Hey Fellas Got A Problem...

[ScBlacksunshine]

I am sorry Bro...but you need to DTB (dumb that bitch) as Lekis would say...not worth your time. I mean if she's gonna bitch at you about little thing like the forum or your car, just imagine down the road you want to watch a ball game, hang out with your friends, or buy some cool toys for yourself. Think of how much she would bitch at you for. Also, you've been with her for 6 months, not even pass the intimate period and she's already bitching? WTF? I mean, think of it this way, relationship is about compromise to a certain degree, if she really cares about you, then she will learn to adapt and understand how important your car is to you and let you have your fun. Sounds to me she wants all the attention to her, tell you what, try turning the table on her and ask her to give up something she's really into for you. See what she will say (ie..shopping...etc) I have a feeling that's where the double standard lies...

[rchanou]

^^ Exactly.

Leykis will tell you how to get more a** than a toilet seat.

[yaja]

Is this a serious relationship or just a time passer? If it's serious then I always consider the 3 C's, communication, compromise, and commitment!

Either way, I love the Forum too, but IMO, there is a lot more to life then E90POST. Besides, too much time in front of the monitor is not good for your eyes. As it was said earlier, BALANCE!

Maybe the both of you could find a hobby that you would enjoy together

[E36_325i]

Dump her. Then take the money you would have spent on Dinner, movies, etc and buy more bandwidth and mods for your E90.

[victri]

Start bitching about how much time and money she spends shopping for shoes, then give her an ultimatum; it's her shoes or you.

[RBBMWE46M3]

as you are pouring the coals to her from behind, start to tell her about this great idea you found on e90 post and after that...never talk to again....

[Robin_NL]

It's no comparison. Choose the girl in the first place. But be careful.Been there done that.

[victri]

Seriously though, there's not much that anyone can help you without knowing you two very well.

Could be that you're insensitive/inattentive and have really been going overboard, or maybe she's really possessive and insecure, and will want to restrict all your other activities.

It's all about being reasonable and compromising, but at the same time, being true to yourselves. My girl pretty much lets me do what I want. She knows I get obsessed with stuff because that's my personality. She also knows that I'll throw everything else aside if she ever needs me (she comes first). I let her buy her shoes, and she lets me do my stuff.

Good luck!

[Robin_NL]

Example:I'm obsessed with carracing/trackdays and via the internet I find people who somewhat think like me. That's great. But on a trackday you can also meet the people you want to meet. The internet is a good thing but don't get obsessed. Women is a different story

My ex hated cars and internet but she loved sex. Now she's my ex but she is calling me all the time to be/stay friends. I won't do that again, she was/is too possessive even though she is a hot very classy woman

[slubu]

First of all, where the hell did you go? You've disappeared. Second, never take advice from a girl on girl problems...if you did then the solution to all problems would be to serenade a girl after riding in on a white horse with a copy of the Notebook on DVD to watch while you cuddled her until she fell asleep talking about how much she loves ponies.

Go with the mava line of thinking as I agree. Do what makes you happy...it's your reality, not hers. The person with the stronger beliefs and reality controls.

[timzerofive]

You know what they say... it ain't no fun if the homies can't have none.

[Nikki]

If a web forum means more to you than this girl then fine, dump her, because you're wasting her time.

[Neil]

Just slap her around a few times to teach her who's boss.

Seriously though, we really don't know the details. Are you on the forums for like 10hrs a day which would be a legitimate reason that she feels like she's got no attention?

or

Is she just a bitchy person in general who always finds something to complain about. If this is the case time to dump that ass as this forum will just be the beginning once she finds out she has "won" once. It will never end.

[EVO_S4]

Like Mav said, its a controlling game for her

[jkcali2ooo]

Okay, I've gotten a chance to read all the advice and appreciate all the input. As far as more specifics about our relationship ... well ... I would rather not spill everything on a forum (save that for a future shrink... ) But seriously, I really do appreciate all the input, which includes the joking remarks. Here are some brief specifics: I am 24 and I do spend about 2-4 hours on average a day reading and responding on this forum for the past month regarding speculation on the new 335i sedan, pmbs, brex, blacklines, piaa ultra white fogs, etc... So as you can see I have been getting into it. In addition, I have also been recently modding my car (pmbs, oem alarm, fog light, blacklines, (possibly brex later unless pmb2.0 is much better) etc.

