what would u do?

jontran · 12-18-2006, 01:01 AM

i have a good friend and known her for 2 years.she have 2 kids a 5 and a 1 year old.im starting to like her and i dont know if i should go for it or not.she is 24 and 1 year older than me.if u were me, would u go for it? is the kids going to cause our relationship if i get with her? if anyone been thru what i am going thru, please tell me how it is.i am asian and dont know if that matter?

ZuerstBMW · 12-18-2006, 01:18 AM

If you really love her, you will accept the fact that she has 2 kids. Personally, I would not get involved with someone that has kids, unless I really really loved her.

just4kickz · 12-18-2006, 01:39 AM

love doesnt have age requirements unless your 30 and shes 15... then you have a problem there.

findtom · 12-18-2006, 01:56 AM

Pics of girl will be required for us to properly assess this situation for you.

ChineseGuy · 12-18-2006, 02:14 AM

the problem is not if you like her....

it's if SHE likes YOU.....

if she doens't like u....then even if she's freakin hot and has no children......it won't matter to u.....

but if she likes u....and u like her.....then u 2 are already in a loving relationship....and everything in this world is not a problem...

things are simple if you don't think too complicated.....

jontran · 12-18-2006, 02:22 AM

as for the pic, i dont want to post pic without permission and i dont want to ask if i can post her pic because im asking this type of question.but i would rate her 9/10. i rarely rate anyone 9/10.as for she liking me or not, that i dont know for sure because i never confess to her.but i think she like me(9/10 times im right). those vibe where u know that someone like u or not.but i am holding back right now, dont know if i should keep going on and get with her.everytime i think about getting with her i start thinking about the 2 kids.

ZuerstBMW · 12-18-2006, 02:53 AM

If the fact that she has kids bothers you, I would not get with her because it will just bother you more once you get into a serious relationship.

Gearcraft · 12-18-2006, 03:44 AM

avoid putting yourself in situations where you dont have to be in. if you can. however, the decision is still yours.

consider the kids real father. what are you and them gonna do if the father comes back?

if you enter the relationship i think you're gonna face some tough issues sooner or later. i think a working relationship should not be full of stress. just my 2 cents.

Chris.G · 12-18-2006, 04:13 AM

If you really like/love this girl then you have to start to like the kids as well. If kids are going to be a problem for you then you should scrap this girl out of your mind. I personally wouldn't want to get myself into a relationship where the kids aren't mine, unless of course i love the girl very much.

NFS · 12-18-2006, 05:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jontran

i have a good friend and known her for 2 years.she have 2 kids a 5 and a 1 year old.im starting to like her and i dont know if i should go for it or not.she is 24 and 1 year older than me.if u were me, would u go for it? is the kids going to cause our relationship if i get with her? if anyone been thru what i am going thru, please tell me how it is.i am asian and dont know if that matter?

Just remember that she comes with the kids. They will always be part of her.

So long as you don't see that as a negative and so long as you want to be with her then you should go for it.

txusa03 · 12-18-2006, 07:26 AM

I have no opinion here. Is she asian too?

nmulax · 12-18-2006, 07:38 AM

I'm 24 as well, and honestly I couldn't do it.
Not to say you can't or shouldn't... just giving my point of view.
Understand that her kids will always come first. Also, it'd be good to know how involved the kid's father(s) is/are. Are you looking for a short-term gf? If so, walk away, the kids will just complicate that issue. If you're looking for something long term, keep in mind you may become a father figure to her children.

canucklion · 12-18-2006, 07:49 AM

+1
and I've gotta say, guys have no six sense, girls can tell if a guy likes her or not by feeling the vibe, not the same for guys, guys' six sense is pretty dull

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChineseGuy

the problem is not if you like her....

it's if SHE likes YOU.....

if she doens't like u....then even if she's freakin hot and has no children......it won't matter to u.....

but if she likes u....and u like her.....then u 2 are already in a loving relationship....and everything in this world is not a problem...

things are simple if you don't think too complicated.....

BuckJon · 12-18-2006, 07:51 AM

Just make sure you dont get used to be the baby daddy. Just curious but are the 2 kids from one dad or two? If two, I'd run for the hills.

txusa03 · 12-18-2006, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canucklion

guys have no six sense

what is six sense?

rest my case

kingbriani · 12-18-2006, 08:40 AM

you're still young, no point in complicating your life too much this early by getting into a relationship with a woman with kids. there are too many hot women out there to tie yourself down to one who doesn't put you in the best situation possible.

Ninjaneer · 12-18-2006, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canucklion

+1
and I've gotta say, guys have no six sense, girls can tell if a guy likes her or not by feeling the vibe, not the same for guys, guys' six sense is pretty dull

What do you mean no sixth sense?!!!! I see dead people all the time

Ninjaneer · 12-18-2006, 08:52 AM

I agree with all the people giving you the kids' angle. If you just want her and not her kids then it won't work. You need to realize that if you go for it, you're taking the entire package and you're gonna have to be a father figure / role model / care-giver to her kids. Are you prepared to grow up quickly and take that responsibility? If not, then don't bother... your situation will quickly die with her if she realizes that her kids are going to be a problem with you.

