Why do people WANT kids?

[LinkA8A0A]

Anthony Weiner?

[Litos]

Originally Posted by LinkA8A0A

Anthony Weiner?

close.....

Rendon....

[LinkA8A0A]

Originally Posted by Litos

close.....

Rendon....

I know I was just being stupid...he's got a bright future in the MLB.

[Litos]

Originally Posted by LinkA8A0A

I know I was just being stupid...he's got a bright future in the MLB.

I wanted the Astros to pick him up

[gatorfast]

Originally Posted by ddk632

I think some common sense should apply here, though. If one is living paycheck to paycheck with zero left over each month, having a kid at that time financially speaking is probably not the greatest idea.

Of course. I was more speaking in a general sense that you will never feel you have "enough". There is no magic number.

[AtlantaDude]

Christ.... Damn good thread. Great view points. Damn great pics!

One thing everyone has missed though....

Shitty diapers... No thanks. I have my own ass to take care of. Lol. I'll wait till I can afford to adopt past that stage.

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by Bear From Jax

Shitty diapers... No thanks. I have my own ass to take care of.

We are just starting to potty train our last one and I can't wait until it takes...

And I mean this is our LAST one.

[carve]

Originally Posted by MiddleAgedAl

According to USDA, the cost to raise a child born in 2011 to the age of 18 (not counting college) can range from $212K to over $490 grand. (depends on income, households with more income tend to spend more on their kids; the 490 is for households with 2 parents earning grand total income before tax of > 102k, hardly 1%ers)
.

Ouch- so $1000-$2300/mo per kid! It's like buying a house! Then I'd have to do private school and college

[carve]

Originally Posted by Litos

LOL- that response coming from the guy who said he waited until he had enough to spoil his kids before he decided to have them.

[KingOfJericho]

Originally Posted by carve

Ouch- so $1000-$2300/mo per kid! It's like buying a house! Then I'd have to do private school and college

Dude, daycare alone is $350-550 a week.

[carve]

Originally Posted by KingOfJericho

Those are projections and in 18 years, an M3 will be $150k, easy, and show me one person on this board who has kept their M3 for 18 years and I'll eat my hat. Most here will easily spend $212-490k on cars over the next two decades.

I'm 37 and have owned three cars in my life, two of which I still have: a 1995 Cherokee I've had for 17 years and my 07 335i I've had for just over 5 (and only paid $28k for at 1.5 years old). It's still worth $18-ish, so I spent about $2000 per YEAR on driving a nice car so far, compared to something fully depreciated like my Jeep. I'm careful with my money.

There are many who paid nothing for their cars on here but that's not who I'm talking about. If you're going on three vacations a year, skiing every weekend, buying mods for your cars, and eating out 3+ nights a week, it's hard for me to listen to you tell me that you can't afford a child.

It's not that we couldn't afford it...it's that it'd be at the expense of all those things we enjoy, and would force us to be working stiffs for many more years of our lives when we could be traveling the world. BTW- my ski pass is $300 year and I get about 20 days out of it. $15/day- how extravagant I'm careful with my money. Gas is my biggest skiing expense.

[carve]

Originally Posted by Bear From Jax

Shitty diapers... No thanks. I have my own ass to take care of. Lol. I'll wait till I can afford to adopt past that stage.

+1 Most people think this is shallow, but I can't stand the idea of having to handle human feces for several years One reason I didn't get another dog is I'm more urban now. Prior, I always had woods out back and would teach my dogs to go out to the woods to shit...I could barely stand to handle it with a shovel.

[Billup]

Originally Posted by carve

+1 Most people think this is shallow, but I can't stand the idea of having to handle human feces for several years One reason I didn't get another dog is I'm more urban now. Prior, I always had woods out back and would teach my dogs to go out to the woods to shit...I could barely stand to handle it with a shovel.

Yeah but...., who is going to change your shitty diapers when you are old and senile?



I'm hoping for a 20 year old smoking blonde, but I am counting my bets that it will likely be a fat hairy 30 year old man.

