Roommate ran off...

[Peanuto]

Originally Posted by JayKay335i

If you post an add on craigs list you'll wind up waking up within a week with somebody standing over your bed forcefully masturbating with saran wrap and mayonnaise as lubrication. Chances are they'll jam a flat head screw driver up your pee hole.

I concur, and I am technically a professional. Not in the chronic masturbatory screwdriver field, but in real estate. Don't go Craigslist.

[Comet]

if I were you, I'd put up an ad where you say "looking for stripper room-mate @ reduced rent"

you get your cash, you get a stripper hot roomie with lots of hot stripper friends that you might be able to bang...

[NYCGarbagePrince]

Originally Posted by JayKay335i

If you post an add on craigs list you'll wind up waking up within a week with somebody standing over your bed forcefully masturbating with saran wrap and mayonnaise as lubrication. Chances are they'll jam a flat head screw driver up your pee hole.

you are a sick fucking kid... hilarious though..

[JayKay335i]

Holy fucken awesome idea. Please post a sign at the strip club. Bold "Will accept $1 bills and bartering"

Much less of a chance of urethral ownage. Much higher chance of needing penicillin.

[lib]

Originally Posted by Aonarch

Rooming with the girlfriend is my last last resort! Lol that would suck. I can't really persue him, because its just not worth it. He only owes me about $300, but is paid up in rent.

Pray she never finds this thread...

Originally Posted by NYCGarbagePrince

you are a sick fucking kid... hilarious though..

Spend any time on Craigslist and you'd assume the same thing. It WILL happen...

[Spec 1]

Sucks, bro. Had someone do the same thing to me when I was 19 or 20 years old.

Don't let the gf move in, she won't leave. Had THAT happen too around 22. Ha!

[ideliver]

Originally Posted by JayKay335i

I keep a 2x4 with a nail in it in the closet.

i'll keep my Kimber Stainless .45

[Alexander]

I definitely do not want a Philips head up my pee hole. I'll still post an ad on craigslist, but I'm trying to find a chick 21-30 years old to room with.

[silvergray545]

JayKay never fails to crack me up. Hahaha

[JayKay335i]

Originally Posted by Aonarch

I definitely do not want a Philips head up my pee hole. I'll still post an ad on craigslist, but I'm trying to find a chick 21-30 years old to room with.

MOTHER FUCKER. This isn't 1984. Nobody said a phillips head. A goddam flat head. Not the little prissy shit for taking out watch batteries. I'm talking about those thick ass wide home depot "I'm a motherfucken carpenter, look at my big flat head" type shit. You're going to piss blood like the kidney stone guy.

[JayKay335i]

PS. If you room with a 21-30yr old female that is willing to live with you, she will bring a man home from the bar and enjoy being sodomized. After that, he will stand over your bed profusely masturbating and panting while simultaneously jamming a flat head in your pee hole AND a finger in your butt.

[BTM]

I have some revisions to your idea:

1. Get an 18-22 yr old chick and webcam the shit out of her room
2. Don't webcam you getting your peehole jammed with a flathead by the guy that just fucked her in the ass while I jerked off online
3. ????
4. Profit

[JayKay335i]

Originally Posted by BTM

I have some revisions to your idea:

1. Get an 18-22 yr old chick and webcam the shit out of her room
2. Don't webcam you getting your peehole jammed with a flathead by the guy that just fucked her in the ass while I jerked off online
3. ????
4. Profit

You'd make more money video taping the screw driver in the pee hole.

[Alexander]

Ummm ok I'll tak JayKays advice with a grain of salt. But... yes webcam the room.... seriously.... money.... amateur home made porn... plus I could star in some of it.

I keep my Benelli M2 under my bed and a Glock 19 in my bedside table ready to rock. So no pee hole jamming is going to happen without my consent dammit!

No one is going to have sex with my sister but me!!! 0:32!!!

[JayKay335i]

+

You

=

[Maestro]

Originally Posted by JayKay335i

If you post an add on craigs list you'll wind up waking up within a week with somebody standing over your bed forcefully masturbating with saran wrap and mayonnaise as lubrication. Chances are they'll jam a flat head screw driver up your pee hole.

Sounds like you speak from experience.