Is the M3 an intimidating car to start driving in?

[Foodle]

Originally Posted by Parkanzky

I get that she's a new driver, but do you really find a DCT M3 in D2/D3 without the power button on to be much different to drive than any other 3-series?

The autos are smoother at low speeds. The DCT controller makes some decisions about clutch in/out that lead to some lurching that you would not have in an auto with a torque converter. The BMW auto transmissions are amazingly smooth at all speeds.

[Slow_335i]

OP sit in the back seat! lol

[loflier]

Originally Posted by positiveions

another wife??? i don't know, just throwing this idea out there

+100000000000

[fuhshietfu]

The short answer is YES. I mean c'mon...My first car was a VW GTL with like 100 something HP..... your talking about 414HP RWD M3. Ofc she would be nervous. I give you props for even letting her attempt to drive it. Perhaps after she gets some driving experience under her belt...then she can get back in an M3 and feel less nervous. I wouldn't even trust her to drive alone at the moment. First its curbed wheel who knows whats next! I'm sure there will be something damaged next.

Buy a used 328xi or something. Or get her an SUV

[LarThaL]

Originally Posted by john_thor

I have been driving for years, but my wife has not. She recently passed her test and has no problems driving the instructors car.

However, whenever she drives the M3 its a disaster. If I speak she screams at me to stop distracting her. Her arms are super tense and so the steering is really jerky, she's not patient with the DCT clutch so its a real lurch experience.

Yesterday I asked her to take a road different to the sat nav because it was leading us through a real traffic black spot. That threw her off so badly that she drove the front right wheel against the curb and scuffed it pretty bad. She then spent 20min telling me it was my fault for confusing her.

What's worse is that when I ask her to pull over or whatever, she refuses and it degenerates into a battle of wills.

What can I do to resolve this? We generally have a very good relationship, but I can't put up with the abuse I get off her when she's driving. She's clearly mega stressed when she gets behind the wheel. What can I do to set her mind at ease? Should we give up on her ever driving the M3?

Here is the problem:

You are really not allowing your wife to drive. She may be in the driver's seat but you are still trying to be the driver. If one wants to let their spouse drive their M3, then one should shut their pie hole and just let them drive. If one can't do this, then one shouldn't let them drive. Simple.

I actually am in exactly the reverse situation. My wife is an excellent driver, is fully competent with a manual transmission, but still only rarely ever drives the M3. She knows its my prized toy, and she doesn't want to be responsible if anything were to happen to it while she was driving it.

[Elaz]

Wow you have nuts dude I would never let my wife drive my M. Don't let her drive it dude that would solve your problem.

[Rich_Jenkins]

Originally Posted by JoM3z

My wife ask me jokingly if I would let her drive the car. I told her sure why not *evil grin* I purposely set the car on M mode and boy the look on her face is priceless. She never ask to drive it again...

HAHAHAHA Outstanding!

[Rich_Jenkins]

Originally Posted by LarThaL

You are really not allowing your wife to drive. She may be in the driver's seat but you are still trying to be the driver. If one wants to let their spouse drive their M3, then one should shut their pie hole and just let them drive. If one can't do this, then one shouldn't let them drive. Simple.

Absofrickenlutely.

[FogCityM3]

DCT's are very female friendly, so there should be no excuses. j/k. yeah my wife gets nervous driving (or even backing up). Maybe let her drive it herself without you in the car so she can get comfortable with the car on her own terms...start off with neighborhood rides and go from there...

[mrkhanna16]

how stupid is this thread......Learning to drive in an S class is harder

[SYT_Shadow]

Originally Posted by john_thor

I have been driving for years, but my wife has not. She recently passed her test and has no problems driving the instructors car.

However, whenever she drives the M3 its a disaster. If I speak she screams at me to stop distracting her. Her arms are super tense and so the steering is really jerky, she's not patient with the DCT clutch so its a real lurch experience.

Yesterday I asked her to take a road different to the sat nav because it was leading us through a real traffic black spot. That threw her off so badly that she drove the front right wheel against the curb and scuffed it pretty bad. She then spent 20min telling me it was my fault for confusing her.

What's worse is that when I ask her to pull over or whatever, she refuses and it degenerates into a battle of wills.

What can I do to resolve this? We generally have a very good relationship, but I can't put up with the abuse I get off her when she's driving. She's clearly mega stressed when she gets behind the wheel. What can I do to set her mind at ease? Should we give up on her ever driving the M3?

Man, you're married and still don't know how this works?

First of all, no reason whatsoever for her to be driving when you're in the car, unless you're in a full body cast, drunk or otherwise completely out of order.

Seriously. Men have better spatial awareness than women, and undoubtedly you're a better driver so it's safer if you're driving.

I'd bet she'll be just fine driving alone. Just fine means typical woman driving, which includes bangs, scuffs and other marks showing up "out of the blue". You know, just like 'dem trees which plant themselves in the middle of roads!