Josh49 · 12-18-2006, 08:56 AM

IMO, she had a kid when she was 19.. Doesn't seem like the brightest bulb in the lot..

My advice:
Run. Fast. You're 23..

canucklion · 12-18-2006, 09:00 AM

to be more prcise, it's 'women's intuition', never heard of 'men's intuition' have you?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ninjaneer

What do you mean no sixth sense?!!!! I see dead people all the time

TommyBahama · 12-18-2006, 09:22 AM

at least you know she puts out.

DevilDoc · 12-18-2006, 09:31 AM

get outta there, bro. nowadays, it's just not practical to get involved with women who has kids. you're starting to like her probably because you guys always talk and hang out. you might just be feeling sorry for her because of her situation and that could lead to an erroneous decision that you will truly regret later on. it is a very complicated matter. you're young, don't be in a hurry. trust me, you will find somebody more worthy of your attention. good luck.

12-18-2006, 01:01 AM	#1
jontran Registered 3 Rep 1 Posts Drives: 335i Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: ca iTrader: (0)	what would u do? i have a good friend and known her for 2 years.she have 2 kids a 5 and a 1 year old.im starting to like her and i dont know if i should go for it or not.she is 24 and 1 year older than me.if u were me, would u go for it? is the kids going to cause our relationship if i get with her? if anyone been thru what i am going thru, please tell me how it is.i am asian and dont know if that matter?
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12-18-2006, 01:18 AM	#2
ZuerstBMW ¡Viva España! 373 Rep 7,803 Posts Drives: 2023 230i Mineral White Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Apollo Beach, FL. iTrader: (68)	If you really love her, you will accept the fact that she has 2 kids. Personally, I would not get involved with someone that has kids, unless I really really loved her. __________________ 23 G42 230i Mineral White Cognac, Aluminum With Mesh Effect Interior Trim MODS Clear Guard, 15% Ceramic Tint, Floating Caps Last edited by ZuerstBMW; 12-18-2006 at 01:41 AM..
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12-18-2006, 01:39 AM	#3
just4kickz boku no namae ha... 336 Rep 11,025 Posts Drives: 2006 BS 330i Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: S. Bay Area, CA + Newark, NJ + ChiCity + True Blue iTrader: (11) Garage List 2006 E90 330i [0.00]	love doesnt have age requirements unless your 30 and shes 15... then you have a problem there. __________________ looking for a PreLCI Black Sapphire e90 front bumper without license plate holes "Akimbo shotguns. Broken wrists anyone? And don't give me that 'it's just a game' bull**. Where the are my akimbo interventions then?! One scope on each eye mother**er!!"
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12-18-2006, 01:56 AM	#4
findtom Colonel 129 Rep 2,658 Posts Drives: E60 545i Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Toronto, Canada iTrader: (0) Garage List 2005 545i [0.00]	Pics of girl will be required for us to properly assess this situation for you. __________________ http://www.eyesonwalls.com 1991 Suzuki Sidekick -> 1996 Nissan Altima -> 1997 Volvo S70 -> 2006 BMW 325i -> 2005 BMW 545i -> 2008 Mercedes ML550 -> 2013 Porsche Cayenne Diesel
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12-18-2006, 02:14 AM	#5
ChineseGuy QuickShifter 137 Rep 1,500 Posts Drives: Black E90 Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: North Pole iTrader: (2)	the problem is not if you like her.... it's if SHE likes YOU..... if she doens't like u....then even if she's freakin hot and has no children......it won't matter to u..... but if she likes u....and u like her.....then u 2 are already in a loving relationship....and everything in this world is not a problem... things are simple if you don't think too complicated.....
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12-18-2006, 02:22 AM	#6
jontran Registered 3 Rep 1 Posts Drives: 335i Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: ca iTrader: (0)	as for the pic, i dont want to post pic without permission and i dont want to ask if i can post her pic because im asking this type of question.but i would rate her 9/10. i rarely rate anyone 9/10.as for she liking me or not, that i dont know for sure because i never confess to her.but i think she like me(9/10 times im right). those vibe where u know that someone like u or not.but i am holding back right now, dont know if i should keep going on and get with her.everytime i think about getting with her i start thinking about the 2 kids.
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12-18-2006, 02:53 AM	#7
ZuerstBMW ¡Viva España! 373 Rep 7,803 Posts Drives: 2023 230i Mineral White Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Apollo Beach, FL. iTrader: (68)	If the fact that she has kids bothers you, I would not get with her because it will just bother you more once you get into a serious relationship. __________________ 23 G42 230i Mineral White Cognac, Aluminum With Mesh Effect Interior Trim MODS Clear Guard, 15% Ceramic Tint, Floating Caps
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12-18-2006, 03:44 AM	#8