Unless I have kids, then I will tell them "plot twist; role reversal"

[dreamingat30fps]

Originally Posted by Billup

Yeah but...., who is going to change your shitty diapers when you are old and senile?



I'm hoping for a 20 year old smoking blonde, but I am counting my bets that it will likely be a fat hairy 30 year old man.

Unless I have kids, then I will tell them "plot twist; role reversal"

Unless you have one of them psycho kids that kills you in your sleep. Then you dont have to worry about being old and senile.

[KingOfJericho]

Originally Posted by carve

I'm 37 and have owned three cars in my life, two of which I still have: a 1995 Cherokee I've had for 17 years and my 07 335i I've had for just over 5 (and only paid $28k for at 1.5 years old). I'm careful with my money.




It's not that we couldn't afford it...it's that it'd be at the expense of all those things we enjoy, and would force us to be working stiffs for many more years of our lives when we could be traveling the world. BTW- my ski pass is $300 year and I get about 20 days out of it. $15/day- how extravagant I'm careful with my money. Gas is my biggest skiing expense.

I wasn't directing any of my comments on the M3 stuff toward you, it was just a general statement.

You're not ready for kids as personal sacrifice is really the name of the game. Ths focus is off of you and onto your child - it's as simple as that. As I mentioned earlier in the thread, you will temporarily be trading in some of those activities.

Think about it like this... when you were a single guy hanging out with friends, you only had to pay for you. Life was really cheap. Then you first meet a girl, you're usually paying for the two of you. It's an adjustment to bring that second person into your life but that's the trade-off, and it's worth it. The same applies to a child and you now have two incomes to support it all, however the expenses are different.

In my personal experience, we rarely go out to eat anymore which my wife and I both agree that we do not miss at all. It is really a huge waste of money when you think about it and kids get VERY grumpy when they're over tired. We are in the process of booking a trip to Italy for this June and will be taking our will-be-one year old. Nothing has changed there (and kids <2 fly for almost nothing). We don't do very much in the way of active stuff (hiking, skiing, etc) but we actually find that we are outside more than ever just walking her around in the stroller. That should increase as she becomes more active.

[carve]

I intend to take care of myself and live life to the fullest until I can't. If I can no longer enjoy life due to poor health, I won't go to extended lengths to prolong it. I may even pull a Nimitz.

[carve]

Originally Posted by KingOfJericho

I wasn't directing any of my comments on the M3 stuff toward you, it was just a general statement.

I know- I'm just saying that a lot of us really don't spend nearly as much on cars as a kid would cost, even if we're driving something nice. And you still need a car after you have a kid.

Think about it like this... when you were a single guy hanging out with friends, you only had to pay for you. Life was really cheap. Then you first meet a girl, you're usually paying for the two of you. It's an adjustment to bring that second person into your life but that's the trade-off, and it's worth it. The same applies to a child and you now have two incomes to support it all, however the expenses are different.

Nah- my girl makes about 75% of what I do, with potential for more (LOL- she drives a 325i and also got it for a steal...3 years old for $15k). It's only slightly less than I made at her age. I like independent women. I generally pay for a first date, but when the girl offers to pay or split my respect and attraction for her goes way up- she's looking for a partner...not a human wallet. The girl I almost made a run with made 10% more than me...I just wasn't as attracted to her. Mothers provide most of the nurtering, but as a man my job becomes mostly about resources. My ex only made about 1/3 of what I make (despite having more education than me...which I paid for) with zero interest in worrying about our financial future. I knew it'd take me many more years of work to achieve my goals, and I had little to fall back on if I wanted to take a risk or something. It always made me kind of resentful that she was happy to just have me pull most of the weight while pay was zero consideration in her choice of jobs. It is for her now though...must be a coincidence . She has half of all that I worked for, but I'll still achieve my goals much faster now.

In my personal experience, we rarely go out to eat anymore which my wife and I both agree that we do not miss at all. It is really a huge waste of money when you think about it and kids get VERY grumpy when they're over tired. We are in the process of booking a trip to Italy for this June and will be taking our will-be-one year old. Nothing has changed there (and kids <2 fly for almost nothing). We don't do very much in the way of active stuff (hiking, skiing, etc) but we actually find that we are outside more than ever just walking her around in the stroller. That should increase as she becomes more active.

