Wow..what should i do?!

[BellasBmw]

I sort of feel like i know you guys, so i need your advice. Most of you know that i did end it with my x about a month ago. We broke up cause he couldnt trust me, and basically accused me of cheating and started threatening my friends/acquaintences, got my cell bill, went through my email..etc. So i basically got freaked out and said thats it.

I got home from work tonight, alone, and i walked into my room and saw a mess on my floor (it was dark) but i freaked out thinking someone robbed my house and i took off. So i went back to my restaurant, told my mom (my dad is in brazil with my brother and sis in law, my other bro is in mexico.. so its just her and i). So she and our co worker went back to my house to check out what happened. The house was perfectly fine, except my room was trashed. My clothes were thrown all over my floor, my jewelry (all my earrings and necklaces) was taken, my money from working was gone, my mom's xmas gift was gone, gifts for my friends are gone, a $250 tiffany necklace-GONE. Im sooooo mad!!!! I feel so violated and betrayed. My x is the only one who would know where i hide my money, how to get into my house, and he knew my dad was gone and it was just my mom and i (he also knows my work schedule). I cant prove its him, but really.. it cant be anyone else. We're gonna file a report tomrorow cause i lost valuables.. But my mom says to not start anything with him cause she thinks hes gonna kill me.

What do i do? The cops are coming tomorrow, theyre gonna ask why my room was the only one destroyed.. but im scared that he's gonna do something worse. I dnot care about the mess, but my gifts for xmas are gone, and im so sad.. :mad:

[BMW F22]

First, I am very sorry to hear that. Second, I would tell the cops that you think it was him. Sure it might get worse but if you dont, he will do even more damage. At least now you've got the cops on your side. At least they will be able to help out (restraining order??).

[BellasBmw]

Im just so mad, cause i feel like a fool. I helped him so much, my family did ALOT for him, and for him to steal from me is ridiculous. How can u steal from someone you once "loved with all your heart". If he would have just trashed my room, whatever, ill clean it. But for him to take my things, its 100x worse. I feel awful i cant give my mom the jacket i got her for xmas, why the heck would he take it?! I dnt have any jewelry to wear on xmas .. and the money ive saved for this month's car payment is gone.

Imagine if i left my car at home, geez..

[BMW F22]

that is messed up. Someone people just cant handle breakups very well. It's kinda sad really...he's doing all this to get attention. But he's only making things worst. TRashing a room is one thing but stealing xmas is another. I hope he gets what he deserves. Dont worry, things will work out for the best. You still got us here at E90post...

[Dante]

I´m so sorry to hear bella, what a X-mas. I hope you can get your stuff back/ replaced, on the other hand its just stuff. I think the worst is that you cant feel safe in your own home anymore

Maybe you can try talk to him

All the best for you and your mum

[BellasBmw]

Originally Posted by Dante

I´m so sorry to hear bella, what a X-mas. I hope you can get your stuff back/ replaced, on the other hand its just stuff. I think the worst is that you cant feel safe in your own home anymore

Maybe you can try talk to him

All the best for you and your mum

Thanks, my mom keeps telling me "dont worry bout the material things, be thankful he didnt do anything to u".. but it hurts knowing that hes sitting at his place or wherever with my stuff. im sure had someone with him, and for them to go through my stuff is beyond my comprehension. I will not talk to him and i havent talked to him for a month. Inside i want revenge so bad, i want to make him suffer, but i dont want to stoop down to his level. But controlling myself is super hard, there's so much stuff i can rat him out on, but i havent. My mom is nervous to tell the cops that we think it was him, cause she thinks it will aggravate him more, and do something worse. But, he needs to learn a lesson somehow.

[jcoo085]

What a bastard. A complete and utter bastard. Whoever it was. Especially if it was your ex! I have been on the receiving end of burglaries a couple of times, but never from someone I know. That makes it 1000 times worse, let alone the fact that it's christmas. Some people in this world have absolutely no respect of other people or their property. :mad:

I would tell the cops of your gut feeling, but stress that you are concerned for your safety. If they know that, they will tread carefully. But giving them the lead in the first place is the biggest help. They can take it from there.

I hope you can still try to enjoy christmas with your friends and family. I'm sure all of us at E90Post will be thinking of you!

[LEDZEP]

That's not the sort of thing to take chances on. Tell the cops the full story. They may not be able to do much, but at least it will be on record and maybe they can intimidate him a bit. Hope it goes well, but be careful!

[SCA]

Wow! I'm am so sorry...that is terrible. What a total focker! I would disclose everything to the police. Do you have a home alarm? If not I'd would look into having one install. Yes, the police response time probably is not the greatest, but it does draw attention to your home and it does notify the police to come and inspect your home for a break-in.


On another note, wtf is the deal with all the emotionally unstable people? I hear *ucked up stories from friends that are either dating someone or are married...What I do not understand is that most of them stay with these weirdos because they are afraid of being alone . Is no one normal anymore?

[AidenL]

What a nutter, and what a scary experience for you Bella !

tell the Police the whole story, I'm sure they have experience of guys like him, and a visit from the Police may make him step back and behave - he won't want the publicity or the hassle I bet.........

