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      09-13-2012, 01:03 PM   #1
shah269
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Why people don't skydive!

By the one the only the amazing...Shah note attached

1) It's expensive! Per minute of hot hookers and blow are cheaper! In fact
if you have the hookers bring you the blow...it's still cheaper!

2) It's dangerous! I mean hookers and blow are dangerous but this shit is
really dangerous! When was the last time you saw a hooker get her panties in
a twist and slam your sorry coke filled head into the ground? Well other
than that one time when you found out that said hooker was really a dude and
you didn't want to pay her!

3) Speaking of dudes! It's a freaking sausage fest! Who wants to willingly
spend this kind of money to be in a place where a peg legged, one eyed, hook
handed, one titted tandem passenger is the hot one! Mean while you got like
15 guys holding hands in a big circle rocking colors that would make a blind
gay man cry....It's like a total gay pride event in the sky all that's
missing is the drag queen!

4) 90% of the time you can't jump! You drive like 4 hours to get to a drop
zone only to find out because there is one cloud in the sky you can't
skydive! Listen I paid good money for something that costs more than hookers
and blow and I'm holding other mens hands here I'm not afraid of a little
cloud punching! Hell there is a rainbow in there and we are men holding
hands!

5) You can't show off for the ladies! Yeah the reason why any man does
anything ever in the history of time was to increase his testicular mass and
to show off to the ladies!
Cave man "Look I made fire"
Cave girl "Oh you are so handsome let's have sex!"

Greek dude "Look I discovered math!"
Greek girl "Oh you are so handsome let's have sex!"

Roman dude "Look I invented architecture!"
Roman chick "Grab a pack of Trojans and let's do this!"
==>fast forward<==

Hot rod dude "Look I can drag race faster than that guy!"
Hot rod chick "Oh let's make out in the back seat!"

Squid dude "I like did a sick thing on the bike and it was lie wow!"
Squid chick "Ah you are so brave let's fuck NOW I'll keep my leather boots
on!"

Skydiver dude "So I like held hands with these 3 other guys for like a
minute while my friend took pictures."
Random girl at bar "You hold hands with other guys!"

6) They are just not radical enough!

Last edited by shah269; 09-13-2012 at 02:25 PM..
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      09-13-2012, 02:23 PM   #2
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      09-13-2012, 02:50 PM   #3
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lay off the coke
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      09-14-2012, 08:43 PM   #4
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shaw269 dude: "Hey baby...I just made a hilarious post *reads post to girl*

random girl at bar: "You're not funny"
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      09-14-2012, 08:47 PM   #5
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*Butthead face*

uhh....

uhh...

uhh... huh huh....
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      09-14-2012, 08:53 PM   #6
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      09-14-2012, 08:58 PM   #7
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      09-14-2012, 09:38 PM   #8
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      09-15-2012, 02:46 AM   #9
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I'm typing this to impress chicks on forums
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      09-15-2012, 03:02 AM   #10
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      09-15-2012, 08:09 AM   #11
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      09-15-2012, 09:57 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ideliver View Post
shaw269 dude: "Hey baby...I just made a hilarious post *reads post to girl*

random girl at bar: "You're not funny"


/thread
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      09-15-2012, 09:18 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shah269 View Post
2) It's dangerous! I mean hookers and blow are dangerous but this shit is
really dangerous! When was the last time you saw a hooker get her panties in
a twist and slam your sorry coke filled head into the ground?
Well other
than that one time when you found out that said hooker was really a dude and
you didn't want to pay her!
When's the last time you watched someone die skydiving???

Not a ton of fun to watch. Right next door to Wolf Creek in Mesquite, NV is a very popular skydiving site.

So they're jumping almost right over top of the golf course....chute malfunctions and you get to watch two people plummet to their deaths.

Good times.

http://www.lvrj.com/news/two-skydive...131432148.html
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      09-16-2012, 08:54 AM   #14
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OP did this to impress his boyfriend.
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      09-17-2012, 10:49 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wakka View Post
OP did this to impress his boyfriend.
Oh he was very impressed!
We held hands on our last jump! It was so romantic. He told me he would call later!

But yeah you can die in the sport. Though the odds are better now that we have new tech but yeah every year about 20or so folks die. =\ it sucks but...well it's a bit of an addiction really.

This past friday I was out $120 for all of 6 minutes of joy?
It is not for every one. For those of us who it is for...it's a very difficult addiction to explain.

But i will tell you this....this on my last jump when we were doing a track dive into the setting sun...for that minute...life was just about perfect...and the though of pulling to save my life was distant idea.

Just wish it were a little less expensive and there were more than 4 girls in the sport.
But such is life.
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      09-17-2012, 12:55 PM   #16
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My grandpa met his 20-year-younger fit and adventurous wife on a jump. The ladies are they're, and when you find 'em they are NOT boring Until then, neither is the jumping. Much safer than, say, motorcycles, too.
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      09-17-2012, 01:05 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carve
My grandpa met his 20-year-younger fit and adventurous wife on a jump. The ladies are they're, and when you find 'em they are NOT boring Until then, neither is the jumping. Much safer than, say, motorcycles, too.
More safer than motorcycles? Statistically, exactly what data do you refer to derive at this statement? Sure, more people die on motorcycles yearly, however, you can't base such a comment only on number of deaths. What about hours annually per riding -vs- jumping?
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      09-17-2012, 01:08 PM   #18
shah269
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GO GRANDPA!
Did you high five him?

Yeah bikes......god i love my old GPZ-1100....but she has been in the shop for a year now.

But the rant was what i wrote to a friend who was thinking of taking up the sport and I thought perhaps it was best he not pick it up.

After reading it was a total sausage fest......he agreed.
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      09-17-2012, 01:10 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baremeg55 View Post
More safer than motorcycles? Statistically, exactly what data do you refer to derive at this statement? Sure, more people die on motorcycles yearly, however, you can't base such a comment only on number of deaths. What about hours annually per riding -vs- jumping?
Most people only spend a few hours per year in the air. Anyone can spend a few hours a day on a bike at the drop of a hat. The short duration necessarily reduces your potential for exposure. I'd be willing to bet on a minute-by-minute basis, it's still safer than, say, motocross.

Yeah- he's awesome. Last Nov he did 81 jumps on his 80th birthday. Here're a couple of pics I took. The flag one was published in a skydiving magazine.
Attached Images
  
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      09-17-2012, 03:32 PM   #20
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oooh hop and pops...for the pops! NICE!
I'm only on jump 90 so he has greater testicular mass than i do. By far!
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      09-19-2012, 04:26 PM   #21
shah269
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So do you think you will ever join him in the sky?
Has he offered to teach you?
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      09-19-2012, 08:47 PM   #22
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I don't skydive anymore, but this was my 100th jump celebration.. When I first started, one of my instructors rode a Hayabusa, so after jumping was done for the day we used to go out riding a few times. We joked that it would be cool to jump in our bike gear...


davidbikesuit04 by ddk632, on Flickr


davidbikesuit09 by ddk632, on Flickr

By the way I never heard of anyone who got into skydiving for the ladies. Yes they are there, but to be in this sport, it's all about the adrenaline fix. I was never into the holding hands part

I preferred solo jumps, sit flying, tracking, etc., and night jumps - if you've never done a night jump, do one!
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