My gf is cool overall and I am not just looking for a fling. I do feel she is somewhat clingy but I haven't met one girl who isn't. I am just wondering if 2-4 hours on this forum is really that big of a deal + the time spent modding (which is not everyday and has recently stopped anyway). I mean I just recently got the car so I did not think it would be any huge issue to spend time on it. (she spends plenty of time shopping...)

So anyway I don't think our relationship is in any real jeopardy. Nor do I think I am acting in an unreasonable manner. Maybe natureboy put it best,

"my wife does the same shit to me......

i just kind of ignore it.....and it'll slowly go away....." LOL!

Thanks again all for the advice and keep it coming.

Maybe Mark should create a new forum in the members lounge entitled "E90 Official Member Therapy"

[BellasBmw]

Originally Posted by mava330

I humbly disagree with the posts.... This is a CONTROL game she's playing. She wants CONTROL of you... period. E90post is a guise... It's this now, then it will be guys night out, then it will be sports, then it will be (fill in the blank).

While yes relationships should have compromise NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE takes my passion for various things in my life away from me.

I would much rather be "alone" than deal with someone that's constantly trying to gain an advantage over me by limiting what it is I can and will do. My .02. YMMV

I guess I'm a punk like that.

Gotta agree with Macdaddy on this one.. I mean seriously its only been 6 months??! And its only been 3 since youve had the car. Imagine in a year from now, 2, 10..shes gonna be controlling everything from what time you should take a piss to when you can bang her. Sorry but if you give in now, your asking to be a bitch. Sure you can compromise and chill out on the car, but to be put in an position where you have to CHOOSE, thats ridiculous.

edit- i didnt read all the posts, so if someone said this already or if the issue was resolved, my bad. But that was just my .02 cents

[ScBlacksunshine]

Originally Posted by BellasBmw

Gotta agree with Macdaddy on this one.. I mean seriously its only been 6 months??! And its only been 3 since youve had the car. Imagine in a year from now, 2, 10..shes gonna be controlling everything from what time you should take a piss to when you can bang her. Sorry but if you give in now, your asking to be a bitch. Sure you can compromise and chill out on the car, but to be put in an position where you have to CHOOSE, thats ridiculous.

edit- i didnt read all the posts, so if someone said this already or if the issue was resolved, my bad. But that was just my .02 cents

Good point, and this is coming from a woman too, so that's gotta count. It's kind of like car salesman know how the next car salesman think not saying you're like that Bella, I wouldn't know honestly, but at least you know in general how women think

[jkcali2ooo]

Well I should say that when she said I had to choose, it was just her being emotional. We have talked since then and she has calmed down a bit. However, she still wants me to chill out on the forum and my car.

[BellasBmw]

Originally Posted by jkcali2ooo

Well I should say that when she said I had to choose, it was just her being emotional. We have talked since then and she has calmed down a bit. However, she still wants me to chill out on the forum and my car.

I dont know details so my opinion is just based on what you posted. But this is your passion, its your drive.. if she cant accept that, then she cant accept you. You know what i mean? For example, My x bf is obessesed with baseball. It was on the tv day and night, he always talked about, he played in a league..etc. Well, i HATED the sport. I couldnt stand it. BUT i had to make a decision, either accept it or be miserable everytime i went to his house, hung out with his friends, went to his games. And you know what, I LOVE THE DAMN SPORT now. She should open up and try to appreciate your hobby, that way she will feel more comfortable knowing shes part of it also. Rather than feel like shes being ignored. But ill tell you this- i NEVER ever told my x he had to choose btwn baseball and me. If i ever did that to him, i thnk i rather have him chose baseball.

Sure you should compromise, but hey..she should too. All's fair in love and war.

[jkcali2ooo]

thanks for the input

[Neil]

Yeah get her into car modding so she can buy you parts for your car

[victri]

Sometimes we just need to communicate. She probably doesn't understand your connection to your car. You need to understand her point of view too (or at least pretend to).

I tell my girl that this is what I am. It's all these parts that make up the whole. I get very engrossed in stuff that I do, and I am always very thorough and never miss out on the smallest details. That translates to all parts of my life (work and play). If I didn't care about all these things, I'd probably be a sloppy guy with a "yeah whatever" attitude. Because of this, I'll research stuff and wouldn't it be beneficial that when we have a big purchase, or some major emergency, that I'd know what to do? Or would she rather prefer "yeah whatever" who drives around in a dirty beat up clunker?

I'm lucky to have a girl who tries to put herself in my shoes before she goes mental on me. Knowing that, I try to do nice things for her whenever I can. I can tell you that these little gestures go a long way!