[Enroutte]

OMG BELLA! I am SO sorry. That totally sucks to have someone you once cared about do something like this to you. I think you should just tell teh cops what you told us. You shouldn't feel so threatened that you can't tell the cops. If you don't tell the police, he'll think that it's okay to do what he did because he got away wtih it. Good luck!

[LEDZEP]

Don't you have some Sicilian 'family' that could visit him? Half kidding, but that would scare me much more that police!

[flyinbrian]

Yikes, change your locks and definately report it.

[StewtheBassman]

Bella, that kind of abuse is the scariest of them all. What kind of mental state was this person in to violate what you hold dear so egregiously???

I hope the PD can help you.

When your Dad and Bro here about this the Shit will hit the fan for sure.

Be safe!! Your friends here care and would do more if we were closer!

[NaTuReB0Y]

just get Scott to kick his ass........hahaha!

in all seriousness.....sorry for your unfortunate incident!
sometimes bad things happened to good people..........
if it was your X.....what a freakin' LOSER!

[BellasBmw]

Thanks for all your reponses. I didnt sleep at all last night, i had to sleep on the couch cause my room is a mess. And i would wake up every hour thinking about it. I was thinking how he took a necklace my mom got me for my 18th bday,..etc. But whats weird, is that he left my tv alone, he didnt steal anything from the living room (digi camera, comp), he left my picture frames on my dresser, left the clothes hanging in the closet. It looks like he just wanted to find stuff, so he took everything out of every box, and drawer. I know the police are going to ask if i know anyone who could do it, cause obviously its just my room. My mom is worried cause if we accuse him and what not, it will make him have even more reason to come after me. Hes got nothing to lose, no family, no education, works on his own..etc. I see the good in people and i was so blind.

My dad helped him pay off his truck, my parents let him live in 1 of their properties and they charge him $300 less than they would for a stranger. I bought a flat screen for him last year, a bed, so much random shit, clothes, a trip to vegas (ok im gettin pissed again).. and he f**king did this to me. I could rat that guy out today if i wanted (he started selling weed in the last 2 months of our relationship). I was SOOO MAD when he started to sell, but he didnt care. It was easy money, so i know he has stuff in his house, but if i rat him out.. then ill prob get hurt or something. Ah this is so frustrating! Tonight im supposed to work and go to midnight mass, i didnt even sleep, xmas eve is gonna blow for me. What a bastard

[SCA]

Bella, you should not have to live your life in a bubble/being afraid of him. It is understandable that you are, it is a natural instinct, but this is exactly why so many women end up battered or dead. Many women seem to believe that it will only make things worse or that the police and the court system would not step up to the plate. A lot has changed over the years and the high profile cases (Simpson and Peterson) have caused police departments across the country to open their eyes.

[mjh93sa]

Bella, I can only add my sympathy to that of the others here. That any person can do this to another is reprenhensible

At University my friends and I were victims to some unknown toerag who cleaned the house of all electronic gear. Yes it was all replaced, but after that every small noise at night resulted in five twenty something blokes prowling the house with blunt (and not so blunt) objects.

If it were me I would level all of my concerns to the police, both your fears of who did it, and as to what he may do.

If you can improve your security then do so but above all be safe, and know that our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[BellasBmw]

The police are on the way over, i was skeptical of calling cause i figured they'd look at my room and just think it was "messy" lol. But my mom said they have to file a report so we can let our insurance company know. I had xmas gifts, and jewelry worth a few hunderd dollars. I had cash taken, and my dead grandmother's gold watch.

[deutschmann59]

Wow Bella...I just read through all the posts. Sorry to hear that happened, especially on Christmas. What a bummer. But what everyone said is true, though. You really don't want to take a chance with this guy--get the police involved and tell the full story. If you were the target and the whole house was left untouched except for your room, then obviously it was an attack against you and the police will ask if you've had any trouble with anyone or can you think of anyone who might do this.

Good luck and I hope every thing works out. I'll bet you're probably thinking...you know...just when you think you know someone. Well, Merry Christmas...and for what it's worth, you've got us here on the forum!

[diesel007]

As a man it embarrasses me to hear stories like this, yours is not the first and probably will not be the last. Why does a beautiful intelligent woman such as yourself get involved with such a sorry excuse for a man . I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years now and if I pulled any of that crap with her it would be over.

You need a man who is secure with himself, someone who will accept the fact that you will get hit on when you are out with your friends, but you love him and would never do anything about it. Please do yourself a favor and stay as far away from guys like this as you possibly can.

And sorry to hear about the incident I hope everything gets straitened out.

[the*saint*]

Bella, sorry to read about all this. I hope you are able to disclose as much info as possible for the police report. I can certainly see you're mother's position that it would be better to avoid making things worse with your ex. On the other hand, the police rely on co-operation like this so they can narrow the scope of their investigation.

jcoo085 is right in that any threat to your safety is high priority for police. Whoever did this (maybe your ex and accomplices) is surely cowardly. I feel your frustration for the loss of gifts and momentos.

It sounds like you have a decent and generous family and I hope this doesn't tarnish your outward perspective. The culprit(s) will be brought to justice and you shouldn't have to live in fear.