, in general, because of socialized medicine.

[Trijicon]

Originally Posted by carve

I can't find a single example in my life, friends and family, of a family who has good kids and are happy with a great, healthy relationship.

Not sure if this is a cultural thing? or just the company you keep or what. I are surrounded by perfect examples of healthy families/marriage (families with 2+ kids). My parents were a perfect example of this. My wife wasn't however, she came from a broken family and was always skeptical about raising a kid. In our twenties we splurged and traveled.. a lot. We felt like Europe was our second home and considered moving there (glad we didn't). After all the traveling and spending, we got to a point where we were looking for "the next step" in our growth and relationship. We weren't bored, we just felt like we can do more and grow more. The trips to Australia and HK weren't doing it. That's when the decision to have kids came up. We were skeptical but were curious. We got pregnant the first month we started "trying" and we freak out!!! I quickly became excited, but my wife still had doubts and fears.......until she heard the heart beat for the first time... then her world changed.

Fast forward three years, we have this amazing 3yr old boy and a 4 month old boy. We couldn't be happier. Last night we celebrated my wife's bday. My mom watched the kids and ate at a two star Michelin restaurant and had drinks at an awesome speak easy.... Our conversation had nothing to do with the kids. It revolved around my wife's next book she's reading, her workout goals for the month (she's working on the baby weight), my Ironman training, work, Ukraine, the missing jet, our upcoming Disneyland trip, our relationship, and the upcoming F1 season basic life stuff. Life's pretty awesome from our eyes.

Oh btw, I did sell my 335i when my first son was born. Now my wife drives and 2011 A4 Avant and I drive a 2013 A3. I work from home so I don't need a big/fast car.

Like other's were saying, the fact that you are asking the questions is great. At least you will be more informed. Like others also said, you can't measure or weigh the intangibles. Remember, bad-misbehaved kids most likely due to the bad parenting. I'd like 70/30. 70 parenting and 30 kid's personality.

Good luck!

[Trijicon]

Originally Posted by ddk632

I deleted the comment because it was aimed at the $50k comments, not the $3500 one just above, and I thought it might be confusing.

Anyway my point was that the cost is the same for the birth -- the hospital, doctors, etc., charge the same. The difference is if you pay it all or your insurance pays most of it. The cost to the insured is obviously different, but that was not what I was referring to.

The guy who made the $50k comment is in the UK, where they have the NHS and the costs of medical procedures in the US are a lot higher than many European countries, in general, because of socialized medicine.

We picked the wrong year to have a high deductible plan... we got pregnant March last year. We paid around $5k with our plan. Sucks...

Our first son only cost $10. The initial visit copay.

[kevinbahnz]

Originally Posted by Sara504

What the hell kind of insurance do you have? Shit you reminded me I have to do a lab this week before I hit 25 weeks. Ugh why so many damn tests.

No insurance, I pay for everything out of pocket. I had a crappy health ins for a year and decided to cancel and pay everything myself. They do bill differently for non-insured and insured.

[ddk632]

Originally Posted by Trijicon

We picked the wrong year to have a high deductible plan... we got pregnant March last year. We paid around $5k with our plan. Sucks...

Our first son only cost $10. The initial visit copay.

Yeah I know the drill.

My first kid was on wife's insurance, cost nearly $8k out of pocket.
Kid #2 cost about $100.

Good insurance with low/no deductible and 100% coverage makes a huge difference.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by kevinbahnz

No insurance, I pay for everything out of pocket. I had a crappy health ins for a year and decided to cancel and pay everything myself. They do bill differently for non-insured and insured.

Dude get her insured! Even if its from the state. Everything can be going smoothly until she goes to push and if she needs an emergency C section you can kiss 15,000 out the window just for that. It happens a lot more than you think.

[Boben5]

Originally Posted by Sara504

lol why does everyone call him that! We love each other! ................most days. No Im just kidding.. take away all the money and I love him just the same. Im actually trying to get him to relocate to Louisiana to raise our baby but he just cant give up the lifestyle. I dont mind the simple life but he has a hard time with it.

So you had a baby with a man your not married too? And you want him to relocate? Hah I bet you 80% chance he will not relocate. I hope you can prove me wrong. He hasn't committed (marriage) to you so why would he. Again like i said before I'm sorry for the child.

[ddk632]

Unless Obamacare has changed this, you cannot obtain insurance for a pregnancy which is already in progress.

[Trijicon]

Originally Posted by ddk632

Unless Obamacare has changed this, you cannot obtain insurance for a pregnancy which is already in progress.

Nope, pregnancy is still considered a "pre existing condition" and is not an exemption according to the ACA

[Sara]

Originally Posted by benbo5

So you had a baby with a man your not married too? And you want him to relocate? Hah I bet you 80% chance he will not relocate. I hope you can prove me wrong. He hasn't committed (marriage) to you so why would he. Again like i said before I'm sorry for the child.

It doesnt matter to me. I LOVE California and I also like Louisiana. He's mentioned to me more than just a few times he's done with California and wants a "change of scenery."

Not really concerned about being married at the moment.