what would you do? (yet another relationship advice thread in OT)

[EmmettBrown]

alright im probably going to get 1 or 2 serious replies (if im lucky) out of the 10 posts that i get back but here it goes....



ill make this a short story: i've been with my girlfriend for 5 years now and back in '08 we took a two-three month break. it was supposed to be a break-up but we still hung out, talked on the phone, etc etc so that's why we considered it a break after all.

we both went out did our own thing but we both never did anything with anyone else. you all can deny her part on this one but i really do not care. i met a few girls, she met a few guys.

anyways after we got back, this one guy she met is like fucking obsessed with her and she already has told him multiple times that we've gotten back and that she's not interested in him. in 2009, he would still text her and or message on facebook. she would just ignore it and kept saying she is not interested and to leave her alone. 2010 shit isnt too bad anymore but he still leaves a card in her mailbox on her birthday and what not, and now she just told me that this past christmas he left a card or some shit on her car at work and how pissed off she is.

she told him he cant be doing this shit and he once again, apologized and said he wont ever talk to her again (which she told him not to talk to her ever again months ago).


i'm really getting fuckin sick and tired of this goddamn douchebag. i have his fucking address, workplace, cellphone number - anything, you name it.



now what should i do about this? me being in socal, and being the fucking age i am, theres no way i can have a serious talk with this guy and he'll just want to "fight" right away or some shit. i can already bet on it.

i would want to too of course but i gotta try and keep it serious.


should i take this on my own hands and "do something about it"? or have some people "pay him a visit"? this douchebag seriously is one of those fucks who doesn't stop bothering till something hits them (literally)

[blue2fire]

Leave your Girlfriend.

[EmmettBrown]

Originally Posted by blue2fire

Leave your Girlfriend.

lol

even if i did leave her (which i wouldnt right now), i would not be satisfied with this *** thinking he can just do whatever. its a seperate issue then a girlfriend now. its about respect and knowing what your fucking limits are.

[2M]

Sorry bro, I didn't know you were that serious..I'l stop calling her

[hl0m4n]

personally im not a fighter. if you trust she will never get with the guy and just be with you thats all you can really ask for.

i was never the protective type. even now im doing my own thing and she hers. at the end of the day you can only suspect both of you guys are doing the right thing and be done with it.

i do understand it can be mad fucking annoying some other guy mailing your chick, etc but i would let it go knowing your in good terms with your girl.

thats just imo. whatever you decide to do gl .

[Buegie]

The obvious answer is to get a restraining order. If he contacts her again after that just make sure you have documentation of it and he's fucked.

You could also go with the baseball bat to the kneecaps approach. Probably just as effective but could have repercussions for you.

[escobar929]

Originally Posted by hl0m4n

personally im not a fighter. if you trust she will never get with the guy and just be with you thats all you can really ask for.

i was never the protective type. even now im doing my own thing and she hers. at the end of the day you can only suspect both of you guys are doing the right thing and be done with it.

i do understand it can be mad fucking annoying some other guy mailing your chick, etc but i would let it go knowing your in good terms with your girl.

thats just imo. whatever you decide to do gl .

Originally Posted by Buegie

The obvious answer is to get a restraining order. If he contacts her again after that just make sure you have documentation of it and he's fucked.

You could also go with the baseball bat to the kneecaps approach. Probably just as effective but could have repercussions for you.

if he contacts her again, have her file a restraining order. I'm sure there is a way to block him from FB also, dont know if she has done that already or not.

if i were you, I would stay out of it for as long as possible.

[BlackMoupe]

Contact him yourself, make it clear he can't be contacting her anymore. Don't be aggressive, just assertive. Lay down some rules and the consequences for breaking them.

[choicez]

Have an affair with skinnycow.

[Quick6EF]

she fucked him

[NYCGarbagePrince]

He loved it.

[JayKay335i]

It could be that she fucked him. It could be that hes just strange and obsessed. I've dealt with similar situations. First off, at the end of the day, you're fucking and dating her and hes just some dude trying to creep in and failing. What I would suggest is getting her some mace or some shit. Hes just leaving little things and shit. You cant do anything legally until there is an actual threat to her safety. Until he proves to be a fucken psycho I dont think theres anything you need to do.