To all the people saying the M3 is rough, really guys, we're not talking about a Viper. A E9X M3 feels like a luxury car compared to something a little raw like a E46 M3.

Again, no reason to have a woman driving if you're in the car. They are fully aware they're being judged for their terrible driving, but instead of "taking it like a man" they proceed to blame others for their mistakes, like slamming into the curb.

You're married, no excuse to not know how women work. Are you surprised you're blamed for something which isn't your fault?

No girlfriend has even turned my M3 on. Ever. Never will happen either.

[tibra1]

Its definitly a powerful car..so depending on if you have driven another 400HP RWD..it may very well be initimidating..it all boils down to the driver's experiences..

[Kradi]

shes definitely too nervous behind the wheel.... and afraid of messing up the car... so when she makes mistakes and the car doesn't respond well it makes it worse... man up and get her a giant SUV

[positiveions]

OP, i have an idea. Play reverse psychology on her; just to show her how she behaves.

[M3Denver]

Ya it sounds like your both making excuses. The M is easy to drive w dct. She just sounds like a paranoid crappy driver and needs to relax!! And you should get her in a rental car like a mustang or orange dodge charger w the hemi and get her used to driving a pos big car so she can learn how to relax in a good car.

[Foodle]

Originally Posted by positiveions

OP, i have an idea. Play reverse psychology on her; just to show her how she behaves.

Let me guess ... you're not married ...

[john_thor]

Guys, thanks for all your responses.

FYI, we are married one year but have lived together for 10 years, and are 34 years old, no kids.

I'm thinking that I should get her a cheap small compact and a permit to park it on the street near our building. She can then ding that however she likes, without having to worry about the (frankly) fiddly parking in our garage box. That way she can get her freedom to drive to places without me, when I am at work. This was the main reason she wanted to drive, to get independence when I am not around. For the longer trips together, I'll drive the M except perhaps on the motorway. She's actually not bad there.

Maybe in a year or two she can work up to the M. To be fair I had two years in a crappy astra, then 5 in a boxster with it's far flung nose (next time you see one, look at how far back the front wheels are from the nose). Maybe in a year she can go on a driver skills course for power cars etc.

I also think the guys who pointed out that she is driving an M3 with an M3 driver in the passenger seat have got it spot on. I've never going to be able to relax or shut up completely no matter how hard I try. So lets not bother. Good job I like driving!

[bnombe]

Originally Posted by mdosu

sounds to me, your wife is intimated by driving in general. Then add the unfamiliarility with the M3, the manly noises of the car, and high value of the car to you may get her even more nervous.

What she needs is a easy driving car a-la Corolla.

Or tell her to give up driving, switch to motorcycle and get her a litre RR bike... assuming she makes it alive thru the road test.

[Bayern1]

Keep the M3 and get a new girlfriend. Lol

[pbonsalb]

Originally Posted by john_thor

Guys, thanks for all your responses.

FYI, we are married one year but have lived together for 10 years, and are 34 years old, no kids.

I'm thinking that I should get her a cheap small compact and a permit to park it on the street near our building. She can then ding that however she likes, without having to worry about the (frankly) fiddly parking in our garage box. That way she can get her freedom to drive to places without me, when I am at work. This was the main reason she wanted to drive, to get independence when I am not around. For the longer trips together, I'll drive the M except perhaps on the motorway. She's actually not bad there.

Maybe in a year or two she can work up to the M. To be fair I had two years in a crappy astra, then 5 in a boxster with it's far flung nose (next time you see one, look at how far back the front wheels are from the nose). Maybe in a year she can go on a driver skills course for power cars etc.

I also think the guys who pointed out that she is driving an M3 with an M3 driver in the passenger seat have got it spot on. I've never going to be able to relax or shut up completely no matter how hard I try. So lets not bother. Good job I like driving!

When you get her a car, let her test drive them so she can decide whether she is comfortable with it. I like the idea of reintroducing her to the M3 later. That should go over a lot better.

[mamadub]

Originally Posted by JoM3z

My wife ask me jokingly if I would let her drive the car. I told her sure why not *evil grin* I purposely set the car on M mode and boy the look on her face is priceless. She never ask to drive it again...

Haha, you guys are so bad! Admittedly, when I first got mine, my brother gave me some instructions to follow. He told me to drive it first without using the paddles to get used to the car. (that lasted 5 minutes) Most importantly, he told me not to hit the M button until I feel 100 percent comfortable with the car. I took his advice and it all worked out great. However, I must agree with most of the other members that 1. It's a really bad car to learn to drive on and 2. You are probably scaring the crap out of her!

[positiveions]

Originally Posted by Foodle

Let me guess ... you're not married ...

no, and just because I am not, that doesn't mean I tried reverse psychology on a previous relationships.
let me guess, you've never tried it, or don't have the guts to.