I usually only go out to eat when I'm traveling. It's a waste of money...low ROI.

[ddk632]

Another thing to consider is some women, even when career oriented and ambitions, never go back to work after kids.

For the woman, the relationship, and the kids (not initially), this is a huge mistake on many levels.

Just thought it is worth mentioning as another "risk" to consider, namely that your enjoyment of 2 decent incomes will go away in the short term, and with some women, no matter what you do or say, they just don't go back to work and embrace the mom thing (taking it too far), taking away that extra income source for the long term.

I'm not talking stay at home mom with a 3 month old ... I'm talking with an 8 year old who's in school and mommy just uses the SAHM card to be a lazy biotch and not work. I am not saying this about all women - just saying it's a possibility with some women (also the man is complacent in this as well, if he capitulates) and that it's hard to know which type you have until after the fact.

As you can imagine at a time when expenses go up (new kid) and income goes down (non-working spouse), stress and animosity start to increase, and when it becomes long-term (i.e., permanent) resentment can and will breed on both sides.

[KingOfJericho]

I don't know man, I'm 32 and ever since graduating from college, I've been working hard and living hard. I got to drive a fun little sports car, travel all over the place, snowboard whenever I wanted to, golf every weekend, and go out for dinner many times each week - but now that I have a kid, I would trade it all for her. I don't have to, nor have I done so, but I would. If not having those things will make you miserable, then you're just not ready. But you can still trave the world with your kids, and you'll both be better off because of it.

You're in a thread filled with two types of people, those who have kids, and those who don't yet. I have not seen one parent tell you that they regret having kids or think they made the wrong decision.

The decision not to have kids seems like the easy choice, but it's one you have to be absolutely sure of because when the door closes, it doesn't reopen.

[128Convertibleguy]

Some do want kids, some don't. Those who don't tend to have somewhat more education and more money, which seems a bit counterituitive to me.

But I'll disagree with those who said, if you have any doubt, don't have them. Doubts re this decision (either way) are a sign of thoughtfulness. I'd be more concerned about people who don't have any doubts about having kids, there are going to be some bumps along the way, guaranteed, and you should be not be surprised when the going gets tough.

[KingOfJericho]

Originally Posted by 128Convertibleguy

Some do want kids, some don't. Those who don't tend to have somewhat more education and more money, which seems a bit counterituitive to me.

But I'll disagree with those who said, if you have any doubt, don't have them. Doubts re this decision (either way) are a sign of thoughtfulness. I'd be more concerned about people who don't have any doubts about having kids, there are going to be some bumps along the way, guaranteed, and you should be not be surprised when the going gets tough.

This is a good point. I was very apprehensive about the timing of starting a family while my wife was all about it (biology lol). She's very flustered when it comes time to do things like search for a nanny or find a daycare. Those are the times when I laugh and remind her of the conversations we had prior.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by ddk632

Another thing to consider is some women, even when career oriented and ambitions, never go back to work after kids.

For the woman, the relationship, and the kids (not initially), this is a huge mistake on many levels.

Just thought it is worth mentioning as another "risk" to consider, namely that your enjoyment of 2 decent incomes will go away in the short term, and with some women, no matter what you do or say, they just don't go back to work and embrace the mom thing (taking it too far), taking away that extra income source for the long term.

I'm not talking stay at home mom with a 3 month old ... I'm talking with an 8 year old who's in school and mommy just uses the SAHM card to be a lazy biotch and not work. I am not saying this about all women - just saying it's a possibility with some women (also the man is complacent in this as well, if he capitulates) and that it's hard to know which type you have until after the fact.

As you can imagine at a time when expenses go up (new kid) and income goes down (non-working spouse), stress and animosity start to increase, and when it becomes long-term (i.e., permanent) resentment can and will breed on both sides.

This is true. Im considering just being at SAHM