[TK-421]

Originally Posted by hl0m4n

personally im not a fighter. if you trust she will never get with the guy and just be with you thats all you can really ask for.

i was never the protective type. even now im doing my own thing and she hers. at the end of the day you can only suspect both of you guys are doing the right thing and be done with it.

i do understand it can be mad fucking annoying some other guy mailing your chick, etc but i would let it go knowing your in good terms with your girl.

thats just imo. whatever you decide to do gl .

What are you doing here? Update your goddam thread.

[TK-421]

Originally Posted by SSKE92

Contact him yourself, make it clear he can't be contacting her anymore. Don't be aggressive, just assertive. Lay down some rules and the consequences for breaking them.

This. Record the conversation and if he breaks those rules, you have grounds to get the restraining order. I doubt you would get one now because he really hasn't done anything as far as the judge is concerned (I've seen something like this happen to my neighbor).

[Quick6EF]

Okay although I mean what I said a few posts earlier - let me rephrase.

It sounds like this guy is:

A) Insane / Crazy / an Idiot
B) Trying to get his girl back
C) Clearly has no respect for the fact that she has a boyfriend

Maybe D) When you two got back together, she was still in touch with this guy. He did small things similar to what he is doing now and she liked it. Then all of a sudden she drops him out of no where because you guys got serious again.

Good advice would be to not acknowledge this kid, neither you or her.

If he texts, messages, carrier pigeon, etc. Just ignore it - any response from her is still keeping his hopes alive.














but she def fucked him

[wakeboarder109]

Originally Posted by TK-421

What are you doing here? Update your goddam thread.

no shit! update or ban!

[wakeboarder109]

OP, I can understand where you're coming from. If I was in this situation, I'd feel the exact same way. And after dealing with this shit for years, I'd want it to end too. Personally, I would think you'd have to go see him and set his ass straight. But even though you have every right to imo, I wouldn't be throwing the first blow.

[Agent P]

Originally Posted by Quick6EF

...Good advice would be to not acknowledge this kid, neither you or her.

If he texts, messages, carrier pigeon, etc. Just ignore it - any response from her is still keeping his hopes alive.

^This. Even an insincere "thanks" from your girl gives him hope and justifies his continued communication. Block him from everything you can and don't acknowledge his attempts.

I think most would agree that paying him a "visit" would be most satisfying, but it's not worth it. He sounds like the type of guy who has a lawyer on speed dial just waiting for you to fuck up. He'll probably gladly take a beating to get you out of the picture and have free run at your girl.

[kyleb350]

Bring up the restraining order idea to your gf and watch her response. If she's hesitant, she definitely fucked or is fucking him.

[Quick6EF]

Originally Posted by kyleb350

Bring up the restraining order idea to your gf and watch her response. If she's hesitant, she definitely fucked or is fucking him.

lol I don't think that would bring out a reaction from her.

She's a GIRL, probably loves this (unwanted) attention.



EDIT:

Convo btwn her and girls:


A: "OMG so you know that guy I used to hook up with when Emmett and I were on a break?"

B: "Yes! You said the sex was the best ever!! LOL!"

A: "Well he won't leave me alone! ...but he did send me such a nice Christmas card though <333 Emmett is so jealous now. He's like
always pacing around stomping his feat when I mention a text from him. I swear he started to cry last night too."

B: "Didn't you say you want to break up with Emmett anyway?"

A: "Yea I think I def do, but with Valentines day coming up I'll just wait."

[e46e92love]

Let it go, who cares what he is doing? Unless your GF is being made to feel anything more than annoyed. If she is feeling uncomfortable, as in not safe or weird, then report him to the cops. If you think that somehow he will get her back, well that's not his fault, that's your GF's fault and if the only way to keep her with you is to keep him away, your with the wrong girl.

I'm married, and some guy she dated 6 years ago is obsessed with my wife tries to call or facebook her once a year. I always ask her if she wants me to say something to him or call the cops, and she says she is fine, its not that big of a deal and she just thinks he is pathetic. I love and trust my wife, so what she wants is god enough for me.

Cheers,
e46e92

[Nedim]

SHE FUCKED HIM, maybe still does.