Gearcraft misadventurer 57 Rep 708 Posts Drives: bubbie mystic blue whale Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: candied island iTrader: (0)	avoid putting yourself in situations where you dont have to be in. if you can. however, the decision is still yours. consider the kids real father. what are you and them gonna do if the father comes back? if you enter the relationship i think you're gonna face some tough issues sooner or later. i think a working relationship should not be full of stress. just my 2 cents. __________________ 325i I SP
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12-18-2006, 04:13 AM	#9
Chris.G Banned 105 Rep 3,120 Posts Drives: 2011 LCI MSPORT X5 30d Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Sydney, Australia iTrader: (0)	If you really like/love this girl then you have to start to like the kids as well. If kids are going to be a problem for you then you should scrap this girl out of your mind. I personally wouldn't want to get myself into a relationship where the kids aren't mine, unless of course i love the girl very much.
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12-18-2006, 07:26 AM	#11
txusa03 Major General 548 Rep 6,563 Posts Drives: TS330iPPSP6MT Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Planet Earth iTrader: (3)	I have no opinion here. Is she asian too? __________________ under construction!
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12-18-2006, 07:38 AM	#12
nmulax Brigadier General 378 Rep 4,320 Posts Drives: '07 Z4 M Coupe Join Date: May 2006 Location: Metro-Detroit iTrader: (5) Garage List 2007 Z4M Coupé [7.66]	I'm 24 as well, and honestly I couldn't do it. Not to say you can't or shouldn't... just giving my point of view. Understand that her kids will always come first. Also, it'd be good to know how involved the kid's father(s) is/are. Are you looking for a short-term gf? If so, walk away, the kids will just complicate that issue. If you're looking for something long term, keep in mind you may become a father figure to her children. __________________
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12-18-2006, 07:51 AM	#14
BuckJon First Lieutenant 19 Rep 364 Posts Drives: '07 335i Coupe Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: San Diego, CA iTrader: (0)	Just make sure you dont get used to be the baby daddy. Just curious but are the 2 kids from one dad or two? If two, I'd run for the hills. __________________ Turtles Run
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12-18-2006, 08:40 AM	#16
kingbriani Private First Class 25 Rep 122 Posts Drives: '07 Honda S2000 Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: NC iTrader: (0)	you're still young, no point in complicating your life too much this early by getting into a relationship with a woman with kids. there are too many hot women out there to tie yourself down to one who doesn't put you in the best situation possible. __________________ __________________________________________________ Future ED Car: E92 335i Montego Blue w/ Black leatherette and Grey Poplar Sport Package, Navigation, Bluetooth, Sunshade, Heated Seats, 6 mt BBS RG-Rs
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12-18-2006, 08:52 AM	#18
Ninjaneer Shadow Warrior 139 Rep 2,095 Posts Drives: '07 335i Sedan Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Florida iTrader: (0)	I agree with all the people giving you the kids' angle. If you just want her and not her kids then it won't work. You need to realize that if you go for it, you're taking the entire package and you're gonna have to be a father figure / role model / care-giver to her kids. Are you prepared to grow up quickly and take that responsibility? If not, then don't bother... your situation will quickly die with her if she realizes that her kids are going to be a problem with you. __________________ 335i E90 / Arctic / Gray / Burl Walnut / Steptronic / ZPP / ZSP / Paddles / CA / Nav / PDC / OEM Spoiler Mods: PIAA Angel Eyes, Rear Fog Switch, Escort X50 Blue hardwire, 30% Charcoal Llumar Installing soon: Rear Power Outlets (Happy Robot mod!)
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12-18-2006, 08:56 AM	#19
Josh49 Major General 252 Rep 6,664 Posts Drives: E90 325xi Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Boston, MA iTrader: (33)	IMO, she had a kid when she was 19.. Doesn't seem like the brightest bulb in the lot.. My advice: Run. Fast. You're 23.. __________________ E90 325XI, MYSTIC BLUE ON BLACK/ALUM, STEP, NAV, PDC, CWP, XENON, SIRIUS, ALARM, MUD GUARDS, CLEARBRA, CHROME GRILLS AND TIPS, VALENTINE 1 (HARDWIRED), HO CERAMIC 40%, 161'S, REAR FOG MOD, LUX 4.0, BLACKLINES, OEM PEDALS, MTEC FOGS, GRUPPE-M REP INTAKE. 156'S AND RUBBER MATS FOR THE WINTER.
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12-18-2006, 09:22 AM	#21
TommyBahama Second Lieutenant 11 Rep 258 Posts Drives: e90 330i Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Umass iTrader: (0)	at least you know she puts out.
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12-18-2006, 09:31 AM	#22
DevilDoc New Member 0 Rep 9 Posts Drives: E90 330i Ti Ag Metallic Join Date: May 2006 Location: Chula Vista, CA iTrader: (0)	get outta there, bro. nowadays, it's just not practical to get involved with women who has kids. you're starting to like her probably because you guys always talk and hang out. you might just be feeling sorry for her because of her situation and that could lead to an erroneous decision that you will truly regret later on. it is a very complicated matter. you're young, don't be in a hurry. trust me, you will find somebody more worthy of your attention. good luck.
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